"A casual stroll through the lunatic asylum shows that faith does not prove anything."

— Friedrich Nietzsche

/ / e v e l y n / /

"Are you seriously going to give that guy a candy bar?" Joe asks as he sits down at the kitchen table with me. 

A king sized chocolate bar sits on the table before me and my eyes never leave it. After Joe picked me up from the coffee shop, we went to the store around the corner from the apartment and I picked the candy bar up for Louis. I told him I'd get it for him and I wouldn't lie to him. Not now, anyway. I've only worked with him for a day. I have to gain his trust and lying to him will only make him be afraid of me. 

I nod, "I sure am."

Joe's eyes stay focused on the candy bar and he licks his dry lips. I knit my eyebrows together and watch him cautiously. He was with me when we went to the store. If he wanted a candy bar so badly, he could have bought one for himself. I rub the side of my neck and exhale slowly. I know Joe well enough to know he won't pay for anything he thinks he doesn't have to. He probably thought I was going to buy him a chocolate bar, too, which I didn't intend on doing.

"Isn't that against the rules or something?" he asks, placing his hands inches away from the candy bar. I move it just in case he tries to grab it and take it away from me for himself. "I thought you weren't allowed to give patients food. Doesn't that make them...snap or expect more from you?"

A mirthless laugh escapes my lips, "I don't know where you heard that but I've never heard of such a thing. And besides, I don't think I'll get in trouble by giving Louis a candy bar. It's just chocolate. I bet he hasn't had anything sweet in a while. Once he sees the chocolate, he might pull himself together and talk to me."

Joe nods as if he understands what I am telling him. I place my elbows on the table and place my chin on top of the palm of my hands. He's no longer looking at the candy bar. His gaze meets mine and he smiles softly. I smile back and he leans forward, kissing me on the forehead. When he pulls back, he crosses his arms across his chest and nods his head in my direction.

"What's this patient like?" he wonders. "You haven't talked about him at all until you wanted me to take you to the store."

I shrug my shoulders, "I don't know what's wrong with him, honestly. I'm actually going to stay up late tonight and do some research."

"Did you not see his file?"

I scratch the back of my neck, "I'm not allowed to look at it until tomorrow."

Joe's eyebrows rise and I continue, "But shouldn't you already know what's wrong with him? You went to school for this, Eve. It should be locked away in your brain somewhere."

"It never hurt anyone to do a little extra research."

"Why? What's wrong with him?"

"He believes someone's in his mind."

"He sounds insane." Joe laughs and I throw him a look. "Oh, shit, my bad."

Blue trots into the kitchen and I cover my face with my hands. Joe knows how I feel about Blue being in the kitchen. It makes me think he'll get into everything and mess the kitchen up. I flinch when Blue barks. When I move my hands away from my face and look at Joe, I notice he's staring down at his dog.

"Are you going to take him out for another walk tonight?" I ask.

Joe shakes his head, "He's already had his walk for the day."

"Dogs are like people, Joe." I hiss. "They go to the bathroom more than once a day. You already confessed to him going in the apartment earlier. Take him outside or else he has to go."

"You're bluffing!"

"I can't take the smell of dog urine in this apartment. Since you won't help with the bills, the least you can do is make sure the apartment stays clean." I say.

"Blue is like family." Joe mutters. "If he goes, I'll die."

"Then I guess I'll have to plan your funeral," I fire back and he frowns. "Get your dog out of the kitchen before I throw Louis' candy bar at him."

"If he eats it, he'll die."

I stand up, "Then you can prevent that from happening, yes?"

Joe opens his mouth to speak but I grab the candy bar and hurry out of the kitchen. It's time for me to take my medication and while Joe's taking care of Blue, I can have a little privacy. I hurry to my bedroom and shut the door behind me. My purse sits on my bed and I put the candy bar in it before grabbing my pill bottle.

Blue barks again and my heart skips a beat. I really wish Joe had a cat instead of a dog. Opening the pill bottle, I pop one into my mouth. I close the bottle and toss it back into my purse. I've tried swallowing my pills dry before and choked. Ever since then, I've had no choice but to swallow them with water.

When I turn on the bathroom light, it flickers on and off three or four times before staying on for good. Soon, I'm going to have to change the light bulb. Turning on the sink, I cup some of the water in my hand. Pouring it in my mouth, I down the pill and shake my head in the process. Sometimes, I wish my mother hadn't married my father. They were both young and didn't know the true meaning of love. After they were married, my mother found out my father was bipolar and she couldn't leave. It was far too late.

She was pregnant with me.

