924 AF1 - (y/n)'s POV

"I swear! I didn't make her up!" Exhaustion laced my voice. Not because I'm tired, but because I've had to repeat myself a thousand times. I guess it's kinda like I'm tired. Tired of repeating myself. More mentally exhausted than physically exhausted. "It's like past lives, y'know? Alternate realities. Whenever I'm here, she's here too."

Dr. Arc, not to be confused with Miss. Arc, though they're probably sisters, sat across the table from me, clipboard in hand. This Arc is a little older than the tech. "Past lives?" Her voice remained suspicious, as it has been for the past ten minutes I've sat in this room. "So you've lived here before?" She leaned back into her leather seat, tapping her pen on the clipboard.

"Well... no. Not 'here'..." I paused to sift through my thoughts. In my head, it made perfect sense, but it's hard to explain it to someone who clearly doesn't believe you. My eyes constantly looked out the office window, landing on patients, techs, nurses, and doctors who passed by the room. "Like here... but not 'here'. It's always Remnant, but things usually unfold... differently..." I scratched my head, trying to find the right words to articulate my predicament.

Dr. Arc sat up straight in her chair and adjusted her glasses. She then cleared her throat. "Alright." Her eyes scanned her clipboard, probably reading through some notes she made on me. "So this 'Em' has always been with you. Ever since you were young?"

I nod in confirmation. "Yeah... but not physically..." My hand gripped my knee hard in frustration, still sorting through my words. "They're memories of her..."

"So she's not here?" Dr. Arc bit the tip of her pen before writing something down.

I felt myself instinctively roll my eyes. It's a cycle: she asks how I know Em, I tell her she's a part of my memories, she writes something down, asks how I know Em again. Something tells me Dr. Arc isn't understanding any of this. Well, knowing a certain Arc from some past memories, they aren't the brightest of people.

"She's never been here in this life, physically, at least. I just know these things. They're memories."

Dr. Arc nodded her head. "So, these 'memories'. How do they present themselves? Are they auditory, visual?"

"Neither. They're like any other memory... Kinda like how you'd remember what you had for breakfast or whatever."

The doctor nodded again, though this time, a sense of understanding came from her. "So, you say every time you're brought into this world, she is too?"

"Yeah."

"Do you believe she's here physically in this life?"

The thought has definitely lived in my mind many times. The possibility of her not existing in this life scared me. "Yeah... I think so."

"Are you on any drugs? Prescription or otherwise?"

I felt myself roll my eyes at the question. The doctor reacted to my reaction by writing stuff down on her clipboard. A little bothered by that, I leaned forward, trying to catch a glimpse of what she was writing. "What are you writing on there?"

"A clinical assessment. Mostly about your mental status. Hopefully, it'll give us a starting point." She responded to my question and then followed it with one of her own. "Drugs?"

I leaned back into my chair and let out a semi-frustrated sigh. "No." A quick and straight-to-the-point answer. Emerald was definitely not a drug-induced hallucination.

"Nothing at all?" Dr. Arc's eyes looked over the rim of her glasses.

I responded with a bored expression. "Nothing." A little frustration in my voice hopefully pushed my answer far enough for the doctor to stop considering drugs as a source of my problem. I then realized the second time she asked the question wasn't for confirmation, but to see my reaction. On cue, Dr. Arc started writing something down.

"Now, it says here that you joined an underground criminal organization to track 'Em' down?"

Joined? Hardly. I just needed the connections. "I don't want to commit crimes and kill others if that's what you're wondering.

"Then why would you join an organization like 'Salem'?" Dr. Arc lowered her clipboard onto her lap and leaned forward, bring all of her attention onto me.

"I just... I... I don't know... wanted to find Em as fast as possible... I didn't know where else to look..."

Dr. Arc nodded his head. "What were your feelings when you were committing the heist?"

"Anxious? Scared? Desperate? Take your pick."

"And how do you feel now?"

"Annoyed." My lack of patience was never a great trait of mine and it really shows right now.

"Any other destructive behaviours?"

I just shrug in response. I really don't want to have a conversation with her right now. I also really don't like the idea of having someone check up on my every ten minutes because they think I have an insatiable bloodlust.

Dr. Arc placed her clipboard onto the desk. "It's OK. We can come back to this." She then leaned back, crossed her arms, and tilted her head back. "What is it you think is causing these memories of past lives?"

