As predicted, he was back to messing around with some other girl.

Predicted, my ass, I ordered him to.

This particular one has been dogging my step this whole damn time. I guess she was as into Nathaniel as I was. I hate competition. I need a One and Only Ho shirt for these bitches.

I was torn. I had too much pride to fight some other girl for his attention, but I had really screwed us over this time and had reason to beg forgiveness of him. No way in hell...

I couldn't even catch a break with the guys. Barlen, Rocky, and Apollo shifted the night before (the twins' birthday was yesterday, and the purple-haired boy's was today). So, all four could scent the temporary mark Nathan gave me. I couldn't scrub the bruise hard enough to get that part of the bite out. Not even sure that's physically possible. Nate couldn't even scent it out, yet.

They knew where he was. After hearing about our fights for two months, they had a good idea about what had happened.

So, four young shifters were upset, and the rest paid attention to their behaviors enough to know that there was a pending fight coming. No one was dumb enough to ignore what was going on.

The two idiots walked in together and sat down after they picked out their food. It had been so long since Nathan kept a girl around him after he got what he wanted—besides me. I wasn't much of a choice, as this was Stephen's doing. So he chose her and hadn't ever thought to bring me around, except the day of the bet. That hurt like hell.

I didn't even know her name. That's how little I paid attention to her...

She was the only one who was oblivious to the table's tension. Nate looked like he thought he made a mistake but wasn't going to back down. Stupid bozo. "Rachel, you were so last week, why do you hang on so pathetically?"

That was the last time we did anything...affectionate at school, but after school was a different matter. Sure, I was pathetic, but the whole situation was pathetic. Calling me out like that was going to make me go away was not very bright on her part. My eyes crossed at her attempt.

"Don't you roll your eyes at me!" She stood up with her hands on the table. Did she want to fight with me?

That had four shifted werewolves growling under their breath.

Nate didn't say a thing—stupid wolves and wanting to see people fight over them. Instinctual shit. Wasn't even sure he was aware that he should step in and put a stop to it. How much of this is that stone angel and how much of it is him?

But I was, and it wouldn't be by decking her. "Honey, Nathan has no say over where I sit, but he does over where you two go. He chose to put you in front of me. And as for so last week, no, it's more like all last night and this morning, and you're 5 minutes ago. So, since he isn't choosing anyone right now, there are 3 pathetic people at this table. Him for no self-control, me for coming back to him again and again?"

I paused for a rather sinister chuckle. "You? You're dumb for thinking anyone gives a damn about your opinion or what you've done, for that matter. Neither of us will be so last week until his birthday, when he plans on ditching some hos. So, enjoy it while you can—maybe get more than 10 minutes out of him next time?"

Then I went back to eating as if she wasn't there, followed by the sound of flesh hitting flesh, and the scraping back of a chair. I looked up at this chick's arm being firmly held in my baby daddy's grasp. Stephen was standing, gripping the table like he half wanted to throw it. He looked towards Nathan. "Get her the fuck out of here."

Apparently, she tried to hit me and the last thing you do is hit what is the Alpha-apparent's confessed Luna in front of him. Nathaniel would have less understanding of why he stopped her than Stephen.

But I'm glad he did. We've both had enough upset this morning, and a bunch of wolves hardly in control of themselves is not a calming event.

After those two left, Barlen leaned toward me. "Does he know?"

I fight so hard to keep this all together. One tear. One fucking tear and I'm forced to swipe at my face.

"No. I meant to tell him today, but I was too busy fighting with him, and that's not the kind of thing you drop in the middle of... that."

Stephen sighed, "At this rate, he's going to find out when you're in the hospital, Rachael."

