July 22, 2009

"Kai! Kai! Kai! It happened! I strapped on a pair and finally lost my-" A joyful Zoe bursts into my room yelling. "Whoa-ho-ho! What is this!?"

I peak my eyes open and blush at the position I've just been caught in. Jace is laying on his stomach, arm over my bare torso and his face buried in the crook of my neck,groaning in protest to all the noise. The embarrassing part? We are both butt naked with only the blanket covering us, and it's hardly doing that.

"Make your friend shut up, it's worse than an alarm clock," Jace grumbles, trying to cuddle into me further.

"Rude! I am not an it!" Zoe whines.

"Hey, she's your friend, too,"I mumble, nestling into Jace, closing my eyes again.

"Not at... seven-freaking-thirty in the morning she isn't."

Zoe rolls her eyes and turns her back on us, "Fine! Don't tell me what happened! Leave me wondering why you smell like booze and sex! I just won't tell you about the amazing sex I had last night. Which was pretty freaking amazing!"

"Babe! Don't be telling people!"Zaq complains from their room, sounding groggy himself.

Zoe winks at me and skips into the hall between our rooms, stopping when the sound of Martyn's voice drifts towards us, "What's with all the shouting? Do you know what time it is!?"

Zoe throws her arms in the air happily and replies, "Kai and Jace did the diddly do! And so did I! I'm happy, let me be happy!"

"ZOE!" Jace, Zaq and I all shout in unison.

"Why is everyone, but me getting laid!?" Martyn complains in exasperation from down the hall.

I can't help but burst out laughing, turning over and cuddling into Jace's chest, feeling so amazingly happy and comfortable. I don't even care if Zoe just announced my sex life to the world. Nothing, and I mean nothing, can ruin this moment.

***

After about an hour of lounging, Jace decides we should get up and meet his family for breakfast. I get up to shower and gasp in surprise when Jace grabs me by the wrist and twirls me around into his arms with a wicked little smirk.

"Would you oppose to sharing a shower, Baby?" He purrs, leaning down and kissing my neck softly.

I tilt my head to give him more access, "Not at all."

He quickly ushers me into the bathroom, the two of us smiling and laughing as we trip out of our clothes, too busy kissing and touching to worry about being graceful. The only thing on both of our minds, is how fast can we undress and get under the steamy water, for once feeling as though there is not a single thing in the world to worry about.

After a lunch full of teasing looks and smirks passed among Jace, Zaq, Zoe and I, Jace and Martyn's mother and father asked to speak to Jace in private once again and although he obliged to speak to them, he did not listen to their request to do it alone. Instead, he grabbed me by the crook of the arm and pulled me along beside him, sitting me next to him on a love seat across from his parents. Which is how I've ended up awkwardly frozen in place with his parents glaring at me, but Jace looking oddly smug.

"Jace, we asked to speak with you alone," his mother says, voice strained.

He nods, "You did. I just don't care. Kai is part of my life, and deserves to know at least some of what's going on. I don't like leaving him in the dark every time you feel the need to whisk me off for another 'private chat'."

"Oh? So, you'd like to tell him everything, would you?" his father asks, sounding smug himself.

I look between him and Jace and wonder to myself what on earth they are talking about, but decide it best not to voice my thoughts. I don't look up to see, but I know Grace is glaring daggers at me for my presence. They act like I'm here to degrade and sully their son.

...

Well, that's not exactly what I've done.

He started it!

"What exactly did you want to discuss Father?" Jace asks, ignoring the question.

His dad sighs and shakes his head. "Melanie will be here this afternoon to talk about arrangements. By the noise that woke me this morning, I assume you have not told...your friend what will be happening and why this relationship should cease to continue?"

Jace purses his lips and for a second I feel my heart stop, stomach getting an unbearable sinking feeling.That all came to a halt when Jace spoke again. "Let her come. I will talk to her, but simply to inform her that her assistance and these arrangements will be unnecessary as everything is fine! So, yes I will tell Kai. But, if you think I'm leaving him, for even a second, you're kidding yourself."

My eyes widen and I am overwhelmed by the intense feelings I feel towards Jace.

He turns to me and smiles so warmly that I can't believe I ever doubted him, "Kai, I was meant to be in an arranged marriage for money that was needed back when I was seventeen. I no longer need such money and am of age to now decline this arrangement, which is exactly what I will be doing this afternoon. Why? Because, I love you and after everything is settled here, we are going back home to Reading and looking for a place of our own."

