'save all the people you're supposed to save.' the mountain goats.

season 1, episode 2
Infected

Sept. 19th, 2023

A heavy exhale escaped Samara as her shoulders trembled. Blood splattered on her face and clothes, dripping from the rifle she used as melee. Her ears rang with white noise, unable to comprehend what she had to do. She had to do it.

"Sam." Kieran's voice almost went unheard as Samara flickered in and out of focus. She snapped her head to the girl, peering behind a way at all the bodies. She had never feared humans or been disgusted by their corpses; it was the infected.

Another exhale came out. "Everything's okay."

Kieran took another step.

"Don't." Samara swiftly stepped over a body, signaling for Kieran to stop. As her breath quickened, Kieran looked down at the fungi, still alive, searching for a host. The movement was small as it came to the belief that there were no hosts around.

"Stay there."

They needed to leave before something went wrong. Something always went wrong, and Samara refused to let Kieran be in the front lines of it. She would have to find another way to get to Marlene and the cargo.

"The gasoline," Kieran pointed out. "We kill the fungus before it spreads more, right?"

Samara wasn't shocked that Kieran retained that bit of information. She was her own version of a Firefly—attracted to destruction but only ever wanted to heal. "We need something to ignite it."

Her eyes widened before she trapezed around the pillars and overgrown vines to a case. She opened it from behind, showing Samara the assortment of grenades. Kieran's hands twitched, wanting to get to hold and handle the explosives.

"That'll work—"

Voices from outside traveled inside the decrepit building, unheard by Kieran, who still ogled the display of explosives. "Kieran, hide."

Her head snapped up, focusing on Samara but her eyes were trailed on the door. Kieran didn't hesitate to hide behind the corner, nocking her bow, and waited for what she couldn't hear.

The door busted open then slammed behind two women. One younger, born into a world of pain knowing nothing less or more; one older, lived and remembered both worlds and carried the agony of that. "What the hell are you doing here?"

A gun aimed at Samara's head. In return, she pointed the gun Kieran stole at the unexpected visitor. "Put the gun away, Theresa."

Tess' eyes narrowed, somehow still able to allow her violence to blare through. The girl she held with her other hand reached for something inside her pocket. A weapon. And if there was anything Samara knew, Tess would never leave the QZ alone.

The door opened once again and a man that used to stimulate Samara's nerves, swelling her heart with chemical reactions that one would describe as love. That stimulation still occurred, Samara was just better at hiding it.

"You do this? You find out that we're working with Marlene and you sabotage us?" Tess accused based on their history.

"Put the gun down," Samara repeated. She decided that Joel wasn't someone for her to worry about. His eyes glued onto her, unable to speak or move, unable to be who he was.

A whizz sliced through not only the air, but Tess' right bicep. Just a graze, not enough to leave permanent damage but enough to startle her, letting go of the girl and dropping her aim slightly.

"I'd listen to her, lady, or the next one goes into her head." Kieran nodded to the girl her age that seemed important to the old lady as she stepped from behind the wall with her bow drawn and pointed at her.

When Tess let out a groan, Joel had snapped out of his trance. His gun was in his hand and aimed at Kieran. She noticed him, just as Samara did.

Samara feared what Joel would do to Kieran. For the sake of someone he cared about, he wouldn't care who he had to kill. It was like a switch in his head, he just did what he needed to do. But he was older and well passed his peak. Samara was nearing that and probably would have been in the same case if she stayed in the Boston QZ.

The silence instilled fear in Samara as in the corner of her eye she caught the smirk growing on Kieran's lip.

"Keep pointing that at me and we all die," Kieran threatened, abducting her pinky finger to show the grenade that hung on it. The three unknowns to Kieran, widened their eyes. She was unpredictable, even for Samara. The girl looked at the older woman. The older woman lowered her gun, as did the older man. "Good."

As much as she wanted to, Samara resisted disciplining Kieran for treating their life as if they were disposable.

"You have ten seconds to start explainin' yourself, Joel, or I'll do us both a favor and kill you right now." No one responded. They didn't move an inch. Samara lowered her gun, putting it into her waistband and signaling Kieran to put away her bow and arrows. "Explain what you're doing here."

"You first," Tess said slowly and full of hidden threats.

Knowing it would become a back and forth for explanations, Samara neared carefully around the ex-FEDRA. "Idiot was infected, got the others bit." There was no reason to explain further as the display around them could tell the rest without words.