4 pairs of knowing eyes and 16 suspicious ones stared at me for the rest of lunch.

~~~

I wasn't the only one trying to hold everything together. No, I'm not talking about Nathan for once. Rick was sitting down on the floor, watching everyone wander off to classes. I sunk down beside him right as the bell rang. It was rather peaceful. I gave it a few minutes before speaking. "What's up, Richard?"

"My birthday was after Stephen's, you know."

Traditionally, the pack shifted anywhere from their 16th birthday to their 18th, and most often, they shifted on date. So, he's going on more than a month after his last chance with no shift.

They all knew that some of them wouldn't make it.

Damn, I shouldn't have been slipping scooby doo gummies in his locker this past week, not with all the wolf photos glued to heart envelopes I stuffed them in. Really shitty timing, and he hated them things.

I thought about his predicament for a moment. "This pack is cursed. First shift, first mate, and first pup. Two have happened already."

"Nathaniel's your mate?"

"No, he's not shifted, yet." The idea that I would have put up with this dumb behavior without rejecting him—especially without a baby? It almost earned Rick a wry grin. "He knocked me up."

"So, he's the Beta?"

"No..."

Rick's eyes went huge in shock. "But you two weren't even..."

I looked at him. Crazy boy couldn't even figure out timing, could he? "It's your fault, you know. Told him to go after the girl walking behind the bunch of you. Took on the first try."

He sighed, scratching the back of his head. "I never did apologize for that did I?"

"I never asked you to." I found myself laughing at the thought. I was perfectly capable of making him pay for it without any apology. Rick may have chosen me, but it was my decision, the whole of it, not his. "It's too late...although I still need to tell him, so you're not the only one with worries."

He put his arm over my shoulder, for that. "He's never been like this over a girl before."

I shrugged. He shouldn't ever be like this in the first place. "He'll be worse when he finds his mate."

"What makes you so sure it can't be you?"

"I ain't that lucky." There. That was the closest I have come to publicly admitting to what I hoped and feared. And I would believe in us more if he wouldn't sleep around, no matter how hard I pushed him.

We sat there for a while, and I rested my head on his shoulder—not a new position for us, over the months. No matter how I felt about any of the other guys, this one was a brother. So many things I didn't write about. "I know the chances of you shifting are getting slimmer by the day, but it may be that your change is going to find your mate, and that's the position left. You're likely waiting on one of the Juniors."

"That would only make sense if my mate was the Gamma, and I'm not gay." He sighed at that thought. "That and there's never been a female Gamma in this pack, and ranking females are very rare."

"There is a female..."

" Amancia isn't mine." He said that rather forcefully. "When we were pups, we'd argue all the time. While the Goddess does choose mates for pack stability—directly bonding two antagonistic werewolves together—we outgrew that stage. We stopped picking, even talking—haven't said a full sentence to her alone in what, 3 years now? We've not done anything to catch Her attention. Hell, I've never even kissed the girl, not in all these years of stupid dares."

"You don't believe that your mate is the other half of your soul?"

"Look, we are in the age of science. Most mates support biology, but the ones that don't? They all focus on forcing us to live peaceably. I've been looking at the cases for years, looking to see a clear point where we can say that yes these mates make each other whole. We all have. For 3, 4 generations this idea of an actual soul-mate has heavily eroded."

And that's what has Nate and I in its grip. I still believe in mates—for others, not a mere human. Rick and Nate are cut from the same cloth and have some serious doubts about their mate being something special. It's why Nathaniel didn't want to wait, and Rick was giving up on shifting.

~~~

Stupid girl's decisions coming in to harm her in 3...2...1...

I decided to skip the last class, that day. Nathan refused to look at me. He had his head down at his desk like I broke him and was done. That's not what I wanted out of us, somehow it hurt even more than his earlier stunt.

I was too involved, like I feared. I had not stepped into any kind of role in their lives other than a hanger-on—which a lot of girls try to do. That little, and it felt stifling.

I wanted to be surrounded by the comforts of home—well, of the house. My family wasn't a comfort. It's not a long walk, so not enough time to finish debating with myself about life and choices by the time I reached my front door.

No sooner than it took to step in, a strong force hit the side of my head, slamming me into the hallway wall. My left ear was ringing, my right temple throbbing from hitting the edge of a frame. It took me a second to clear my head.

I looked up into the face of my father. Rage contorted his features as he yelled at me. I couldn't understand him through the ringing in my ears. Not at first. After getting no response and raising his hand to strike me again—I cowered.

What the hell else was I going to do? Even my internal monologue deserted me while waiting for that second blow. It's been years since I've been hit, but you don't raise a hand back against someone like this unless you want the beating to be worse. You certainly as hell don't fight with your wit without the backup of muscle.

He stopped himself, to shove a paper under my nose like I pissed the floor. It was a receipt for that doctor's visit. He opened my mail, and read the itemized billing for a confirming pregnancy test and ultrasound—along with a handwritten note saying "Congratulations on the new baby!" along with a phone number...which I suspect is that stupid receptionist's. Dr. Marion would be more discrete.

I hate stupid hos. Why do I fear the pack more than this bastard?

By the time I processed all that, my hearing cleared up enough to catch:

"You're just like your mother—pack your shit and get out of here!"

I turned around and scampered back out the door, legs shaking, balance askew. I couldn't walk a straight line so I staggered like a drunk, giving him the veneer of a justified excuse for kicking out his girl in front of his nosy neighbors.

My sperm donor—he hadn't been my father for a long time—didn't know I had already packed. He didn't call me back to get what I left behind or speak again until I grabbed the handle of my bus. Even then, my head was spinning so hard that I surprised myself by making it this far.

I looked back at him with tears in my eyes. No, not from crying as I was still in shock, but because the afternoon sunlight hurt my head so damn much.

"Rachael? Don't come back."

It didn't matter what else I did. I could run away from this fucking town or go and beg forgiveness from Nathan and let him have his whole way to keep a roof over my head. Hell, I could throw myself at the mercy of the previous generation. They weren't out to get me, not yet. My own dad was. Anything would be better than this.

Even if he calmed down and begged for me to come back to the house, there was no coming home to this. He might kill me if I give him a next time.