My heart thunders in my chest as happiness fills me to the brim. A place of our own? A home that I own? Shared with Jace? If you had told me even half a year ago that any of this would be happening for me, that I would be capable of such happiness, that I would be loved and able to love someone in return; I would have laughed, out loud, in your face. I'm about to express my excitement, but a shrill sound of frustration interrupts my happy thoughts.

"Don't do this, Jacen! Please!"Grace exclaims, leaning forward to grab one of Jace's hands."Darling, please. We are doing this for you! You know you need this! How can you just throw everything away for some simpleton who will probably be no better than the last piece of filth you brought home! He hurt you, Jace! You hurt each other! Do you want that again!?"

Jace looks indecisive for a split second before his face contorts in anger. He stands, ready to lash out, but instead stumbles back to the couch, falling into my side as he coughs harshly, wheezing and holding his chest as though in pain. Worry and panic hits me immediately as I wrap an arm around his shoulder to steady him.

I look at his parents, annoyed that they've caused Jace to exert so much energy with their stupid argument. "Look. I don't know exactly what this is all about. That's for Jace to tell me when he wishes me to know. You can hate me all you like, trust me, I'm used to it. But, I know Charlie. They may have had their problems, but all couples do. Charlie, no matter how much I wanted him gone, is not a bad guy. He was a great friend to Jace and a great guy in general. Had to be if Jace loved him."

Everyone in the room gives me looks of awe (well, mostly Jace.). His parents both seem to not know what to say to that and drop their eyes to the floor in a way that tells me they feel slight shame. Their gazes snap up again though at the sound of Jace going into another fit. He stands, hand covering his mouth as another cough rips through his chest before he speaks with a rough voice.

"I-I'll be back. Excuse me."

He turns and practically stumbles out of the room, looking ready to hit the floor or hunch over and get sick. However, before he leaves, I notice one thing that roots me to my spot, filling me with fear and uneasiness. Blood. Little red speckles and smears on his palm. Is that from him? Did he cough up blood? What can that mean!?

As soon as Jace is gone, Grace bursts into tears and quickly takes her leave also, leaving me alone with her husband.

"Kailas... to be honest, I like you. You seem like a decent man. Loyal and honest. Rare qualities these days. But... when I say you shouldn't stay involved with my son, it isn't out of selfishness. It's for your own good. You're young and you don't need to involve yourself with things like this."

I become more confused and worried the more he speaks. What the hell is going on? Is there something wrong with Jace? Is that what he's hiding from me? Is it something else? Something dangerous? What can be so bad that I'm being warned to back out while I can? All confidence of everything being okay has vanished. If it had truly ever been there at all.

**

I watch from around the corner as Jace says goodbye to Melanie. After his disappearance during the conversation with his parents, he found me in the living room alone and didn't even ask where his parents went. Worst of all? He pretended like nothing happened and like he was perfectly fine and dandy. I wanted to ask what happened to him and what was wrong, but he clearly didn't want me to know.

When Melanie showed up, Jace asked if I would mind allowing him to speak with her alone. I didn't particularly favour the idea, but after sitting in on his last conversation, I really didn't even want to hear. All I know is that he's turning her down and coming back to be with me. I truly have nothing to worry about. Besides what ever the hell is up with him.

"If you ever change your mind, know that I'm always here and willing, okay?" Melanie says softly as she slides on her jacket.

"It's much appreciated. But... I need to do things my way for once. With or without consequences,"Jace says just as softly.

Consequences? What is he on about? Consequences of choosing me? Does he believe I'll hurt him as Charlie must have before? No! Jace, I could never! What on earth does he mean? Ugh, it is becoming unbearably frustrating not having any answers to anything.

I take a deep breath to calm down. I'll know in due time, I remind myself.

"Take care of yourself... I mean it," Melanie says with a sigh, giving Jace a quick peck on the cheek that pisses me off, before walking out the door.

Jace turns and sees me standing there and I can see the thoughts swirling around in his mind just by how glazed over his eyes appear. I saunter across the room to stand in front of him, causing him to come back to reality and give me a tired smile before leaning down and giving me a soft, loving kiss on the lips that ignites a familiar fire inside me.

