Nk_works responded to my question about what women wished men would write about:

"Why do men ghost?"

This is an extremely useful response for men attempting to make their books appealing to women, as it is lament I've heard from many women on wattpad, both in their books and on their message boards.

Fortunately 😺, I have plenty of experience ghosting women, so here are some answers!

Men ghost to avoid uncomfortable conversations about why they don't want to be with you. Here's the truly confusing part- they will ghost both when they care about you, and when they don't. Of course, you won't know which, on account of them being gone.

Here are some reasons I ghosted:

1. The girl wasn't very attractive. She was good enough in the dark while I was lonely and drunk, but not at school the next day.

2. I was embarrassed about how the end of the date went, plus I didn't really feel much connection with her even after making out.

3. Her speech impediment bothered me more than I expected. This was a lovely girl I really liked and had great chemistry with, but I was too immature to get past her condition. Even if I could have thought of what to tell her, I didn't want to hurt her.

4. Work hookups. Sometimes that's all they are. Ladies, know what you're getting into.

5. I found someone else and unexpectedly fell in love. The woman I had been dating no suddenly longer existed to me, even though we were pretty great together. It didn't even occur to me to tell her, and my roommate had to break the news.

6. She lived too far away. This happened four times.

7. I just used her for fun. I have no idea if she cared about the ghosting. She may have been relieved, as I didn't really show her a good time. 🤷🏼‍♂️

8. I knew our eight month relationship was not going to last, but I had no idea how to put my feelings into words, and would not be brave enough to end it if I saw her. I still regret treating her that way and not giving us closure. Here is an excerpt about this, from my Inkitt book Midnight Alice:

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"Uh yeah, Wendy. I broke up with Alice a month ago."

She gave me a rare look of disapproval. "Was it because she found out you fucked her and Tracy the same night?"

"No, not exactly. Alice tricked me into admitting it a few weeks later, and was really hurt, but still wanted to give us another try."

Wendy switched her foot so I could massage the other one. I liked touching her. "That's... I don't understand. Why would Alice do that?"

Squirming, I looked away. "I don't know. It's... complicated."

Alice's emotional needs still mystified me, and trying to explain it to a potential lover caused embarrassment.

She sighed. I think Wendy knew the story was going to get worse, "Then what happened? Ray, did you cheat on her again with Annette? She likes you, and I know you give her rides home."

Annette's sexy young Mexican charms had tempted me, but single mothers made me wary, so I had politely turned down her unambiguous offers when dropping her off. Still, Annette was not the only or greatest fidelity challenge I had faced while still with Alice. I would have eventually failed, and causing her pain was something I never wanted to do again. Given that I had recently indulged in two of those women, staying away from Alice had proved to be the right decision.

"No, Wendy, nothing like that. I just wasn't right for Alice, so I stopped seeing her. I took the whole thing pretty hard, but I know it was for the best."

That doesn't sound too bad. I hope it's enough for Wendy...

"So you had a decent break up? Ray, I'm actually proud of you. What did you say to her?"

My inner age suddenly dropped twelve years, to a sixth grade boy. All women eventually made me feel that way. "Uhh, I said nothing."

"What? You can tell me."

"Wendy, I said nothing."

"C'mon, Ray. We talk about everything, and... ohhhh, my God...'Nothing.' You ghosted Alice. That's awful, Ray. I should have known."

She shook her head in disgust, but it must not have bothered her too much, because she kept her foot in my lap, where I pressed it against my erection.

This visit is definitely different...

I shrugged, "The last time I saw her, Alice said I wasn't very romantic. I didn't know how to respond, so I just said goodbye and left."

Wendy considered me for a minute, "Ray, I think I understand. Sometimes, women want more than a man can give them. You're still a jerk, but I get it. Sort of. Is that how breakups usually go with you?"

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Authors, it should be relatively easy to write a male character ghosting a woman, and explain why to a friend, or as internal dialogue. Feel free to use my examples if you are a decent person who would never ghost a woman. 😺

Let me know how your readers respond.

Thanks Nk_works for the tip.