You clamp on to your books and speed walk down to your next class, avoiding all eye contact. You absolutely hate passing time, mostly because of all the people that could see you mess up or because people tend to be stupid dodo's in the hallway and will run into you, and then your screwed.

You turn the corner and basically jog down the hallway to your class, your heart racing like horses and your eyes darting back and forth. You are quickly filled with relief as you step into your next class and take your seat in the back row. You recall all the times someone has came up to you and said you were quite and never spoke. Honestly, you didn't know how to reply, so you mumble under your short, jagged breaths, and fiddled with your fingers which were attached to your sweaty palms. People, classmates, began to file into the class, taking seats. Looking at you all alone in the back of class.

Seeing you.
Noticing you.
Judging you.

You look away from all the people coming into class so you don't panic and have a heart attack and die. Your alone. Your want to be alone, but then you don't. It's like your screaming, but no one can hear you, no one wants to hear you.

You pull your notes out of your bag. People start to sit around you, their eyes looking you up and down.

"They are judging you. On your looks, your race, your face, your outfit, how many notes you took, how amazing your hair looks, how shy you are. They are always judging, no matter how much you hate it, they are."

You mentally scream at that little voice in the back of your head. It never shuts up, it never leaves you alone. It's like your trapped by it, constantly telling you that they are saying mean things about, that if you do this or if you do that you'll get embarrassed.

~~~

Your heart is racing and pounding against your rib cage as you head home after school. Everyone that past you is judging you, ready to point out your flaws and mistakes as soon as you screw up. You haven't said a word all day during school neither. You step onto the bus, your eyes scanning the seats. You had tried your best to step onto the bus lightly and slowly. What if you getting on the bus and shake it because your to heavy? What if you trip? What if you drop something, and have to bend over to pick it up? What if someone is impatiently waiting behind you, already knowing your a screw up? These are the thoughts that race through your head as soon as you step onto the bus. All of these what if's for just one situation?

Your eyes scan over the seats as your mind races with thoughts. There are a couple of people on the bus already. Right as you slide into to your seat you wonder what the people already on the bus think about you. Did you slide in the seat incorrectly? Did your foot kick someone behind you as you slid into your seat? As you sit down and look out the window you avoid as much eye contact from everyone that steps on. You don't want them to look at you, to judge you, but you know they'll do it anyway. And you can't stop it.

But you don't realize, it's not your fault you feel like this. It's a disease, a sickness, one you didn't know existed. It's not shyness, or being introverted, it's Social Phobia. It's a Social Anxiety Disorder.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I literally have no idea what happened. This isn't even the what the full day would look like.

So, recently, I have made a comment on a book. And it looked like this.

Someone then told me that it's not necessarily a Social Anxiety Disorder, and honestly, I would totally agree with them.

Buttt, I haven't said this publicly yet, but on Friday May 13 I was in fact diagnosed with Social Anxiety Disorder. So it have been cliently proven that I do, and I'm even getting Therapy for it. Its not shyness or anything like that, it's a phobia, it's a disorder. Just, wanted to get this straight, and let the news out to everyone, because not even Shadow or Scarlet or Stix knows yet, and they're my best friends.

(Also sorry for no drawing, I'm actually working on a couple drawings currently aha.)

I need to play minecraft oh my notch byee