.....I just tried to kill myself guys........and I can't even remember why I was going to......

(21:11 AKST)

I always tell you guys that suicide isn't the answer, Well maybe it's about time I listen to myself.

This whole year that I've been on wattpad has been an amazing ride for me, there has been the occasional ups and downs, but I can't change that. But what I can change is my outlook on life.

I never want to think that someone killed themselves here, and I could have been there for them. I truly don't!

But when it comes down to the point that I'm putting all of the pain and suffering that all of you guys have to go though, I shut down, I cry, and I become unable to function.

I worry about all of you guys. All 708 of you, and growing! Every single one of you  matter to me to the point that I worry if your going to make it through the next day or so. and it hurts.

Now I know that there are things that I have to change, but know this. If I tell you that you matter, your beautiful, you are loved, or anything else, I mean it. And I will push that until you believe it.

But again I know that I have to better myself as it is, so thank you for being there for me and staying.