As I'm sorting through everything I got today, I decided to turn on the radio to some Twenty One Pilots. I can't help but dance around as I'm putting everything away. I can't believe how much stuff I really got today. Heading into the bathroom next to put all my Lush items away, I had to go back out for the rest. Dancing my way into the living room I hear a chuckle. Startled I turn around.

"You know you really shouldn't leave your door unlocked this late at night, you don't know who can get in."

I drop the bag I'm holding and run straight into Zane's arms. He holds me for what feels like forever. I don't want to let go, what if I'm imaging this. He finally pulls away and kisses my forehead.

"What the hell Zane!"

"I couldn't stay away. I need Paul and mostly I need you. I was the surprise for you and Paul. I was hoping you'd be with him."

"Paul figured Chris had something romantic planned so I told him to just drop me off. We had no idea."

He pulls me into him again. "Well now you do and now I'm here."

I pull away and smack his arm. "Don't you ever leave me again!"

He chuckles and kisses me. "I tried so hard Lucy, I tried like hell to be a bad ass and stay away. I believed with all of me that you would be better off without me, but I'm too selfish I'm not better without you."

"Where are you staying?" I ask.

"I don't know. Was thinking of asking Paul if I can crash on his couch and get my job back at the bar."

"You can stay here. If you don't want to rush things with us you can pull the bed out from the couch."

"What and deny me of being able to be sleeping next to you?"

I get all giddy inside and the past few weeks that he was gone doesn't seem to matter much anymore.

"I'm not denying you of anything. But please forgive me for being guarded since you've already left once."

"Lucy" he brushes his hand across my cheek and tucks a strand of hair behind my ear. "I'm sorry ok. I don't know what I was thinking, I don't know why it made logical sense for me to leave."

"Zane what matters is you came back."

"No I know I hurt you and Paul by leaving and that wasn't right. But Lucy know that I will make it up to you however I can."

We spent the rest of the night putting everything else away, talking and goofing off. I made some room for Zane's bags, Zane whipped up some quesadillas and we turned on a movie. We really watch a lot of movies but hey it's all good.

"So what happened when you were gone? Paul told me he talked to you and that you had went to a rehab house."

"Yeah, I didn't want to end up back on drugs so I thought that would be the safest place for me."

"I'm glad you made the right decision. But I'm even more happy that you came back."

"I know. Me too."

His hands begin to slide down my body and landing on my thigh. I like this outfit. His fingers slide under the hem of the skirt and inch higher. He uses his free hand to lift my chin and kisses me hard until our lips part and tongues meet. I swing my leg over and straddle him. He shifts his body so he is centered underneath me and he runs his hands up the back of my legs and he cups my ass. Lucy! No underwear?

I jump up! "Shit shit shit! I totally forgot I took them off. I was going to take a bath and try out one of my new bath bombs."

"Oh Lucy." He says licking his lips and pulling me back down onto him. "I'm not complaining one bit."

He hands move to my neck and he pulls me down to kiss me again and my hands run up his chest. Zane sits up, me still straddling him and he breaks the kiss.

"Let's not do this today." He says.

I look at him confused. "What are talking about?"

"Lucy I want to take our time. I want to do this right. For once in my life I want to do something right."

I know he wanted me as much as I wanted him. He says he wants us to take our time but really? How can you initiate and then pull back?

He sighs. "Don't be upset with me Lucy, please."

"I'm not. Just confused."

"Confused about what hun?"

"You, us...I don't know!" I'm frustrated. "I don't know how to do this."

"Do what? Have a relationship?"

"Yes. I've never had one before. I've only had flings and the next day they were all gone."

He takes my face into his hands looks straight into my eyes. "I'm not a fling, I don't want to be a fling. I'm not going to be gone in the morning. But is that what you want? Do you just want to sleep with me and me leave before you wake up? Tell me Lucy? Tell me what do you want?"

I start to tremble and I can't stop the tears from welling up in my eyes and Zane brushes one away with his thumb not moving his hands from my face. He doesn't want me to look away so he's making sure I don't while he stares a hole deep into my soul. I try to shake my head but he doesn't let me. I say nothing I'm frozen. Finally he drops his hands in frustration and turns around walking away from me. He stands in front of the window and his breathing is rough and staggered.

He suddenly turns around. "So let me get this straight. You are mad at me because I won't have sex with you?"

I still don't say anything. I'm trying to fight the tears. I don't know why I'm acting this way. He's not saying he doesn't want to sleep with me he just doesn't want too right now, he wants a relationship not a stupid little fling that I'm so used too. Stop it Lucy! Stop it before he walks out that door again.

"I wish you'd say something Lucy." He shakes his head.

Oh dear god he's leaving! Lucy snap the fuck out of it! "Wait! Don't leave."

He snaps his head back. I know he's waiting for me to say something more.

"I'm sorry." I finally managed to make some form of words come out.

"Lucy...what are you so afraid of? Please don't use the excuse that I'll disappear again because honest to god I have no plans of that."

"I'm not sure. I don't know...maybe that I can't give you want. Again I don't know how to do this relationship shit."

"And you think I do? I'm no pro Lucy. I've fucked my life up so much over the past like 8 years. Drugs, sex, alcohol you name it. I'm no prime example."

"You are right. I guess we learn to do this together?"

"Would you look at that!" He's says with a smirk and he is now in front of me wiping the tears from my face. "We got this hun."

"Hope you can be patient with me."

"And I hope you can be patient with me."

I wrap my arms around him and I feel that all familiar embrace. It feels like home. I take a deep breath and just go with the moment.

Zane pulls away. "You have no idea how hard that was to stop." He shakes his head. "You kill me Lucy. No girl has ever been able to get me to feel like this or ever get me to push off sex."

"Well I'm going to go at your pace. You want us to take our time so that's what we will do."

He smiles and takes my hand to pull me back onto the couch with him and we lay there finishing the movie we started as he rubs my neck. I so could fall asleep right now.

"Hey." I look up at him.

"Hey." He says back.

"What makes me so different?"

"Because who you are as a person. You've got a giant heart and you listened to me and never judged me. You still saw me for me. Your beautiful Lucy, inside and outside. I can't wait to get to know all of you."

I melt like jello when he says that. Every girl wants to hear what he has said. Every girl wants to be made out to be the best thing in the world. I think he has just made me feel that and more.

A few minutes later there's a text from Paul asking me if Zane has made his appearance and if things are going ok. I smile at the text because I know how genuine Paul is and he probably has waited for this day for a long time.

Pauls a romantic and I have seen that from day one. He's my best friend but also like a big brother to me. I'd be incredibly lost without him. I let him know things are going ok and that we had talked and worked things out. He seems happy with that and stops responding to me.

Zane picks up the remote to change channels since the movie is over and he finds the history channel with some show about paranormal investigators. I get excited when he stops and puts the remote down.

"I love these shows!" I say with excitement. 

"Oh good I was hoping so. I didn't want to have to change it." He laughs and pulls me in tighter to him. "Ah much much better."

I lay in the nape of his neck and think about what's to come in the future with us but then again I do not want to even think about it. I just want to enjoy this moment with us together in each other's arms, listening  to his heart beating beneath his chest as it rises and falls with each breath. This is the moment I've waited for.