"koi no yokan"

— 

(noun) A  koi no yokan is the instinctual knowledge that you are destined to fall in love with someone you've just met. It is not quite love at first sight, but it is the recognition that a future love is inevitable. 

   ❄❄❄❄     

I sit on the edge of my chair in anticipation. "Is it a yes? Or is it a no?" I instantly want to know. 

Zach lets out a low chuckle. "Easy, flower. Tell me, why do you so desperately need that money for?" he asks me this question yet again. The question I really can't answer. 

My God, what would Zach think if he knew about it? And the reason behind it? That's not something I'm willing to share. It's too much, too soon. But I can give him another reason that's also true. It's partly the truth, but it still counts. "I need it to continue with my professional skating." 

Zach looks stunned for a moment. "So, what you're saying is ... you need $200,000 to continue with your career?" 

I want to snort. Career? What career? But all I say is, "Yes. That's it." 

Zach smiles in thought. "You've got a really pricey trainer there." 

Yeah. You have no idea, Zach ... "Well, she's one of the best. I wouldn't expect anything less." I shrug as if the thought doesn't even bother me. 

"Alright, Analeigh. I'll make a deal with you." I'm almost lying on the table now, trying to get as close to him to make sure I don't miss any word. "I will give you the money." I hold my breath because by the way he's looking at me, I know something else is coming. "I have one condition, though." I eagerly nod, encouraging him to talk faster. Zach is clearly doing this on purpose, making the tension grow inside of me. He knows how impatient I am about this matter.

"I want you to spend one night with me."

When his words sink in, I slightly shift back, away from him, staring at him in wonder if I heard him correctly. How predictable. Or not. I should've somehow expected this. He's a guy, after all, and most of them are just pigs. I don't know why would Zach be any different. The richer they are, the uglier is their personality. What a sad truth.

Maybe the reason as to why I didn't expect this is because I didn't think Zach is capable of making such an indecent proposal to me. Guys aren't usually running after me. Especially not with 200,000 dollars in hands. 

I look at Zach who still has a casual, relaxed smile on his face, probably thinking he just got himself a deal. Does he really think so lowly of me? "I'm not for sale, Zach Crawford. I'm not willing to sell myself. Not even for 200,000 dollars," I tell him firmly, already feeling how the money is slipping away from me, even though I didn't even touch it yet. And I already ruined it. 

Zach looks at me in question before he realises what I meant and his eyes widen. "No, Analeigh. God, no, I didn't mean it like that!" he rushes to explain, his voice getting higher. 

I stare at him, still thrown off from his suggestion. "Oh?" I reply, wondering what he truly meant with his comment. He surely has to know how wrong it came out. Or how right. Whichever way you look at it.

"I didn't mean for you to spend the night in my bed. Although ..." Zach quickly shuts up when I give him a stern look. "I meant you hanging out with me. For one whole night." 

"Hang out with you? In the night? What could we possibly do at night?" I ask him, wondering why would he make such an unusual request. Hang out with me? In the night? And he didn't mean it as sleeping together ... 

"There are a lot of things you can do at night." Zach gives me a hot stare at which I slightly have to blush.

"Which you can also do in daylight, I believe," I shoot back at him.

Zach grins from ear to ear, slapping his hands together. "A girl after my heart!" he tells me like with a happy face. 

I roll my eyes at him. "Men." 

"Do we have a deal? I get you for one night?"

I groan, making a fist with my hand and put it over my mouth. "That sounds so terribly wrong," I comment.

"Or so terribly right ..." Zach says wistfully, his gaze burning me from across the table. "Just one more thing," Zach says. I look at him in anticipation, almost afraid what's going to come out of his mouth now. He's honestly so unpredictable and he shocks me with his words most of the time. Or I'm just not used to this bantering with anyone else other than Miles. "The money I'll give you ... I'm guessing it'll help you pay for your past bills. What about when the money is gone?"

The million-dollar question, isn't it? What will I do when I won't have this money anymore? I trace my fingers on the edge of the table, feeling the wood under my fingers. "I'll figure something out. Don't worry about it. And I'll pay you back, I promise."

Zach frowns. "Yeah, you will. But not in money. I already told you what I want." 

