066:

Pictures. Pictures of her, lying dead, mangled, naked and bloody. But now there were words on top. Typed crudely across her body, which wasn't hers, she reminded herself. "Bring her here." "Or this will be her end." And the date and time stamped on it. The next picture, her with... she leaned forward, she hadn't seen that one... it looked like her in bed with... Kell Stevak..... what? And then the next one... her in bed with Ryan... a bunch with her and Ryan.... And it was definitely her... not Megs. How did she know? Well, maybe nobody else would know, and that was another reason these really couldn't hit the internet. It would really put the damper on a lot of career's, not to mention ruin them. Rumors, true or not were damaging.... Pictures were devastating. The public mind believed them whether they were real or not.

"These came for me in the mail at the beach house before we left for the camping trip." He said.

"What? And you think they're real? Obviously, I'm not dead. Obviously, I haven't slept with anyone, including you." She stared at him frankly.

He threw them on the bed beside her. "I know they're not real." He coughed.

"Well, give them to my dad, he'll know what to do with them. I've actually seen some of them before. The one where I'm dead, or strangled, or whatever. I've seen that one before. About two years ago, someone emailed them to me."

He looked up at her. "Do you think it's the same people who killed Jerry?"

Those incidents seemed like a lifetime ago. Melia thought back. She'd witnessed a murder, and been thrust into a different life. Jared said that the guys who killed Jerry were a drug and porn cartel out of Columbia. He told her that Jerry's brother, what was his name? The guy who bought the Catalina house, was going after the killer. And there was a bad International agency involved. The guy he'd gone after, Liv Sinclair, had been working for this government agency.

"I don't know. The original porn dealer out of Columbia was supposed to be killed by Jerry's brother. Maybe Jerry's brother didn't get him and that's why there are still pictures floating around. Maybe he is still obsessed with me, and...." She looked at the pictures again. "You and Kell Stevak. Why me with Kell? That doesn't make sense. I don't even know Kell and I get the feeling that he doesn't even like me."

"I guess these people don't care. They just want to bring us all down."

"So, you think we should stay together until.... When ?" She looked up at him.

He thrust the note at her. "Bring her here. Whoever it is still wants you. I don't know if it's the guy that you witnessed murder Jerry, or someone else. It doesn't matter. We have to find out, and that means we have to stay together and be at these places together." He sighed. "No matter how I feel about you personally Melia, or about Jared, or what you two did to me, I won't allow you to be hurt again."

She stared at him. There he was, the Ryan she'd met two years ago. The one who did care about her. The guy who had awakened her senses the first time, the first love of her life. His eyes were steady on her, committed to his course, his hands seemed strong and capable, and eerily like Jared's. She looked away. That man was gone. That man was not always available. He truly wanted to hurt her, not an accident, or circumstantial, but truly inflict pain and sorrow on her. He was a Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde.

"Okay." She said wearily, staring out the window at the darkened river and the moonlight on the rock splashes.

He nodded. "So, we'll stay together, and act normal for a few more weeks, and then we'll get it annulled."

"If that's what you think is best." She said indifferently, wishing she knew what to make of his roller coaster ride behavior.

"I'll take the other room." He said and backed out, never once looking at his nieces, never once offering to help.

Melia got up and went to Hannah, rescuing her from the curtains she was pulling herself up on. She needed a diaper change as well.

*******

*****

The next two weeks were a blur for Melia. Ryan, true to his word, rarely left her side, he was with her at her grandmother's funeral, as if they were a couple. He didn't ever offer to hold the babies, or do anything with them. But he was polite to Melia and respectful to her family.

Occasionally he updated her on progress he felt they were making in finding out who was behind the threats. He refused to involve her father, who was extremely equipped to help in this situation, considering he'd helped in the last one. So, she felt estranged from her family and couldn't really talk to anyone about anything, knowing her voice would give away her tension and anxiety.

So, she immersed herself in exercise, and babies, and the film. And that took up literally all of her time. She felt ragged, as if she ran from one fire to the next trying to put them all out and get a break. But no break ever came. Her thoughts felt ragged as well... distorted and random all the time. It was all she could do to hold on and make it through.

Someone on set had suggested relaxation, and she remembered that she and Jared had done yoga together, her mother did yoga, said it kept her sane. Melia knew in her heart it would help her focus. But in her daily life, she felt there was no time. If there was extra time, all she wanted to do was sleep.

The film wasn't easy either. They'd given her the part because she was so athletic, but she wasn't as athletic as she had once been, and getting in shape so quickly after having Abby was difficult. She had to pump her breasts every two to three hours even while on set and give the bottles to the nanny she'd hired. It took a lot out of her to be on her feet so much, still recovering and still trying to be there for her girls.

There was a part of her that wanted to simply quit it all. A nagging little voice inside told her she was pushing too much and needed a break. Another nagging voice said that if she quit Jared would be disappointed in her. And a third little voice--- it seemed they were all shouting simultaneously--- said that she was running from the pain and injustice of life---

Melia told herself-- get over it.

And... Ryan treated her with a modicum of attention when others were around, but the minute they were away, he was back on the phone with his girlfriend... who he now told her really was his girlfriend. As soon as the annulment was final, they were going to hook up, he and Alicia. He'd changed his mind about filing for it too. His purpose in marrying her was to establish the expectation, he'd told her. They could still pretend to be married for appearance's sake and for the sake of those who might be watching from the porn ring place. But he filed for the annulment right away. His purpose was fulfilled. He'd gotten revenge. He felt she had suffered, and was suffering in like manner to what she'd put him through. He told her so regularly, checking with her when she was down and tired and bedraggled to see how bad off she felt, and then he threw it in her face, that this was akin to what she'd done to him.

Privately she wondered if that was so. She'd betrayed his trust, which was true. She'd slept with his brother... another breach in what he had expected from her, but accidents did happen, and they had developed a strong and binding love for each other by that time. It wasn't ideal. But they didn't find themselves in an ideal situation. Consequently, she'd had to suffer through an unwed mother thing for a while, and then through his death and the birth of their child. She also had to care for two babies without a father. Then she'd found Ryan again, and believed that marrying him was for the best. She'd convinced herself that he was in love with her, and she loved him enough to make it work. So.... She'd now suffered the disappointment, the sorrow, the confusion of having lost someone she never really had. If that was what he'd felt, then so be it.

And now? She was suffering through the image part of things. For the image sake, she was pretending to be "with" Ryan. For the image sake, she was pretending he cared for her. He didn't. He made it clear the feelings were gone. She'd thought about asking him, how strong they had really been if he could discard them so easily. Once his anger took over, it seemed his hatred was right there. Like his love... fast and furious... and then gone as quickly. She began to realize that it had been a whirlwind romance from the start, and was likely doomed to failure anyway. How sad was that? She had never pictured herself a widow, or divorced, or married and annulled. Never.

And at night, she dealt with babies with colds, slept in a trailer room on set by herself with her children, and tried to analyze where she'd gone so wrong, besides the obvious. It was like a constant litany in her mind, making her crazy with its twirling. How could she make sense of her life?

In the midst of it all, Robert had called her three times. Their conversations had been friendly, chatty, and sometimes revealing as they both talked about their deceased spouses, and their feelings as they recovered from their deaths. He told her about his work and even practiced his lines with her on the webcam, and she laughed and corrected him, and practiced hers as well. That half hour or hour in the middle of the night seemed to be the most relaxed and stable time of her day.

When her phone buzzed, she looked forward to it.

******