It's the beginning of January in the tenth year and we are going to be seated at new desks. Our desks are a bit different, though (mostly because our class has got the biggest classroom in the entire school).

It was usually six, four or three people in this way of seating.

My teacher called up the names of the students supposed to sit together. The names Christine and Johannes popped up. I felt a bit funny in the stomach but didn't think much of it.

He and Bianca had broken up over the fall break.

It didn't mean that I was in love with him again or that I had some sort of chance with him. I didn't have any. He was popular. I wasn't. He had chances with Marlene and Evie, the beautiful "popular" girls. I was no match.

I hadn't spoken much to Christine ever since she, Ida and Thelma had said that they didn't want to be friends with me anymore. I wasn't okay with that, but I had tried to ignore them altogether.

I haven't written here in a while because there isn't much to say. I've been having a rough couple of months because of school and the fact that my three friends just decided to ditch me. They said I had a negative influence on them. They said I was too weird.

It's awkward, though, considering I'm not friends with Christine, but weirdly enough, Johannes (I'm seated with him for the second time now) isn't too terrible of a company.

Let me tell you something funny, though. I was on cafeteria duty the same day we changed seats with Christine and I think I'm going to hell, but it felt hilarious at that time. Basically, I was behind the disc. Many people came, and Christine just gave a few discounts for no reason when the cafeteria supervisor wasn't looking? For such a goody-two-shoes she sure was a rebel. And a thief, apparently.

Maybe it's just my Islamic values, I don't know.

Then Johannes came in front of me, dangling three kroner in front of me, making it look like a twenty kroner coin somehow, asking for the chocolate milk. I said no and told him to move on. He was so mad, that when lunch ended and we were back in class, he started to tell me I was a horrible human being as a joke.

I didn't take it to heart because I laughed hard. The good kind of laugh.

Evie and Marlene told us we looked good together when she saw us talking and bickering that day. Said we'd be a good couple.

Johannes' face flushed red and I just widened my eyes and awkwardly broke out a "No!"

They were persistent. They kept saying we were a good fit. I wanted it to be true, deep inside. I think Johannes softened up to me because he asked for my Snapchat username and I gave it to him.

When Friday came, I got to be on cafeteria duty again. Johannes came once again, this time with fifteen kroner instead of twenty, but I gave him the discount even if I felt horrible about it. But the smile he sent me, oh my god, the smile he sent me made me forget all about it.

So much for "Islamic values".

He still locked me outside of the classroom door after I was done, though. "That's what you get for Monday!"

This felt familiar. It wasn't like when I was in love with him. It felt like before that. Before things became so complicated. Only this time, Johannes was slightly softer?

He used to be so mean even before I crushed on him.

I knocked really loud, but I heard them playing music on the inside on loud. It was still lunch break, so I just stood there huffing.

"Ey, isn't that your lady, Steve?"

I furrowed my eyebrows and turned around to see a bunch of guys from the other class standing there staring at me as I was annoyingly knocking on the door, almost yelling Johannes' name.

Steve is handsome, I'll give him that. He also happened to be my sixth-grade boyfriend. Except he didn't know we were together for two weeks. His best friend had tricked me, said Steve crushed on me, but he didn't. He said, "I can ask Steve to be your boyfriend for you."

I reluctantly agreed. He came back ten minutes later and said Steve had said yes. I was over the moon and even asked Steve to be boyfriend and girlfriend on Moviestarplanet. The thing was, Steve had actually never said yes to becoming my boyfriend. His best friend had never asked. He just came back saying yes.

It wasn't till two weeks later where we were on our way back to school from swimming class that Johannes walked up to me on the bus and told me Steve wanted to break up with me and that Steve didn't even know we were together until right now on the bus.

But that's 6th-grade relationships for you.

Safely to say, it made sense why he never responded to the relationship request on Movestarplanet and hell, never even talked to me during the time we were together. I just thought he was shy. I went home that day and took back the relationship request.

So yeah, me being Steve's lady? Funny story.

Steve just blushed and said "Hi". And his friends had oooo'd.

I suppose that's 10th grade for you. Still so childish.

Anyway, I also sat on the same table as Johannes in art class and Evie was there. She continued to say that he and I would be a good match even if her helper Marlene wasn't present. We were just awkward about it, but I think I wanted it to happen really badly.

I hope he did, too.

I finally sent him a snap on Snapchat, asking him about how he was. He said he was fine and asked about me. I was fine and then I asked what he was doing and he said he was playing FIFA before asking me what I was doing. I replied nothing. He said ok.

I wish the conversation wasn't dry, but this time, I knew I wasn't being delusional like last time. His eyes were kind. His smile was soft and his gaze wasn't hard like it used to be back when he was with Bianca.

It sucked to get my hopes up.

Yours truly.