I frown right back at him. "No, you said that was your condition," I say slowly. "I'm not accepting that kind of money from you and not paying you back." I shake my head at him. It's absurd he'd even think about it. 

Zach leans forward and rests his forearms on the table. "No, Analeigh. That's going to be your payment," he tells me, all serious and business-like.

If I wasn't busy looking for something to argue back and let him know that there's no way I'm just accepting his money like that, I'd take some time to admire how hot he looks when he demands something. "You can't honestly equal my company with 200,000 dollars! That's absurd!"

Zach shrugs. "To you, maybe. To me, it's priceless." 

I huff. "Zach ... Even high-priced prostitutes don't cost that much. And you'd get more out of the night with them than you'll do with me. Honestly." I chuckle. I can not even believe that he's actually completely serious.

"If I wanted a prostitute, I'd hire one. But I don't. And you may not realise, but your company is worth much more than 200,000 dollars. I would be willing to pay even more."

I sit back in the chair, completely defeated and speechless. "You can't be real, Zach. Please, tell me you're joking. Otherwise, I'll sadly have to turn this deal down."

Zach's face falls and his jaw tightens. "Why?" he asks me quietly, lowly, piercing me with his look.

I swallow and will myself not to look anywhere else but his eyes, no matter how much he's intimidating me with only his look. "Because I won't let you willingly hand me 200,000 dollars without expecting anything in return!" 

Zach takes a deep breath. "I already told you what I expect, Analeigh," he says calmly with fake patience.

"I meant as you not expecting any money in return. That's not how I imagined this would work."

Zach stares at me for a few seconds before he smiles at me. "Analeigh, you need the money, you said so yourself. Why are you arguing about this?"

I have to look away now, only for a second, enough to gather my thoughts back in the correct order. "Because I'm afraid that it'll be easier if I pay you than do anything else you request as a payment." And that says a lot since I don't have any money on me right now.

I don't even know why I said that to him and why I admitted something like that. I don't want his sympathy or empathy. I also don't want him to think I'm weak. 

I see that Zach doesn't know what to say back to me for long moments. And I don't blame him.

"That's why the money won't have the same value to me," Zach replies, completely composed again. 

My fingers are twiddling together in my lap. I can't promise him anything, especially not something like that. "Are we going soon? I really have to wake up early."

I hear Zach sigh and I also see him smile. "Running again, Analeigh? I thought we'd already established that."

I shake my head. "No, not running. It's just getting late and I'm really tired." That's not a lie, either. Although I'd like to spend more time in Zach's company, I know I'd pay for it tomorrow. I can't afford to be tired and unprepared now. 

"Alright." Zach and I head out after he pays for the bill. I had to step a bit away from him so I didn't hear how much it cost. I'm still uncomfortable whenever someone else pays for me because I know I can't offer to pay at least my half. "Let's walk to my place so I can write you a check." 

I bite my lip and look around the dark street now. I see that it slowly started raining and the road is wet. 

I agree to go with Zach to his place which is close to the restaurant we were in. We come into the lobby and Zach leads me straight to the elevators, pressing the button for the highest floor. Of course. Always the best for the rich.

I try not to be bitter about things like that. I'm not jealous of people who have money, I just hate how most of them are so careless with it because they don't know how it feels to be without it.

When we go out on Zach's floor and he leads us to his place, I gasp when the door opens and he reveals the inside of his place. "I feel like I came into some fairytale or something," I mumble, taking in his spacious flat with a view to die for. 

Zach sends me a grin over his shoulder. "Make yourself at home," he tells me.

"Uhm, yeah. You don't have to tell me twice," I reply with a shy smile. 

"Want something to drink?" he offers. 

I shake my head. 

"Alright. Give me a minute." He disappears down the hall and I walk to the windows, looking down at the city. I've never thought New York was actually this beautiful.

That's probably because I've mostly seen only the ugly parts of it. But looking at it this high, through the windows that go from the floor all the way to the ceiling and all the lights in this dark night in those skyscrapers ... Wow.

I place my hand on the window, softly touching the cold glass, not wanting to leave any stains behind. I feel powerful just standing here. It literally feels like the world is at my feet. 

"You like the view?" I hear Zach's voice behind me. When I turn around slightly, I see he's standing by the enormous couch with his hands in his pockets and I realise he must've been watching me. 

