"I should salute the way a freaking monarch like you screen your damn blue blood in public."

"What the hell!" Kalish breathed in frustration as he stroked the wrong color of paint on the canvass. Inis na ibinato niya ang hawak na paint brush at easel sa katabing mesa at nanghihinang hinilot ang nananakit na sentido.

The whole third floor of his house was his studio and that was where he spent almost all his time everytime he was there. He was trying to finish his latest piece but he just messed it up thanks to his annoying cousin Onyx who was at the moment messing with him through the large monitor mounted at the wall on his right side.

Bumaba siya sa high stool at inilang hakbang ang kinaroroonan ng refrigerator upang kumuha doon ng bottled water at inilang lagok lamang iyon.

"You sure are drowning yourself, Russet." Onyx remarked. Kalish threw the empty bottle on the trash bin and threw his cousin a sideway glare.

"Shut the hell up, Alcor." Sikmat niya sa pinsan na ikinatawa lamang ng huli. He can hear the voice of his cousin's wife Kali on the background.

"You should learn to call me by my first name now, Russet. Let me remind you that there are two Alcors here now."

He exhaled in exasperation and leaned down on the edge of his antique table made of oak.

"I don't wanna hear it from someone who calls me by my last name." He shot back making the person on the large screen smirked.

"When will you throw your last bachelor's party?" Onyx asked, fully aware of Kalish's engagement in Rome.

I won't invite you, asshole." He muttered coldly but Onyx only chuckled.

"I can't believe you're giving in to such stupid arrangement."

"It's not like I have a choice."

"You suck at lying, bud. I know you have." Onyx said knowingly and Kalish's gaze dropped as he thought of the woman who was at his room right now. She was just a reach away yet he felt like she was further than that.

His every moment with her flashed back his eyes from their bizarre encounter on the woods, and that was the certain moment that a woman wreaked uncertainty to his pessimisms in romatic affairs. It was the very first time that he thought of giving it a try as long as it's the same woman from the woods who kissed him. But he never saw her again after that night and he never felt so empty until he met her again in the Alcor's mansion. But she wasn't for him and his only consolation is that he knew that she would never be for any other man. She was becoming a nun but even now that she thought of stopping her vocation, still, she wasn't for him. He wasn't sure if he was just being fond of her or he was really falling for her. What he was sure about is that being without her pained him. But right now, being with her despite the fact the he shouldn't be pained him even more.

Iniangat ni Kalish ang gwapong mukha upang salubungin ng tingin ang pinsang matamang nakamasid sa kanya. "If our choice doesn't choose us, it's not like we really have a choice, right?"

"Well, it's your choice to choose whether to leave it that way or not." Onyx remarked and he was silent for a moment.

He heaved a deep breath trying to pacify the pricking pain on his chest.

"I guess I chose to leave it her way." He murmured and Onyx chose to stay silent. "Do you still remember when I told you I won't fall for anyone?" He asked as he drifted his gaze to a canvass on a far corner that was covered with white sheet. "I wish I never said that."

...............

Pagkatapos ng pananghalian ay agad na bumalik si Holly sa silid ni Kalish na siyang pansamatalang inookupa niya. Maliban sa dalawang kasambahay na nakabantay sa kanya isama pa ang butler ng binata ay walang Kalish Russet na dumulog sa hapag. Gusto niyang tanungin kung nasaan ito. Natatakot siya sa posibilidad na umalis na ang binata at hinding- hindi na niya ito makikita. Ngunit lagi siyang nauunahan ng hiya. Sa tuwing sinusubukan niyang magsalita'y nilulukob siya ng matinding takot. Pero hindi nga ba at ang binata ang isa sa mga dahilan ng pag- alis niya sa poder ng lolo't lola? Bakit ba niya sinasayang ang mga huling sandaling maaari niya itong makita at makasama?