I remained silent. While I was relieved we moved past the previous topic, I was now stuck with another difficult question. I was unsure about how to answer this one. Well, I actually have an idea, it's just that I'd sound crazy if I said it out loud.

"(y/n)?"

"I... I think it's Oum... Like... he..." The moment those words left my mouth, I felt myself cringe. "He likes to fuck with me sometimes, y'know?"

The doctor's hand moved up to her chin. "Do you believe in the existence of Oum?"

I looked up at the doctor, regret pooled deep in my stomach because of mentioning Oum. I slowly nod. "Pretty sure he's real... He's interfered with lives before this one. Not always, but most times."

The doctor leaned back farther into her chair, now raising her arms behind her head, resting her head in her hands. "I see." No sense of judgement was in her voice. "Does he directly talk to you ever?"

"Never."

"OK." She picked up her clipboard again. "Why do you think he would do this?"

"Honestly... I don't know... I don't think he likes me too much."

The doctor raised an eyebrow. "Why's that?"

I debate if I should speak my mind again, fearing the doctor would really think I'm crazy for believing in this "Oum" nonsense. "I've... done bad things in the past... In other lives... I think he sees me as a sinner. Maybe it's a form of punishment..." I look up at the doctor, who stares back intently. "I don't know... he..." I let out a deep sigh, realizing I've lost my train of thought. "I don't know..."

Dr. Arc quickly jots down a few lines of notes. "Are you deeply religious, (y/n)?"

I slowly shake my head. "Wouldn't say that. I believe Oum's real. I just don't follow his teachings. I don't pray to him or seek validation through him. I just know he's out there."

The doctor scanned over her notes once again. A thinking hum escaped her lips as she looked over every possible diagnosis the Arc could think of. She remained silent for a while before looking up from her clipboard. "(y/n), do you know what schizophrenia is?"

My lips quickly turned pursed. "I don't have schizophrenia."

"Honestly, (y/n), I think it's very likely that you do." Her voice remained calm as she watched my every move.

_____

Third Person POV

(y/n) shook his head. He thought back to Simon, the patient he briefly encountered in the common room. The idea that people would look at (y/n) the same way he looked at Simon unnerved him. People would listen to his stories and not believe anything he'd say, thinking he was some nut who couldn't see the difference between the real world and the world he created. (y/n) wasn't crazy. He knew exactly what he knew. He knew everything he's seen was real and he needed Dr. Arc to know it. "It's not schizophrenia. Em is real. I know she is."

Dr. Arc sighed again. "Schizophrenia is often characterized by a failure to recognize what is real. It's often accompanied by false beliefs, hallucination, paranoia et cetera. There's nothing to be asham-"

"She's not a hallucination." (y/n) cut the doctor off. He gritted his teeth and leaned forward onto the desk.

"Calm down, (y/n)." Dr. Arc gestured him to relax. "I'm gonna prescribe you with some antipsychotics, alright?" They'll help you see things clearer. The delusions will start tapering off an-"

"She's not a delusion." (y/n) glared at the doctor in front of him. His hands balled into fists underneath the desk. "You can't just take Em away from me."

Dr. Arc removed her glasses and leaned forward onto the desk. "Then what are you so afraid of?"

That question got (y/n)'s heart rate to pick up. It scared him more than he'd like to admit. If he did have schizophrenia, Emerald would disappear from (y/n). His entire life would've been a lie. All the pain he's brought onto those around him would've been justified by his mental health. But Emerald has been with him since he was a kid and even farther back to before he could even remember. How could something so fundamental in his life not be real?

(y/n) remained silent, internally debating with himself, in front of the doctor.

Dr. Arc gave (y/n) a sympathetic smile. "The mind is a powerful thing. Everything we experience comes from our brain. Every word you hear, everything you see, the entire world as we perceive it, it's all formed in your brain. When the brain isn't functioning normally, it can create its own experiences. It can act independently from outside stimuli. It's so easy for the mind to believe these experiences are real. It can trick itself into believing what it's experiencing is coming from somewhere else."

(y/n) felt his body shaking in his seat. Dr. Arc's voice became distorted as her mind started panicking. Has everything been a lie? There's no way. Ruby's here. She's living proof. Unless his mind started incorporating her into his delusions. (y/n) hands turned cold and his mouth dried up. What if Emerald never existed? What if he'd fall in love with someone who never existed? How could he ever let go of this woman he had stuck in his mind since he could perceive the world? His stomach churned at the thought.

