Minho's eyes fluttered open, getting greeted by the bright light of the apartment. He groaned silently while reaching out to rub his tired eyes. Minho's back hurt badly, as if he had been sleeping in a weird position all night. The boy stretched out his back, earning a few pops from his spine.

Minho looked around, noticing how Felix and Changbin were sleeping on the couch next to himself and the smaller person in his arms. Minho furrowed his eyebrows as he tried to understand who the mop of hair on his chest belonged to.

Jisung let out a small whine and shuffled around a bit I'm his sleep, finally giving Minho a clear view of his face. Minho smiled while running his fingers through Jisung's locks.

Minho studied Jisung while he was sleeping before slowly sneaking out of the younger's arms. Minho's eyes landed on the mess that was his apartment. He sighed, remembering how he had lashed out last night.

The boy was quick to start his day by cleaning it all up. Minho threw out everything he had broken and placed the things that survived back in their place.

After about an hour the apartment looked good again, apart from the slight emptiness caused by the numerous items he had to throw out. The rest of the guys were sound asleep on the couch still.

Minho decided that he should do something to make up for his actions. He quickly grabbed his phone and wallet and ran off to the convenience store down the street.

×××

Woojin slowly made his way into the main room, still rubbing the tiredness out of his eyes. Chan was walking behind Woojin, tiredly wrapping the elder in a back hug. The pair slowly walked over to the couch, preparing to see Minho still in his catatonic state.

What they didn't expect to see was Jisung laying alone on the couch, holding onto a pillow. Woojin quickly looked around, trying to spot the boy. He suddenly noticed how the whole apartment had been cleaned up. There was no sign of Minho or the mess he had made last night anywhere.

"WHERE THE FUCK IS MINHO?" Woojin screamed out while looking around in worry.

Jisung, Felix and Changbin quickly shot up from the couch, while Seungmin and Hyunjin came running out of Hyunjin's room. They all looked around in surprise, not quite understanding why Woojin was shouting, or why the apartment suddenly was clean.

"What happened?" Felix asked while looking around in confusion.

"WHY IS THE APARTMENT CLEAN, AND WHERE THE FUCK IS MINHO?" Woojin strictly said in a raised voice.

The front door opened, catching everyone's attention. Everyone ran out towards the enterance of the apartment, seeing Minho with a bag in his hand. The latter was taking off his shoes, acting like nothing had happened.

"MINHO!" Jisung shouted out, quickly embracing Minho In a bone crushing hug.

Minho hugged Jisung back despite his confused expression. Jisung held Minho tightly, refusing to let him go. The elder handed the bag to Felix while he slowly led Jisung into the main room.

Felix went to the kitchen to unpack the groceries Minho had bought while the others followed Minho and Jisung to the couch.

The 7 boys sat down, Jisung still holding tightly onto Minho's figure. Minho looked at them all, seeing their confused eyes eyeing him up and down.

"What's up, why are y'all looking at me like that?" Minho asked.

"What the hell, don't you remember what you did last night?" Woojin questioned.

Minho though through last night's events once before shrugging his shoulders.

"Kinda?" Minho answered with raised eyebrows.

"Tell us what you remember." Chan demanded.

Minho chuckled awkwardly and embarassedly, recalling the things he did the night prior.

"Well....."

⚠️TRIGGER WARNING⚠️
[I was told to put a warning here, cuz people were grossed out, so if self harm triggers you, don't read?]

Flashback

Minho softly placed his phone down onto the kitchen counter. His surroundings were eerily silent. The boy let out a trembling breath of air, quickly covering his mouth with his hand.

Minho's breath quickly sped up. He started pacing back and forth the main room of his shared apartment, trying to gain control over his breathing and tears.

'Why do you always screw things up? You can't even go 2 weeks before you lose everyone who might be interested in a relationship with you. You're such a fucking screw up, Lee Minho.'

Minho covered his ears in an attempt to block the voice out. Little did he know that blocking his ears only trapped the voice inside of his head. The voice grew louder. More hurtful. It physically hurt.

'NO ONE WILL EVER LOVE YOU. YOU RUIN EVERYTHING! EVERY SINGLE FUCKING CHANCE OF HAPPINESS YOU MIGHT GET, YOU RUIN. JISUNG WILL NEVER LOVE YOU, JUST GIVE UP. YOU RUINED IT ALREADY'

Minho aimlessly walked up to a wall, looking at the pictures of him and his friends. They didn't love him. They couldn't love him. Minho was a fucking screw up. No one loved him.

Minho's hands ripped the pictures off of the wall while the tears clogged his vision. He continued ruining everything he came across. Everything that tied him to his room mates. Everything that belonged to himself. Everything he shared with his room mates.

Once the main room was practically destroyed, looking like a hurricane hit it, Minho moved over to his own room. He ripped out every piece of clothing his friends had given him. Every single little thing belonging to them. Everything he had ever borrowed from someone and never given back.

Minho was standing in the middle of the main room, looking at the damage he had done to his own home. It wasn't enough. It wasn't enough to stop the pain.

'Of course it isn't enough. It's you. You're the problem. You're the reason why no one loves you. You should ruin yourself, not others.'

Minho slowly raised both his hands, looking at them. It was him. He was the problem. And problems were made to be destroyed, right?

Minho brought his hand up to his neck, slowly digging his nails into his skin. He dragged his fingers down, opening his skin with his hands.

He wasn't satisfied yet. Minho threw his shirt over his head and threw it somewhere. He started clawing at his stomach, back, legs and arms, wanting himself to disappear. The blood was flowing out of his wounds, slowly rolling down his body.

It still wasn't enough. Minho's body was red, and his nails were covered in blood. His own skin was stuck in big chunks under his fingernails, yet it wasn't enough. He needed to disappear.

Minho ran over to the balcony, stepping into the cold breeze. Disappear. That's all he needed. To disappear. To get destroyed. Minho bent over the fence, looking down. He gulped at the height , and took a step back.

'Just do it. Why are you so scared? DO. IT!'

Minho started leaning over the edge again, but stopped once he saw how far away the ground was.

Minho screamed in frustration. He tugged on his hair, making a mess out of it, but it didn't matter. Minho curled into a ball, hiding away in his knees as he cried loudly. Why couldn't he just disappear? Why was it so difficult?