❛ I saw you in a dream, you had stayed the same, you were beckoning me said that I had changed. ❜

SEASON 1, EPISODE 7
this is happening

NIKITA WAS RELIEVED when Bash had been asked to go on recognizance with Black Pete, Roach, Jim, and Oluwande in order to find oranges for the Swede. The poor man had come down with scurvy, and they were out of oranges to help curb the symptoms.

⠀⠀⠀The past few weeks with Bash had been nice. They watched the sunset every evening, and she could talk without feeling like she was stepping on glass. But then, Bash would kiss her, and Nikita's mouth would go numb, and her mind would blank. She wished for the feeling to be over, and when it was, nothing changed.

⠀⠀⠀Every night he slept with her, his arms wrapped around her waist, and she would lie there like a board. She could not sleep, her eyes wide open and her mind a whirling wind of questions with no answers.

⠀⠀⠀Nikita believed that the numb feeling would fester into comfort and love as time passed. However, there was nothing to them in her eyes, just friends that kissed and fucked. Nikita couldn't break it off either because without the latter, what were they?

⠀⠀⠀Watching the sunsets together and talking for hours always hurt her in the end because Nikita would grow warm, feeling accepted by Bash. But, then, it would change into the night, and that warm feeling settled into cold as his calloused hands held her and his breath panted in her ear.

⠀⠀⠀Now, with Bash on his mission, Nikita could hold the day to herself. She sat in Stede's room, listening to him babble about a treasure map as she flipped through one of his picture books. She ignored the long texts on the other pages that she couldn't read and sat fascinated over the delicate drawings.

⠀⠀⠀"Read it and weep, my friend!" Stede exclaimed, wiping his hand over the page with a grandiose smile. "Adventure awaits."

⠀⠀⠀"Look, mate, I hate to be a downer, but..." Blackbeard began with a slight frown, walking away from the window and over to the couch. "People just don't bury treasure. It's just not done."

⠀⠀⠀"Well, why make a map?" Stede asked, unconvinced.

⠀⠀⠀"He's saying the map's not real," Lucius interpreted over his shoulder as he piled things onto his arms for the hunt.

⠀⠀⠀"What?! Course it's real! Look at it. Tatty edges, it's burnt, it's been around, it's seen things!" Stede argued wholeheartedly, holding his hand out toward the map.

⠀⠀⠀"If it were real, why would she have sold it to you?" Blackbeard asked, raising an eyebrow. "Why not keep the map and find the treasure herself?"

⠀⠀⠀"Oh, strong question. Love that," Lucius commented under his breath.

⠀⠀⠀"Well, maybe she's just lazy," Stede surmised. "I mean, she works down at the dock selling maps, for God's sake."

⠀⠀⠀"Best of luck to you, mate. I'm taking a nap," Blackbeard said dismissively, flopping back on the couch.

⠀⠀⠀"Last I heard, a ship only has one captain!" Stede exclaimed, standing up haughtily and staring down at Blackbeard determined. "And the Captain of this vessel says on your feet! We're having a day... once I've changed."

⠀⠀⠀Stede turned on his heels and turned to change.

⠀⠀⠀"Is he always this high strung?" Blackbeard asked Lucius.

⠀⠀⠀"Yeah."

⠀⠀⠀"Do I have to go?" Nikita asked.

⠀⠀⠀"Yea," Blackbeard said dramatically, wide-eyed as if she were stupid to even ask.

"SO, WE'RE EITHER here or possibly down here," Stede mused, pointing around the map wildly in his hand. He noticed Blackbeard holding his hands over his face, his shoulders hunched, and his eyes directed toward the dirt path. "Why're you hiding your face?"

⠀⠀⠀"I'm freakin' Blackbeard, man!" he snapped back, turning to look at him wildly. "I can't be seen treasure hunting."

⠀⠀⠀"Oh, come on," Stede groaned. "We're in the middle of nowhere. No one's gonna recognize you."