Nanlulumong naupo siya sa gilid ng kama ng binata. Suot niya ang isang puting t- shirt ni Kalish na nagmistulang oversized t- shirt sa kanya. Nililis niya din lamang ang laylayan ng suot na sweat pants nito dahil masyado itong mahaba para sa kanya. Sa huling pag-uusap nila'y ramdam niya ang biglaang panlalamig ng binata pero masisisi niya ba ito? She had turned him down and she's just lucky that Kalish was gentleman enough to offer his house as her temporary fortress. At sa huli pang pag- uusap nila'y tila lumabas na ayaw niyang makasama ito kaya tinanggihan niya ang offer nitong mag- stay pero ano ba ang gagawin niya kung nagkakagulo na ang katawan at damdamin niya tuwing malapit ang binata?

Frustrated na iniangat niya ang katawan at 'di mapakaling nagpalakad- lakad sa harapan ng kama ng mapansin niya ang nakasabit na abstract painting sa isang sulok ng silid. Nahihiwagaang nilapitan niya ito at matamang tinitigan. At first glance, the painting seemed to be like strokes of white and cream lines so it looked like a canvass only painted with shades of white from afar. But looking at it intently, she could notice a silhouette of a curvaceous woman outlined by delicate lines of dirty white. It was a masterpiece. And she wondered if Kalish was the one who painted it so she stepped closer to read the messy scribble below the image but it was written in foreign characters so she just reached out for it and stoked the scribbles with her long dainty fingers when the wall suddenly moved back so much to her surprise.

She walked through the open wall and several wooden steps welcomed her. Nakatulong ang liwanag mula sa silid ni Kalish upang maaninag niyang patungo sa isang nakasarang puting pintuan ang hagdan. And curiousity got the best of her. She ascended the stair in lightweight steps and carefuly pushed open the wide door.

Her jaw literally dropped open on the sight that welcomed her. There was a mural painting on one side of the wide room and there was a large monitor mounted there. While on the other side was gray textured wall where a large flat screen TV and a sleek sound system were mounted. There were also sofa set and four bowl shaped glass chandeliers were suspended above the center table. On the floor was an expensive Persian carpet. And the half part of the roof was made with fiber glass where some rose vines were creeping. She bet it would be more wonderful there to stay at night to oversee the wide blanket of stars. The whole place smelled like Kalish Russet and it was becoming her favorite scent in the world.

Humakbang siya patungo sa pinakagitna ng maluwang na silid upang lapitan ang tanawing tunay na nakatawag ng kanyang pansin. Kaya pala wala siyang makitang kahit isang painting sa sala maging sa loob ng silid ng binata'y naroon lahat iyon sa silid na kinaroroonan niya.

She was seeing Kalish Russet's pieces of masterpiece with her very eyes and she was awed how the colors and the lines sent warmth and calmness in her. Inisa- isa niyang lapitan ang bawat painting hanggang sa mahinto siya sa isang canvass na natatakpan ng puting tela. At bagaman alam niyang hindi mabuti ang pangingialam niya'y hindi niya mapigilan ang sariling alamin ang nakaguhit sa canvass na iyon. Maingat niyang inalis ang nakatakip na tela at nagsalinbayan ang iba't ibang emosyon sa dibdib niya sa nakita.

Holly moved back as her hand reached for her throbbing chest. It was no denying and definitely no doubt that the subject of the painting was her!

In the portrait, her curls of caramel and light brown were cascading down her shoulders as she looked back and her electric blue eyes were so intense. Even the expression of her face was penetrating. The colors he used were so alive it was as if seeing her other self. It was as if the painter knew her so intimately to paint such image that embodied the deepest emotions she was trying to hide from the rest of the world.

Napaigtad siya ng bigla'y nakarinig ng ingit ng bumukas na pintuan mula sa isang sulok at sa labis niyang panggigilalas ay iniluwa niyon si Kalish na nakatapi lamang ng tuwalya ang ibabang katawan at tumutulo pa ang tubig sa bahagya pang basang katawan. He looked so sexy while drying his raven hair with a separate towel. The droplets of water on his well- chiseled body accentuated his near to tan color and she swallowed as her gaze drifted to his six pack abs. He was not the intimiditaing bulky type. He has this sexy lean body that seemed to be sculpted by the greatest sculptor. And uncomfortable heat assaulted her body as she saw his tattoo with her name laden on it.