"Think we have some time to be alone?" I ask, nibbling my lip as I play with the collar of his shirt.

He chuckles and shakes his head, "I've created a monster."

"I'll be whatever you want me to be, love," I almost whisper, attempting to sound seductive.

It seems to work, because I can feel his body stiffen, along with a certain--suddenly hard--body part that presses against my thigh. I smile at that, pleased with myself as I find the courage to meet his gaze dead on.

"I'll keep that in mind,"Jace says back, voice suddenly deep and husky. "But, I have different plans for us tonight--unfortunately."

I deflate a little, hating how easily I get worked up for him now. "What do you mean?"

He gives me the most devilish of smirks, "I promised you a fabulous date, did I not?"

I raise my brows in surprise, having forgotten, but suddenly very excited, "Indeed you did, Mr.Levett. It better be the most mind-blowing of dates, especially if you're making me put off sex for it."

He laughs again, turning me to usher me up the stairs, "Come on you little sex addict, let's find you something to wear for tonight."

I smile and cuddle into his side as we make our way to our room, forgetting about my worries, if only for the moment.

***

By six o'clock, I am standing in the hall way, waiting on Martyn apparently who will escort me to where I am meeting Jace and who has offered to chauffeur us as an apology for their parents behaviour and for getting me drunk the night before. Something I still highly regret, despite how wonderfully the night turned out.

"Wow--I mean... wow," I jump at the sound of Martyn's voice and blush.

"Jace did pick everything out, but is it too much?" I ask, feeling bashful and awkward.

Martyn shakes his head furiously and smiles at me, "You look handsome, Kai. You clean up very well. My brother's jaw is going to hit the floor when he sees you."

I laugh at the image and allow Martyn to begin leading me down the hall, until I'm halted by a tiny person hanging off my arm. I turn and almost burst out in laughter at the smiling, but teary eyed Zoe standing there.

"My little Kai bear is all grown up! I'm so proud!" She cries, enveloping me in her tiny arms, and squeezing me with a surprising strength.

"Babe, stop gushing over the boy like he's your kid," Zaq laughs, pinching her cheek playfully.

She scowls and pouts at him, "Maybe he is! I would totally adopt my lil Kaily-kins! Ugh! It's like just yesterday I was trying to kiss you so you'd admit you liked Jace!"

I blush and Zaq looks up at me, looking equally shocked by her announcing this. I open my mouth to defend myself, feeling ten times more awkward, especially when Zoe starts trying to adjust my suit jacket like a mother would. Zaq just holds a hand up to silence me and gives me a 'we're cool' look before dragging a complaining Zoe back into their room. They're a weird couple, but I can't imagine Zoe finding a guy better for her than Zaq.

"Ready to go?" Martyn asks, still slightly chuckling at the little display that just happened.

I nod, "As ready as I'll ever be, I suppose."

The whole car ride I nervously bite my lip, wondering what on earth Jace has planned for us that would because enough for me to look so fancy. Hopefully there won't be a crap ton of people. Just the thought has me almost breaking a sweat. No! Can't sweat in this thing!

I sigh and force myself to take a few slow, calming breaths.

"Relax, Kai. It's just Jace. Just focus on the great time you're going to have with him and stop stressing, okay?" Martyn says in a very big brother sounding voice that I'm sure he usually reserves for Jace.

I smile and feel much better as I think about Jace and everything I love about the wonderful man. What am I even worried about? Tonight is going to be wonderful and I should just enjoy what Jace has clearly done, more importantly what he's done for me.

Martyn pulls up outside of a very fancy looking building and I feel a hint of anxiety creep into my veins as I see a few people coming and going. I ignore the feeling though as Martyn leads me inside to wait at the base of the staircase in the buildings foyer. It's only minutes later that someone twirls me around and I'm face to face with a grinning Jace.

"You look absolutely stunning, baby," He whispers, leaning forward to kiss me deeply, but keeping it classy for this obviously high end place.

Martyn nods to us before leaving and I smile as Jace grins at me again and lets his eyes glide over my body once, twice and three times. A gleam of complete satisfaction in his eye lights my entire body on fire and I want to just kiss him and undress him here and now, but I can't and I hold in the frustrated groan that comes with the thought.

