Disclaimer: I do not, nor ever will own Merlin!

Warning: Angsty, like the majority of my writing. Seriously, Merlin = Angst.

Hello! Thanks to Angentcarter075, I now have my first request! Thank you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! With that settled, this one-shot will be from a quote, "the person who tried to keep everyone happy often feels the loneliest." I believe this fits Merlin very well since he makes everyone in the kingdom happy carrying that big bright smile of his, yet at the same time, he hasn't truly smiled in a long, long time. This is also probably going to be a reveal fic. Anyways, I hope you enjoy! (If I already didn't screw this up. 🙃) 

P.S. - I've watched the Agent Carter series and loved it, so good choice on the name!

Everyone in Camalot knew the king's servant. They new his smile, his quirkiness, his pure heart, and the unusual but humorous friendship with the king himself.  They knew how, even with all of his work to be done for both the king and the court physician, he would still stop to help a citizen, no matter their ranks.

His smile was the most famous, though. It was contagious. He smiled at everyone, only giving them the option to smile back. Often, you could find him running through the castle halls laughing away with an angry, but not really angry, king on his tail. Everyone in the land loved him, which is why they were growing more and more worried.

For you see, the Merlin everyone loved has been slipping away quietly, growing more and more distant with fewer and fewer smiles. He was becoming a shell of the man that he once was. At first, they had thought he'd just matured but was still quirky. But he kept closing himself off more and more. Everyone was worried. Citizens gossiped about his depressed state while servants and guards watched him fade away with silent eyes. No one would dare voice their concerns to the king, because a) Why would a citizen go up to a king about a servant's mental health, regardless of their relations, and b) The king would wave it saying that there was nothing wrong with his manservant. So they went to the knights closest to him, as well as their queen.

But, even with the knights and queen aware, no one knew how to bring back their Merlin. And the clock was ticking, for soon, there won't even be the shell to look at.

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"Is he doing it again?" Gwen asked as Arthur came back into their room.

Arthur sighed and sat on the bed with her as he answered, "Yes, he is. It's become a habit now, and I'm starting to think that he isn't getting sleep at all anymore."

Gwen and Arthur have been spying on Merlin for a while now, ever since he started taking late-night strolls. At first, they didn't think much of it, but then he would enter their rooms in the morning looking as if he'd never gotten any sleep. One morning, he came in with dark bags under his eyes and what almost looked like tear stains on his cheek. When they questioned him about it, he simply threw on a smile and weaved around the question by antagonizing Arthur. They didn't even realize that he never answered until after he'd left. Recently, Merlin's strolls always ended up going to the highest tower in the castle, and won't leave until hours later.

"You should go and talk to him," she said softly. She was worried, she has been ever since the citizens started voicing their concerns a few months ago. She had noticed it too but brushed it off thinking that her best friend would return with his priceless smile soon. Oh, how wrong she was. As she tried racking her brain as for any reason why Merlin was liked this, she only drew blanks. She cursed at herself for being so naive. She should have noticed this change first. Merlin was her best friend! They used to be so close.......what happened? When had they become more queen and servant than friends? She swore to herself that she would still be Guinevere when she became queen, never changing or forgetting her friends. Yet that's exactly what she did. She forgot him. And now she's paying the consequence.

"Come with me." Arthur snapped her out of her inner turmoil.

"What?"

"Come with me, please." Arthur never said please, not even to her. She could see the battle raging in his head, much similar to hers. She smiled sadly.

"Okay. I will."

Arthur stood by the door as she quickly changed, and then they left for the highest tower.

As they approached the tower, Arthur and Guinevere quieted their steps. It was almost as if they were trying to gain the trust of a wounded animal. Wanting to help it, but not wanting to spook it to where it'll run away. Arthur slowly opened the door and froze. In the small room, Merlin was sitting on the window seel, leaning against it while his feet were swaying outside. 

Arthur spoke softly, as he didn't want to spook him. "Merlin? What are you doing?"

Merlin turned to face him, and Arthur felt numb. His closest friend, the one who he could always turn to, had tears rolling down his eyes, yet his eyes were both vacant and overpowering with emotions. Arthur didn't know how to describe it, but it was as if Merlin was so overpowered by emotions that he couldn't feel anymore, but they're still there. 

"Just......gazing, I guess. I'm not sure anymore." Merlin leaned dangerously far forward, almost tipping over the tower's window ledge. Gwen gasped, but Merlin pulled back the last minute.

Gwen  steadied her breathing, before asking: "Merlin, what's wrong?"

Merlin was still in a daze, so he replied rather dumbly, "Wrong? What makes you think that?"

