It was 4 in the morning when someone shook me awake. Groggy as hell, I barely kept myself from lashing out. "Let me be."

"I can't babe. You're sleeping across the dining chairs and I'm in no condition to lift you."

That caused me to shake the muzziness out of my brain and sit up—as disoriented as I was. And I almost fell over.

But not from dizziness. It was from looking at my mate.

I'm sure I mentioned that he doesn't do the whole eye bags from a lack of sleep, right? Well, that's because I've not seen true deprivation on a werewolf before.

Sunken eyes. Dull hair that almost looks like it wants to fall out. Skeletal. If I ever thought he was skinny before? No, this is skinny. He had nothing left to him. "What in the world?!"

"6 shifts in less than 12 hours. I can't carry you up and I can't handle anyone touching you right now. We will start eating as soon as you go get in bed, understand me?"

Despite exhaustion, I managed to put 2 and 2 together quite well and fled the room. No way I was sticking around.

Of course, I couldn't sleep—not until he crawled into bed and curled himself around me. I could feel his fattened stomach pressing into the small of my back, his bony arms barely weighing me down. If it wasn't for what the Goddess gave us, I'd have kicked this stranger out of my bed.

~~~

It must have been 10 when I woke. My mate was staring at me, like the creep he can be. "Do you have anything else you could be doing right now?"

"You."

Why do I leave myself open like this? I still found myself smiling like a doofus. "If that's what you wanted, I figure you would have woke me up instead of staring. Spill it."

"So much went wrong yesterday..."

I sighed—all that did was brush my boobs against him. Not like he was complaining. Can't have a good chest heave this close to a man without it doing something. He buried his face in my cleavage and muttered his reply through a face full of tits. Men. "I can't hear you..."

I said you don't ever ask me to tell you about it.

"Well, I'm in no position to act on what you tell me. What am I going to do, go beat someone up? Lead a rescue? I mean, if I was forced to, I'd move heaven and earth to protect what belongs to me, but you're better suited for it. So, yeah, don't worry me with what's unnecessary...but you need to talk, so I'll deal."

"They had stopped for the night and were in the middle of arguing over May's pregnancy. Was it a selling point or not? It got to where they were throwing punches. One knocked the other on top of May and strangled the dude to death. Then he slapped her upside the head like she was the cause of their insanity."

I almost did an inverted whistle—not something I can actually do, but you get the expression. "Is she ok?"

"No, that was the start of it. She's in the hospital now. After your checkup, we'll go see them."

I growled in frustration. Yeah, effeminate, human, that really was working for me.

Nathaniel laughed before nipping at me.

"Hey, watch the nipples, bud!"

"You have no idea how much I want you right now."

That caused me to pause and squirm around until I cupped him—a faint twitch, but flaccid. "Uh, no you don't."

"Spirit is willing, but flesh is weak, babe." That's when he quit playing around and explored every inch of me that he could reach.

So many things flit through my mind as I lit up like a damned Christmas tree. Scenes from yesterday, thoughts that have plagued me all my life, how messed up my mate looked today... Hell, I didn't look all that great myself: pregnant and stressed beyond belief.

But the bond doesn't care where you are at. It makes it easier to get where you need to be.

I was heavily whimpering for relief by the time he pressed two fingers inside of me and teased my nerve endings damn near raw. Around the 3rd time I found release, I went to swat at him. "Stop fucking around!"

His free hand came up to grip mine. "Don't."

It was low, feral.

Oh shit.

I was about to meet a virtual stranger. I thought his wolf had split off last night, finally, and this was the proof.

My mate looked up at me. Dark stubble peeked through his normal gold, forearms bulked up—not near as thin as he was last night, not quite normal either. And yes, claws and teeth were present—the former delicately rested against my wrist.

He has them extended inside me?! That thought caused me to clench down on his fingers. I couldn't tell if it was fear or desire that caused me to do that.

The last time I saw a wolf come this far forward with all the accouterments, it was in extreme distress.

He kissed my wrist right below his grip then let go. I moved his tousled hair out of his eyes so I could see them. They say that it's rare that the wolf and man's eyes match, and I really haven't had a chance to look this intently at him.

There was no real change to their bi-tonal hue, just more ordered, less chaotic. It was like there was a designated place for the depths to recede, giving an iced donut look to his iris. When not exhausted, and perhaps only his eyes giving away the personality change, I'd have to pay close attention to see the wolf in the man. The dark void of transitioning didn't have much to do with who was in control, as much as this final form did.

"Like what you see?" He said this as he wiggled his fingers inside me.

It took me a second to find my voice—or my focus. "Couldn't imagine another view, Nnnn...have you picked out a name?"

"Ryder." With that, he removed his fingers and carefully made his way up my body to hover over me. "We're both here."

I relaxed after that. Trust my mate to know what I needed to hear.

He nibbled his way across my jaw, the act of leaning in bringing his manhood close enough to brush against my growing belly—that shocked me.

No, not the contact, I'm used to the intimacy by now. I reached down between us to grasp something that felt more like a billyclub than a cock. "What the fuck, Ryder?!"

The bastard smirked, "I didn't just bring forward some prissy nails, my love."

"Aren't you afraid you might break something?"

He mumbled his response as he made his way down my throat in petal soft kisses. I almost didn't hear him. "You were made for me, and I for you. Trust Her to know what fits."

"But won't this stretch me out?"

"Not for long." He aligned himself with me, then he claimed a nipple as he worked his way in ever deeper. Minutes, hours, days, hell, who knew the eldritch way that time flows while adjusting to a shaft the very Goddess blessed. He started gently, then after that? Testing my thresholds. This part felt like it took no time before he was hitting me so hard that I could hear the sound of flesh pounding. It was so tight I could feel me tugging on his skin, asking for it to stay a while, right before he surged forward again.

Everything was pressure—nearly unbearable, certainly unrelenting. It was a wholly new feeling as he didn't once let either of us touch my clit. He wanted nothing to aid his stroke.

"Ryder!" I wanted to cry—I mean ugly sobbing. Getting his name out wasn't the problem. I needed this orgasm and it wasn't there, yet. So he lifted me off the bed a little, nails digging into my cheeks, and showed me there was at least another inch to go.

I shrieked when it finally hit. Clamped down so hard he couldn't move and thoroughly soaked the both of us.

He fought to get another stroke in before cumming, himself.

After-climax throbbing—I highly recommend that.

Ryder almost collapsed on me. He knew he was taking a risk, not being in peak condition. Instead, he patted the baby bump and sat up—still stuck.

It wasn't him. I was so fluid-swollen that there was no safe way to disengage until after the swelling went down. He certainly wasn't going to go soft. Not a very long wait, thankfully. "Do you want another round, little one?"

Ah, there goes traditional wolf behavior.

I'm by no means tiny, but compared to the size these wolves get, I'll never feel like I can reach the top shelf when standing next to them. I have to remind myself that I don't need the help. Not like Billie would let me near her top shelves to test if I've somehow magically shrunk down to fun-sized.

I had to think about it. Normally, I'd go for a half-dozen, but this 1 time left me sated. "I don't think I can handle or need any more of that, thanks."

Despite how lean he looked, Ryder managed to show off that boyish grin of Nate's that had captured the whole of my heart so early on. "I told him that a few extra inches would be rewarding."

His eyes shifted, diffusing back to their deeply marbled state. The smile was gone, wiped right off his face. "So not only do you like the bigger dick he brings but he can hold a conversation that far gone. I guess you don't want me in control anymore?"

I don't care who the man is, performance is their insecurity. If I asked this of him, he'd let go, but if I took Nathaniel's side, Ryder would be diminished as well.

And this was so abrupt. Damn fool was blathering on through exhaustion about my needs when he should be euphoric instead of depressed. This was as bad as if he had tried to give me a marathon the day he pulled me out of that cell. He made me sleep. He should have slept, this time. Despite the addictive nature of what my mate does to me, we didn't have to do this.

I felt bad for a split second, feeling so...satiated. I couldn't help the small snort of laughter over the situation, though. "Look, each of you has your benefits. I want you both and I want you both ways. It's a good idea to let the marathons with multiple courses be you. The times when you want to show off my bowlegged waddle without a chance of other men turning my head, let Ryder loose. Hell, you want to do everything? Switch midst-thrust, both take charge. I don't care. If you think I'm going to be less than pleased? Hell, he said I was made for this, might as well let me enjoy the diversity within you."

And it wasn't like he was small in the first place!

I don't get this.