Jace--clearly seeing my distress--giggles and kisses my cheek playfully, "Come on, Love. Save it for after, alright? We have the entire night to get to that part. For now, follow me!"

I smile and graciously take his extended hand and allow him to lead me past a set of double doors to reveal what looks like a ball of some sort. There are people dressed like movie stars in here and I suddenly feel extremely self-conscious. Beyond the dance floor is a set of french doors leading to a dimly lit dining room filled with white clothed tables. It all looks beautiful and romantic and like the sort of place I do not belong.

"Jace... I-"

"Take my hand and pretend like it's just you and me. Just like the first time we danced together," He hushes, taking me into his arms and swaying us slowly side to side to the beat of the song.

I shut my eyes, forcing my body to loosen up as I place one hand on his shoulder and the other laces with his. I rest my forehead against his and close my eyes, pretending it is only the two of us twirling beneath the chandeliers, gliding over the marble floors. Nothing else, but the music and our hearts beating as one. I feel so in tune with him, so connected and so damn in love with him.

I slowly open my eyes, finding those loving blues already looking into mine. Jace gives me that heart melting crooked grin before stealing a small kiss. I know it's silly, because we've kissed a million times by now, but each one still feels like the first. I can't help but feel nervous and excited when he does things like this. I love him so much, because every bit of his love that he gives me is like a dream come true.

"I love you so much, Kai... you know that, right?" Jace says quietly as I rest my head against his shoulder.

I nod, smiling to myself, "I do, and I love you in return... were you serious about finding a place?"

Jace sighs and kisses my forehead sweetly, "That's the dream, Kai. There are some things I need to work out first... like university."

I pull back instantly to meet his serious gaze, "If you're coming back to London for school, or going anywhere, I'll go with you. I don't mind!"

He gives me a sad, small smile, "I know you would, Kai. But... while you're still being treated by Dr.Moretti, you shouldn't really leave. Sure, you could get a different therapist, but Erik's familiar with your case. You'd be starting all over again and I'd hate to see you lose the progress you've made."

"Then, what do you suggest? You're not saying you're going to just take off, are you? If you are, then...what was the point of all this!?" I say, pulling away from him, making a couple people stare at me.

Jace frowns, shaking his head, "That's not what I was thinking at all, Love. I was thinking about... putting off University until you could follow me, or even attend yourself. I could put an application in for you."

I freeze, stunned by what he's offering, "Jace, I might not be allowed to stop therapy for the next year or so. Even then, there's the possibility of some sort of set back. I couldn't hold you back like that, you can't just put your life on hold for me, that's not fair. And anyway, University is expensive, I could never afford to go."

He steps forward, wrapping his arms around my waist once more to pull me close, "I'd do anything if it meant being with you, Kai. I'd give up everything for you. As for the expenses... I'd cover it. I want you to have a future, to be able to do something that makes you happy."

I drop my gaze to the floor, tears threatening to spill over as my body trembles with the effort it's taking to hold back the cries of frustration. "I'm not worth it, Jace. I love you, and I want to be with you, but I won't let you give up everything you've worked for because I fucked up and need therapy. I'd hate myself the entire time you were here knowing you could be somewhere doing what you always wanted and making something of yourself. You're not like me. You're supposed to be great and do something, not just some small town guy who has to take care of his mentally fucked up boyfriend."

The panic and hurt beat at my heart relentlessly as the tears began flowing over my cheeks, my hands clenched tightly as I cross my arms over my chest to hug myself, like some attempt to keep myself together. What am I doing? Am I really letting Jace go? I have to, it's the right thing to do. But...that means breaking up with him. It's what has to be done. How will I live without him!? Who cares what happens to me? His life is more important than mine and I'm just ruining it. Stop! Shut up! No! I can't be selfish! Let him go before he makes the biggest mistake of his life! I'm not worth him fucking up his future!

"Jace... I think we-"

"Don't you dare say it," He chokes, making me look up into his crystal blues, brimming with tears. "I'm taking a year off regardless. I'm a different person than I was a couple months ago. I've changed my mind about a lot of things and I've been thinking a lot about the way I want my future to pan out and everything I want now involves you. Please, don't take that away, this is what I want!"

I shake my head, forcing myself to refuse what he tells me. He's just saying anything to stop me from ending things. I know he loves me, he's proved it time and time again, but this time, I have to do something for him. Whether he knows it's for the best or not, I do and I need to stop him before he does something he'll regret when he realizes I'm not worth it.

