TW: sh

I call them silent nights,
'Cause no one can hear them cry.
In fact, they are the loudest,
If you'd dare for one to come by.

These silent screams for help,
They burn inside my chest.
Tried to shut them out,
By getting them addressed.

But I know what they want,
And what they really need.
I can feel the bond,
Leaves me alone to bleed.

Know how this is gonna end,
Though I try to change my mind.
Wish I could just kill the trend,
I know that it ain't right.

Can't hold the trigger anymore,
As I reach for the blade.
It's to defeat my inner war,
I hope for it to fade.

One cut, two cuts, three cuts,
That's how it gets done.
Watching red ink pouring down,
As if it were for fun.

Feelings slowly dying,
Consuming all that's left.
Last nerves hardly trying,
Not to lose the string.

Tissues red from my body's tears,
The storm inside my heart.
I feel it slowly clear,
Now all back to the start.

I call them silent nights,
'Cause no one can hear them cry.
In fact, they are the loudest,
If you'd dare for one to come by.

This time, my stolen hands lost again,
Afraid of what comes next.
Bandages changing color,
I know this ain't a test.

Dear God, you know I'm just a kid,
Take all that you need.
Numb my head,
Steal my soul,
Worth nothing
Anymore.

I call them silent nights,
'Cause they're never talked about.
So when I turn out the lights,
I know it with no doubts.

Alone I am and freezing,
Praying for relief.
The pain on my wrist teasing,
This one needs no belief.

Tomorrow-me is angry,
Today-me just a mess.
Don't see beginning nor an end,
Just a misattempt.

No lesson learned,
No further gain.
Good night,
Nights always feign.

~vanellajojo