⠀⠀⠀"Hey, Blackbeard!" a merchant called as if on cue. "Treasure, treasure hunting!"

⠀⠀⠀Blackbeard stormed over to the man, raising his knife to the man's neck, and hissed, "Shut the fuck up, okay? I'm not Blackbeard. Fuck off."

⠀⠀⠀The merchant scampered away as quickly as he could, and Blackbeard returned to them with a scowl.

⠀⠀⠀"Very sly," Nikita commented, raising a brow in amusement.

⠀⠀⠀"Shut up," Blackbeard snapped at her, darting his eyes wildly around them. "Right... I'll be hiding over there by that tree whenever you decide wherever the fuck it is we're going."

⠀⠀⠀Blackbeard trudged off, attempting to cover his face again. Nikita turned to Lucius and Stede, then followed after Blackbeard. She'd much rather be in her father's odd company than people she still considered strangers.

NIKITA ALWAYS WENT with Blackbeard when they docked on land. Surprisingly, she was a better landlubber than he was. Between sketchy merchant and pesky bugs, Blackbeard was a terrifying, chaotic mess that only Nikita could reign into ease. But, even then, he was hardly contained.

⠀⠀⠀Blackbeard had a hard time adjusting to the newness of land every time he left his ship. It was like he was made from the waves and the sky and had no previous life on land. Nikita could remember living on the ground within the orphanage that she ran from. Her legs righted themselves like meeting an old friend, and the bugs were annoying, but she got used to them soon enough.

⠀⠀⠀Unlike Blackbeard.

⠀⠀⠀"Fuck off, flies!" Blackbeard exclaimed, swatting his hands in front of his face wildly. Lucius walked beside Blackbeard while Nikita was behind them.

⠀⠀⠀"They're not that bad. They really are full of blood, though, aren't they? Like little flying grapes," Lucius said unhelpfully, making Nikita grimace. Then, Lucius choked and said, "I think I just swallowed one!"

⠀⠀⠀"At least you got lunch," Blackbeard grumbled. "I'm fuckin' starving."

⠀⠀⠀"Guys! Come quick! I've found something!" Stede shouted up ahead. The three found him by a palm. He slowly turned to them, producing a pink and yellow moth resting on his finger. "Dryocampa Rubicunda, or the candied melon silk moth. A very rare specimen. See? We're already finding stuff."

⠀⠀⠀"Great, you found a bug. Cheers," Blackbeard muttered, unamused as he turned away.

⠀⠀⠀"And who says treasure maps are useless?" Lucius asked. He quickly corrected himself and said, "I wasn't being sarcastic. That's just how I talk."

⠀⠀⠀"Oh, laugh all you want," Stede waved them off, unbothered. "But without the map, we wouldn't have found this little guy, so it's already paying dividends."

⠀⠀⠀Blackbeard took a second look at the moth, his eyes softening just the slightest as he mumbled, "Suppose it is pretty interesting for an insect."

⠀⠀⠀His momentary ease was quickly ruined as another fly flew into his face.

⠀⠀⠀"Fuck off!" Blackbeard yelled, flapping his hands around himself before throwing them back at his sides and heading off. "Fuck this! I'm goin' back to the ship."

⠀⠀⠀"Thank god," Nikita muttered, following after him.

⠀⠀⠀"Oh, come on! We're having fun!" Stede called after him. "You know what your problem is? You just have no idea how to relax! Does he, Lucius?"

⠀⠀⠀"I mean, you are kind of intense, like... all of the time," Lucius agreed, coming up behind Nikita as the three stopped in a clearing.

⠀⠀⠀Blackbeard jumped, turning to Lucius with wild eyes as he glared at him.

⠀⠀⠀"No, I'm not. I know how to relax," Blackbeard said quickly. He turned to the tree beside him and awkwardly leaned against it, raising his hands dramatically. "See? I'm actually quite relaxed right now."

⠀⠀⠀"You look like you have a stick up your ass," Nikita told him blandly.

