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I REMEMBER LOOKING AT THE STARS WITH YOU

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I remember now how betrayed I felt going behind Adaline's back. I never so intended to use her, nor the fact that I did. Recalling much ever so clearly the fact she was not like many of the people I have ever been acquainted with or came across too. Her heart was not something that should have been so out of place in this messed up world and society we live in.

It was her kind heart, ready to see past the judgement of one's origin. That feeling of which I always noticed and admired like when a child's eyes sparkle on the week before Christmas when he, she or they would see a toy on a window display. It was that feeling that I could never forget nor wanted to. 

It was after training and washed up where we headed to the cafeteria, I and Furlan had just come out of our dorms nice and clean that the infallible stares at us when we walked in.

"Levi, loosen up a bit," Furlan nudges my shoulder, "You like you're going to murder someone."

"Great job for catching on," I remarked as we get our food, a tray of oatmeal, an apple and a loaf of bread as we looked around only to see Isabel with none other than Adaline sitting on the other side.

"What are you brats doing?" I say upon entering the conversation as they looked up.

"Who are you calling brat?" Adaline glares daggers at me.

"Big bro! Lieutenant is teaching me math!" Isabel chirps as she holds up the sheet of paper with simple notes about trigonometry.

"That one is wrong," I point out to the second last question as her jaw drops taking the paper back as she scans it.

"Dammit!" she cries as the two of us take a seat, Furlan next to me as we face opposite to the two females. I only sigh as I silently take a scoop of my oatmeal as my eyes soon move and stare softly at Adaline only chuckling at Isabel who was gripping her hair in frustration as if knowledge would automatically pour into her brain. 

Yet it was to my dismay that my friend Furlan had caught eyes on the hidden glance and only let a small cheeky smirk wonder on the corner of his lips. In only gave a slight kick on his leg as the ash-blonde male winced making the two females look up.

"Everything alright?" Isabel asked as I step on his foot and slowly apply pressure to it.

"Y-yes!" Furlan chirps as I lift my foot back up and resume its normal place. As the two look back down and resume Isabel's learning I feel a glare piercing at me as I look to the side to see my conscience right as Furlan only gives a playful glare at me. 

"aye! Adaline! My queen!" I look up in disgust to see a thing coming towards us.

"What is that thing?" I say in disgust as a tall brunette with goggles jubilantly walks over and hugs Adaline from behind as she then drops her tray in front of us making some of her oatmeal splatter in front of me. "Disgusting," I rebuke as I try using the edge of the napkin and gently push it towards the overgrown being (I think) who now sits next to Adaline. 

"Everyone this Hange, she's a squad leader and has a-, um, an irrational preoccupation for titans," Adaline tried to put into words.

"I'm sorry what?" Furlan almost chokes on his drink.

"A fetish," Adaline mumbles.

"Disgusting," I admonished.

"Your kidding," Furlan cringes as Adaline simply shakes her head as we all turn to see this Hange dazing off as she thinks about titans.

"Hange," Adaline says as she gently smacks the back of her head knocking her out of her frenzy.

"Present!" Hange chimes, "So what brings my lovely Adaline to be in your presence?"

"I'm sorry are you to a couple?" Furlan inquires as I silently grumble at that statement."

"I love Hange, but I don't think I have that capacity to consider her my companion," Adaline sighs as the brunette dramatically reenacts herself getting shot.

"I'm hurt," Hange groans as she described it as the 'agonising' pain. 

"Were kinda in that zone of more than friends but definitely not a couple... besides I think Hange here has her heart filled up with titans," Adaline snorts as Hange then pulls her cheeks.

"Aww, don't worry you'll always have a place in my heart. This tiny tiny corner in right valve, while everywhere else is stomping with titans."

"Thank you Hange, for that... description," Adaline trails.

"You daylighters are so weird," I mutter.

"Hmm," Adaline let's out a small smile as the two of us look up and for a brief moment, our eyes finally meet.

"Hmm indeed..." Hange grins, most terrifyingly I may add. 

---

We waited vigilantly, vigilantly enough we weren't caught past curfew without suspicion. Isabel waited on guard as Furlan and I skimmed quickly as we could for the documents. As the night's ribbons-, poured and sliced with a thin rectangle of the commander's office.

