A/N Warning, in this chapter there is depression involved and also someone semi giving up. Just thought I put this warning in. It will have a happy ending. Uh and also naming titles is difficult. Anyway, I hope you will enjoy this 

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Merlin had gotten his heart broken not once but twice. The first time was with Arthur who had not been unaccepting of his magic. It pained him and there was nothing he could do. His heart ached as this had been his best friend, his brother. It had been a fear of his and he could not blame the other. It was never Arthur's fault, but Uther's.

The father of his had drilled in Arthur that magic corrupts. Yet he could see that Arthur was clearly thinking about this. The conflict gave him a bit of hope. And even when the other would accept him, it would not help.

The male was after all on deaths bed. He would die and that was something that the dragon had warned him off. Mordred would be indeed the cause of his best friend death and it was all the fault of Morgana. Yet even this he could not fully blame them.

There was as the guilt that he had not helped Morgana. He had been as much as fault as Uther. After all, he had started the death of his kind. Most had been innocent of any ill will. They all wanted to use magic to heal or help and the thanks was being killed. It was agony and he was conflicted. Merlin wasn't sure that he would be able to do this without Arthur.

This was a mess and he had no idea how to handle this. He wasn't sure that he would ever return to Camelot when Gwaine would die. All he could hope that none of his friends died.

At least he had still Gwaine. The person he fell hard and he could just hope that his best friend would be alive. Hope that his crush would be fine and healthy. Yet there was something in him that felt the dread. That even he would lose his beloved.

He felt guilty about killing Morgana but there had been no way. The female had been a threat to Camelot. A threat to the person that was his brother by heart.

"Merlin..." The soft spoken of Arthur made him snap his head over to Arthur who gave him a heartbroken look.

"Please, don't talk. You need your strength, Arthur."

"N..No, I-I need to..." Whatever the king wants to tell him made him stop interrupting. "I kn...ow now why...you hid your magic...should have know a...and for that I am sorry."

It felt genuine and the eyes showed the guilt about his actions before. Yet there was no way that he could survive this. It was something that even now as he was at the lake, that the other was going to die.

"No it's fine this-this was not your fault." He couldn't help saying this as it might be the last memory.

"N...no it wa...s not fine."

He wanted to argue but Arthur seemed to clearly see through him. The knowing look showed enough for him to know that Arthur knows of his pain.

"I...w.as a clot...pole."

He blinked first before chuckling at the words. It was something that he even now could not believe that he had let him call the prat this way.

"I mean you were but, still you were taught and well..." He trailed off, and Arthur gave him a weak smile at this.

"Tr..true but, still, sorry and thank you." His voice was soft and he swallowed the lump that formed in his throat.

In his emotional state he couldn't help but hug the other. Merlin could feel the life slowly being left out of Arthur's eyes. The breathing of his king got raspier and he knew that soon it would be his last.

"Y...you always were like a...little...brother f..or m..." With this the last breath was taken. This would not be the last heartbreak that would follow.

Something in him cracked and he broke down in heart wrenching sobs. Tears falling down and he couldn't help crying for the person that had been a brother for him. Merlin knew that now he could just hope that at least Gwaine was fine.

Arthur would come back at least this was what he hoped he would after all that goddamn dragon had said this. It must be true after all he had been right about Mordred.

With this he thrown the sword into the lake as he was not wanting it to get into the hand of anyone and with heavy heart he put his brother per heart on the boat and using his magic to make the boat leave.

His eyes watched as the boat moved more away as tears still rolled down. Merlin never had felt more alone then now. He continued to stare even after the boat was not seen any longer. Now he had no idea what to do. He died and he failed his destiny.

"Merlin?" The soft spoken tone of Percy made his head slowly turn towards his direction.

"Y-Yes?" His voice was as soft and he almost was close on breaking down again.

"Arthur has he-?"

"Died? Yeah..." He swallowed his lump in his throat trying not to break down again but as Percy looked at him with these sorrowful eyes he couldn't stop the tears from flowing once more.

"I-I couldn't do anything.For what do I have my goddamn magic when I cannot even stop the person I cared from dying."

He couldn't help himself but say this. Percy was someone who was one of his friends and he deserves to know this. When even Arthur could overcame his look on magic then others could as well. Even when not he was done. Arthur had died and there was nothing that could stop him any longer from hiding this.

"Oh. I am guessing Arthur ended up knowing then?" Percy said yet had not moved and he wondered what the other was hiding.