⠀⠀⠀"No, I—" he started to argue, but a snake fell from the tree, and suddenly Blackbeard was in fight or flight mode. He grappled the snake between his hands, twisting and turning it, smacking it against the ground, then let it lay in the leaves. Finally, he unsheathed his knife and stabbed the snake repeatedly before letting out a bellowing, "Die!"

⠀⠀⠀Stede approached nervously, staring at Blackbeard, then turned to his map.

⠀⠀⠀"According to the map, there are snakes in this area, so... just be careful."

⠀⠀⠀The four ended up eating the snake for lunch, taking a break to sit on the forest floor with fire between them. Stede and Blackbeard sat on a log together, opposite Lucius and Nikita. They had started to eat their portions while Lucius worked on cooking the other snake for himself and Nikita.

⠀⠀⠀"Admit it. This is a bit of fun, isn't it?" Stede asked with a fond smile. His mood is unswayed by his friends.

⠀⠀⠀"Yep. The snake's nice," Blackbeard agreed, already relaxing with some food in his stomach.

⠀⠀⠀"It's actually really well tenderized. You could be a chef," Stede complimented.

⠀⠀⠀"Probably could," Blackbeard agreed. "Maybe I will. I can do anything."

⠀⠀⠀"I'd come to your restaurant," Stede told him.

⠀⠀⠀"Well, you might not get in," Blackbeard stated with a shrug. "It's gonna be very popular."

⠀⠀⠀"You'd save me a seat, wouldn't you?" Stede asked.

⠀⠀⠀Nikita furrowed her brows, a small frown taking over her lips as she darted her eyes between the two of them.

⠀⠀⠀"Maybe... if you weren't being a dick," Blackbeard muttered. "What night do you wanna come?"

⠀⠀⠀"Saturday night."

⠀⠀⠀"That's a busy night."

⠀⠀⠀"I'll come on Monday."

⠀⠀⠀"Okay, I can probably get you in," Blackbeard said, nodding his head. "It's called Blackbeard's Bar and Grill and Other Delicacies... and Delights... and Fishing Equipment."

⠀⠀⠀"Yeah, but who wants to go to dinner, and then you walk past all this fishing gear that you can buy," Stede criticized with a frown. Then, his eyes brightened with the idea of making it work. "Maybe a gift shop out the back. Then you can say, 'Oh, hope you enjoyed your meal. Have you seen the gift shop?'"

⠀⠀⠀"What do they say?" Blackbeard asked, intrigued.

⠀⠀⠀"'Oh, no thanks. I've just come for a nice meal,'" Stede said.

⠀⠀⠀"That's, aw..." Blackbeard said, disappointed. "Then, now, they're angry."

⠀⠀⠀"No!" Stede exclaimed.

⠀⠀⠀"They're gonna leave a bad review," Blackbeard muttered.

⠀⠀⠀"Another guy from the other side of the room might go, 'Oh, I'm into gifts. I'll go and have a look.'"

⠀⠀⠀"Ah, yeah! That's the guy I'm after. I want him to come. Who's he?" Blackbeard asked, eyes bright with excitement.

⠀⠀⠀"That's me," Stede said cheekily, smiling from ear to ear.

⠀⠀⠀"Aw!" Blackbeard exclaimed, having not seen that twist coming.

⠀⠀⠀Lucius turned his head slightly, and Nikita noticed from the corner of her eye. She looked at him, catching his gaze to see he was thinking the same as her.

⠀⠀⠀"Ooh, you've got a... little bit in your beard," Stede said to Blackbeard, catching their attention once again.

⠀⠀⠀"Oh," Blackbeard muttered, picking at his beard blindly.

⠀⠀⠀"No, come to the... down a bit. Just up, up a little bit. To the, to the left. Here, I'll get it," Stede finally relinquished, pulling a scrap of meat from Blackbeard's beard and throwing it aside.

