I was stuck in their affairs.

in the process, I was obliged to fuel myself with hopelessness.

I counted days to leave this deploring abyss

because every step of mine was marked as one of my many mistakes.

And now I stay miles away,

I shame myself for contemplating to stay.

And so I say this with a wince

for being torn between choosing a solitary haven and a despondent abyss.

-- To my sister.