Looking through and behind books and going through any hidden compartments from his desk to the shelves I look to Furlan and he shakes his head. As he was walking towards me we freeze as we hear chatter and light footsteps heighten in volume as they approach. Thinking quick as I signal Furlan to go to the corner as I do myself on the opposite side, the two of us waiting for that door to open. 

"-so be it then," I hear and recognize it to be Erwin's voice as he unlocks the door. We both wait only to see not only Erwin but Adaline as well walk through. Furlan taking the opportunity manages to slip through the door from his advantage of the door opening his side as I follow soon after.

"Let's go," Furlan mouths as I signal him to go, hoping if I eavesdrop on the conversation I might pick up anything about the document. As Furlan goes as I press my ear against the door making sure of my surroundings.

"I heard you turned down Mike's offer," Erwin states as Adaline sighs and leans against the desk.

"Hange told you?" Adaline looks to the side.

"A week ago," Ewrin chuckles.

"Mike is not my type," Addy replies as I raise a brow out of confusion from the motion of the discussion.

"I didn't know you had a type," Erwin retorts.

"I mean-, I dunno," Adaline trails.

"Is it the age gap?" Erwin implies.

"No, no age doesn't really matter. It's just that-, I mean I've known him long enough but then again I've known you longer," Adaline turns to Erwin, "He's a good person, he's stubborn but loyal but I see it nothing more as a profession and case of wedding someone. 

I mean nowadays if whether it is a fortunate undergounder or a daylighter if they're not courted or perhaps not bearing a first child by the age of thirty it seems rather odd upon the woman. I mean if they look suitable for marriage. Half of the scouts that are women are either killed or war dogs and the other half are either married and raising a family or transitioned to the military police or royal guard."

Erwin pauses as he lets out a small smile, "I see. In this line of work it's funny thing isn't it. Marriage-,"

"I'm not saying marriage is a bad thing Erwin," Adaline chuckles, "It's a blissful thing it is, if I were to marry well, in this line of work it would be most likely with another soldier. But if I were to marry it would not be out of whether I am courted or not, but for love, you know? Something I know that I can grasp onto in this fucked up world. Someone worth loving even if they die," Adaline explains.

"I mean you and Nile loved Marie," Adaline continued, "but you loved your work more in a way, and wasn't ready to give up-,"

"But Nile did," Erwin interrupted as he smiled.

"You know, I would applaud whoever it may be if they can get you to settle down," Adaline teased.

"Hmm, I doubt having any partner. I would probably end such feelings before they blossom into something greater," Erwin sighs, "My passion for this line of duty is far greater."

"As so it seems," Adaline smiled, "All is well for next week's expedition?"

"Yes, the new formations have been already approved," Erwin answers as Adaline smiles and pushed herself off the edge of the table.

"Well, it's getting late, I'll leave you adieu commander," she greets.

"I to you, lieutenant," he salutes as she nods and walks towards the door.

With a sudden rush of nervousness, I begin to pivot and walk at a supernatural rate, forgetting the route to the dormitories, my mind only trying to get as far as possible. Yet, whether it was unfortunate at the time but the opposite now that I so blindly just circled my way back to Adaline, on her route to her dormitory.

"Levi," she said raising her brows in surprise as I remain my calm demeanour, "What are you doing up so late?"

"Couldn't sleep," I quickly come up with as she chuckles lightly.

"Want to come with me?" She inquires, I couldn't tell if I was in trouble or not but I nod and obliged as she leads up a tower. 

It is what I could only come up with that I was caught and she was either going to throw me off the wall or interrogate and then push me off the wall. I look at my surroundings and confirm it's a secluded part of the tower as well as the section of the wall. 

Dammit, I didn't bring my pocket knife, left it with Furlan.

As she opens the door I get ready for any advancement. She turns around and I grab her wrist and as if it was slow motion everything stops. With her spring locks dancing in the breeze as she turns around and the backdrop only a sea of diamonds illuminating the heavens.

"What are you doing?" She quickly takes her hand out of my grip as she rubs it.

"I'm sorry, reflexes," I apologise feeling a bit guilty as I look at her wrist, "Are you alright?"

"Y-yeah, and don't worry it's my bad. I reached my hand out without warning," she smiles as she looks to the night sky and so do I. I finally understood why Isabel so desperately wanted to see the daylighter's view of the night. 