"You're...crying."

Merlin slowly raised his hand and brushed his cheek. He looked at the tears,  and merely said "Oh."

"Merlin," Gwen tried again, "what's wrong?"

Merlin looked back out at the stars and stared for a long time. Gwen thought she was going to have to repeat the question until Merlin finally answered.

"I'm just...tired."

"Tired?" Arthur questioned. "Tired how?"

"Have you ever heard the saying, 'the person who tried to keep everyone happy often feels the loneliest?' Well, it's certainly true. Everybody's happy, yet every day I'm fading more and more, and soon..."

Merlin scoffed and turned to face Arthur and Guinevere. "I won't even be a faded shadow that follows you around."

This comment terrified Arthur. What did this mean? Was Merlin sick? Dying? 'No,' Arthur thought, 'No, this is something more. Merlin would act differently if he was sick. This is...this is different.' A horrid thought stuck Arthur.

"Merlin, you-you're not planning on jumping, are you?"

Merlin laughed coldly and replied, "Don't worry, not even the fates will let me free. Trust me, I've already tried."

Arthur glanced at Gwen, who probably wore an expression that was mirrored or even worse than his.

"Merlin," she whispered, "What do mean that you've 'already tried?' "

Merlin sighed and faced them, still sitting on the window.

 "I'm too tired of my lies. I've lied to you - both of you - for as long as I've known you. I've lied to everyone, every day. Anybody who found out the truth, they all ended up dying, one way or another-except for mamma and Guias..."

"Do you want to tell us now?"

Merlin stared at Gwen for a long while, before finally glancing down and nodded.

"Before I start, I know how you guys will think of me, but...just-just listen to me, please. I need to get this out."

Gwen and Arthur nodded, for they wanted to hear what their friend had to say so they could understand.

"When Uther started the Purge to wipe out all magic, he slaughtered millions of innocents over his own mistake, but he was so blind from his grief that he didn't realize the damage he was causing. You see, the very Earth is magic, and if you wipe out magic, the Earth starts to die. Uther went so far in his slaughters that the Earth started dying. Droughts were occurring, diseases were spreading, animals and plants were dying. So, in order to restore the balance, magic chose a baby that wasn't born yet. That baby was born with magic, destined to be more powerful than any before and after it."

Merlin looked straight into Arthur's eyes before continuing. "That baby was me. My destiny was chosen thousands of years before we were even born. Ironic, isn't it? To be born with magic only to be hired for the very same family that hunts us down."

Merlin opened his palm and a strawberry appeared. His eyes glowed gold, yet no words were spoken. 

The monarchs gasped. Arthur didn't know how to respond. So many emotions were flowing through him faster than storm winds. Gwen however, only thought one thing.

"It's beautiful, Merlin."

"It took me so long to create a strawberry. I can create so many things, but foods are tricky. Once, someone I cared for deeply asked for a strawberry, but when I tried, a rose came out instead. I still think she liked it though."

Arthur stared at Merlin and realized that, even though Merlin had magic, he couldn't be evil. Merlin and evil just didn't mix.

"I accept your magic, Merlin," Arthur said. "I just...come down with us, and you can tell us everything. I want to understand. It hurts, yes, that you've kept this from me, but I see why."

Gwen squeezed her husband's hand and nodded to Merlin. "Yes, I would love to hear your stories as well.

Merlin was shell-shocked for a moment, but then slowly got down.

"Are you serious?"

"As serious as a king can be," Arthur said as he snaked his arm over Merlin's shoulder, in case he decided to run away.

A tear ran down Merlin's face. "Maybe, just for once, I could be happy for myself too."

As they walked down to the royal bedrooms, Arthur glanced at Merlin. His eyes still displayed many emotions, many still being that of deep sadness, but there was also hope. Arthur hoped too, hoped that he could save his brother from this depression that's strangling him. As Arthur looked away, Merlin started to truly think that things may be alright. When he realized this, he couldn't help but have a ghost of a smile crawl up his face.

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Well, I SCREWED this up! I don't know where I went wrong, but definitely somewhere. Please forgive me..................... If you did enjoy this, then I'm speechless, but thank you. Heck, thanks for reading this in general. It means a lot. If you didn't enjoy this chapter, then leave some constructive criticism so I could possibly make it better. My only pitiful excuse is that this was my first request, but, seriously, it was an EASY one to do, yet this came out. Don't worry, I know what I'm writing next, and hopefully, I won't fail miserably. And it's going to be a musical one! I'm......better at those.....I think. Anyways, I hope you have a lovely day, so peace out!