Ashok slumped on his couch with a heavy sigh and rubbed his forehead. He came after a 24 hour shift and he was under a heavy headache. He shouted for his coffee to his mom then realized they all went on a pilgrimage tour. 

Can It get any more harder , he thought to himself.  He is now a well known Cardiologist and his fame doesn't end there . He does the usual general doctors stuff too at a low price and that earned him more peace than any other .

He slowly got up from his couch and got rid of his scrubs after refreshing and decided to eat out . He zoomed out in his car to his favorite restaurant and decided to pick a corner seat with no disturbances. He became so quiet after everything happened in his life .

He still thinks about Harini sometimes but not in the love kinda way rather as the motivation he needed . He totally pushed the thought of loving someone from that day , many people have approached him and he always sent them back with empty hands .

He could have accepted anyone but his heart didn't feel anything, it didn't miss a beat , it didn't drum frantically, it didn't make him fly , it didn't scream at him . All it did was being quiet always , it gave him a sense of peace , sometimes hell on earth.

He quickly ordered his usual and started his usual routine of looking around the city with its never ending lights and cars running. It gave him peace , to know that everybody is running to reach something.

Suddenly a voice caught his attention he turned his head towards the sweet voice but that didn't make him turn his head . He gave his attention because he was so accustomed to that voice, that voice belonged to none other than his favorite confidante, his friend , his co-worker. There she was making people at ease around her he thought and smiled. 

She came straight to his table and sat down without even greeting him, he was curious as who might have made her angry or moody. He kept staring at her until she chose to see him , she lifted her head slowly and cautiously . He has never seen her nervous , she was the spontaneous fountain but today something seemed or made her nervous and he became more curious.

There was some war with herself in her eyes , he didn't like it but chose to keep his silence. She cleared her throat. He sensed the sudden shift in air , his heart beat rising , his heart beating against his chest to be left open , he was perplexed by the sudden actions of his heart after being dormant for years now. 

Her voice brought him out of his inner turmoil now , "Ash" she called and his heart skipped a beat and started to thump faster against his rib wanting to come out . Her tone had some weariness , some happiness , some fear he couldn't place his hand in anything correctly , he nodded his head to continue and she took her cue.

"Ik you haven been through so much Ash, nee neraya go through panita. Ana don't you think you haven been keeping yourself safe so much now. Not even trying to see if your heart is healed or not. Nee elarayum apdiyae dismiss panidrayae da , not even giving them chance to prove themselves , Don't they deserve it!! "  she asked in a flow with so much bitterness and pain . He caught every word that was thrown but his heart and mind focused on her pain more than he wanted to see .

Ashok POV :

"College la irunthu kooda iruken , I have seen you , I have been with you , Don't I deserve it Ash !" she asked and my world stopped now . What's happening here . no no no I've kept myself safe like she said , I don't know if I'm ready , I don't know if I can love someone again. That pain was too much for me and it took me years.

Again her voice flowed in the air , pulling me out of the panic I'm having , the mental breakdown I'm having .

Yen en vazhvil vandhaai kanna nee
Povaayo kaanal neer polae thondri
Annaivarum urangidum iravinum neram
Ennakadhu thazhaiyannai nanaithidum neram

The lyric conveyed perfectly what she had to say but she kept going to explain herself , to make herself known . Despite having an inner turmoil running , my heart seemed to focus on her more than ever. "Ena oru 4 years aagirukum ah namba college mudichi, but do you know when my heart skipped it's  first beat , the same day yours skipped but for another person . It should have crushed me , it indeed did too , but something kept me afloat . Your friendship kept me afloat . I have seen my love of the life , love someone , loose them , hide them self  and make themselves hard as rock . I stood through it all Ash. Every day was heaven and hell for me . Enna da pannatum nan ."

"I kept swimming harder to be beside you always , nan inaiku ivlo successfull ah iruken ah athuku nee thaan full reason , you pulled me out when I was drowning . Drowning in you but you didn't know it . You kept pulling me out , but I found myself loosing myself more in you Ash. "

Kannae thadumaari nadanthen
Noolil aadum mazhayaagi ponen
Unnal thaan kalaignaai aanenae
Thozhai thoorathil velicham nee
Unnainokiyae ennai irrkiraaiyae ..

"Atlast now I'm lost totally Ash, Ik you are not ready , ik yiu are not even ready to fathom the idea of me being in love with you , Ik it all sounds completely ridiculous to you but It's all true Ash. Every single word is true . Enna da panatum nan , enna seiven....."

Melum melum urugi urugi unnai enni

Engum idhayathai enna seiven... oooh oh

Unnai enni engum idhayathai enna seiven

"Nan unta answer keka varala Ash . Enoda elathayum kuduthutu poga vandhen. Naan Australia pora opportunity ku okay solten , as you wished ana ithulam solama po mudiyala da . Sollama poita, my guilt will kill me . Thayavasenji thappa nenachikatha but I needed to say my best kept secret to my confidante and I did. Ash I don't seek any answer from you." , she said with teary eyes trying to be strong as always , but who else knows her better than me to find that she is holding herself up to not loose more . She wiped her tears away and sported a smile for my sake to let me know that she is fine without knowing my answer. 