My father tended to get off of his pills like I do. He decided to go to work without taking his pills one day when I was just six years old. He never made it home that night. With him being off of his pills, he couldn't think straight and he hit a vehicle, causing it to hit another. He died instantly—along with three other people—and my mother was forced to raise me alone.

A while after, my mother had me tested to see if I had the same mental illness as my father. When she found out that I did, she left me in the hospital for a month. Doctors were trying to see if they could find a cure—any cure for my mental illness. They ended up giving me a shot each day to help me control myself, not that anything was really wrong with me. I was just a child, how did they expect me to behave? Once my body had gotten used to the medicine, I was ready to go home. Years later, the liquid medicine had turned into a red pill. A month ago, the red pill had evolved into a black one.

What will the black pill evolve into?

I stare at myself in the mirror and run my hands down my cheeks. Most of the time, I wonder why God cursed me with such an awful illness. At times, I cannot think straight but I know it's not time for my medicine. I can't tell if it's because I'm stressed or because of my illness. I glance down at the clothes I wore to work today and lick my lips. It's time for me to change into something more comfortable.

I bite my bottom lip and hurry out of the bathroom. As I walk across the bedroom, I pull my pencil skirt down and begin to unbutton my blouse. My skirt is left behind on the floor and I shrug my blouse off. Once it lands on the floor, I unhook my bra and put on a tank top and some pajama shorts. I pin my hair up out of my face and put my clothes in the dirty clothes bin. I'm exhausted and that means I won't take my shower until morning.

"Evelyn?" Joe knocks on the door and opens it before I even have the chance to answer. He looks me up and down. "Are you going to bed?"

I nod, "I'm going to my bed but I'm not going to sleep. I have research to do, remember?"

He smiles, "I'll change into my pajamas and I can help you with your research."

"No."

"Pardon?"

"You need to take Blue out for another walk. I don't want to wake up and smell his pee all over the apartment. If I do, I'm kicking him out. I wasn't joking."

"Remember that Blue is just a puppy!" Joe's quick to remind me. "He has to learn!"

I pull back the blanket on my bed and get underneath it, "And someone has to teach him how the outside world is his toilet, not the apartment floor. Now, please, would you be a babe and hand me my laptop?"

"Where is it?" he asks.

"Over there on my dresser," I say, pointing to it. Joe nods and walks across the room to get it for me. He puts my laptop under his pit as he walks back to my bed. When he hands it to me, he doesn't bother sitting down. "Thank you, Joe."

"You're welcome. I guess I'll leave you to do your research."

"Blue," I say, hoping he'll remember what I just told him to do.

"I'll take him behind the apartment building to see if he has to go," he explains and hurries out of the room before I can give my reply. I smile as I open my laptop. When the screen turns on, I type in my password and go straight to my internet browser. 

I type in: Different mental illnesses that cause hallucinations.

Links pop up all over the page and I tap my chin as I think of which link to click on. Going with my gut, I click on the first link. If I don't find what I need, I'll just go on to the second link and so on and so forth. The website talks about Schizophrenia and I scroll down on the page to find any useful information. My eyes move back and forth across the screen, digesting every word I see.

Schizophrenia causes people to have a change in their behavior and they tend to have hallucinations that last longer than six months. People with this illness tend to have depression or they are bipolar.

I keep scrolling until I see the words: Delusional Disorder.

"Good boy, Blue!" I hear Joe yell from outside. "Who's a good boy? You're such a good boy!" I roll my eyes and keep my attention on the computer screen.

People who suffer from delusional disorder have a delusion—a false, fixed belief—involving real life situations that could be true, such as being followed, being conspired against, or having a disease. These delusions persist for at least one month.

I place my left cheek on the palm of my left hand. It seems to me that Louis' suffering from delusional disorder; yet, I'm not so sure. It says people who suffer from this disorder suffer from it for at least a month. Louis' been back and forth to the mental institute since he was fifteen years old. There's no way he can have this disorder if this Harry guy's been in his mind for this long.

There isn't anymore useful information on this page and I go back to the page with all of the links. I click on the second link and wait for it to load. A yawn escapes my lips and I slap my cheeks. I can't go to sleep just yet. I want to keep researching. Another yawn escapes and I kick the blanket off of me. My feet carry me down the hallway and I stop at the living room window. As I look out, I see Joe clapping his hands and Blue running around without his leash.

I continue on into the kitchen and stop at my coffee maker. Slowly, I start making some coffee for myself and once I get it started, I turn on the cold sink water and splash some on my face. My hands grab onto the edge of the counter behind me and I push myself upward on my toes as I decide if I want to sit on the counter. I decide to sit on it just to see if it's relaxing. Hugging my knees, I stare ahead at the coffee maker. The water slowly begins to turn brown and it won't be long before my coffee's done.

