Chapter 32

"I don't really believe things happen for a reason," Bennett told me, later that night, after I'd explained about the message from Lily.

   It was after 10P.M. when he was knocking on the apartment door. I let him in, kissing him before he was even fully inside. I had really missed him.

   He'd brought me a Christmas present, which was a tiny box for me to unwrap. Inside was a necklace with a blue pendant in the shape of a water droplet. It was beautiful and I put it on right away.

   "You don't?" I asked him now, my head on his shoulder.

   He shook his head. "But by the sound of the message, it sounds like she just wants to say sorry."

   "Yeah, well, she tried. Right after it happened, and every day for two weeks afterwards," I said, shaking my head now.

   Bennett was just looking at me, truly looking at me, but I hated that he felt sorry for me now. I was fine, I didn't need pity.

   "I had sex with him, you know. My Ex. He was my first. I thought he was..." I said, looking away.

   "Iris... I lost my virginity at a party, in tenth grade. I was drunk and high and..." He let his voice trial off.

   "I wish I waited," I said, sighing.

   "Me too."

   He wrapped his arms around me, and I let him hold me. I didn't know what I would do about Lily, if anything. But for now I could just enjoy being with Bennett. That night was the first night that I fell asleep in his arms, in my bed.

   I liked being in control. Now, I could pretend I had never talked to my mom and that Lily had never sent me that message. I couldn't control my family falling apart when I was fourteen, but I could control this.

   Bennett and I spent the following week being lazy, watching a ton of movies, snuggling under blankets. We didn't even leave my apartment until mid week, when Maribella called. Caleb didn't seem to mind that Bennett was sleeping over. He trusted us. And I knew he liked that we were staying around the apartment, rather than out getting into trouble.

   "I can't believe we haven't hung out at all, during the school break," Maribella said into my ear, when I answered her call.

   "I know. You've been working, and I..."

   "You have legs, don't you?" she laughed. "The store is like ten minutes from your apartment." I knew she was teasing me.

   "Yeah, you're right. I'm sorry. When are you off?" I asked her, looking at Bennett.

   "Now, just getting a coffee," she answered.

   "Stay there. We'll meet you in fifteen?"

   "Oh, nice. Okay, see you soon," Maribella finished.

   Bennett was pouting at me when I put my phone down. "Meeting Maribella where?"

   "Java Hut, for coffee," I told him.

   We were dressed, but under a blanket on the couch. We had a Netflix original movie on, but we hadn't really been watching.

   "Oh, well I could go for a coffee, but I'd rather..." He grinned, then pulled me close again.

   He kissed my neck, and I let him for a minute. But as he began moving down, kissing my collarbone and lower, I wiggled away.

   "I have to get a sweater, and brush my teeth," I told him, but didn't go anywhere, yet.

   "But I love when you're here, in my arms," Bennett whined.

   I wasn't exactly sure how it had escalated, but he had only gone home once to shower and get new clothes, since the day after Christmas. We had not had sex yet, but it felt like it would be soon. I didn't feel like we'd rushed anything. It felt good, and right. Everything about being with Bennett felt good.

   "I love coffee," I teased him, then added, "and I miss Maribella."

   "Fine. But-" He stopped, as his phone started ringing.

   I kissed him and then stood up, leaving him there to answer his call. I went down to my room, pulled a hoodie out of my closet and slipped it on, then went into the bathroom to brush my teeth. As I went back out to where Bennett was, he was still talking.

   "Okay, yes, I get it. I'll be there." He put his phone down and stood up.

   I smiled at him, but felt a bit uneasy. "Everything okay?"

   "Yes. But I have to..." He started, but didn't finish. "I have to go pick up some weed and do a big deal. But I swear this is -"

   "You promised you were done with that, like two weeks ago," I snapped, without thinking. I was instantly annoyed with him.

   "I know, I was. But -"

   "But? What? You lied?" I yelled.

   "I didn't. Stone is literally threatening to tell my parents that I'm still dealing. They will send me away again." He looked defeated.

   I just wanted to know how long he had been doing this behind my back. "I thought your debts were paid?"

   "Iris... it's more complicated than that. It's easier for him to make me the middle man. And if I refuse, he'll rat me out. I'm stuck."

   I stared at him in disbelief. At least he wasn't lying to me now, but he had been. He was in too deep with this Stone guy and I couldn't help him. I couldn't do anything.

   "Well, you did this to yourself," I shot at him. "I'm going to meet Maribella."

   Bennett grabbed my hand, as I slipped into my shoes. His eyes were pleading with me, not to leave like this.

   "I'll be done with this in an hour. I'll meet you -"

   "Don't bother," I said quickly, pulling my hand away. "I'll call you later."

   My heart was racing as I slammed the door, leaving him there. I didn't even know why exactly I was so mad. I really didn't like the idea of him going off collecting drugs from a dealer and selling to random people at The Pod or wherever else. I wanted him with me. Or maybe I was scared for him. But by the time I'd gotten to Java Hut, I knew I'd over reacted.

   Maribella was sitting at a table for four, and I walked over after I'd gotten my coffee. She, again, had a fancy latte and a croissant.

   "Where's Bennett? I thought you two were attached at the hip," she asked right away, smiling at me.

   I sat down, pulling in my chair. "He had to go home for a bit," I lied, my hands wrapped around my hot cup.

  "So, he's been spending the night with you? Are you two, you know...?" she wanted to know.

  I sighed. "We haven't, yet."

   "Oh, wow." Her eyes were wide for a second, but she tried to pretend like she wasn't that surprised.

  "Wow?" I asked back, offended.

   "I guess I thought you guys were pretty serious," she said, shrugging.

   "Yeah, well. Can we talk about something else?" I asked her.

   She let out a laugh. "Yes! My dad was so mad about my detention, I thought he'd never let me drive again. But today he totally let me take his car."

   "Oh, that's awesome," I smiled.

   "So, want to go to the mall or something after this?" she asked. She was so excited that I couldn't say no.

   "Sure, let's do it," I agreed.

   Just spending the evening with Maribella, her driving us to the mall, eating ice cream in the food court and wandering around together - it was all so new. She seemed different, too. She was happy. And she was herself. But I was hiding something. A lot of things, actually. I hadn't told her about Lily sending me that message. Or my mom. And even today, I had lied to her about Bennett. I really wasn't being a good friend.

   I had texted Bennett more than once, with no response. By the time we were heading back towards the condo, I was a bit worried. Sure, I'd left the way I did. But I knew him. I knew that he would text me back if he was okay.

   "What's wrong?" Maribella asked, pulling into the back parking lot.

   I was staring at my phone. I swallowed hard, nervous to tell her. "Bennett hasn't texted back all day. I think he's mad. We had a stupid fight before I left."

   "Oh, why didn't you tell me?" she wanted to know, putting the car in park.

   "It was just stupid," I said again. "I thought he'd call me back by now."

   "I'm sure it'll be fine," she smiled. "I had fun today."

   "Me, too. Thanks," I smiled back.

   "Call me tomorrow? We can plan my birthday?" she went on.

   I nodded. "I will."

Kelly and their mother were coming out of the elevator as I was waiting to go up. For a second, I thought nothing of this. I smiled at Kelly, even. But she raised her eyebrows at me. It was after 8P.M. and I'd never seen Kelly - Or Bennett - with their parents, outside of their apartment. I was about to step into the elevator when Kelly stopped and looked back at me.

   "Ben is in trouble, if you didn't know."

   I froze. "Trouble?"

   "I'll text you in a bit. I gotta go." Her face looked worried, and sad, for me.

   "Kelly..." I said, but she was already hurrying to catch up with her mother.