I open my mouth to speak, but words won't come out, so instead I turn on my heel and dart out of the building. I bump into a few people as I make my way to the front doors, receiving many rude slurs for it, but I just can't find it in me to care. Bursting out into the humid summer air, I take a deep breath to calm my emotions, but it just isn't working. I jog down the stairs, only halting when a desperate voice that damn near shatters me calls out my name.

"Kai! Kai, please! Just talk tome, we can sort this all out!" Jace yells from the top of the stairs, starting to run down after me.

I whip around, ready to tell him to just let me go, but my heart begins to thunder in my chest when I see him collapse on the stairs, coughing and wheezing and grasping at his chest. His eyes screw shut, telling me he's in obvious pain. The whole argument is forgotten as I quickly run to his side and pull him up against me, trying to calm him, but his coughing fit just won't cease.

"Jace? Jace! What's wrong? What'shappening!?" I ask, panic overriding my every thought.

"I--c-call--" Jace manages through his fit, his head lolling back against my chest. "M-Mart-"

More coughs, but I know what he's trying to say and instantly pull out my cell phone. I click on Martyn's contact and impatiently sit through three rings, nearly having a heart attack at the thought of him not picking up. Come on you bastard, answer!

"Hello?" Martyn finally answers.

"Martyn! It's Jace! H-He's collapsed and he won't stop coughing and he can't speak right and he's hardly breathing! What do I do!? What's wrong with him!? God,what do I do!?" I blubber, emotions taking over as I practically cling to Jace as though I'll lose him at any moment.

"Shit. Okay, calm down down, Kai. You won't be able to help him unless you calm down and concentrate. He needs you right now, can you relax enough to do what I say?"Martyn says, tone becoming very stern.

I nod shakily even if he can't see, trying to calm down my sobbing.Just then Jace's coughing increases again after having calmed only slightly and time seems to have stopped, breathing and heart beats non-existent as I see blood spew from his mouth and dribble down his chin slightly.

"Oh god... Martyn, he's coughing up blood. What am I supposed to do?" I whimper.

There's a sound of doors closing and an engine starting, "Make sure you keep him awake and breathing. Call an ambulance, I'm going to meet you at the hospital, it'll take too long for me to get to you now."

"O-Okay," I say, hanging up without a second thought and quickly punching in the emergency dispatch number.

After explaining what is happening, becoming slightly irritated by all the questions when this is clearly pretty damn urgent, they tell me that an ambulance is on it's way. I shove my phone in my pocket and return to Jace's aid, brushing his hair back, trying to calm him and keep him awake. At one point his eyes manage to focus on me and I see a single tear well up and slide down his cheek.

"You're going to be okay, Love. Help is on the way. I promise, I'm not letting anything happen to you. I love you, I love you so much. I'm sorry I ran from you. I'm sorry I wanted to leave you. I promise, I don't even care anymore, I'll stay. If it's what you want, I'm with you. You have to hang on for me though, okay? Please?" I say, voice hoarse from crying, voice trembling as I practically throw up the words from panicking so badly.

He gives me a weak nod before going into another fit, grasping at his chest desperately, tears pooling in his eyes as he curls into me, looking so small and fragile. It's heartbreaking to see him like this and I'm so thankful when the ambulance finally shows up and the medics get him on a gurney and load him into the back. Thankfully I'm able to ride with him, because there's no way in hell they'd be able to drag me from his side.

Once at the hospital the doctors rush him inside and get him on one of those beds with wheels and take him away into a room they say I don't have access to.

"What do you mean!? He needs me! Please!" I cry, but the nurse just gives me a pitying stare.

"I'm sorry, sir. You can wait in the private waiting room of this wing, but you can't see him until the doctors are done doing what they need to do."

I growl in frustration, running my hands through my hair in frustration, trying not to lose it on this innocent woman. I just can't help it. I don't have good experiences with hospitals. All I can think about is waiting for my mother only to be told she passed away anyway! What if I lose Jace? If he leaves me permanently, I don't know how I'd be able to live. The thought of losing him like that makes it hard to breathe, like the walls are closing in.

"Kai!" A voice startles me and brings me back to reality ever so slightly.

