The conversations were all about the wedding this, the wedding that, excluding me of course. I continued to stare at the fluffy white mat while they're conversation dove deeper into the wedding plan then I realised something. Sooner or later HE is obviously going to demand for sex and an heir is absolutely mandatory for this whole mutual agreement between our parents. When that time comes will I voluntarily give up my body for my family as well? Is this the path I willingly put myself through?

At that very thought my body began to tremble, my hands were clutched together ever so tightly and tears began to form. My weld up tears really wanted to fall but it'll just disgrace my family if I cry all of a sudden. However, somewhere at the back of my mind a voice urged me to cry and finally show my parents I'm not some tool. Something is itching for me to make a scene and ruin my entire family's reputation because they never cared, so why should I?

But the coward me just held every bit of pain in and continued to stare at the white mat. I'm no longer a teen who's supposed to be rebellious nor am I brave enough to represent myself. That dream, that resolve, that goal diminished along with my dreary childhood.

I don't have the strength to fight back, I don't have the support nor encouragement to fight back and I don't have a shred of confidence to even put up a fight. All of it just disappears whenever it has to deal with my parents.

I tried my best to hold in my tears that threaten to fall but those negative thoughts made it all impossible, so it slowly fell down my cheeks. Though the conversation went on for awhile it ceased as my large drops of tears became more abundant.

I truly didn't want everyone's focus to be on me especially my mom and my dad. I didn't want anyone seeing me in such a weak state. I have always put up an obedient and respectful façade with all of them, now all that hard work is crumbling.

In a panic I arose from sofa with face still red and filled with tears. I then examined everyone in the room reactions which was filled with pure shock and I bent my body into a 90 degree angle forming a bow. "Everyone I'm sorry for my disruptance this afternoon, so I will excuse myself to my room." I said loud and clear as if my muffled sobs and silent tears never existed.

I hurriedly walk towards to stairway which wasn't that far from the living room. The shame crept upon me as I made my way to the staircase while everyone's eyes remained on me. This was the first time I've ever done something so disgraceful to my parents and what's worse is that I'm no longer an adolescent but I'm an adult. An adult who's supposed to be responsible yet now i am in a crying mess waiting for all of this to end.