The computer and I met again on another simple Monday morning. The kids were in school, and Logan was at work, even Sandra was sitting across from me. It was easy to get the kids out the door today, and Logan was finally back into his routine. We were all starting to settle into what our new life would be like, at least for the next few months.

School was going to end soon, and one day Logan would retire from the military and we would have the option to move wherever we wanted. There wouldn't be anything holding us to one spot anymore.

Sandra peeked around the edge of her computer to look at me, a large smile growing on her face.

"What?" I question, confusion probably covered mine.

"I'm all caught up on my emails now, so I'm bored. What's up? How's life going?" She placed her elbow on the table leaning against it, propping her head up.

"It's been good, really good actually. We haven't fought since just before our date." I looked at my own computer, confused at how she already had all of her emails answered for the day. Did she check them while she was at home? I had thousands that I needed to work through and it felt like I'd get one taken care of and three more would replace it.

"You mean the date you had on saturday?" I didn't like the tone she posed the question with. Yes, that's exactly when I meant, But considering Logan had been home a little over a month and a half now, and we'd had so many big blowouts it felt like a good accomplishment to have a few days under our belt. Even if it was just a few days.

"Yes Sandra, I mean the date we had on saturday." I wasn't sure I should add anymore to that. My mind was racing all over the place, emails, Sandra's conversation, and Logan.

"Did you guys have a good date? Were you able to talk about some of the things that have been bothering you?" I sigh as the questions start coming. I didn't want to focus on these dang emails. I slid my chair to the side so that I could see her better.

"Yes, it was an amazing date. It started off a little rocky, but in all honesty once we started getting into the deeper conversations it got better. I feel like we both have a better understanding now." I smiled, tapping my fingers on the desk.

"I'm glad you were able to do that. Dates are so important, and I wish my husband would take me on some more." Sandra and I got along so well because we were in similar phases of life. She had been married for a little over eleven years. Logan and I had been married just over ten. Her husband and she had two kids a few years older than Marcus and Mazie. Basically, everything in our life was similar, or the exact same, except for the biggest difference. Her husband was a civilian and mine wasn't.

Her husband was free to do what he wanted after he got off work, or on the weekends. They didn't have to get permission to travel more than so many miles. He could leave whenever he wanted, switch jobs whenever he wanted, they could live wherever they wanted.

They had all the freedom that we gave up when Logan joined the military.

I wasn't there when Logan had signed the papers, stating he would start his service in the military. We met years into his career and he was so set in his ways that he was never going to get married because he's seen what the military does to relationships. It's not easy on them and most of his friends are on their second or third marriage.

Sandra wouldn't ever have to deal with any of those stressors.

The things that only military wives would have to think about.

"Why don't you make him take you on more, then?" I didn't quite understand what she was referring to. I had thought she and her husband went on dates at least three times a month. It seemed like they were always fitting them in wherever they worked.

"I try, but he has so many work meetings now that he's gotten his promotion that it's hard for him to come home during the week and have enough energy to go on a date. We don't enjoy going on the weekends as much because he doesn't get to see the kids during the school week much. Now that they are older, they have sports and all these things we have to drag them to as well." She paused for a moment. "It just gets to be a lot and eventually you have to stop going on your weekly dates and make them a twice a month thing."

Most of me felt bad for her. She was my best friend and if she was sad about something, then I didn't like it. But another small part of me felt like these problems were so small in comparison. Her husband doesn't get to see the kids during the school week, but he could. He just needed to make that a priority. Logan doesn't even get that option for months at a time. If he could, he would.

I shook my head. It wasn't fair of me to compare my situation to Sandra's, though it was hard not to.

My phone started ringing, pulling me out of my thoughts. I glanced at the caller I.D. It was the school.

"Hi, this is Ari!" I answered quickly, hoping that everything was okay. When the school called, you knew it was something important.

"Yes, Mrs Synnott, I'm afraid we have Marcus here in the office, who seems to have come down with a stomach bug or something. We need you to come and pick him up, please." The kind voice on the other end of the line helped alleviate some of the worry when I had first picked up the phone.

