Me when my case manager told me today that she had to keep reminding me to put on a smile.

Me wanting to ask my demons to leave me alone but I know I won't be able to ever do it.

Me when my demons are coming at me and I so badly wanna tell them to mock it off but know they wont.

This is so random. But, the hat you see before he lands on you.

Me when I see my favorite person.

M

e when I turn around and actually see my demons and don't expect to because I normally get see them.

My case manager at camp yapping at me cause I'm not being happy and bright and me as branch trying to fight it but her voice is in my ear making me worse so I just sit there like "😒😒😒"

This was legit me this morning. It was like talking to my demons for fuck sake!!! It was like poppy was all like "well, it seams to me that I have to tell you...you need to be smiling" like girl....you said you know it was hard...what the fuck you want from me....im trying my fucking hardest!!!! You being up my neck and watching me like a fucking hawk makes me feel helpless. And.....I already got damn fucking demons doing that....I don't need a human...thank you very much. My mental health went down because of her...she's nice....but she can be (rough) ik she's trying help me...but I can do it with guidance but less eying me down.

Yesterday she was telling me what to do with the kids and I did remember but I hated her there....I was with a little girl and she kept asking me if I was okay and I got fucking scared and and...and I forced a smile and I lied.....I got scared....I didn't wanna be scolded......she to me is a light nightmare.... I had a nightmare of her when I had that migrane............ She was.........................touching me.....and I woke to my demon in my face! Not fucking kidding.

Sorry I had to get it out.....ever since my demons got stronger......my dreams of adults chasing me....dont ask.....and being watched and asked so much....came into reality... Adults chasing me....none of that.

I feel like I'm living a nightmare....... And there's no escape......I'm having a hard time breathing currently idk why.......

Anyways

Love you~

Adios