His mind continued to race until he couldn't understand what Dr. Arc was trying to say. He became overwhelmed with fear, doubt, worry, all until he looked up. His breath got caught in his throat. His eyes grew wide and all of his worries dispersed in an instant.

"Mr. (l/n)?" Dr. Arc's expression became a worried one after (y/n) froze in place. His breathing stopped as his eyes landed on the office window. Dr. Arc's eyebrows knitted together as her eyes followed (y/n)'s line of sight on the window. As she looked out the glass, the young Dr. Sustrai walked passed the room, clipboard and pen in hand.

Time slowed down around (y/n) as his eyes tracked the green haired woman walk past the window. In his mind, there was no doubt that was Emerald. He's seen her every day. He loved her a thousand times over a thousand lives. He knew her face better than an astronaut knew the stars. It had to be her. It was her.

"Wha-" (y/n) wanted to call out, but he couldn't utter a single word. Did he finally lose it? Was he hallucinating? "That...!" (y/n) started breathing heavily. "That's her!" He immediately pushed himself out of the chair and headed for the door. He needed a glimpse of her face. Reaching for the door, he found it was locked.

In a panic, Dr. Arc rose from her seat to calm the man. (y/n), you need to calm down. Take a seat."

"No. No! You don't understand! You need to open this door! I need to talk to her!" (y/n) frantically tried to convince Dr. Arc to see the young doctor.

"(y/n), that's just one of our doctors. Doctor S-"

"Sustrai! I know!" (y/n) shouted, catching the attention of Dr. Sustrai. She looked up, slightly startled by the man who was shouting in Dr. Arc's office. When Emerald turned, she caught (y/n)'s eye. (y/n) froze again. She was as beautiful as always. Beautiful clear red eyes and minty green hair. To see her in front of him was too much. There was no way she was a hallucination. It was too real.

Dr. Sustrai's eyes moved from (y/n)'s to Dr. Arc's. Emerald watched as the Arc tried to convince her patient to sit back down at her desk. Dr. Sustrai looked back at (y/n) one last time before shaking her head and walking down the hall. Something in (y/n)'s eyes unnerved her. Along the hall, a few techs watched as Dr. Arc continued to talk to (y/n), worried if she could get the man to cooperate without external help.

"Where's she going?" (y/n) pressed himself against the glass, hoping he could see down the hall. Emerald continued to walk away. Dr. Arc placed a hand on his shoulder, but he quickly pushed the doctor away. The techs in the hall stood a little straighter, ready to help the doctor. Two techs who stood in front of the office door signalled to each other. (y/n) once again tried the door, but it remained locked.

"(y/n), you need to sit down!"

"It's her! Em! She's here! She-" Then, it hit him. A realization dawned on him. "She doesn't know me here, does she?" He watched as the green haired doctor continued to walk down the hallway, away from (y/n) and the office he was trapped in. "Please, I need to speak with her!" He quickly turned back to Dr. Arc, pleading with his eyes.

Dr. Arc shook her head and crossed her arms. "(y/n), I'm trying to help you. You need to sit down or else I'll have to have you sedated."

"No, I need to see her! It's her!"

"(y/n), if you don't sit do-"

He cut the doctor off. "You don't get it! If I lose this chance, I don-" He aggressively stepped forward in Dr. Arc's direction. In reaction, a swipe of a keycard and a beep signalling granted access sends the office doors open. The two techs assigned to Dr. Arc's office step in and grab (y/n) by the arms.

"What the hell are you doing?!" His voice became loud and panicked. "Get off of me!"

(y/n) continued to struggle in the strong grips of the techs. He yelled and tried to fight back, but with no success. In a swift, practiced motion, one tech inserted a syringe into (y/n)'s arm and pushed the plunger down, injecting him with a sedative. Within seconds, (y/n)'s body became heavy. The strength in his arms dissipated quickly. "Em..." That single name managed to escape his mouth before his eyelids fell, enveloping his world into darkness.

_____

A/N

Definitely a shorter chapter. Hopefully, I can make the next chapter longer.

Let me know if the whole Arc thing is confusing. If it is, I'll change Dr. Arc's name to something else.

2536 words