"Oh, I'll be there as soon as I can!" I muttered, quickly gathering my things from the desk and hanging up the phone. I needed to get to the school to pick up Marcus, and If I couldn't get ahold of Logan, I needed to grab Mazie as well.

"Sorry, sick kid, I'll work from home today." I waved at the boss as I rushed out the front door of the office.

Once I was in the car, I started dialing Logan's command number. The phone would ring and ring and finally a strange voice would pick it up, announcing who he was before asking who I needed to speak to.

"I'm looking for Synnott, it's his wife." I made a turn, heading in the direction of the school.

"Okay, let me go look for him." The phone went silent and after what felt like twenty minutes, the voice finally came back.

"He's not here right now. Can I leave a message for him?" I knew better than to leave one. They would pass it around the office multiple times until it finally found Logan three days later.

"No, do you know where he is?" I question, knowing for a fact this person probably had no clue who my husband was, and they were just scheduled to work the phones.

"No, ma'am I do not." With that, he hung up the phone.

"Shit!" I shouted, now dialing Logan's personal cell phone in hopes that maybe he had just got off work earlier than expected and was already on his way home.

But that was less successful than the command phone, as his phone went straight to voicemail. This meant he was still at work somewhere and couldn't be reached. I tried a few more times, hoping one of these times it would ring. It never did, though.

I wouldn't be able to rely on Logan to pick Mazie up from school. This meant I'd have to just take them both out for the day.

I hated more than anything when moments like this popped up while Logan was home. It was easier when he was away because I knew he wouldn't be able to help. But when he was home, and he was working a job not that much further than mine, it was frustrating that I still felt alone in these emergency situations.

He would never understand how hard it was to explain the whole thing to your boss, that yes, you have to leave because even though your husband is home; he is unavailable. Then you have to explain that even though you are also at work, and he is at work, his work is more important than your work and can't be bothered.

Bosses rarely like to have this conversation and it was always hard to have it with them.

Many times when we would move across the country, I'd dream of not working in hopes of never having to have this kind of conversation again. Logan made decent enough money, and could technically live a pretty nice life off of his income alone, if we worked at it. But the months that he is gone, and with me being home all by myself during the day, I mentally couldn't take it anymore.

I so desperately needed something to sink myself into while he was away, and now that the kids were older, they didn't need me like they used to.

When the twins were only a few months old and he left for the first time, I was so overwhelmed with baby duties that I barely even noticed he was gone. The first thing I did when he got back was take a nap. That was our easiest deployment yet.

If you are a military spouse and you don't get the advice 'make sure to keep busy', then you aren't really a part of the community, nor have you told anyone what your spouse does.

This keeping a busy mindset will drive some women off a cliff. Those that are naturally busy bodies will run themself into the dirt, not allowing any time to take a breather and feel their emotions. This advice always drove me nuts.

Those thoughts drifted away as I pulled into the school circle drive. I left my car parked in front of the front doors, not worried about anything other than getting to my baby. I shot through the school doors and took a left towards the office. Marcus was there laying on the couch holding his stomach.

"I need you to pull Mazie out of class as well. If I have to take Marcus, I have to take her as well." I smiled at the front desk lady and rushed to sit next to my son.

"Hey buddy, you're not feeling good? Did this just come on, or did you wake up feeling kind of crummy?" I scratched his back, waiting for Mazie to come to the office.

"I've been sick all day," He groaned, nuzzling his head even further into my lap. "Where is dad? I want dad to come home too?"

"Your dad is at work, but he will be home as soon as he can." Before I could say anything else, Mazie came flying through the door, excited to not have to spend the rest of her day at school.

"Yes! Let's blow this pop tart." She shouts, walking towards the front doors.

"Mazie!" I shouted. She turned to look at me with those big blue eyes. "For one, we need to help your brother to the car, and second, if you are going to use a phrase, at least use it right, it's popsicle stand." I smiled, winking at her. She threw her hands up in an oops fashion.

The two of us helped Marcus out to the car, and both of them once again asked for their father. I reminded them that he would be home for dinner, but if I had been thinking, I would have realized he wasn't coming home tonight at all.

It was a duty day.