I hurled myself at Jaxon and slammed my fist into his nose.

The laughter dropped along with everyone's smile. His head had smacked off the shower shelf and blood gushed down his nose. "What the hell, Wendy?!"

Dead air sat between us.

"It's Wendzel," I told him.

An arm wrapped around me and I was about to snap at the person who wanted a knuckle sandwich until a pair of familiar eyes softened me up. It was Popeye.

"We should go," she hissed.

"Let me rip off his head first and then we can take his eye sockets home," I responded.

"I have really bad eyesight. You wouldn't want these babies," Jaxon spoke up with a nasal voice as his hand covered his nose.

I was about to throw another fist, but Popeye yanked my back tighter against her chest. "It's not that. Mom and dad are here."

"Shitsticks." I scrambled out of the tub, and pushed past the crowd in my wet dress.

"Wendzel is present!" I yelled. Rather than search for grown adults, let them find you. Less work. "Mother? Father?"

I walked into the living room to see my mom in the same dress I wore except in grey. Her blonde hair was twisted in her evening dinner bun and I wondered if she just got back from a night out with her friends.

Then I remembered my mom didn't have friends and I realized she dressed up for this party.

She saw me and did a twirl while knocking a girl into the couch. "Hey honey. You like?"

I wrinkled my nose. "What's up will all the grey? I didn't think we'd expect to bury you for another few years."

She put her hand on her hips. "I like the colour grey. I have it with everything now."

"Well you certainly don't have to worry about colouring your hair," I said.

Heavy feet rushed from the room next to us and a familiar deep voice followed after it. "Isn't it my favourite party animals!" my dad said. He shouldered past the school quarterback, and he put Emett in a headlock with one arm and ruffled Curtis's hair with the opposite hand.

My dad reached for Popeye next and she stuck out a protesting hand. "Touch me and you die."

"Mom! Dad! Why are you guys here?!" I exasperated. Chatter between the teenagers in the room started to fade out.

"Jaxon invited us," my mom said.

"Jaxon?!" My fingers curled into a fist. "You let him talk to you? How did you get in contact with him?!"

I noted someone stopped the music and my family's voices filled the room instead.

As a weird family, our public conversations always seemed to bring a crowd. I could see people holding the party bowls and munching on the snacks as if my family interaction was the party's main event.

Let's be real. It totally was.

"We finally found grandma's will!" my mother exclaimed in triumph. "It was tucked in one of the cooking books! Her dying wish wasn't to be cremated. It was for Jaxon to take care of the family!"

"Over my dead body," I snapped in rage.

"That can be arranged," Popeye quipped.

I stepped towards my mom. "Jaxon was the reason we moved!"

"Your father's job was the reason we moved," my mom justified.

"Dad's job was the benefit of moving. The purpose was because of what Jaxon did. Why are you taking his side?!"

"I'm not taking his side. If I was, he'd be living with us. But he isn't." I couldn't even process that abrupt assumption as she added, "He's living next door with that neighbour-what's our neighbour's name. Roy, what's that guys name again?" She nudged my dad's elbow and he let go of the boys.

"I don't know," he replied. "We never asked. My only exchange was whenever I needed an important ingredient, I'd yell from the porch while he was watering the lawn. It usually went like this: 'Hey you got any avocados, neighbor? Need some guac for these nachos!' And then he'd be like 'What did you say?' So I'd be like, 'It's nacho business!'"

"Did you ever get the avocado?" Curtis asked.

"I said it's nacho business," my dad told him.

They both looked at each other in silence before they broke into a fit of laughter.

Anger bubbled inside of me and I could feel my hands shake. "He is not living beside us. I will burn our neighbour's house down."

Popeye snorted. "Knowing you, Wendzel, you'll probably end up setting our house on fire by accident."

"We can make smores!" said Emett and Curtis said in unison.

One of the drunk girls squealed and squeezed Curtis's cheek. "Aren't you a cutie?"

"Thanks," he replied, his face warming to a pink. "I used to star in musicals. As a child, I had this really angelic voice that was very high, and then puberty happened and ruined my life."

"You ruin everyone's life," Popeye said with a smirk.

If trouble had ten legs, ten arms, and a crazy personality, my family would be the living version of it.

Curtis put two hands on his hips. "Your forehead ruins photos!"

She touched her forehead as if that part was wounded and lunged at him. He screamed and fell into the couch, the perfectly place pillows bouncing off the cushion.

My dad grabbed onto Popeye to yank her off but she jerked her arm backwards, nailing him in the gut and he tumbled into Emett.

The little boy screamed and was flattened by my dad.