Agad niyang sinaway ang tinatakbo ng isipan at iniangat ang tingin sa gwapong mukha ng binata. At nais niya ng matunaw sa labis na hiya dahil huling- huli siya nitong nakatingin sa katawan nito. His intense russet eyes caught hers and she can't avert her gaze despite her discomfort.

Kalish casually threw the towel he used in drying his hair and strode his way towards her the way a model walks on the catwalk, his eyes never left hers. She started fidgeting, taking small steps side by side but can't decide which way to go as Kalish cross the remaining distance between them- with only his towel on!

Sa labis na pagkataranta'y umatras siya ng tuluyang makalapit ang binata kaya't nabundol niya ang painting na nasa kanyang likuran. Bago pa man siya mawalan ng balanse'y nahila na nito ang isa niyang kamay at mabilis na naipulupot ni Kalish ang isa pang kamay sa kanyang baywang. Napapikit siya kasabay ng tunog ng sunod- sunod na pagbagsak ng mga canvass sa sahig at lalo pang pagdikit ng hubad na katawan ng binata sa kanya.

The surrounding quiet down but her heartbeats never calmed down as she felt Kalish's warm naked chest against her body. Walang silbi ang t- shirt na suot niya upang maapula ang init na kapwa sumisingaw sa kanilang katawan.

Slowly, she opened her eyes and his burning eyes bore on hers as she stared up at him. Ngunit bigla'y tila nabuhusan siya ng malamig na tubig ng maalala ang mga canvass na nagsitumbahan dahil sa kanya. Ipinatong niya ang dalawang kamay sa dibdib ng binata upang itulak it palayo ngunit hinapit pa siya nito lalo kaya't lalo pa silang nagdikit.

She hitched her breath as he slightly lifted her up making her tiptoed, their lips almost touching.

"What are you doing?" She murmured, feeling her voice trapped in her throat.

"What do you think?" He whispered and she hitched her breath again as his lips slightly touched hers. How could such slight touch send millions of electric volts to her body?

"Please, don't." Mabuway niyang pakiusap rito dahil kanina pa siya ipinagkakanulo ng sariling katawan na tawirin na ang ga- sinulid na distansyang pagitan ng kanilang mga labi upang muling matikman ang tamis ng halik nito.

"Please don't what?" He asked quietly and Holly bit her lower lip. That's when Kalish lifted his hand up to free her lip with his thumb and Holly swore she was starting to burn. "I miss you..." He whispered and she felt the sides of her eyes sting with threatehing tears.

She swallowed and decided to be honest for a moment. "I... I miss you, too."

"Then, give me one farewell gift." He breathed, his eyes a softer shade of brown now. And she felt her throat parched with the farewell word. The word ripped something inside her chest. Maybe, she could give him this one gift he wanted so she nodded her head.

"Kiss me." He whispered and Holly obliged without any bit of hesitation.

She reached over his lips and she tasted the salty drop of water from her eyes as Kalish deepened the kiss. Sa pagaakalang napipilitan lang siya'y bahagyang humiwalay si Kalish sa kanya ngunit agad niyang hinabol ang mga labi nito at siya ng kusang gumalaw upang mas palalimin pa ang halik.

She must let herself free once in a while. Bukas ay hindi na niya makakasama pa si Kalish... at hindi na muli pang mararamdaman ang mga halik nito.

...............

Holly weakly leaned against the door, her throat burning with controlled tears. Hindi niya kayang panoorin ang pag- alis ni Kalish ngunit wala rin naman siyang lakas ng loob na pigilan ito. Wala pa siyang lakas ng loob. Pero kailan pa siya magkakaroon niyon? Kung tuluyan ng nakaalis ang binata?

She lifted one hand towards her lips. She could still taste Kalish there. She could still feel his warm breath. She tasted a salty drop of tear and her knees shook as pain invaded her system. Just then, she heard a knock on the door.