I nod. "Yeah. It's beautiful," I breathe. I cast one more look at the magnificent view that completely took my breath away before I head to the equally magnificent man that makes me forget how to breathe properly. 

Everything is so overwhelming - being surrounded by so many beautiful and powerful things. Or people. 

Zach hands me the check he's written. When I try to take it from him, he doesn't release it at first. I look him in the eyes and I see he's looking at me with the same intensity he always seems to look at me. It's intimidating. "Thank you, Zach. For doing this," I feel the need to say. 

I don't think he realises it, but he's saved my life with his help. And my mother's. And for that, I'll always be grateful. Until I go to the grave. 

"I should be thanking you." When I raise my eyebrows in question, he elaborates, "For taking your time and spend it with me. You forgot about our deal already?" He teasingly lifts one of his eyebrows. 

I let out a small chuckle. "No. Of course not," I assure him. How could I forget about it? 

Zach nods, pleased with himself. "Come on. I'll take you home."

"No, no. You don't have to, I'll just take -" I start to explain, but Zach cuts me off with a scowl.

"If you, even for a second, think I'm letting you take the bus in the night and when it's raining ..." Zach shakes his head and he looks like the idea is absurd to him.

Well. Alright then. "You really don't have to," I mumble at his back when he leads me out. I carefully fold the check and put it in my jacket.

When in the car, I tell Zach my address and he, surprisingly, knows where the street is. It's one of the poorest, but Zach doesn't comment on it. 

"When did you have in mind that we spend this night together?" I ask him.

"Mmm," Zach mumbles, focusing on the road. He looks really sexy when he's concentrated on something. I quickly look away before he could catch me staring at him. "That's why it would be convenient for us to give me your phone number." I can hear the smile in his voice.

"I already told you I don't have one," I reply, not looking at him.

"Alright ..." Zach replies unconvincingly. It seems like he doesn't believe me. "What if I buy you one? You'd have no excuse then."

"No. Absolutely not," I shoot out, not leaving any room for objection. I give him a hard stare, but he probably doesn't even see it. 

"You'd have no excuses then. And we could at least communicate better." Zach shrugs. "When I want to call you or text you, I can't. And when I want to see you, I have to leave it to fate."

His words spark some kind of fire in me. Did he just admit that he's thinking about me? And he'd like to talk to me on the phone and see me more often? Wow. Okay, then. "That would be even more money I'd have to pay you back."

Zach shakes his head. "I'd make something up as your payment. Seriously, don't even worry about that. It'll be a gift."

"A gift? For what? That's an awfully big gift, by the way," I argue. 

"Not to me, it isn't," Zach says quietly. And I understand it. What's that for someone who's got money? 

I don't say anything back to that. I think Zach notices how I shut down and he doesn't question me any further. 

When we come near my street, I turn to Zach. "You can let me out here now. My house is nearby."

Zach looks at me from the corner of his eye and slows the car down, but he doesn't stop it. "Where's your house?" he wants to know.

"Really close now," I avoid answering him. I really don't want him to see where I live. Especially after I've just seen his place. 

"Analeigh, you can tell me where you live or I can drive around for however long you want to."

I stare at him, wondering if he's actually serious. By the way he's clenching his jaw, I believe he's very serious. 

I grudgingly direct him to my house. When we stop in front, I see Zach looks at the house. And I can't stay and wait for him to say anything or comment anything on it. 

"Thank you for the dinner. And for the money. I'll see you around ... I guess. Goodnight, Zach." I get out of the car.

"Analeigh! What the hell, wait -" I cut him off by shutting the door behind me and running to my home without a look back, afraid he'll follow me.

I realise I might have come off really rude to him and that I should show him more gratitude for helping me out, but my pride has been harmed quite a lot today.

Uhm, alright, I think I'm just a little bit in love with Zach Crawford *fans myself*.

Good news; I'm finally done with my finals! Now I have to wait for my results. And I can't believe this means I got through high school and successfully finished it. And those four years weren't even that bad.

Alright, hope you liked this chapter. If you want to read more, head on to radish where more chapters are posted.

x

Connect with me:

twitter: patriciaxbooks

ask.fm: bourbonvanilla

radish: bourbonvanilla