So I resently got a new less buggy phone! I should be getting more chapters out along with new stories out soon... potentially...

So I feel like I owe you guys an explanation as to why the hell I've been seemingly ignoring my books...
The reason for my long absence is because not only was my old phone extremely buggy(that's more of an excuse...) but it's been discovered that I have a muscle issue in my right and left wrists.

This issue is due to my obsessive drawing, writing, and other stuff that requires wrist movement. It causes me pain to just move my wrists much less do anything I would like to do. There is a surgery I can go through to fix the damage in my wrists but I'm too young for the surgery and I myslelf am terrified to go through it...

(it's going to turn into ranting throughout this point so if you want to skip your more then welcomed to)

I use art and writing as a stressrelif in my very stressful life. But now my own stressrelif is causing me more stress and pain. With stress from my already very unsupportive family, family drama, plus school testing that I have to do to graduate from high school. Lest just say it's a very bad time to have this muscle issue right now...

My doctor was actually surprised I had this issue at such a young age. Since she normally sees this in 30 to 40+ year-olds maybe the occasional workaholic 20 year old. I can't have the surgery tell I'm 20, 18 at the least if the pain and damage is severe enough(which it might be now).

The surgery itself scares me cuz I'm aware of the risks of a surgery so close to my wrists nerves... My best friend has slight nerve damage in one of her wrists due to a nurse digging a needle into her rist during something (I'm not sure of the details on what she was going through then but still). I'm terified of lossing my wrists. I'm terrifed of lossing my ability to create art to write the stories that run wild in my head. I've heard(and met) of artist learning to draw with both hands because of such fear but I have it in both wrists and I've already tried teaching myself already... the best I can do is write my name in chicken scratch and feed myself...

And something else thats scaring me now has to do with the issuse itself...I can normally shrug off pain like it's no big deal especially since I have a high pain tolerance (that actually scares some doctors, that I've seen over the years if that tells you anything), but the fact that I can feel the pain in my wrists and enough so that some days I can't control my wrists from shaking is beyond terrifying for me. I've severely sprained my ankle once and everyone thought I broke it, even then I never felt much. Sure the injury bugged me but that was it, I didn't feel pain.

The one case we're I did feel pain and actually ended up crying was mostly due to the fact I was young(7-9), saw blood, and the fact a weed wacker nearly took off my pinky toe(I still have all 5 toes don't worry about it). I was surprised into crying and I was scared due to the fact it took 15 or 20 minutes (I have a terrible internal clock) for my family to find me. Even though they were outside in the backyard while I was in the frontyard screaming with my young Irish gifted voice box. That's how concerned my family was for me 😒. I'm sure our neighbors would have heard me if they weren't out and about. It wasn't as bad as it looked and I didn't need stitches. My flip flop was actually the thing that saved my foot from further and far worse damage. (thank you shoeware that mother hates with a burning passion 🙏)

Then there's also the fact of school...
Not alot of my teachers even know of my wrists much less friends. The only people that know is my family and very close friends. Its also is the time of year were I'm required to take like 30 test in order to leave the hell that is high school. Only a portion of those tests I'm actually taking on the computer though it doesn't really matter for me cuz both still require my wrists to move.

So yeah a lot of stress for me at the moment and I'm sorry for not being able to continue the books I have. I will write when I can and as soon as I can.

So see you all around

~Claws out

:3