063:

Jenny reached the motor home before them and went in, flipping on the main light. Robert pulled Melia back before she could get in. "What else do you need? Do you want me to come with you? I can do that. You shouldn't be alone."

"Thanks." She said. "But I'm sure that would be awkward. Ryan will come."

"I'm sure he will. Shall we wait to see if he wants to drive the motor home there?"

"You're being so nice to me, Robert, thank you." She said.

He took a deep breath, looking for all the world like he was about to say something else when he looked over her shoulder and dropped her hand, taking a step back. Kyle had found Ryan.

"What happened?" Ryan was a little out of breath from running, but his expression was one of wary curiosity as he eyed where Melia's hand had been. Robert stepped back again respectfully, expecting Ryan to take his wife in his arms, hoping that he would, hoping against hope that he would.....

"My grandmother died." Melia said cautiously, keeping the Robert tears out of her voice, not knowing what Ryan's reaction would be, and feeling uneasy now that she had gone for Robert and not made a bigger effort to find her husband. No tears were in her eyes though as she gazed steadily at Ryan. Would he take the reins now? Be the man? Be the husband she needed?

"I'm sorry, Mia." He said with real sorrow in his voice. "Are you going to the funeral?"

Melia blinked, Robert let his breath out in a whoosh and shook his head. "I'll get the truck." He said and disappeared.

"Am I? Well, yeah...." She started in slight bewilderment. "I—of course, I need to go up there, my mom...." She trailed off, feeling weird. Ryan grabbed her wrist and diffused what little there was to diffuse.

"If you're okay with it, then yeah.... I'll just be at the beach house when you get back."

"I was thinking you would come with me." She said slowly, wondering why this was even necessary. Did all women have to explain to their husbands that they needed to attend a family funeral with them?

Ryan looked at her in the artificial camp light, she was bedraggled looking, wearing yellow Capri's and a striped blouse over a tank top. Her feet were encased in sneakers, but her hair was in a half ponytail, straggling around her shoulders and face, she wore no makeup, and she looked... like a mommy....it wasn't appealing to him at all. "Now's not a good time, Melia. I've got the film to be prepping for, and me and Alicia are just working on our..."

"Oh." She said bluntly cutting him off with a wave of her hand. "You and Alicia. I should have known. That's fine Rye, that's fine. I'll go to my grandmother's funeral alone. I don't really feel like you're part of my family anyway." She hurried up the steps into the motor home and was shutting the door when he stopped her with a hand on the door above hers, forcing it open.

The grin in his eyes couldn't be hidden. "What's that supposed to mean?" He sneered, but the smirk remained and she had the distinct impression he was playing with her.

Her eyes narrowed dangerously. "It's obvious isn't it?" She said trying to control her bitterness.

"How does it feel, Melia?" He whispered, a strange light in his eyes, marring the usually handsome face.

"How does what feel, Ryan?" She said, caught off guard.

"To be rejected?"

She turned slowly, dawning comprehension. 

So, she thought blearily. That's the truth. He has been rejecting me this whole time. It's so I can feel rejection, feel what I did to him, feel it firsthand. She reeled back a little, stunned at his audacity. He'd actually married her for this? Revenge? To teach her a lesson?

"You. Are. Nothing...." She hissed. "Nothing... like your brother."

How he closed the distance to her in that split second she didn't know, but he jumped up on the step and stood, pressed to her in the doorway, pressed hard, holding her in place with very strong hands. "That's right, Melia. I am nothing like my brother. I am not a thief, or a woman stealer. I didn't betray my promises. I didn't take what wasn't mine. I didn't fall for another girl the minute you were out of sight."

"No, you waited at least an hour." She sneered in his face. "I think that was on our wedding night.... Was it Alicia then too?"

He laughed. "Now you know how it feels." He ground out.

"I want an annulment." She answered back.

"Oh, you'll get it." He flung at her, his voice cutting her to the core.

She pushed him off the stairs and went inside the motor home, feeling so angry she didn't even know what to think. Really? Really? This is what he'd wanted her to feel? That day in the restaurant when he'd smashed his fist into his brother's face, when he'd broken glasses and the door of the facility? He'd felt this angry?

She stood with her back to the door, heaving with exertion. Jenny came out of the room holding Abby in her seat and a diaper bag all stuffed to the top with things. She stared at Melia's tear streaked face and shook her head in tiny negating jerks. "I'm so sorry."

Melia registered the youngster with one eye, while holding her hand to her mouth to keep from screaming her rage, and then suddenly, she knew.... He can't win.

All this anger... no.... it's wrong. He wins if I let myself do this. He wins. I have to be.... Calm... I have to accept it... I have to forgive him... and move ahead with my humiliation, I don't even have to feel humiliated. I am not humiliated unless he wins. No pouting Melia. Don't give him the satisfaction.

"Oh, it's okay, sweetheart. I'll just step in the--- the bathroom and clean up." She smiled through her anger and closed the bathroom door behind her. More self-talk was necessary here, she thought. Okay. Think. I married him in good faith, thinking he still had feelings for me....but I wasn't committed to it....it was too soon.... And I am not over Jared. Ryan doesn't want Jared's kids. That's for sure. Ryan doesn't want anything to do with me either. That's okay. I never thought he really would. I was surprised when he seemed to care about me. I was surprised when he could talk to me about Jared and about what had happened. It was somewhat cleansing for me, apparently, it wasn't for him.

Okay. Address Ryan's issues. He feels betrayed.... He was.

He wants revenge. He got it.

He hates me.

I'm sad for that. It shouldn't be that way. There's no harm done really. Even though we were married, we weren't married. He made sure that we weren't really married, that was part of his plan the whole time. Did he succeed in making me feel little, making me feel confused and sad? Yep. He sure did. If that was his intention, then he got his wish. I feel very confused.

But... it's over now.

I am no longer confused. I am suitably chastised. Did I do wrong? Yes. Did I deserve to be chastised? She nodded at her reflection in the mirror, but heard Robert's words instead from earlier, You don't deserve this. Yeah, I do. She thought. I do. I was unfaithful. I deserve his hatred.

But.... I have a choice here. She told herself adamantly. I can stay right here and beat myself up for it, spend a few years depressed and confused and bewildered. Or I can pick up the pieces and get on with my life. I can move forward, and that's the kind of girl I am. I can learn from this whole experience and get past it. And that's my choice.

There was a knock at the bathroom door and Robert's voice came to her softly. "Mia, I've brought the truck. Are you okay?"

"Yes." She said and quickly washed her face, dried it and glared at it. Imperfect, ragged. Whatever. She'd take care of that in Montana. She pulled the hair band out and redid the ponytail and then opened the door. Robert was standing there in the hallway one arm up, the other over his eyes.

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