Chapter 37

It was snowing the morning of the visiting day. I got up early and took a shower, got dressed and then brushed my teeth and put my hair up into a bun. After eating a yogurt, I texted Kelly.

   SEE YOU THERE? MY UNCLE IS DRIVING ME.

   OK, COOL. SEE YOU IN A BIT.

   I put my phone down and pulled my Geography textbook from my bag. I had a test on Monday and I figured I'd do some reading while I was waiting for the time to pass.

   We let just after 9A.M. The roads were snowy, and we knew it would take more than the three hours it would usually take to drive there. I put my headphones in and listened to my music for awhile, in the back seat of Caleb's truck. The drive seemed to take forever and when we pulled into a parking lot where there was a large brown building, it was already ten minutes to 1P.M. There was a huge sign on the front of the building that said Sunbeam Rehab Centre for Teens. Caleb turned off the truck and turned around to face me.

   "You okay?" he asked, right away. 

   I nodded. "Yeah, I'm just excited."

   "How long will you be?"

   "Well, I think it's two hours," I answered, suddenly realizing I didn't know how long I would actually be staying.

   "Okay. We will go for lunch. Text when you are ready, then we will head to your mom's?" Caleb looked slightly unsure, but I nodded again.

   "Enjoy the time with him," Fox said to me, smiling. "It'll be great."

   "Yeah," I said, then opened the door to get out. "Thank you."

   As I crossed the parking lot to the front door of the building, I texted Kelly.

   IM HERE.

   My hand was shaking as I waited for her to answer.

   WE JUST PULLED IN, she sent back.

   I looked over to see Caleb's truck pulled out of the parking lot. Kelly was getting out of a fancy looking SUV a few minutes later. She saw me and smiled, then waved. As she walked over, her parents following behind her, she grabbed my hand.

   "Ready?" she asked me.

   "Yeah," I nodded.

   We walked in, still holding hands, now behind her parents. I was scared of how exactly this would go, as it was all new to me.

   Mrs. Drake walked right up to the desk where a plump lady with black hair was sitting.

   "Shannon Drake. We are here to see Bennett Drake," she said, loudly.

   "Oh, of course! Welcome to Sunbeam! We are so happy that you're here!" the lady stood up, practically cheering. "We have been preparing for today for awhile, but we don't usually have a lot of families that show up for the kids... Most of the young adults here have some addiction problems and their families don't usually come to these things..."

   Mr. Drake cleared his throat, obviously uncomfortable.

   "Bennett is not a drug addict," Kelly spoke up.

   The woman blinked a few times, then smiled big again. "Right, of course not. He sure isn't. So, let's get you down to the lounge."

   Kelly and I fell behind, following the woman and her parents. There was a long hallway and a left turn, then she pushed open the doors and lead us into a large, bright room. There were lots of tables and chairs, huge windows and a few long tables off to the side with food and drinks, coffee, water bottles. When we approached an empty table, I noticed that there was only one other older couple there, occupying another table. They both looked as nervous as I felt.

   "Have a snack, some coffee, get comfortable. They'll be in soon," the woman told us, then disappeared again.

   Mrs. Drake removed her coat and placed it on her chair. Mr. Drake did the same, then walked across the room and poured two black coffees. When he came back over he handed one to his wife, then smiled at me. I felt like it was all a bit forced. We were all nervous, it seemed.

   Two other families came in, choosing tables nearby us. I watched as a young mother with a toddler and then an older woman with a teenage boy came in. I wondered what their stories were; who they were here for.

   And then, suddenly, a different door opened and a line of people came into the room. First, a young man who went straight to the woman with the toddler. They hugged, the woman already crying. The toddler seemed to only care about the cookie he was eating. Second, a girl, no older than me, walked slowly towards the older couple who were there. A few more came in before I saw Bennett. He looked good, like he was fresh from a shower or a swim, maybe. He wore a button up shirt and jeans. His hair was getting long.

   His mother hugged him first, and I watched as she kissed his cheek. His dad pulled him in next, saying something to him that I didn't hear. I was waiting for my turn. Finally Bennett looked back and forth between Kelly and I, then grinned.

   "Go ahead," Kelly laughed, pulling out her chair to sit down.

   Bennett didn't hesitate before wrapping himself around me. He smelled clean, like a soap I didn't recognize. He was cleanly shaven and nuzzled his mouth into the top of my head, kissing it. I closed my eyes, pretending we were anywhere else but there.