Mabilis niyang pinunasan ang mga luha at huminga ng malalim bago binuksan ang pintuan ng silid ni Kalish na siyang inookupa niya. Tumigil ang kanyang paghinga ng mapagbuksan si Kalish. He looked so high and mighty in his white long- sleeved button down tacked in black linen pants. Mas pinatingkad pa ng seryosong ekspresyon nito ang gwapong mukha at ang kakatwa'y lalo pa siyang nangulila rito ngayong nasa harapan na niya ito. Mabilis niyang ikinuyom ang mga kamay sa takot na bigla na lamang niya itong abutin at yakapin.

"Your grandmother is looking for you." Wala ng pasakalye pang anito na labis niyang ikinagulat.

"A- Alam niyang narito ako?" Napuno ng takot ang kanyang dibdib.

"She's at the Alcor's mansion." He replied impassively and she swallowed the burning lump in her throat. Muling pumatak ang kanyang mga luha sa pinaghalong takot sa abuela at sakit sa nararamdamang panlalamig muli ni Kalish idagdag pang paalis na ito sa bansa.

"H- Hindi pa ako handang harapin si lola..." Nasabi niya sa kabila ng panginginig ng mga labi.

"Come with me." Kalish offered making Holly stunned.

At lalo pa siyang nanigas sa kinatatayuan ng tinawid ng binata ang distansiyang nakapagitan sa kanila upang yakapin siya.

"K- Kalish..."

"Actually that's just a part of my excuse." Bulong ng binata at napakapit ang nanginginig niyang mga kamay sa polo nito. "Hindi pa ako handang umalis pero hindi na ako maaari pang manatili dito. So come with me, Holly. Let me be with you and I'll take this remaining moment as another farewell gift from you."

She nodded against his chest and she felt him kissed the top of her head.

Hindi nga nagbibiro si Kalish sa sinabing nasa mansyon ng mga Alcor ang lola niya dahil paglabas ng kotseng kinalululanan nila ng binata'y nakita niyang nakasunod sa kanila ang kotse ng abuela. Kahit pa heavily tinted ang sasakyan ng binata'y hindi niya pa rin maiwasang mangamba na maaari siyang makita ng lola doon at tuluyan ng iuwi sa Pampanga. Nais niya pang makasama si Kalish sa kaunting sandaling natitira.

Nagulat siya ng hawakan ni Kalish ang kanyang kamay at pisilin iyon. Wari'y nararamdaman ng binata ang tensyong lumulukob sa kanya dahil hinila siya nito palapit at isinandal siya sa matipunong dibdib nito. Hindi na niya pinigilan pa ang sarili. Kumapit siya sa polo ng binata at ipinikit ang mga mata. And that was the most peaceful yet most painful moment of her life.

Hindi nagtagal ay narating nila ang Alpha Columna International kung saan naghihintay sa helipad ng gusali ang pribadong chopper na maghahatid kay Kalish sa Roma. Magkahawak kamay sila ni Kalish na pumasok sa loob ng gusali hanggang sa makasakay sila sa private elevator patungong rooftop. Ang butler at dalawa pang body guards nito'y ginamit ang public elevator na tila ba'y ibinibigay sa kanila ang huling pagkakataong iyon upang magkasama.

Pakiramdam ni Holly ay nalalagot ang kanyang paghinga habang papalapit sila sa rooftop. Wala sa sariling napahigpit ang kapit niya sa kamay ng binata ngunit nanatiling diretso lamang ang tingin ni Kalish na tila ba'y hindi naramdaman ang tensyon niya sa nalalapit na paghihiwalay nila. Kung maaari lamang sana'y bigla na lang huminto ang elevator upang magtagal pa sila doon. Mamaya... bukas... at sa mga susunod pang sandali ng kanyang buhay ay hindi na niya makakasama pa si Kalish Russet. At hindi niya alam kung paano niya paniniwalain ang sariling hindi nag- exist sa buhay niya ang binata.

