I want to message him again. Pick up where we left off. When I was happy; when I didn't regret the decision that I made. I pushed you away because I now realise the mistakes that I made. The memories kept coming and the guilt and sadness kept on getting worse. I want to talk to you again, but it's...awkward now. Ever since that night...when I thought.....yeah..............

Every time I watch that show that we talked about. It reminds me of you. When I look back I remember and notice all of the things that I did. I pushed you away, and yet I held you close. Trying to keep you with me. The guilt and sadness are consuming me, and yet..I'm still hurt by what you did. I feel like there's something wrong with me. I pressured you and I didn't realise it until the end. But I should've realised I was getting boring. Your messages got shorter. And replying got longer. 

But when you said those words I knew that you wouldn't say them unless you were sure. And then that happened. Did you even mean them? Or were you talking to...? 

I'm sorry for everything. We both made each other feel terrible. But now you won't even reply. I guess I severed our friendship. It feels like you don't even acknowledge me though.... 

I'm sorry for everything.