I fear the oceans.

The sound of the crashing waves, the sea creatures of harm, and the thought of being drowned to an unknown depth have always tormented my mind. I couldn't find myself tranquility in the tranquil ocean, yet here I am, feeling the grains of sand against my skin, and watching the waves that seems to be inviting me in.

'Conquer your fear,' whispered the wind to me.

I walked slowly towards the water while my eyes are closed in fear. My feet sunk fast to the quicksand of the ocean, and I've flinched to the sudden splash of water that touched me. My tears are now cascading waterfalls on my cheeks.

Am I going to drown? I ask myself. No, I'm drowning in my emotions and fear.

Now, I've gone deeper, but I wasn't drowning yet, and the quicksand has stopped the moment I did.

I was about to take another step, but something had touched me. I quickly moved away and opened my eyes. What was that? Then, my forehead creased when I saw it- a dead fish surrounded by plastics. Have the plastics killed the fish?

Although I am scared, I turned around to have a better look at the ocean, and it was as if the ocean was being drowned by the plastics. I couldn't figure whether it was a plastic in the ocean or an ocean between plastics. The small fishes are almost suffocated with the plastics wrapping around them, and the supposed blue ocean turned to a color of dirt. Beauty was corrupted.

Then, I could hear the laments of waves, the wails of the sirens, and the voice of the whales vibrating through the waves. That's when I've realized that these sounds that I fear are only sounds of fear too. The ocean is afraid too. It is like a quicksand: the more we try to destruct it, the more it brings destruction.

Little did I know, I was deep down in water. Just like these plastics, I couldn't do anything to save the ocean. I could only create more toxicity. I'm sure every human is the same. Mankind creates plastics. Plastics bring destruction. Destruction comes back to mankind. We create a cycle that will not even benefit us in the future.

I held my breath, and swam under the ocean. For my first time swimming in the ocean, I was swimming with the plastics. Pity those next generations who haven't seen the beauty of the bluest ocean. Pity myself for seeing the ocean too late as there is nothing left anymore.

The fishes became plastics, and I wouldn't be surprised if in the future, humans will be plastics too. I wouldn't be surprised if this planet will be wrapped in plastic. Planet or plastic?

I will forever stay thalassophobic if the oceans will forever stay like this. Conquering this fear have only brought more fear in me, but at least I've realized a lot of things.

I fear the oceans, yet the ocean fears us more.