~~~

It took a bit more conversation to calm my mate down. Dissatisfaction causes the rift between man and beast, so young wolves are sometimes plagued by the loathing and self-doubt that their new creature dredges from the depths of their memories.

Ah, my strong suit.

As we've all made cringe-worthy mistakes in the past, I had to feel for him. But then, this is a late split. Perhaps it was easier on younger shifters.

He went downstairs for breakfast, once he had washed us both from head to toe in our double-shower. Perks of an Alpha suite. Perks of a devoted mate.

The big cat wasn't the only creature they killed yesterday. A mixed herd of prey came out of nowhere to prevent them from getting to Chana in time. The crowd was much larger than what was killed, but the boys brought home 3 Moose, 4 Elk, 6 Mule-deer and Whitetail apiece, and 1 lone Bison. That excludes anything they ate out there.

Organ meats were for breakfast—hence why I wasn't leaving the room, not even to eat. I'm not British, last I checked. What had woke us up was the Omegas hitting the stairs with roasts. The designer of this mansion decided that the whole pack house should double as a smokehouse. The old central column of chimneys had hooks that you reached on the inside of the flue through ancient cast-iron doors.

Thankfully a much-later Alpha had the old chimneys heat-shielded when they renovated the whole building for central air and heat. We wouldn't be miserable heating the house in this weather.

Someone brought me up an American breakfast...well, lunch, by then. Yay for post-sex healthy appetite because I wolfed it down—pardon the pun—and took off to my attic space.

It was a quick look around to assess where we were at. Most of the stacks and stacks of old chairs had been repurposed. These children wanted extra seating in their rooms. Males are pretty territorial, but this batch was female-dominated, which often means mating out of the pack. The 3 boys probably wouldn't be left mateless, knowing how girls don't like leaving their home—fuck tradition.

Some of the chunkier ancient furniture such as the queen or king beds made their way back in. Those weren't going anywhere because as soon as they had a mate they'd go back down. Dust covers over the good mattresses, eucalyptus branches stuffed between the layers...still easier to stack than chairs.

The space was straightening out rather epically. They didn't need my hovering, today.

'I thought you'd be up here. Are you ready to go?"

"Sure." I turned to look at Nate as he stepped into my personal space, and was relieved that he looked like his normal self. Hopefully, his attitude had improved, as well.

"I'm sorry for..."

About the only time I'm tempted to shove a finger up his nose is when I want to shush the man. Of course, I behave better than that. I placed my finger over his lips instead. So soft..."I'm sworn to carry your burdens."

Of course, he cracked up. Much better than angsty moping.