014:

Richard was pacing around the redwood deck off the bed chamber he shared with Tracy, pacing, his hand to his forehead, watching Matthew out of the corner of his eye, thinking, thinking, what else could they do?

Matthew looked half crazy, smeared with Aloe Vera slime, green and gel-like, and he held Melia who was immersed in it, both of them sparking through the juice. Matthew held her close to his chest, crooning into her hair, and she lay against him, incongruous, dressed only in her thin and now see-through t-shirt and underwear. He'd thought he was enough, but she hadn't come to right away. So they'd brought her here, and tried the tub. Nobody was really sure it would help. Tracy leaned over the edge, holding Melia's hand, feeling her pulse.

She stirred. Finally opened her eyes, "Jared?"

Matthew shuddered in relief. "It's Matthew." He said calmly, letting his arms which had been stiff and unyielding, holding her against him so tightly, relax.

Her eyelids fluttered and then she focused on him, and his heart did a double flip flop maneuver that he was sure she could sense if she wasn't so out of it.

"Hey, Matthew." She murmured and then closed her eyes.

"Hey, baby. You're okay, now." He still crooned over and over, and Tracy's eyes had filled with tears of frustration. He let those beautiful blue eyes meet his and shook his head.

"She's just weak. She'll be okay." He said gently.

"I feel so helpless having passed this condition on and even made it worse. I wish she didn't have to suffer. I'm so glad you're here."

"I'm glad I was here also." He managed an ironic smile, thinking that it may not have happened if it wasn't for him being there, as Richard came over to softly pull his wife to him for a hug as they stood watching their oldest daughter coming to.

"It could have happened for any reason. I don't know what triggered it." Tracy was trembling in regret.

"I was reading Jared's letter." Melia mumbled and they had to lean close to hear her and have her repeat it.

"What letter?" Richard and Matthew said in unison.

Tracy looked stricken. "How was I to know? He gave me a letter to give to her on Mother's Day. I gave it to her last night. She must have read it this morning. Somehow it must have triggered the build."

"I'm sorry." Melia said apologetically. "I didn't mean to...." She couldn't tell them that Jared had told her to lay down and imagine him there holding her and she had. It had seemed so real for just a minute there... so real... so divine....so worth it....

"Mia, you're going to have to be more careful, honey." Richard said. "You need to take some time and figure out what triggers it, and have a contingency plan for what to do if you build. Grief can----"

"I can't help the builds, Dad." She gritted out, sitting up and looking for all the world like a green slime monster.

"I didn't say you could. But like your mom, there are certain things that trigger bad builds, and your mom has figured out what they are for her, and how to ground herself somewhat to avoid this kind of thing happening. You need to stay grounded a little more."

Melia was annoyed, she had kept the builds at bay for a good three months, never once having to be diffused. How could he fault her now? "Whatever. I'm not going to live my life tethered to this thing." She said and pushed her way through the slime till she arrived at the edge of the hot tub that had been filled with gel. Without turning around, but feeling grateful, and chagrined at her lack of gratitude, she ground out, "Are you getting out, Matthew?"

He took a deep breath as she presented her backside, those long legs... that cute derriere. He still faced his own reaction to her and was reluctant to get out and have everyone see. Tracy sensed it immediately and turned Melia away toward the bathroom, giving Richard a quelling look, and sending him quickly out of the room to afford Matthew a little privacy.

Once in the bathroom, she helped Melia undress, and got her into the shower. Outside the door, they heard Aubrey bringing Hannah, who was wailing angrily. "Mom!" Aubrey's eleven year old voice was strained, not to mention stridently annoyed. It hadn't been fun to be awoken at the crack of dawn to care for a baby that wouldn't be consoled.

Tracy opened the bathroom door, and took the baby. "Thanks sweetheart. You can go back to bed."

"As if I could sleep, after this." Aubrey moaned and turned to walk away, but Tracy reached out and grabbed her ponytail and twirled her around. "Hey, there, pretty girl. I appreciate what you did. Thankyou." She kissed her forehead before she could run off and then shut the door so the warm air would stay inside. "Hey there, pretty princess, whatcha crying for? Momma's right here!"

Melia reached for the towel her mother had laid over the warmer, and pulled it around her as she got out of the shower.

"You've really lost the weight." Tracy observed. "Are you eating good?"

"I am." Melia answered, seeing herself in the slightly steamed up mirror, she took the wailing baby and sat on her mother's plush make up bench to nurse. The immediate silence was blissful and Tracy sat on her counter and watched. "No matter how hard I work, though, the tummy isn't coming off."

"Well, I know you're exercising." Tracy laughed, knowing that both of her other daughters had come to her with complaints about Melia's schedule. "It won't last forever. Give it time."

Melia drew in her breath sharply. "Yeah, well..." She couldn't very well tell anyone how the exercise and the schedule kept the memories away. She didn't want to seem weak, or like she wasn't doing what Jared had asked her to do. She was afraid somehow that if she didn't do what he said she'd be letting him down.

Tracy could tell Melia didn't want to talk about it, so she asked her if she were planning to come to the Mother's Day dinner later, and Melia said she was.

"Good, then. I don't think you should be completely alone. So you might want to ask Megs to spend the night or something."

"Megs..." she repeated watching as Hannah's little eyes slowly closed that baby way, half open half closed. Her body went limp, and she unlatched.

Melia cuddled her tenderly, seeing Jared's sleeping expression on his daughter's face. She felt a headache coming on. Tracy, who was very sensitive to expressions and aura's sighed. "You're building." She said calmly and got up to put a towel around Melia's shoulders. Then she opened the door and called to Matthew.

"No, Mom... I'm okay." Melia whispered, her eyes rose and were full of unshed emotion.

Tracy shook her head. "It's better for you to be completely diffused, Mia, and Daddy can't do that for you."

"I hate this." Melia shuddered as Matthew slowly came into the bathroom. He saw Melia sitting there and knelt in front of her towel covered frame, their eyes met. He placed both hands on her knees on the towel and stared into her eyes with compassion and then gently, with just his thumb, moved the towel to the side and touched her knee, allowing the residual current to race out of her and into him and out into the floor as Jared had taught him. He kept staring at her as she closed her eyes, her lovely face an impassive mask of determination. Then he let her go and stood up, turning to leave.

"Thanks, Matthew." Came her thin voice, and he took a rather deeper shaky breath.

"I'll be here for awhile." He said softly and then forced himself to leave the room, knowing how badly he really wanted to stay.

******