⊱ ────── {⋆⌘⋆} ────── ⊰

flashback!
— october 1994; van nuys, ca

bella let out a frustrated sigh as she arrived to the apartment, taking her jacket off and placing her daughter down, while johnny stumbled in, attempting to close the front door. "stevie, go to your room baby." bella said as she placed a kiss on her temple. "i'll be there in a few to tuck you in."

"mommy, are you and daddy okay?" stevie said, looking to her mother and father.

"yes, mommy and daddy need to talk, that's all." bella said, holding her tears back. "it's gonna be okay, babe. just go to your room."

the little blonde girl ran to her room as bella paced around the living room, while johnny grabbed another beer from the fridge. "you can't even stand up straight and you're already grabbing another one?" bella snapped at her husband.

johnny remained quiet as he opened up his beer bottle, while bella rolled her eyes. "you're pathetic, y'know?" she said.

"and you're a bitch." johnny slurred, raising his voice as well. "i swear, every time you see your friends from work, you turn into the snobbiest little princess–"

"at least i have a job and don't spend half the day, passed out and still drunk from the night before!" bella said as she rubbed her temples. "you were supposed to get a job but now you're just laying on the couch and you're not making any money! not to mention the dui last week–"

"ah shut up, we would have enough money if you wouldn't go on a fucking shopping spree every day–" johnny slurred as he placed his bottle down on the kitchen counter.

"we? it's my money, john!" bella slurred with a small break in her voice. "i'm the one making money, making sure the rent is on time, and making sure stevie's okay. you haven't done shit other than drink my money away and land in jail!"

while the couple argued, stevie opened her little green eyes and hopped out of bed. she peeked through the little opening of her door and looked at her parents, who were now face-to-face and yelling at each other. the couple had been having problems for a while, due to the fact that johnny had been out of a job and bella was now the breadwinner.

"bullshit, isabella! don't guilt me by bringing stevie into this." johnny slurred as he leaned on the counter for balance. "because while you go off to a nightclub until 3 in the fucking morning, i'm the one who stays up with her and puts her to bed while you go wander off and fuck some ken doll-looking underwear model–"

"shut the fuck up!" bella snapped as she shoved johnny. "don't start accusing me of sleeping around because i could say the same thing about you and that slut from the bar. if anyone comes stumbling in at 3 in the fucking morning, it's your drunk ass! meanwhile, i have your daughter waiting up for daddy to tuck her in, but he's too busy staring at the bartender's tits for hours!"

"you fucking love throwing this at me, don't you?" johnny said as he stood face-to-face with bella."you never fuck up, do you? you're little miss fuckin' perfect who always does everything right and i'm the one that always seems to fuck things up. hate to break it to you but, you're no saint either, baby."

"go fuck yourself, john." bella scoffed as tears streamed from her eyes. the brunette paced around the living room as her soft cries turned into sobs. while bella cried, her husband looked at her as his heart broke watching her cry. as he attempted to intertwine his hand with hers, she angrily pulled away and sobbed some more. "don't fucking touch me."

"alright, fine." johnny said as he grabbed his keys. "keep being a little bitch then! i don't care."

"where are you going now?" bella said as she cleaned her tears.

"like you give a shit." johnny said as he walked out the door then slammed it shut.

⸻

isabella hesitantly pulled on the door to the dojo as the small shop bell announced her arrival. she slowly walked into the dojo, looking around. she had to admit that it was coming along nicely, but her heart raced as she looked to a wall, where the motto of the familiar dojo was painted : strike first, strike hard, no mercy. as she noticed a figure walk out of the office, her heart seem to drop once she caught a glimpse of those golden blonde locks.

"dojo's closed." johnny said as he walked out of the office, locking the door behind him. he then turned and found the brunette standing across the mat. "oh, hey."

"hi." bella said, holding her phone in between her hands. the exes stood there, in silence as they looked at one another. not much as changed in 23 years and it's as if they never stopped seeing each other.

'say something to her. you two can't stay quiet forever.' johnny thought to himself as she admired the brunette.

'he hasn't changed a bit. he still looks as charming as – nope. focus isabella, remember why you came.' bella thought to herself as she took a deep breath.

"long time, huh?" johnny said, breaking a bit of the tension in the room. "you look great, by the way."

bella simply nodded and looked down at her feet. "please don't make this harder for me." she sighed, shooting his compliment down.

johnny messed with the car keys in his hands as he thought of the next thing to say. "alright." he sighed. "so, what are you doing here?"