Joel peered at the body, eyes lifting subtly at the sight of his infected face.

"Recognize him?" Tess questioned.

"FEDRA Officer. Went missing a month ago."

The unknown girl blinked at the body, undisturbed by it. "Shit."

"It was probably a planned attack," Samara theorized once it all made sense. The people sent first had the rare and extremely dangerous because they were the ones skilled to operate them. They were the ones who made the bombs for attacks. They were the ones who killed innocent families simply because they resided in a FEDRA-exclusive sector. Some part of her felt bad. "Kill the ones who killed his family."

"Why are you here?" Tess asked once more, not caring for what theories that no longer mattered.

"Marlene asked for me."

Tess and Joel scoffed for the same reasons or others. Either way, they didn't believe Samara. But one did.

"You're the Black Widow?"

Samara recoiled at the nickname Marlene gave her. "Was. Not anymore." She squinted, trying to understand why Tess and Joel were with the girl. "What's your name, kid?"

"Ellie."

"Samara—" she placed her hand on her chest, then gesturing towards Kieran "—she's Kieran."

Ellie nodded, glancing at Kieran, who stared at her like she was a character from a book come alive. Samara realized this was the first person Kieran met that is her age and wasn't infected. "Marlene said you would get me out west. Can you?"

She was the cargo. Ellie was the cargo. And here Samara thought Marlene would never use the same plan twice. Of course she would. Marlene knew exactly what to do to get what she wanted. Samara cursed Marlene in her head.

"Marlene wouldn't tell anyone the location—" Ellie's shoulders dropped, her disappointment and disbelief spread to the adults "—but, I know people that could help us get you there."

"Bullshit," Tess spat. She stomped towards Samara with a mission. Luckily that mission wasn't to take out her disappointment on Samara. She, instead, headed to the container, searching for answers.

"Sam doesn't lie," Kieran said, glaring at Tess. Her hostility towards Samara made Kieran uneasy. The woman was a ticking-time bomb. Finally the young girl understood why Samara told her to use it to her advantage. It was terrifying to be on the other end of it. Kieran's fingers curled around the wood of her bow. "I'm sure if you yell any louder, these guys will wake right up and tell you what you want."

"I mean, there's gotta be a, a fuckin' radio or somethin', right?"

Joel adjusted his rifle, turning to his partner. "Tess? What're you doin'?"

The frantic woman seemed to have no time for his worries. "Where did Marlene say that she was taking you?" Ellie didn't respond as Tess neared her. "Ellie!"

She shrugged, glancing at Samara and Kieran, who examined Tess. "Uh, I don't know. Just west."

"Just west. Fuck. Okay." The woman a few seconds ago had all but disappeared. She was not a hardened set of bones and muscles tied with skin, she was terrified. "Well, I mean, one of them's gotta have a map on them, right?"

"You would've found it by now, lady."

Once again, Tess ignored Kieran. "Joel, can ya help me?"

"No!"

His voice reverberated through the building, causing Kieran to flinch. His voice was low, yet louder than the alarm in her ears. She had heard voices like his. They resided in her dreams, haunting her days and nights.

"Tess...It's over," he told, stepping towards the woman. "Mar—they're gonna take her and we are going home."

"That's not my fucking home!"

Circumstances be damned, Samara nearly forgot of their history. All she saw was the woman she met in the north after traveling from the south, who matched her wounds. Someone who understood her pain, yet still had the fight in her to keep going. Unlike Samara, Tess' home was forever ruined. The young boy never grew much older, only consumed by the fungi that nested in his brain until it ripped him apart. Her home was locked in a basement, stuck in the body of something it could never return to.

Tess turned to take a breath. She faced Joel, rising to meet his eyes. "I'm stayin'. I mean...our luck had to run out sooner or later." Her eyes remained on Ellie before meeting Samara's. History be damned.

That's when she knew.

"Fuck," Ellie let out slowly. "She's infected."

Tess scoffed. Not because it was an accusation, but because it was the truth. The cold, bitter truth.

"Show me," Joel ordered.

"Joel," Tess said airly, taking a step towards him.

Joel flinched, taking a step backwards.

So she did. Pulling back her hair and jacket to reveal what grew underneath her pale skin.

Kieran forced her eyes away. As did Samara but for a different reason.

"Oops, right?"

Joel and Samara said nothing. What was there to say?

"Take your bandage off," Tess instructed Ellie.

