**I'm back**

S: Natasha...

Steve didn't answer immediately, so Natasha got more nervous, she frowned.

N: Where are they, Steve? What happened??

S: Cho will explain to you better, she told me that they were born premature and they are very fragile.

N: What does that mean?

Steve sighed and made negative with his head, he didn't know how to talk to Natasha about the twins, but he can't lie.

S: It means they're... struggling to survive.

Natasha looked forward and her lips trembled, she couldn't believe it. All she wants right now is to keep her babies closeto her because no one was trustworthy enough to be with them.

Natasha felt like the air was missing for her to breathe, she couldn't stop shaking.

N: Are they going to die?

S: I... I don't know. I'm praying that they won't.

N: Oh God...

Natasha sighed and her were filled with tears. Steve sat on her bed and took her hand.

N: Steve...

Natasha looked into his eyes.

N: I want to see them.

S: Cho said they're in ICU. We can't stay with them.

N: No... I....

Natasha was having hard time to speak properly, she wanted to cry desperately, but her brain is trying to reason.

N: I... I need to seem them. Please...

S: I'm sorry...

- You both can see them now, but you can't be there for long.

Cho said as she entered the room and listened to the conversation between Steve and Natasha.

Steve got up when he heard Cho's voice.

S: Any improvement?

Cho: I can't call that an improvement, but... we're keeping them stable enough.

N: I want to see them now.

Cho: You will. I just need to check your stitches first.

N: No, I'm fine, take me to them.

Cho: Steve, you need to take a shower first. I brought these special clothes for you to wear.

Steve nodded and walked into the bathroom of Natasha's bedroom, he showered and put on the protective clothing. Cho helped Natasha to dress her special clothes.

Steve came out of the bathroom and looked at Natasha, then at Dr. Cho.

S: Can she walk? Wouldn't the wheelchair be better?

Cho: Yes, she can and she must walk. Let's go.

Steve took Natasha's hand to help her get up, then the two followed Cho to the ICU. There was an anteroom where Cho handed over hair caps and gloves to Steve and Natasha. The two put on and became much more nervous with all this procedure.

Cho opened the door and there were a lot of incubators in the room, but Natasha recognized from a distance her babies and went straight to them, Steve followed her.

Natasha looked at the two of them, each in an incubator, it looked like they were locked in a cage and that broke Natasha and Steve's heart.

Natasha put her hand on her face and she couldn't contain her tears anymore, she started to cry and had to cover her mouth to not be so loud. Steve was right behind her and he put a hand on Natasha's shoulder, which caused Natasha to turn to him, hug his waist tight and burry her face in Steve's chest.

N: Why is this happening? Is it my fault? Is it my fault?

S: No, Natasha.

N: It's my fault! I didn't want them. It's my fault!

Natasha cried desperately.

Cho: Natasha, I need you to calm down, okay? They were born early, it's no one's fault. Listen... the babies can feel the tension of you and Steveand we have another babies in here, so try to be as calm as possible. I know it's hard.

Natasha understood and she tried to calm down, she nodded and was able to just be sobbing.

Cho placed two chairs between the incubators, Steve and Natasha sat in the chairs and Natasha just couldn't stop sobbing, she was feeling guilty about the twins situation.

Cho: We need the names to identify them.

S: It's Nicholas and... Lindsay.

Cho: Beautiful names, I will arrange everything. I'll give you a moment with them. You have half an hour.

N: Half an hour??

Natasha frowned.

Cho: They can't be so exposed, it's for their protection.

Cho withdrew, Steve was holding Natasha's hand, she looked at Lindsay's incubator and noticed that she was awake, slowly moving her hands and feet. The tube attached to her nose made Natasha feel even worse.

The ICU nurse approached.

- You can touch her, honey, just put your hand in here.

The nurse indicated the holes to fit the hands in the incubator, Natasha didn't feel worth of touching the babies, she could have said about those weird pains in her belly, perhaps that caused their situation.

No, it was not because of that, but Natasha will believe that it's her fault anyway.

Lindsay started to cry and she was so small that Natasha couldn't hear her cry, just the look on her face.

N: Sh... shh...

Natasha touched the incubator.

N: It's okay, baby... I am here....

Natasha instinctively put her hand inside the incubator, she stroked Lindsay's breast lightly and she immediately stopped crying.

N: I'm so sorry...

Natasha started to cry again.

N: It's okay...