   "So, I officially have four weeks left," he told us, once we pulled away from each other.

   We all sat down, Bennett next to me.

   "Four?" his mother asked, confused.

   "Yeah. The head therapist Megan even agreed to my early release. I mean, everyone here loves me. They know I'm the only one here without a drug addiction..." His voice was low.

   "But they'll sign the paperwork saying you completed the program?" Mrs. Drake went on, sounding unsure.

   "Yes, Mom."

   Finally, she smiled. "Wow. Wonderful, then."

   "So, what have you been doing in here?" Kelly asked him.

   Bennett squeezed my hand, which was in his lap. We we close. I was still in shock of actually being with him.

   "We take turns cooking, cleaning, we have group therapy every day... I run on the track and swim..."

   "It sounds like you like it here," Kelly laughed, then shook her head at him.

   "It's... been okay, honestly. And now knowing I only have a month left... it's makes it tolerable." Bennett seems different, somehow.

   "Ben, we are very proud of you. We just want to get you home, of course," Mrs. Drake said, then sipped her coffee.

   To me, her reaction to all of this was not what I would expected at all. She was his mother, but she didn't seem concerned with his well-being. I wasn't sure why she was proud of him for tolerating being in rehab for drug dealing - for the second time - but I smiled at her anyway.

   "I'll get some snacks," Mr. Drake said, standing up. Mrs. Drake followed him away from the table.

   "Fine, I'll go get a coffee," Kelly rolled her eyes at me.

   Bennett scooted his chair even closer to mine. "You're really here."

   "Yes, of course," I replied.

   "Oh, god, I missed you," he whispered, leaning in close to nuzzle me again.

   "Bennett, I know," I said back, reached to hold his head close to mine.

   "How've you been? Did you hear about NYU yet?" he asked, after taking a deep breath.

   We both wished we were alone, doing things that were not okay for other people to see, but we weren't.

   "No. Another month, I think," I answered.

   "Oh. Maybe I'll be home by then. Maybe I can be there..." His voice was so hopeful, so I nodded.

   "Yeah."

   He leaned in again, pressing his forehead against mine. "Thank you for coming."

   I smiled, then kissed him quickly. "I missed you."

   "I'll be home soon. And we can snuggle under your blanket and watch movies, and eat   popcorn -"

   "And kiss," I added, smiling at him.

   "Yes," he grinned.

   His parents and Kelly were back, placing plates of food in front of us. Fruit, veggies, mini sandwiches, muffins, and two bottles of water. We all ate, talked and enjoyed being with Bennett. It somehow all seemed okay, during that next hour. And somehow I fit in with his family, like I was meant to be there as much as they were.

   Saying goodbye was rough. Kelly went with quick and painless, giving Bennett a hug and leaving the lounge promptly. His mother held him a moment longer, telling him she was really glad to see that he was doing well. Finally, she turned away, forcing a smile at me. His dad shook his hand and told him to be strong. When it was just Bennett and I left, he pulled me close again.

   "Four weeks," he whispered, and all I could think was two hours had gone way too fast.

   "One month," I repeated.

   We were standing now, him holding me at the hips. I had my hands linked behind his back. I wasn't going to leave until they kicked me out.

   "It will go fast, right?" he asked, so I shrugged. "I'm pretty sure I'll never leave your side, once I'm back."

   "Never?" I asked, smiling at him, even though I felt like crying.

   "Nope."

   I thought about New York, and how we'd be separated whether we liked it or not, soon enough. I thought about Caleb and how he would probably not be as cool with Bennett staying over, now that things had changed. But I didn't speak these thoughts.

   Bennett kissed me, really kissed me, for the first time in so long, and I did not want to leave. When he held me there and I kept my eyes shut, the world made sense. I knew that going back to Charlottesville without him wasn't going to be easy.

   "Bennett, visit is over," a girl called to him, from across the room.

   He broke away from me, a sad look on his face. I couldn't stop the flow of tears that came down my face.

   "I love you," he told me. "You know that?"

   "Yes," I said quickly. "I love you, too."

   We just stood there, not letting go, for a few more minutes. The room was pretty much empty now.

   "I should... I have to-"

   "Go," I finished for him, then pulled away from him.

   This time, I watched him leave. I waited until the door was closed behind him until I turned and left the lounge.