"You're squishing our baby!" our mom cried out and tried to get in the action.

"I think you killed him!" I exclaimed. "Mom! I can't see Emett!"

It took both my mother's strength and mine to lift off my dad, revealing the gasping Emett. "There was so much darkness," he wheezed.

"You're breathing, aren't you?" I said and slapped his back. He yelped and stumbled forward, underestimating my arm power.

"Can someone get this demon-child off of me?!" Curtis wailed, his leg being yanking by Popeye.

"Apologize bitch!" Popeye shouted in his face.

"Hey!" Jaxon's voice shook the house. I could hear the teenagers munch even louder on their snacks as the tension heightened in the room. "Can someone please tell me what's going on?!"

I made an animal-like scream and lunged for him. Faller came out of nowhere and snatched me up before I could spill more of Jaxon's blood.

"Okay, people! Who brought the kids, and Madonna to the party?" Faller announced as I tossed and turned in his grip.

"Madonna?" Popeye asked in confusion.

"He's talking about mom," Curtis filled in.

"Get out," Faller demanded. "All of you!"

Everyone flinched at his lacrosse voice, the one he used on the field during games, and people stopped munching on the snack bowls.

Jaxon continued to cup his nose as he was the first to leave, a spotted blood trail behind him.

My parents followed after him and then the rest of the Baxtard family.

"You know, the whole part of leaving is letting me go," I told Faller who still held me back.

His arms remained still around my waist for a hesitant moment before he released me.

"Can't tie me down, Faller," I joked and turned around to face him. I was taken aback by how hard he was staring at me. "Not that I care about you or anything, but are you good?"

He shook his head as if he could shake off the weird feeling written across his face. "Yeah, why the F do you ask? And since when did you care?"

A frown spread across my lips. "I don't, jheez." I put my back to him and made it out of the house, slightly irritated by that exchange.

By the time I arrived on the lawn covered in empty solo cups and abandoned shoes, Jaxon was gone.

"He walked home to get the blood off his face. You should've seen it! e was starting to look like Carrie," Popeye said, knowing my first question.

We found our car at the end of the street and split up. "Why did Jaxon invite you to the party? That's a bit weird, don't you think?" I asked my mom on the drive home. Dad and the boys took my mom's car while she drove Popeye and I.

"I don't know. Why don't you ask him?"

"I wouldn't be able to utter a single word without choking him to death," I admitted.

Since our town had everything within walking distance, we pulled up in our driveway a minute later. Dad and the boys already made it into the house. As we took off our heeled shoes in the foyer, I had to ask, "Mom, you weren't serious about Jaxon looking after the family right. You and dad are grown adults. You don't need a babysitter."

"It was your grandma's wish, Wen. I can't go against the dead."

"That's so dumb. He ruined my life, Mom. He emotionally tore me apart. Do you understand how toxic it is to have a person like that back in your life?! Am I the only one with logic here?!"

"I love you, Wendzel, and I can promise you no one will let you get hurt you again. But if your grandma loved him so much, there must be something right about the kid."

"I'm disgusted by your response and if I could rewind time so I could unhear it, I would."

"Unhear isn't a word."

"Yes it is. I just used it in a sentence."

Emett interrupted the lovely mother and daughter bonding moment and asked, "Can I watch TV?"

My mom glanced down as he tugged her shirt. "It's a school day tomorrow."

"Can I just watch one more episode of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles!"

My mom rolled her eyes and made a 'shoo' motion. His eyes lit up and I followed the little guy in into the living room, away from my mom. My hands were still shaking in frustration so if I were alone, I would had probably flipped my bed over.

Well, I'd try to anyway. I'd honestly just end up with a back injury.

Mildly interested in what society was currently infecting in the minds of children, I sidled next to Emett on the couch to get my mind off of Jaxon. "I can't believe you like this stuff." My hands waved over the screen. "You can't just trust a talking rat that lives in a sewer and call him your 'Master'. For all you know, he could have rabies!"

"Don't be an idiot, Wen," Emett stated. "They're the Ninja Turtles. They can attack their traitors. And besides, the rat is their father."

I grimaced. "What kind of animal did he fu-"

"Wendzel!" my mom yelled from the hallway.

"-ck with to make a turtle?"

"It's science," Emett casually answered as his eyes never left the television.

"Science... science..."

"Why are you repeating what I said?"

"It works in the movies whenever a character wants a good idea," I replied and continued with, "Science... science... Aha!"

And that, ladies and jerks, was how I came up with the plan that was borderline stupid and genius. The plan that would end Jaxon Arthur King.

Forever.