"Thank you for meeting up with me for lunch today!" I said eagerly as Sandra and I sat down at our favorite lunch spot.

"Oh of course, anything to get out of that stupid office. Without you there it's so boring." She rolled her eyes, pushing the menu to the side. We've come here often enough that neither of us really needed to even look. We both knew what we wanted.

"Sorry, if there was a better way to handle everything, I would." I stirred the water in the glass the server had sat down a moment earlier, thinking about how everything was going to change so drastically.

"How are things going in the office other than me being gone and it being boring?" I asked. We usually had meetings on Thursday mornings, and I wasn't able to attend this one in person with the transition to remote work.

"The meeting this morning was pointless. The boss went over all the reports from last week basically as nothing has changed. The only interesting thing about it was that he did mention he wanted more notice from employees when big things were going on in their lives. It seemed super weird to me that he would even make a comment about it. It's not like you told him the day before that you weren't coming back to work. You literally went into his office and asked him for the time and the chance to work from home."

When the server returned, we ordered our food.

"He really said something like that?" I asked, my stomach turning in circles. Was I really that bad of an employee that he was going to start using me as an example of what not to do in the business meetings?

"I don't know. He never gave any more information other than just simple asking for some more notice and then left the meeting. It was really abrupt. I wonder if he had something else going on that he isn't letting on to his employees. You know he isn't very social."

She was right. Our boss never let anyone know what was going on in his personal life. He wouldn't show up to the holiday parties, or answer any of the team building emails where we are supposed to get to know each other. He always seemed to have better or other things to do.

"Oh well I guess."

"What's been going on with you though? Things getting any easier?"

"Nope, tonight we have to tell the kids." I was dreading this afternoon. Logan was supposed to be home from work somewhat early and before dinner we were going to tell them that he was leaving on another deployment and that they were going to stay with their grandma for a few weeks. I knew they weren't going to take it very well.

"Oh god, that's gotta be so nerve wrecking to think about." Sandra placed her hands on her cheeks.

"It's the worst thing. Mazie is always so heart broken when her dad has to leave. She has a much harder time than Marcus does, but that's her dad. She and Logan and thick as thieves. They do pretty much everything together and she has him wrapped so tight around her finger I don't know if she could even feel it anymore." I wanted to run away and ignore the rest of the day. Unfortunately though, I had to be an adult and be strong for the kids.

"Call me if you need anything with that. Seriously I know I don't understand the lifestyle more than just watching you live it but please let me know if there is anything I can do to help you guys out. I hate seeing you struggle and have to deal with these emotions."

"You just being a good friend is all I need. Thank you for always understanding or at least doing your best to try and understand."

~*~

"How was school?" I ask as the kids come rushing through the front door. I had snacks ready for them, knowing this was going to be a difficult day. Logan had texted me on his way home after he picked them up letting me know to get everything ready.

"It was so good momma, I really like what we are doing in our science portion of the class." Mazie eagerly grabbed some of the crackers with peanut butter, plopping it in her mouth before sitting down at the dining table.

"I love that you get so excited about school." I really did, I wasn't that way as a kid and to see Mazie blossom with her school work made me so happy. Marcus on the other hand could do a little better with his grades, but my witty boy was better at other things.

"Mazie is such a nerd!" Marcus shouts, grabbing a few of the snacks as well. devouring them as quickly as he could. I wonder if they hadn't eaten their lunches.

"Hey babe." Logan gave me a quick kiss on the lips. There was no excitement in his voice. I didn't blame him, things were about to get serious in this household and we were going to have to be a strong united force.

"Are you ready?" I whispered to him. Grabbing his hand for a sense of comfort.

"No, but I never will be. I hate watching my little girl cry. But we need to get this over with. I told their principal they wouldn't be in school tomorrow, so everything is all set for us. I haven't told them anything about that though."

I nodded, taking a seat at the dining table with the kids. Logan dropped of their bags, before joining us.

"Kids, your dad and I have something we need to talk to you two about. We need you to listen and you can ask as many questions as you need to."

The twins both looked at us at the same time, glancing between the two of us trying to figure out which one would be the better one to focus on.