S: You're doing great, Natasha.

N: It's so hard!

S: I know.

Steve answered, he was already stroking Nicholas's feet in his incubator.

N: We have to wear gloves to touch our kids, this is so inhumane. I just wanted to be able to hold them in my arms!

S: Me too, but they are like that to get better faster. If I could do something, I would.

Natasha didn't take her eyes off Lindsay, she wanted to lie down next to her and never leave.

S: She looks bigger than him, doen't she?

Steve looked at Nicholas, then at Lindsay.

N: Yes.

Natasha looked at Nicholas.

N: He reminds me of you.

S: Do you think so?

N: Yes.

S: Do you wanna to change a little?

Natasha nodded, she was more in control now, she stroked Lindsay one more time and got up to change places with Steve.

Natasha stroked Nicholas's arm.

N: He looks even weaker than she is, he's so skinny.

S: I noticed.

N: Are they feeding him?

S: Of course they are.

N: I don't know.

S: Cho would not starve them, Natasha.

Natasha sighed and looked into Steve's eyes.

N: You think... You think if I had fed better, they would...

S: Shh... Natasha, I know what you're doing. Stop. You're not guilty.

N: I'm being punished, they're being punished because I didn't want them.

S: You love them now, right?

N: More than anything!

S: So... It's not a punishment, okay?

Cho reappeared in the ICU.

Cho: It's time, guys.

N: W-what??

Natasha went into despair.

N: Cho... I need to stay with them.

Cho: I'm sorry, Natasha.

N: Please. Put them in my room.

Cho: It's for their sake. You'll see them again, tomorrow.

N: Tell me they'll be fine.

Cho: I can't lie to you, Natasha.

Natasha burst out crying again, Steve helped her walk out of the ICU. As they left the room, Natasha lost strength in her legs, Steve hugged her and then took her in his lap, he kissed Natasha's forehead as he walked with her back to the room.

Steve laid Natasha on the bed, Natasha now had only her eyes swollen and red.

N: You're so calm.

S: I'm not, but someone has to keep it together.

N: You're always doing this for me. I'm so sorry.

S: It's alright.

N: You can cry now if you want.

Steve shook his head. His expression was pure melancholy.

N: You have to go.

S: No, I'm not leaving.

N: You need to see James and Sarah.

S: I will not leave you.

Natasha sighed and rested her head on the pillow, then closed her eyes.

Steve covered Natasha and then he called to hear news of the children.

L: Steve, don't worry about anything, they're fine.

S: Did Sarah sleep well?

L: We can say that yes, she cried a little to sleep, but then slept straight till the morning.

S: What about James?

L: Oh he is a big boy already, he understands better, heasked about his mother and sinblings

S: Tell them they're okay.

L: Wait, there's someone here who wants to talk to you.

Laura passed the phone to Sarah.

Sarah: Daddy?

S: Hey, princess!

Sarah was fine, until she heard Steve's voice. Now she is crying, asking Steve to go home.

S: I can't go baby, I need to stay with Mom.

Sarah: Then come pick me up.

S: I can't, hospital is not for children.

Sarah: When will I see you?

S: Tomorrow, okay?

Sarah: Okay. I want to talk to Mommy.

Steve looked at Natasha, who was asleep.

S: She just fell asleep. I'll let you talk to her later, okay?

Sarah: Okay.

S: Let me talk to James.

Sarah ran to James's room and handed the phone to him.

J: Dad?

S: Hey, champ, how are you?

J: Good. What about my mom?

S: She's fine, she's sleeping.

J: And the babies? Are they born?

S: Yes. James, behave yourself, okay? Tomorrow I'll be there.

J: Okay, tell Mom I love her.

Sarah: Me too, me too.

Steve heard Sarah screaming in the background.

S: I will. Take care. I love you.

J: Bye, dad.

Steve hung up the phone and looked at Natasha asleep, he sat down on the couch and thought he could cry now, but nothing came out, which was too bad, to get all the anguish stuck to his chest.

Steve fell asleep and when he woke Natasha was awake, looking at him.

S: Hey... you didn't wake me up...

Natasha seemed to have her mind elsewhere.

N: Do you think they are happy?

S: Huh?

N: James and Sarah.

Steve frowned, confused with ther question.

S: Uhm... yeah, I'm sure they are happy.

N: That's good.

S: Natasha, why are you asking this?