Ganoon na lamang ang gulat niya ng bigla'y bumitaw si Kalish sa pagkakahawak sa kanya at kasunod niyon ang pagbukas ng elevator at tumambad sa kanila ang dalawang bodyguards nito. Humarap sa kanya ang binata at bakas sa mga mata nito ang pamamaalam.

"I think this is where we shall part." He breathed, in his lips a ghost of wistful smile. He lifted his right hand as if reaching out for her face but he hesitated and it fell on his side.

Holly never hid her tears. Just as she found courage to reach him, Kalish looked away and stepped out the elevator at the same time the two guards stepped in. Her heartbeats banged agaist her chest as she watched Kalish walked away through the narrowing space of the closing doors of the elevator.

She never felt such kind of pain. Not even when his grandfather told her that she would never be different from her late mother. Not even the kind of pain she felt when her grandmother locked her up her room. The pain was at a different level. And she wouldn't feel this pain without any valid reason.

Humakbang siya upang pigilan ang tuluyang pagsara ng pintuan ngunit nahuli siya. Mabilis niyang pinindot ang numero ng kasunod na floor sa ibaba ng rooftop sa labis na pagtataka ng dalawang guards na kasama. Nang bumukas ang pintuan ng elevator ay mabilis siyang lumabas at hinanap ang kinaroroonan ng hagdan. Hindi na niya pinansin pa ang pagsunod sa kanya ng dalawang gwardya.

She was running for her life. As if the moment was a matter of life and death. Nagmamadaling pumanhik siya sa hagdan at kung maaari lamang niyang hilain pabalik ang oras ay kanina niya pa iyon ginawa. Bakit ba ngayon lang siya nagka- lakas ng loob? Bakit hinayaan niyang palagi siyang pangunahan ng kaduwagan niya? Ngayon ay maaari niyang pagsisihan ng habang- buhay ang ginawang pagbitiw sa binata.

Buong lakas niyang itinulak pabukas ang pintuan patungong rooftop at sumalubong sa kanya ang ingay na dala ng chopper. Nasa loob na ang binata at isinasara na ng butler nito ang pintuan.

You wouldn't realize the value of someone until they're gone. And she realized she was indeed in love. And she wouldn't let him go now. She would never let him go. Hindi na ulit.

Ginamit niya ang natitirang lakas upang takbuhin ang ilang metrong distansiya niya sa chopper habang isinisigaw ang pangalan ng binata na nilalamon lamang ng malakas na tunog na nililikha ng chopper. At ng tuluyan siyang makalapit ay halos anim na metro na ang taas ng chopper mula sa helipad.

"Kalish!" She called in between tears, her voice drowned by the sound of the ascending chopper. "Kalish, 'wag kang umalis!" She called again hopelessly. "'Wag mo 'kong iwan..." She called weakly and she felt her knees woobled as she dropped her weight on the cold floor.

Ngunit gayon na lamang ang gulat niya ng bigla'y swabeng lumapag sa sahig ng helipad ang dalawang paang iyon na alam na alam niya kung sinong nagmamay- ari. Mabilis niyang iniangat ang tingin at sinalubong siya ng pares ng kayumangging mga matang lalo pang lumamlam dahil sa liwanag na mula sa buwan. The chopper was still hovering over them and she could see the rope Kalish used to rappel down.

"You should have said that sooner, cuore mio." Kalish said as he kneel one knee down to level her. Overwhelmed, she couldn't grasp any word to say. She stayed still as she stared at his handsome face, her erratic heartbeats ruled over the loud sound from the hovering chopper. "Please don't tell me I was just dreaming. Say something, Holly." He asked in a desperate pleading tone waking Holly from her trances.

She promised herself just now that he wouldn't let him go. Now was her chance. She knelt down to support her weight and threw herself to Kalish who perfectly caught her in his arms.

"Don't leave. Please stay... stay with me, Kalish." She pleaded not caring if she sounded desperate, clutching onto his shirt as if he would fade away if she let go.

"I wouldn't leave without you, Holly. Not anymore."