069:

Ryan noticed the change in Melia almost immediately but with reluctance. He didn't want her to start feeling safe and secure. He wanted her to go on feeling sad and bewildered and confused. She had gone from those first few days of bewildered, to angry, to sudden acceptance. He had the annulment papers in hand and didn't want to show them to her. She was acting so.... Solid these last few days, as if she'd somehow derived hope from somewhere. How did she get off feeling hope? He wanted her to feel despair. To feel guilt. But she seemed more at peace.

She usually didn't get along with Kell Stevak, but she'd been performing admirably, controlling her moods, not letting the current get in the way. Kell had been tolerating her fairly well also, although he'd told him he didn't believe in the current. Ryan had fostered the antipathy Kell felt toward Melia, not wanting her to make friends easily. He told Kell that Melia was a terrible flirt, that she habitually went for and demanded the attention of every guy she met. It wasn't necessarily the truth, but his perception of it. She was fairly gregarious. She was bubbly and happy on set, trying really hard to bring in the performance the way the director wanted it, keeping her personal life at bay. He, himself had a very hard time doing that. It rankled that she could. It made her seem more professional in his eyes. Megan was on set sometimes these days, and he made sure to fill her ears with how "bad" Melia had been in her absence, telling her how she was cheating on him with the cast and crew. He could see that Megan didn't quite believe him, but the seeds had been planted. He read the doubt in Megan and Steve's eyes, and saw the outright hostility in Kell's. Melia remained in the dark as to why those she should be able to count on seemed distant.

The day came for them to arrive on the houseboat on Lake Powell, in Utah, the getaway designed by Kell to help Maille recover from her experiences losing children she'd met in a final care facility. Melia's heart went out to her little sister, and she would have comforted her, but almost immediately when she came on board the houseboat she felt major hostility from Matthew, who was unexpectedly there and had married her sister, Cassie. What a shock! Why hadn't anyone told her? She felt positively left out of the loop and then to find that Kell Stevak was totally in love with Maille was also a shock.

Ryan virtually ignored her. He got along so well with the others, Melia had trouble believing they couldn't see through to his darker side. However, from the moment she'd arrived, happy to be with family, relieved and excited at this small family reunion, no one... no not one single person was her friend.

It hadn't taken long to see the withdrawal from her that they had all done. Megan was distant, involved with Steve, but almost wary, deliberately staying topside, never once coming to her room, not volunteering to play with the girls, and keeping something in her hand so she'd not be obligated. Melia was the only one with children, apparently, not the only one married, although the hurt of not being even called like sisters might have under these circumstances made her feel cold and unhappy.

And, she kept that thought to herself. She was an actress, wasn't she? They need not know her inner feelings. She had been keeping them to herself for so long anyway. No one knew about the murder, no one, not even Jared had been able to get that out of her. The last time she'd confided in Megan had been when she found out she was pregnant with Abby. Maille had been at Hannah's birth, and right after when they'd done that little tour and the recording, but after that... yes, Jared was right, it looked like the band might break up. Megan had gone to pursue art in film, Maille was... well, she hadn't talked to Maille---- the thought occurred to her that maybe the reason they were so withdrawn from her was because she'd withdrawn from them. She looked to Cassie--- when was the last time she'd even spoken to Cassie?

An angry red haze of guilt washed over her. She was to blame. She had done this. She had not invited nor told any of them about her marriages, why should they tell or invite her? She had not included them in her courtships... a heart clenching disappointment raged inside. This wasn't how life was supposed to go! She shook herself, this should have been different. Giggly girls, close and cute, sharing all their secrets! Shopping for wedding dresses together! Not separate and withdrawn like they were!

Time, and proximity could fix this, she told herself. And she was the oldest sister! She had to set the example first!

*****