N: I was just thinking...we have to do everything to keep them happy, forever, you know? James, Sarah and the babies.

Steve got up and looked at her.

N: We'll make them happy, right?

S: Yeah...

N: I didn't have anyone to make sure I was happy when I was a little girl... do you understand how important it is for me, that they are happy?

S: They're happy, Natasha. They are.

Steve hurried over to Natasha, he sat on her bed then pulled her in a hug. Natasha laid her head on Steve's chest and gripped his shirt while Steve ran a hand through her hair.

S: I promise you, they are happy.

C: Knock, knock!

Steve and Natasha interrupted the gud to stare at Clint Barton in the bedroom door with decorative balloons.

C: I already know that their names are Nick and Lindsay. Although Clinton Rogers would be a much prettier name. It sounds better, isn't it?

Natasha didn't smile, she didn't have the strength or the will to pretend she was okay. Clint tied the balloons on Natasha's bed and greeted Steve by shaking his hand.

Clint looked at Natasha.

C: My grandfather used to tell me that crying for someone who is not dead is the biggest waste of time a man can have.

Natasha looked at Clint.

C: They are not dead, are they?

Clint looked into Natasha and Steve's eyes.

C: Don't kill them, don't treat them as if they were dead. I beg you, guys. If you treat them like that, they are most likely to really die. I know it hurts talking and thinking about death, but you can't feel this pain of death, because that does not exist for you... you know why?

Clint continued.

C: Because they are here. They're alive, let's treat them like that. Let's be happy that they are born! Let's celebrate!

Natasha didn't react to Clint's speech in the first few minutes, but she closed her eyes and when she reopened them, her eyes were already filled with tears.

Clint approached the other side of her bed and hugged Natasha. Steve got up and sighed, Clint's words had been quite comforting.

C: Cry, baby, cry. Let it out, but this is the last time you're going to cry for those who are not dead.

Natasha nodded, Clint wiped her tears and kissed Natasha's forehead.

C: Bobbi who paid for the balloons. She sent the congratulations and everyone out there is cheering for you both and the babies.

S: Thank you, Barton. I don't even know how to properly...

C: Oh, it's fine!

Clint interrupeted Steve.

C: You are family to me. Let's win this shit together.

Clint had a good time with Natasha today and also the next day when Steve needed to go home, to stay with James and Sarah for a bit.

Steve prepared a new bag with more clothes for him and Natasha, Natasha was already realeased from the hospital, but she refused to leave the place because of the twins.

One more day later, a nurse appeared in the room and announced that they could go upstairs to see the twins again, this time Hill was in the room with Natasha and Steve, paying a visit.

S: Hill, before you go, can I ask you a favor?

H: Yes.

S: Can you stay with the kids tonight and tomorrow? Laura have been straight at my home with them for days, she needs some time off.

H: I don't mean to be rude, but can't Sam stay with them? I mean he deals better with kids than me.

S: He's not in town, he went on a mission with Bucky and Clint can't leave the Base, he's helping Tony in my place.

H: Okay.

Hill left the hospital while Steve and Natasha went up to the ICU and were greeted by Dr. Cho.

Dr. Cho had a lively smile on her face.

Cho: I have good news, guys. They are getting better.

S: I noticed they are getting bigger.

Cho: Yes. Only Lindsay got less development than Nick, but he was the one who needed the most, he was the one who was in a more serious state.

Natasha sighed and she couldn't even smile.

Cho: They will remain hospitalized, but I'm more hopeful now..

N: Are they out of risk?

Cho: No, exactly.

N: What do you mean?

Cho: I'm saying they're starting to react and we've established a stable picture. If they keep developing, they're sure to get out of this.

S: Thank you, Cho.

Natasha stepped past Steve and entered the ICU sector, already in a proper clothing.

Natasha smiled to see that Nick was no longer using help from breathing devices and finally they saw him awake.

Steve arrived a few minutes later and sat next to Lindsay's incubator.

S: Hey, baby girl.

N: He's not even with the devices to help him breathe anymore. That's... that's nice.

Steve looked at Nicholas and smiled.

S: See? It will be all right.

Natasha looked at Steve and smiled, much more relieved, she doesn't even know why but she gave a quick kiss on Steve's lips and turned her attention to Nicholas.

Natasha knows the deal with Steve, no kisses or other intimacies while they are rediscovering their relationship, but she was so happy now and she acted naturally.