"i tried calling stevie but she wouldn't answer, so i figured she would be here with you." bella said. "but i really didn't know where to find you, until daniel mentioned that–"

"so you're hanging around larusso now?" johnny said defensively.

"i bumped into him at the beach club. it's not that deep." bella said, furrowing her brows. "besides, whether i hang around him or not is none of your concern."

"well, you just missed stevie. she left a couple minutes ago." johnny said. "she's helping me set up, helping me with paperwork, and she's also gonna help me train my students."

bella only managed to nod and look down at her smartwatch, where she received a message from chrissy that read : jen and i are getting drinks. you in? ;)

"is that all you came to say?" johnny said as she grabbed his black gym bag. "you could've just called me, y'know?"

"yeah, because phone calls have always gone so well." bella said as she restrained herself from starting an argument. "you know, i'll make this easier for both of us and just leave you be."

"you left once, i'm pretty sure i'm used to it by now." johnny said, immediately regretting his choice of words towards bella.

bella turned around and walked out of the dojo and into her car. this was a bad idea, bella knew it from the start, but she did come back to california to visit her daughter. bella sat in her car while the radio softly played. she reached for her phone to reply to chrissy's message :

Chrissy

Jen and I are getting drinks,
You in? 😉

Thanks, but I think I'll head home.
I'm a bit jet lagged. 😌

she placed her phone back into her purse as she nervously ran a hand through her hair. her heart couldn't stop beating, which was a feeling she hadn't felt in a long time. it was no secret that anytime bella looked at johnny or simply heard his name, her heart would beat right out of her chest, it was inevitable. she didn't quite understand why she still got that feeling, but it was a bittersweet feeling. bella snapped out of her thoughts as her phone rang, with a message from chrissy.

Alright, sweet dreams and feel better. I'll see you later. ❤️

⸻

johnny reached over to the passenger seat and grabbed another coors banquet from the six-pack he had purchased from the convenience store next to the dojo, while he sat in his red firebird. after bella left from the dojo, he drove to the overlook outside encino and sat there, thinking as the radio played journey's faithfully. the soft rock ballad reminded him of the simpler days, back in high school, when he and bella were just a couple of kids who were crazy about each other.

the night he and bella signed the papers, johnny went drinking and after getting a few drinks in, he found himself where he is tonight. he often found himself here; looking out at the city lights, drinking a couple of beers, and thinking about bella. tonight was no different as he didn't expect to see bella after so many years. sure, they saw each other while stevie was growing up and one night at a party, while bella was in town. although they hadn't seen each other since his mother's funeral, she still looked as beautiful and radiant as ever.

johnny leaned back into the driver's seat and cursed to himself as he remembered those final words that he had said to her back at the dojo. 'you made things worse, dumbass.' he thought to himself as he finished another beer. as the journey song continued to play, he turned the volume up as he continued to think about the brunette. as he looked out into the city, he missed her a little extra tonight and thought about her. 'i wonder if she thinks about me the way i think about her.'

meanwhile in her burbank apartment, bella laid in bed listening to the same song playing on the radio. she couldn't sleep with too many thoughts racing through her head. she ran a hand through her hair as she took a deep breath and got out of bed.

for 23 years, she convinced herself that she hated him, yet not a day went by that bella hadn't thought about johnny. how could she not think about him; anytime she looked at her beautiful daughter, she remembered him and the way his blue eyes sparkled when he first held their daughter in his arms. after all, the only thing left from her and johnny's relationship was stevie.

bella walked over to her work area and attempted to distract herself by catching up on work. as she opened her laptop, she looked over to her desk and as she searched for some sketches and other files, she came across a small photo booth strip of her and johnny from one of their dates to golf n' stuff. she felt her eyes water as she looked at the picture of those two smiling kids, who shared a kiss in the third photo. that's all they were; two kids in love.

snapping out of her trance, she cleaned her tears and placed the small photo strip aside as she ran a hand through her hair. she shut her laptop off and walked into the kitchen as she opened the fridge to grab a bottle of cherry coke. bella then walked over to the sofa and just laid there, listening to the soft ballad playing on the radio, that was now coming to an end. she missed him and although she's tried to hide it for 23 years, she couldn't and she still can't.

i'm still yours.
i'm forever yours.
faithfully.