⠀⠀⠀"Oh my God, this is happening," Lucius muttered, his jaw-dropping, and Nikita slapped him in the arm.

⠀⠀⠀"What?" both men asked, turning to him in confusion.

⠀⠀⠀"Nothing," Nikita assured them.

⠀⠀⠀Nikita hardly listened further, growing restless where she sat. Her mind raced a hundred miles a minute because as she stared at Blackbeard and Stede, blind to one another, she realized she didn't see this in her relationship. Nikita and Bash talked to one another, staring at sunsets, but her stomach didn't clench in anticipation as it did watching her father and Stede. Her eyes didn't soften and held Bash in the warmest regard as these two. She spoke to Bash as she would to Lucius. She let him kiss, touch, and fuck her because she thought that was what it was supposed to be like.

⠀⠀⠀Nikita's eyes watered, and she stood, leaving the group before they could notice the weakness.

⠀⠀⠀"Nikki?" Blackbeard called, his tone riddled with confusion. She heard him whisper to the others, then the sound of his footsteps approaching. Hurriedly, she climbed the nearest tree and tried to hide between the leaves.

⠀⠀⠀Blackbeard appeared a moment later. He looked left and right, nearly leaving her to her hiding place, before shooting his gaze up and finding her with ease.

⠀⠀⠀"Y'know, I can still figure out where you're hiding, even out here," Blackbeard scolded her. He pulled himself up the first branch and climbed until he met her at a similar height. "See, told you I could still climb."

⠀⠀⠀Nikita let out a soft chuckle, then rested her face between her knees. She stared at him and then turned away, embarrassed.

⠀⠀⠀"Nikki, what's wrong? Are you mad at me again? I promise I'll save a seat for you at my restaurant. Always," Blackbeard consoled her, resting his hand on her knee.

⠀⠀⠀Nikita let out another laugh, then shook her head.

⠀⠀⠀"No, it's not..." she muttered, railing off. She kept silent for a few minutes, and Blackbeard didn't try to push. Then, when she was ready, she asked, "When you're... when you like someone. How do you know?"

⠀⠀⠀"Ah, we're talking about Bash, right?" Blackbeard asked. An amused smile filled his face as he readjusted himself on his branch to a more comfortable sitting position. "Well, I haven't liked many women in my time, hardly ever been in love... besides you, darling."

⠀⠀⠀Nikita rolled her eyes and muttered, "I didn't say love."

⠀⠀⠀"Right, but it might be helpful to understand," Blackbeard explained with a shrug. He turned away, staring at the trees ahead of them. "But the one time I did, I had felt like I'd known them my whole life. When I was around them, time stopped, and I always had this creeping feeling that I might lose who I was. They always say you get butterflies, but that's a lie. That's the anticipation, the nervousness, but if you feel comfortable, feel happy in their presence, in all the ways, you're likely on the right track."

⠀⠀⠀Nikita turned to him, her lips thinning as she held back her tears and just tried to listen.

⠀⠀⠀Blackbeard let out a deep sigh and continued, "Sadly, I had to kill them. Betrayed me and my crew, but..." He looked at Nikita, whose expression had gone from contemplative to unamused. "That last part isn't too helpful, sorry. It's all very confusing, but I think you know the answer."

⠀⠀⠀Blackbeard gave her a warm smile, brushing his hand over the top of her head, then left Nikita to collect herself.

⠀⠀⠀Nikita sighed, staring at the sun shining onto her face, and said to herself, "Yeah, I do."

AUTHOR'S NOTE —

Hee hee, here's the next chapter! I've been so happy to see all the positive comments on this fic and I'm so grateful to see those comments that say this is their favorite fic. It's very heartwarming.

SONG: Saw You In A Dream by The Japanese House

Thank you for reading! Please leave a comment if you'd like. However, this is an all kind of reader safe space. So even if you ghost read or comment every chapter, I hope you know it means the world to me that you've come into this fic ♡ I hope you enjoyed this chapter, and until the next one.