"So your father will be leaving again. We found out he has to do one more deployment..." I paused to see how they handled the first portion of the news. Mazie immediately started shaking her head. Marcus just looked down at the table, it seemed like he was trying to mentally will this all away.

"Secondly, Aunt Abby is really really sick and I need to go help them out for a few weeks, potentially a month. Because she is so sick you two will have to go and stay with your grandma for a while." I was ready to jump to whatever kid needed me most while Logan tended to the other kid. But they both just sat there taking in the information.

"You have to leave us too mommy?" Marcus finally spoke. His voice was frail, quivering with every word he said.

"Unfortunately yes, but it won't be for nearly as long and we will be able to video chat every single day." I felt like I was understanding Logan just a little bit better when it came to leaving the kids. My heart broke In two. I didn't want to be away from them, facetime was never enough. Logan was about to do a much longer stint of time than me and with no communication as well.

"No, this isn't fair. Everyone else at school, why does my daddy have to go away!" Mazie shouted. The tears were finally rolling from her eyes. She was handling the news better than I had expected.

"Your dad signed up to protect our freedoms. To protect them he has to go away sometimes. We were supposed to be done with deployments but he is needed somewhere. Our freedom is what allows us to go to the park whenever we want, and to choose what we eat. Lots of stuff we get to do is because we have freedom." I reached for her, trying to give her any sense of comfort I could. She pulled away, jumping up from the table.

"This isn't fair!" She shouted again, running away to her room. Logan jumped in his seat, ready to follow after her, I caught him with my hand, pushing him back into the chair.

"We will go check on her in a minute, she obviously wants some alone time. We need to make sure Marcus doesn't have any questions." I tried to keep my voice low, low enough that Marcus wouldn't be able to hear us. That didn't work like I wanted it to.

"I understand momma, I need to be strong and protect Mazie and make sure nothing happens to her." My heart shattered at what Marcus had said.

"No no no, baby." I wasn't sure how to tell him that this wasn't true. I loved that he wanted to protect his sister but that wasn't his job. At least not in this moment. He needed to protect himself too. I didn't know if Logan would feel different about it though.

"Yes, good job Marcus, I know you will protect your sister while I'm gone and you will be strong just like your daddy, but you know what else you need to do, just like your dad? You need to be real with yourself. You need to be open when things are getting too rough. If you are having a bad day, let your mom or your grandma know and they can help you through it. Don't just bottle everything up because you need to protect your sister. She is tough too. For you to be the best you can be, you need to make sure you are taking care of yourself emotionally as well as physically. Do you understand that?" I was thankful Logan had jumped in and answered the comment for me.

"Yes, I understand that." Marcus paused for a moment. He looked at me once more, his big blue eyes starting to show the tears forming behind them. "Mommy, right now I hurt right here." He mutters, pointing to his chest.

"Me too, me too Marcus." I opened my arms for him, offering him a hug if he needed it. He shook his head and went towards his dad. Logan did the same, wrapping him up as tight as he could with his arms.

"The good news is buddy, you don't have to go to school tomorrow, we took you out so you could spend the whole weekend with your dad." Logan's voice felt frail now. He could barely hold his emotions back.

Everyone still around the table were on the verge of tears and at this point we might need to all go to our different corners of the house to cry. Everyone was trying to be so strong for everyone else.

"I'm going to go check on Maze." I muttered, standing from the chair. The leg of the chair scratched the floor, sending a loud noise shooting through the apartment. It startled me more than I would have liked to admit.

"Mazie?" I lightly knocked on the door frame as I peered into her room. She was on her bed, her pillow tucked tightly between her knees.

"It's okay to be sad honey, I'm really sad too about your dad leaving." I sat down on the edge of the bed, patting her hip in hopes she would respond to me.

"I just don't get it." Mazie moans, pulling the pillow even closer to herself.

"What part of it?"

"Why would dad sign up to leave us?"

"Do you like the world you live in? Do you like being able to say what you want, do what you want for the most part, and be whoever you want to be?" Mazie turned to look at me.

"Yes." She sniffled, finally releasing the pillow from its death grip.

"That's why daddy signed up. To make sure his little girl could always do all those things, and be anything she wanted to be."