Chapter 5

We don't own Hetalia. Hey Ginto here I apologize deeply for making you guys wait! This is all my fault and in no way England's I'm so sorry and we are happy to give you the new chapter. We hope y'all enjoy!

Italy's POV:

Seeing England lean on my shoulder like this somehow brought me relief, calmness if you would call it. I wonder why I felt like this with him, usually when I was with anyone else my heart would always be beating fast. The reason being my fear of being a bother to others, I've always been afraid of being tossed to the side because of how other people find me annoying. But with England here I felt like I could finally relax for the first time in my long life. Was that strange? The only person to bring me relief was a person that has lost their memories, it's kinda funny if you think about it. I really most be broken after all, if the only thing to make me feel any type of calmness is something as incomplete as me.

Why must I fall in love with someone that doesn't even really like me when he has his memories? England has never really cared for me before, and I just can feel dread every time I think of how he will react to this when he regains his memories. That look of betrayal and disgust. I look over at England noticing that he has fallen asleep, smiling sadly I brush his bangs out of his face. I just wish this moment could last. I don't want to lose another person I love, and that's exactly what's going to happen when he regains everything. But...that's awful for me to think, what right do I have to wish for this person's memories to never come back? That was by no means my right, especially since I am the one in the wrong.

It's not that I am just tricking England with false words, I really do love him. He's the first person in a long time that has taken his time to talk to me and actually seem like he enjoys it. I mean sure people like talking to me at first, but after a while they try to make an excuse to leave. I don't take it personally it's just that's how it is. I'm annoying, too happy (apparently that's a real thing, who would've thought), and cowardly. I understand how that could get tiring, but sometimes I wonder if they know how much that really hurts me. It causes me to have thoughts like this, and get rapped up in my flaws. I just need to stop overthinking things, but I can't help but feel as though I am doing something wrong.

I don't want England to hate me when he get's his memories back, because the more time I spend with him the more I feel myself falling in love with him. I wish things weren't this complicated and I could just love England without feeling this awful guilt. Even though I wasn't tricking him, I feel as though I am taking advantage of him and that makes me feel horrible. England starts to stir as I notice that I was unconsciously brushing through his hair with my fingers. I start to panic, I hadn't got all of my thoughts together yet. I need a little more time to think things through, as I think this I start singing an Italian lullaby I used to listen to when I was just starting out as a country. I could go into my citizens minds and see what they were currently seeing. I didn't do it often, because it felt like a breach of privacy. But when I did it I would always look though an infants eyes, and see the mother singing them the peaceful song.

I didn't have a mother so sometimes it was nice to listen to that kind of stuff, the way it would bring ease to me and comfort. England starts to breath easily again and I find myself smiling at him happily. He may never forgive me for this, but I will never regret being able to love a wonderful country like him. Even if it's a tragedy waiting to happen I'm glad to be able to help him through this and be close to him like this. I wouldn't wait to show my feelings like I did with Holy Rome, this time I would not make the same mistake. Lying down on the bed with a content smiles I say to England's sleeping form,

"Goodnight England sweet dreams."

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