I wanted to answer , I wanted to shout the answer at her , I wanted to tell her that I'm not ready yet to love anyone . That I'm mot healed yet , That I'm not the right person for her . I wanted to scream more and more and shake her out of this drowning love that she is telling. She is an angel and she doesn't deserve this. I wanted to tell all these but I found myself sitting like a rock who didn't hear the pain in her voice , the guilt in her voice , the fear in her voice .

I looked at her eyes , worst mistake I thought to myself , They pleaded me to say something but I couldn't tell anything . I had 1001 things to say to her but I found every one of them to be plain lie. 

She shook her head after giving me the time I needed to process everything . "Ash" she called and I looked at her , she shook her head "Ashok I'm Leaving ...." she said . Then hit the biggest boulder in my life . The situation before my eyes was clear and shattering , I told her to accept the offer , I always wished her best but I didn't understand or grasp the weight of the words until it came from her mouth . Her leaving me will be a big void in my life , and after her confession everything seemed to change suddenly , I wondered why . I want her best but I can't loose her . I am stuck in a never ending vortex which sucking my soul out now . 

I looked at her again , she was looking at me longingly . I failed to notice it in the past years but here they are crystal clear and I couldn't stand before it . My legs were threatening to give up , I could feel my eyes turning misty but I'm not gonna hold her back I promised to myself suddenly. 

"Ash...", she hesitated a bit . "I Love You and I'm leaving now ." she told like its a final hit and my heart stopped . My breath caught on its way and it struggled to reach the outer world where it can run free or reach her atleast . 

She hit me with the biggest blow and there she goes hurting her more and breaking herself more . I saw her running away from me , like the sand slipping from our hands , like the time slipping from our hands . I felt her slip away from me and I slumped in my seat again tears running from eyes hot as the summer wind . 

I made her go away , I felt her slipping away and I did nothing . This struck my heart like a lightning bolt straight into my chest making it crumble into ashes . I never felt anything to anyone , my heart never responded to me . Suddenly I remembered her words "You kept yourself safe" , yes I've kept myself safe , safe for years that I forgot that I locked them away to some distant land where nobody could reach . 

But memories hit me straight , the moment we became friends , the journey we went through , her all giddy around me , her being the overprotective one , her care and affection , her possesiveness over me , her constant attention to me , her being there for me atlast her confession . It all came rushing like a forest river not knowing the damage it does to the forest . 

Yes like the tress that uproot due to the river , my heart was toppled upside down in a matter of seconds . My world became so much clear , I got all the answers to my questions . I stood up and wanted to run , run to her but my legs failed , it was all overwhelming . I made myself reach home and slumped in my bed . I took some important decisions and slept . 

I reached the hospital early today but it was eerily calm today , I went to reception to check up on her and the answer I found totally broke me . They informed me that she is transferred already and she left yesterday . It all came over me like a huge and heavy wave and drowned me totally . I informed them about my absence today and told them reschedule all my appointments . 

I went home and shut myself up , it feels like everything is happening again now . I felt angry towards myself and before i could do anything worse , I decided on my next step and got ready . I reached Australia in a jiffy but it felt like eternity has passed already. I made my way towards her house and knocked it and there she came . "MY ANGEL".

Orunal sirithen marunal veruthen
Unainan kollamal kondru puthaithenae
Mannipaaya ..mannipaaya ..mannipaaya

I sang and it felt right , it seemed the perfect apology and she fucking deserved it . I continued. 

Odum Neeril orr alaithaan nan

Ullae ulla eeram neethanVaram kidaithum naan thavaravitenMannipaaya anbae

"Neha , I'm sorry that I have been such a coward , I have been blind , I have been senseless " I said and tears were already storming from her face . IDK what impression I gave her now but all that matters is to make her forgive me for losing her even when I didn't realize I had her . 

"Nee sona mari nee ipdi successfull ah iruka nan kaaranam ah irukalam ana nan manushan ah irukarthukey nee thaan d reason . You always made sure I'm being my best , you brought the bests in me , you handled the worst in me . Enaku terla Ne yaarachum ivlo love panuvangala nu , I will never know how it would feel to see our loved one loving someone else . En d enta solala , en oru vaati kooda solala , Unna ipdi pakathulayae vachitu nan enoda wounds ku medicine kedaikuma nu engitu irunthen , ana nee enake teriyama ena heal paniruka . En d , nan unaku onumey panalayae d aprm en ena ivlo love pandra . Ana onnu , now Ik what's Mine and Mine is mine alone . So nee ena vena nenachiko but I'm going to be there for you even if you push me away . I'm gonna grovel for you until you embrace me back . Sorry Ne , Sorry from Your Ash . " I told everything that my heart wanted to scream and she stood there crying rooted to her place . 

"I Love You Neha and I promise I have never loved anyone this much " I told sincerely which is of course true , I love her , I loved her even when I didn't realize it . 

She came running towards me and took me in her warm embrace and that marked my day in heaven . And there started  our Love . Always and Forever I promised her and I will stick to it until the Earth crashes down. 

Anbil Thodangi Anbil Mudikiren... Enkalangarai Vilakamae

This hit different now , hit perfectly . It began with her love and it's gonna end with our love . 

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Hey guys , I hope you all will love this as much as you loved ATAM. 

People  who are reading this first , I suggest you read ATAM first to understand this . 

Waiting to know all of your comments about this . 

Until Next Time , 

TejaDurai