We all know and love him... Grumpy Cat!

Aries: Love is in the air? Get out the gas mask.

Taurus: I don't hate you, but if you were on fire and I had a glass of water... I'd drink it.

Gemini: So you mean to tell me that stress balls aren't for throwing at the people who stress you out?

Cancer: Shortest horror story... Monday.

Leo: Why do morons worship a god in heaven? I'm on earth, worship me.

Virgo: Brains are awesome... I wish everyone had one.

Libra: Smart phones, smart cars, smart TVs... when will they start making smart people?

Scorpio: You inspire my inner serial killer.

Sagittarius: Roses are red, violets are red, bushes are red, trees are red... I set your garden on fire.

Capricorn: The problem with America is stupidity. I'm not saying there should be a capital punishment for stupidity, I'm just saying why don't we take the safely labels off everything and let the problem solve itself?

Aquarius: I just found out there are no people on Mars. See ya!

Pisces: Why fall in love when you can fall asleep?