I cut my hand, the first time i did, i couldn't cause i was scared. May be the intention of suicide always haunts me, so try and try again, i want to harm-myself as much i want to live, that's reason why i still alive until now?

Tell me, what are you guys waiting for? -A dead of the foor girl or a little girl fighting for her live.

That feeling call me day by day, even i sleep or do every things, it beat me when i hopeless, in painful, anger, disappointed. The second times, i used ice on my hand, where i want to cut, i was trembling very strongly. Blood spilled over there, at that time, all rest was extreme excitement, i never felt before, that time, i just had only myself, alone.

I hope that someone will know the hell i have built until now, anyone but ridiculuos that i didn't tell anything, how could they help? Don't worry, i wiped my own tears away so i could save myself.

Finally, i sick, i'm dying in my thinking, i need help and also do not.

"sweetie, why are you in there too long?"

 "Mom, i'm fine

                                 just a little bit, may be."