I turn and see Martyn, Zoe, Zaq, Grams and Jace's parents right behind them, all rushing towards me with worried expressions. Martyn makes it to me first and without a word pulls me in for a tight hug. The sudden attempt at comfort makes me breakdown all over again as I cling to him, letting the pain and sadness that has been aching in my chest come out in the form of desperate sobs.

"It's going to be okay, Kai," Martyn soothes, rubbing my back gently.

I shake my head, "You didn't see him! What if he's not okay?"

Zoe rushes forward then, gently pulling me over into her arms for a warm hug, "Shh, don't think like that. Jace is a tough cookie, he can get through whatever is wrong. You need to be strong for him though, okay?"

I sniffle and give a shaky nod, "You're right... god, it was just so bad, Zo. He wasn't breathing and there was blood and-"

"This is why you should have left when I told you to," Mr. Levett mutters, giving me a sad look before walking past us all to go into the waiting room.

Grace just bursts into tears and runs after him, not even bothering to look my way. Martyn sighs when they're both gone and gives me an exhausted, weary look before shaking his head and going after them to probably calm them down. I can't imagine how worried they must be. As hard and forceful as they are with Jace, it's obvious that they love him.

Zoe and Zaq keep me company in the hall, as I refuse to stay in the presence of Jace's family. They probably want to be alone, I'd just feel as though I'm intruding. The whole time though I can't seem to get a grip. The panic eats away at me and I feel like I'm suffocating with each second that ticks on by.Why is it taking so long? Something serious must be happening if it's already been this long! What if they come back and tell us he...hasn't made it?

I breathe in sharply and Zoe looks at me sadly, worry in her eyes. Zaq stands up, offering me his hand which I take, slightly confused until he wraps an arm around my shoulders and begins leading me away from the waiting room area.

"Let's take a walk, Kai. It's probably going to take some time and it's no good for you to sit here panicking," He says, sounding more level-headed than anyone so far, but I can still see the worry in his eyes; whether for Jace or for me, I'm not sure.

We walk around in comfortable silence for what feels like forever, "There's something seriously wrong with him, isn't there?"

Zaq doesn't answer for a bit, but then says to me quietly, "It's possible, but let's not worry until we find out the truth, okay?"

I don't say anything, just continue walking as I try to keep my thoughts from swallowing me whole and my panic from breaking me down. I knew from the beginning that this trip to London was a horrible idea. I had a feeling and I should have listened to it. So much crap has happened in the span of just two days. We've nearly broken up, I've nearly drank myself back into a deep depression, I gave myself to Jace, then just as everything begins going uphill, we get in a huge fight and now Jace is in the hospital; possibly dying. How can so much go wrong in such a short period of time? I don't get it! Why do terrible things keep happening to us!? I just want to be happy! Is that so much to ask for? It's one thing, not even an object! Just a simple content life. Not this dramatic disaster.

As soon as we reach Zoe again, she stands up and rushes to me, "The doctor was just here! Jace is out of the Emergency room and his parents and Martyn have just gone to see him. You should probably go, too. If he's awake he'll want you there, you know that."

I nod, heart racing as I run in the direction Zoe points me in, searching for his room number. Just as I find it, I slow at the sound of serious voices and Grace's sobs. What is happening? Is everything okay? I stop just outside the door, listening to the man standing there in a white coat.

"I'm sorry, sir. I wish I had better news."

"Just give it to us straight, doc,"Jace's dad says, sounding surprisingly choked up.

My heart pounds as the doctor sighs and utters the words that would change my life forever.

"The cancer has returned, but it's the lungs this time... I'm sorry, Jace, but you've been diagnosed with stage two lung cancer."

All air escapes my lungs and I feel as though my chest is caving in from the amount of pain I feel.

"What!?" I cry out without thinking.

Everyone turns to me, but my tear filled eyes are locked on the pale, raven-haired, blue-eyed man laying in the bed before me. Jace's eyes widen at the sight of me,shaking his head as he reaches a hand out to me. The tears escape as I watch him try to get up, only to be restrained by the doctor. He attempts calling out to me, but I can't take it--I can't handle this. All I can think is how badly I need to get away from here, away from everything; I just need to run.

Before I can change my mind, I turn and do exactly that. Just run. As fast as I can, as though I can possibly escape all the pain assaulting my heart. This can't be real. Please, oh god, please don't let this be real.

~Shay<3