- Dad, Mom, let's take them to the bedroom... shall we?

Two nurses approached Steve and Natasha, they got up and the nurses took the twins from the incubator they were about to put them in another ones that was not completely closed. Only Lindsay still had devices to help her breathe better.

Steve and Natasha accompanied the babies to an exclusive room for themselves and the babies.

S: Will we be able to stay with them here?

- Yes.

The nurses put the incubators, well no more incubators, we can call them cribs now, they put them next to Natasha's bed and turned on the monitoring devices in Lindsay.

One of the nurses took Nick in his arms and walked over to Natasha, he was going to put him on Natasha's lap, but she got scared and stepped back.

- You don't want to hold him?

Natasha looked at Steve and he stroked Natasha's arm, encouraging her.

- He didn't eat today yet.

N: Why not?

- Because Dr. Cho wanted you to feed him.

N: Me???

Natasha frowned.

The nurse laughed at Natasha's surprise.

- You better sit in the chair, okay?

Natasha couldn't even move, since the children were born, she never touched them without gloves.

After a few seconds she went to the armchair in the bedroom and sat down. The nurse placed Nick on her lap and Natasha immediately smiled, in an extremely silly way, as never seen before. Natasha watched all the details of the baby, she was trying to record all his features at once.

N: He's so small yet.

Nick started to cry softly because he didn't have enough strength to cry loudly.

- Well, he's hungry.

N: Oh...

Natasha frowned again.

N: B-but... Where... where's his food?

The nurse laughed and looked at Steve.

- She's funny.

Steve crouched next to Natasha.

S: I think they want you to breastfeed him.

N: Me?? What??? I... I... do not... I can't.

It's not that Natasha doesn't want to breastfeed her son, but she doesn't know how to do it and she doesn't even know if she has milk in her breasts.

N: I don't think I have milk...

The other nurse approached.

- You have it, darling. Every morning I check for you, remember?

N: What? Was for that?

- Yeah, you seem like being mom for the first time in your life. You don't know how to breastfeed? I thought you had two kids.

N: I do.

S: Well, we have kids, but she lost her memories, so she does not remember...

- Oh! Okay, I'll help you.

The nurse helped Natasha get Nick to nurse, he stopped crying the minute he started to nurse, Natasha was gaping, she looked at Steve who was grinning from ear to ear.

N: I'm nursing!

S: Yes.

Steve nodded.

N: Oh My God, I'm actually nursing someone!! Me... the Black Widow. God. Don't tell Hill.

S: I will not, but it's not like she doesn't know about it, you breastfed Sarah.

N: Oh yeah, I didn't remember.

The nurses left and warned that they would come back to help Lindsay nurse later because she had been fed before.

Steve stroked Nick's head and kissed his forehead.

N: I can't believe I did it.

S: You're amazing.

Natasha smiled nonchalantly, looking at Nick.

N: I don't know how I can love someone who I just met, that much.

S: It's quite normal, I've loved them immensely since you told me you were pregnant.

Natasha smiled and stroked Steve's face. Steve got up and walked over to Lindsay's crib.

S: Hey, Lily. We didn't forget you. I really want to get you on my lap.

Steve sighed as he stroked Lindsay's hand, hours later when it was time for Lindsay to nurse, Natasha had the same feeling she had with Nick, she was just as thrilled.

The nurses fought with Steve for spending so much time with Nick on his lap.

S: I'm clean, I wash my hands and I shower.

N: True, almost every two hours.

- I understand, but...

Cho entered the room.

Cho: It's okay, at this stage, the more human contact, the better.

Cho examined the babies and noticed that Nick was apparently better off with his parents. Lindsay also seems to be less pale.

Cho: See you tomorrow.

S: Cho, I was wondering if James and Sarah could come and meet their siblings?

Cho: Of course. In time of visits only.

S: Thank you.

The next day, Steve went home and picked the kids to come to the hospital.

Upon arriving there, Sarah was jumping and squeezing Steve's hand.

S: Sarah, remember, you can't grab the babies.

Sarah: Why? I really want to hold them.

J: Because they are sick.

S: Exactly, they're too fragile.

Steve knocked on the bedroom door and Natasha was nursing Lindsay and a nurse was with Nick on her lap.

Sarah and James ran to Natasha.

Sarah: Mommy!!!

J: Mom!

N: Hey, guys... I missed you.

J: So do we. Is that Lindsay?