She hesitated at first due to the strangers but ultimately did what she was told to. Ellie revealed, not one, but two bite marks. And neither were close to what Tess' looked like. Ellie was immune.

Samara and Kieran made eye contact. The younger didn't quite understand, but the elder did. Everything clicked.

"Look. Joel?" Tess rolled up Ellie's sleeve to ensure he saw it. "This is real. Joel, she's fucking real." The hand that held Ellie started to tremble. She didn't have much longer.

"I need you two to get her to Bill and Frank's."

"No," both Miller's deflected, not needing to look at the other to know that would never happen.

"They'll help Mara take her off your hands."

"I don't need him or them to protect me, Tess."

Tess stared at her once-best-friend with a solemn smile. "It's not 'bout that."

"No, no, no, I can't. They won't let them go," Joel pointed out, knowing Frank would delve into his lover's violent tendencies if Joel let Samara take two kids across the country. "They're not gonna let it happen."

"They will. They will 'cause you'll convince them."

"Tess, let him go home," Samara said, almost sounding like a plea. "I can handle this."

"It's not about that, Samara."

"Then what?" She asked a little too loud. She lowered her tone when she saw Kieran flinch in the corner of her eye. "'Cause I don't understand."

"You can't do it alone. Not again." Though her words were targeted to Samara, Samara knew they were also meant for Joel. "I, I never ask you for anything—either of you." Tess focused on Joel. "Not to feel the way I felt."

"No."

"Not to—shut the fuck up 'cause I don't have time," Tess groaned, holding back her emotions. "This is your chance. You get them there, you keep them alive, and you set everything right. All the shit we did. Please say yes, Joel, please."

A hungry gasp came from behind the two girls.

"Oh fuck!" Ellie let out, running behind Kieran who went behind Samara.

Samara and Joel simultaneously pulled out their guns and shot the infected. Neither realized the other's actions until after. But it didn't matter. It was done. The hivemind knew.

"Fuck."

Once realization hit, Joel rushed to the entrance to confirm it. The sound of hundreds of infected hurtling towards them filled the open area.

"How many?"

"All of them. Maybe a minute."

Kieran acted first, shoving a container of gasoline onto the floor just as she theorized before. Her eyes met Tess' who nodded, uncapping and tipping over another.

"What're you doing?" Ellie asked, tiptoeing around the liquid.

"Making sure that they don't follow you," Tess answered.

Samara ushered Kieran towards her as gasoline splattered onto the young girl's jeans, and signed, "Run now. I'll be right behind you."

Kieran pulled her chin inward, not trusting Samara's words for a second. Still, she did as she was told.

Tess continued to scatter all the explosives around to ensure her plan wouldn't fail. Once she was satisfied, she stood in front of Joel. "Joel...save who you can save."

All the man could do was accept it. There was no way around this. No amount of words could change Tess' mind. Joel snatched Ellie's arm and dragged her after Kieran. She hit and shouted at him, feeling more guilty about Tess' fate than any of them.

"I didn't mean for—" Tess started, despite knowing she would have no time.

"Were you happy?" Samara asked. The sounds of infected grew louder.

The solemn smile returned with a shake of her head.

"I'm sorry."

Samara sprinted out without another glance. Her heart grew heavy as she heard infected trample in as she escaped. Kieran rushed towards Samara once she came into view, only to be stopped by the explosion behind her. Samara stumbled, but was unharmed. Unlike all of the infected inside.

There were no good endings in this world.

There never was.

It was only a test to see who could get the closest. God watched from above, observing his children in a free-for-all he created with no way of winning.

Her eyes widened and mouth gaped, taking in the scene that almost seemed unreal. The bright flames roared out of the windows, forcing smoke into the atmosphere as screams of pain filled the air. The corners of her mouth curled upwards with the smoke. Kieran finally saw what Samara did. The building was glorious.

Word Count: 2.3k

oh how i love my violent, chaotic children ocs. 

and happy double update! i felt like the lack of updates since chapter 3 deserved a double update. i will say that the next chapter might take some time as i haven't finished it and i'm not sure how it will be published. 

but enough abt that stuff! while i did not like tess and joel's relationship change in the show, i kept it bc it is very important for this story. as you can tell, samara holds no bitter feels about this relationship even though she knows very little of it. i posted abt this on my tiktok, but i know how readers can get and so i ask you guys to not slut-shame tess or joel (unless jokingly) for cheating. 

i hope you guys enjoyed this chapter! i'd love to hear your thoughts, theories, ideas, or literally anything!