Though as we sat down a cold blanket wrapped us in its nighttime embrace. Something was so still about this moment, perhaps it was the tranquillity or either of views but it was calming.

"I like to come here to think or before an expedition if I can or if I can't sleep," Adaline says breaking the silence with the moonlight pouring on both of us. "It's calming, and perhaps in my last moments on an expedition, I can try a remember this view."

"It's... it's beautiful," my eyes soften as I take notice of the detail and placements of the stars, marvelling at its beauty.

"I wonder if the heavens had ever had means to punish us, perhaps yes but you know there is always light and beauty and we just have to grasp onto those things until we are given something better," Adaline continues as we look at each other.

"Why-, why are you being so nice to me-, to us?" I say not letting my guard down just yet.

Adaline chuckles lightly, "Is it really hard these days to beckon when someone shows the slightest of kindness?" she questions as there is a slight pause before she continues. "I-, I just know how it feels. I'm from the underground too, I was recruited when I was sixteen."

My eyes could only widen in utter surprise, that was one of the last things I could ever think of in terms of first meeting her.

"I know, I don't look like an undergrounder... well except for my height," She laughs as I soon felt at ease with her presence. I only broke out a smile in response.

"You know you look really handsome when you smile," Adaline abruptly says as I am taken off guard by the question. "It's true," she only shrugs as she looks back at the night sky.

"Do you see that star?" Adaline points to the right at the biggest star near the moon as I look to where she is pointing and I see the brightest star near the moon, small yet shining the brightest out of all of them.

"Yes," I answer.

"That star is called Allura, it represents the youngest daughter of the titan Abiek, that's why there are seven stars nearest to the moon. The seven sisters are from all of which are from different mothers," she explains as I scoff.

"That titan has been busy," I remark as she gives a light chuckle.

"yes, he was not a faithful titan, the first three daughters Alora, Nymeria and Alana are all daughters from the heavenly mother Indira whom was renowned and vain of her beauty. The other three daughters are from each different mothers of other goddesses whom were Ginerva, Elodie and Daphne. But the last daughter Allura was from an affair of a mortal queen.

Though she was half she was granted powers and responsibilities like the rest of her sisters. They say she was the prettiest though half-mortal, hence why she governed spring. Alora, whom was jealous of her undivided attention from her husband and for her beauty tricked her into becoming a mortal and fell from the heavens.

On the seventh day, it was said Allura first met the seventh prince when he almost shot her. At first glance, the seventh prince fell in love and soon so did she. But as the months grew along with their passion for one another the earth cease of any flowers, beauty and even livestock. 

Soon the titan Abiek took notice and searched to only find his youngest daughter missing, furious his first wife soon confessed only to be dismissed. It was only then when Allura was soon called to go back and govern, resulting in her heartache to leave her beloved," Adaline stopped as she put her teacup down. 

"What happened after?" I inquire, denying the fact I was eager to find out what happened next.

"Well, as agonising as it was for the both of them, Allura had to leave," Adaline paused as she looked back at the heavens, glittering in the reflection of her eyes. "Seeing how his daughter was heartbroken, he allowed her to go back for the second half of the year. That's how the people of the past explained the seasons, in the summer and spring it was said that Allura resumed her duties, and when Allura was on earth with her loved one not doing her duties it explained for autumn and winter. That's why flowers are given to loved ones. Flower's are alluring or beautiful and why spring is such a popular time to get married for couples."

"You know quite a lot," I say.

"I read a lot," she chuckles, "You know never got the chance much in the underground," she pushes back a strand of her spring locks behind her ear. 

We sat in silence, a moment I wished lasted forever. Under the glittering heavens as we were wrapped by the night's coldness.

"Well, I suppose we should be heading back," Adaline gets up, "It's getting late."

" I think I'll stay here a little longer," I reply, "You go on."

"Okay, but you better be careful not to get caught," she chuckles as she opens the door.

"Oh, Adaline," as she stops from closing the door.

"Yeah?"

"Thank you."

SORRY, I HAVEN'T UPDATED IN A WHILE, I'VE BEEN SUFFERING A WRITING BLOC WITH ALL OF MY BOOKS BUT FELT GUILTY IN NOT UPDATING THEM.

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