As an answer he could just nod as trying to stop the tears but he could not stop them. Something in him told him that Gwaine would never come back. That he lost the other and when this would be true, he was not sure that he could continue with living.

"I see. Well glad to see that you managed to tell him before he died. I am sure that it was not easy, knowing how Arthur probably had reacted."

There was an odd tone and he sniffled as deciding that maybe the other needed a hug. Percy was one of the most gentle person he ever met. That the other had not yelled at him and simply being understanding made him hug the other. Percy first stiffen but soon hugging him back.

"I-I-I was too late, he-he, Gwaine, I am sorry. I am so so sorry, Merlin." He knew what this meant and he felt his heart shatter.

His instinct told him after all that Gwaine had not made it and once again he had been right. The tears continued to flow and his sobs were heartwrenching. It was not fair that the people that Merlin was the closest with ended up dying. This was just no fair and he felt that nothing else mattered that the two died.

The death of his brother had been bad enough but having the person this his heart belonged to being ripped from life was pure agony. Even as he stopped crying he continued holding on the other.

"Not your fault. Gwaine would not fault you for his death and neither are you."

The other looked at him with surprised look yet appreciation. There was a silence for a moment and soon he let go and letting out a sigh.

"I don't think I will join you back to Camelot, just can't." He really couldn't.

There was no way that he would go to the place that where he had so many painful memories of Arthur and Gwaine. The other understood this. He gave him a hair ruffle and telling him to take care, with this he was left once again.

Merlin decided that he would visit his mother. And this was how his heart got shattered even more.

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His mother was as affectionate and understood that he would need time. She was there for him and helping him through the mourning, yet not even her could help her and that was why after three month's he was dragged back by Percival to Camelot.

Even though he was not wanting to. It led for him staying holed up in his new room. Not even the magic ban liftment could help with his sorrow. Merlin could not bring himself to smile. Could not bring himself to feel happy.

Even with time he couldn't be bothered caring for anything. Merlin felt distressed and the more of his friends starting dying the more he felt dumb. Percival was the only one that managed to bring a small smile up, but even this was less.

It ended up him staying in bed and no one could bring him out not even Percy. It led for the other to take care of him, even after many years. He felt exhausted and wanted to give up. After all, almost everyone was dead other then Percy.

Merlin had not even realized that the other had not grown older then others. He was too out of it at the end and started to sleep more and more.

Hundreds of years later (around 800) and Percy's pov

Merlin was someone that he adorn and was his friend, but more then just his friend he felt like a little brother to him. Seeing him this way pained him and he was unsure how to react about the fact that the other had magic. It was not the fact that he had magic but him not telling anyone.

Until Arthur died and even now he could feel his heart breaking whenever he sees Merlin. The eyes that held mirth and so much life was lifeless. They lost the spark and he tried to help his brother but he knew that nothing would work much.

That was why he was staying strong and continue taking care for Merlin, even hundreds of years later. By now time flown by and Merlin was continue sleeping. It was hard but at least by now there were equipment that made it possible for him to watch over his friend.

Yet he missed Merlin and missed everyone and it was astonishing how he could use magic. It was not noticeable at first but it was as if someone of the higher power done this to make sure that Merlin would have someone that would be there for him.

A reason why he was probably still there. It was the reason why he could stay at two places at same time. As he still needed to get money. This was why he started to open his own work place where people could both train and have a place to learn how to fight with hand to hand. Fighting with swords was not anymore something that people done. A shame really as he loved fighting with sword. Not the harming obviously but it was his thing to help him cope. 

He learned some cool fighting styles and the one he liked the most was the Japanese version. It looked so graceful and who doesn't find Katana's badass. These swords can be so pretty and it was probably why he started to buy different kind of Katana's. He had a collection by now and they were sometimes really old. He got them when going to Japan, sadly Merlin was still unconscious and he had to make it so that no one could see him. 

Even now he used his sword for training and people starting to watch him, telling him that his skill was amazing and that they would want to learn. It ended up with him starting to teach people how to fight with sword.

The entire day he stayed absent minded and ending up closing down his work place. As entering he moved first to the room where Merlin resided. His eyes soften and he let out a sigh. The other was still in a coma. Percy had to wonder how long this would take until his friend would wake up.

His heart ached for the other and he missed Merlin all he could hope was that the other would wake up soon. 

A/N I hope you liked this and there will be a happy ending. This will probably be at least 2 to 3 parts uwu