If I can't find out what illness Louis is suffering from, I don't have to worry. I get to look at his file tomorrow and check it out for myself. I let out a sigh and run a hand down my face to keep myself from yawning again. I most certainly hope he has a simple illness. From the looks of it, though, he probably doesn't. He attacked Niall and Dr. Sanchez. They both have the same scar in the exact same spot. What if I get one?

"Blue!" I hear Joe yell. "Come back this way! No, Blue! Get away from that fence! No, boy! Did you hear me? Get down! Hey—" As I hear the coffee maker making the coffee, the metal fence outside shakes. "E-Eve! Evelyn!" 

I roll my eyes and get off of the counter. I turn the coffee maker off and pour the liquid down the drain. There's no use in me drinking it when I get back. Blue's leash is on the living room floor and I grab it as I make my way back to my bedroom to put on my slippers.

By the time I make it outside, the leash is wrapped around my neck and it dangles at my chest. Joe has two fingers to his mouth and he's whistling like crazy. I cross my arms across my chest and don't mind that I'm touching the leash, "He got away?" Joe nods and keeps whistling. "Why didn't you bring his leash?"

"I wasn't thinking at the time, okay?" Joe snaps. "I thought he would want some freedom to go to the bathroom. I didn't think he would jump over the fence!" He tugs at his hair. "We have to find him, Eve. He's only a puppy. What if...What if a bigger dog attacks him? It'd eat him!"

"All right, all right," I murmur. "I'll help you find the lost puppy."

"Thanks!" he says, planting a kiss right on top of my head. "Look around the apartment complex and I'll check outside of the complex, okay? I'm sure he hasn't gotten that far. His little legs can only go so far, yeah? It's like a small toddler getting lost in the house."

I nod.

"Want the leash?"

"Keep it!" he yells as he jogs off. "I'm almost positive if you find him, you won't want to pick him up!"

He's right about that. I let out a deep breath and start looking around our apartment building. I whistle a few times but I don't get a reply. If anything, I don't want to wake anyone up. I really don't want anyone yelling at me because of Joe's dog.

"Blue?" I whisper and whistle again. "Where are you, boy?" 

Still, no reply. I clap my hands, hoping he will hear it from wherever he is but I don't see him running toward me. In fact, I don't see him at all. If he made it over the fence, he's no longer in the neighborhood. Why would Joe not let me look outside of the neighborhood, as well? I exhale deeply and keep looking. 

Another whistle comes out of my mouth and I continue to clap my hands, "Come on, Blue. You've got to be around here somewhere."

I sigh and tuck a loose strand of hair behind my ear. I have to wake up at five o'clock in the morning and I have no idea how long I will be out here. Hopefully, not long. I hope Blue decides to come back home any minute now. 

"Blue, where the hell are you?" I whisper and start whistling again.

I pass by another apartment building and whistle louder this time. I hear movement from behind the building and a sigh of relief comes out of my mouth. My feet carry me toward the back of the building and all I see are bushes and trees. I swallow hard and whistle again. I hear something moving in one of the bushes.

I clap my hands, "Come on, boy. What are you doing in there? Come on out. Joe misses you."

The movement doesn't stop and I take a step closer to the bush.

"Blue? Is that you?"

My hand reaches for the bush, and something black shoots out. A scream escapes my lips and I stagger back, tripping over something in the process. I fall and land on my back hard. It feels as if the wind has been knocked right out of me. My mouth opens in a silent scream as I see the black figure fly higher into the air. I frown as I realize what the figure is.

A bat.

I let a bat scare the crap out of me. Placing my elbows on the ground beside me, I sit up and watch the bat fly away. It takes me a minute to stand up because I'm afraid there are more bats somewhere. When there's one bat, there are more hiding. There are always more. I wipe the dirt off of my legs and elbows and keep moving. If Joe finds out I stopped looking for Blue because of a bat, he'll be pissed.

"Blue, get your ass out here." I hiss as I walk by another apartment building.

I'm no longer in the mood to play games with a puppy. I fight the urge to just go back inside and finish my research. As much as I want to finish it, Joe's needs come first. I hear a sound behind me and I cover my head just in case it's another bat. The sound I hear soon turns into barking and I look over my shoulder to see a familiar brown puppy running in my direction.

I take the leash away from my neck and when Blue approaches me, I hook the leash up to his collar. His tongue sticks out of his mouth and when he looks up at me, he barks.

"I really don't like you," I say, walking him back in the direction of the apartment.