N: Yes.

Sarah: She's so ugly.

Sarah wrinkled her nose.

S: She's a baby, Sarah. She looks a lot like you when you were a baby.

J: Haha, that means you're ugly!

S: No, it means they're both beautiful.

Steve picked Nick from the nurse's lap, who withdrew from the room.

J: What's that on her nose, mom?

N: It's to help her breathe.

Sarah walked over to Steve and pulled his arm.

S: Sarah, slow down, remember what I said? They are very fragile.

Sarah: I want to see him.

Steve crouched and Sarah looked at Nick.

Sarah: They look the same.

J: They're twins, you dumb.

Sarah: You dumb.

J: No, you dumb.

Sarah: You!

S: Stop, do you want to leave already?

Sarah and James shook their heads.

Sarah: He looks like a doll.

S: It does...

James came to Steve to meet Nick.

J: Hi Nick.

James smiled, then he looked at Natasha.

J: When will you come home?

N: As soon as the twins get better.

Sarah: Does it take long?

S: I hope not.

After the visit, Laura showed up at the hospital to take Sarah and James home.

A week later, on Dr. Cho's routine visit, she came in with a clipboard and handed it to Steve, along with a pen.

S: What is this?

Cho: The papers of your realeasements.

N: What?? Really? We can go home?

Cho: You yourselves could see their improvement... They are stronger now and I see the dedication and care of you, so I am releasing them to go home.

S: I'm so relieved, Cho.

Cho: I can imagine, but we're going to monitor these little angels... once a week bring them to an appointment.

N: But you didn't take Lindsay's breathing devices.

Cho: Yeah, unfortunately we're not going to take it off yet. Her lung is not 100% yet, you're going to take the device with her until she can be without it.

S: But is it safe?

Cho: Perfectly.

Steve looked at Natasha and they both smiled, very relieved. Steve signed the discharge papers and prepared to finally take the children home. Cho left the room, leaving Steve and Natasha to pack the babies and the suitcases to leave.

Natasha walked over to the dresser and grabbed clothes to dress the babies, she walked over to Steve and handed it to him.

N: I don't know how to do this, they're too little.

S: You have to try.

N: No, I'm afraid. I don't want to break any of them.

Steve smiled.

S: You will not break, just be careful. I'll help you.

Steve took Natasha's hand and slipped the clothes back into her hand, Steve followed Natasha and she looked at Nick.

Steve stroked Natasha's arm.

S: It's okay, you can do it.

Natasha sighed and nodded, she took off the blanket that covered Nick, Steve helped hold Nick's head, for Natasha put on the overalls on him.

S: Legs first, just like that... yes, now fit the arms...

Steve smiled.

S: You're shaking.

N: Of course I am!

Steve touched Natasha's hand.

S: No need, you're doing great.

Steve tilted his head so he could see Natasha and she looked at him so closely that they both froze for a few seconds. Steve put his lips to Natasha's, the two of them closed their eyes in the moment their mouths touched. Natasha's lips parted and she allowed his tongue to penetrate her mouth and caress her tongue, this time in a much calmer and more warm way.

They both stopped immediately when they heard knocks on the door.

- Excuse me, Dad and Mom, I...

Steve and Natasha moved their lips away, but when they opened their eyes, their gazes locked on each other for a few seconds.

The nurse was clearly embarrassed to have interrupted their moment and as Steve and Natasha were not paying any attention to what she had to say, she just smiled and stepped back, leaving the room and closing the door.

After leaving the room, the nurse came acroos with another nurse who has also helped with the twins for all these weeks they've been hospitalized, they both came to say goodbye to the babies.

- Rose, did you say goodbye to the twins already? I thought you would wait for me.

The nurse Rose shook her head.

- I did not, I couldn't.

- It's sad when they leave, but it's also a relief for the parents, I know you must be missing them already...

The other nurse sighed.

- Well, then I'll say goodbye to my little angels, now...

- No!

The nurse Rose said firmly.

- Don't go in there right now.

- And why not??

The other nurse frowned.

- Well, have you ever seen a more gorgeous and lovely couple than the twins' parents?

- The Captain and the Widow? No, Rose, they're not a couple anymore, I heard they split up.

- You so naïve... if you had seen how one was looking at the other right now, you'd never say that...

- Oh, yeah?

- Yeas, my Darling, what I saw inside that room... was love. Pure love!