"Ari..." the sound still drifts through my mind like a childhood memory. It had sounded so familiar, and yet so unique and new at the same time.

I turned on my heel, chasing the sound as far as I could, wishing to hear it once more. When my eyes were finally adjusting to the new scenery I knew my wait was over. There he was.

Logan stood in front of me, tall and proud as he held a tiny bouquet of flowers in his hand. I cursed myself mentally for allowing the tears to come so quickly. Usually I survived longer than this. My heart was pounding in my chest and the longer I stood there, the more I realized I was wasting time.

I launched towards the man, not worrying about the flowers as I allow my body to crash into his like a tidal wave. The first hug in nine months was always the weirdest but most sweet. His arms found their way around my body like they've never been there before, exploring new territory with every stroke of his fingers. Her grabbed my shirt, clenching it into a fist in his hands as he squeezed most of the air out of my lungs.

I didn't mind though.

I never wanted this moment to end.

Logan was the first to pull away, and honestly It hurt. The thought of his arms not being around me drove me crazy. Was that really a long enough hug for him? But I was wrong, as his arms slipped away from my body his hands raced to my face, cupping it as he pulled me in for a deep long kiss.

I could almost imagine the world around us fading to black like at the end of all the romance movies.

But that was just it, this isn't a romance movie. This is my real life. My husband was gone and now he is back. Standing on this pier right in front of me was the man I vowed to love for the rest of me life, no matter what was thrown at us.

The sparks are bubbling up in my stomach, gripping me tighter than they ever have before. I feel weak in the knees struggling to keep my footing. But Logan is there to catch me with his arms, his body cradling mine like it was the last thing we ever wanted in this world.

"Are you ready for some food?" He whispers, his lips still grazing mine ever so slightly. Chills rush down my spine as the chilly ocean breeze dances through my hair. His hand cradles the back of my neck, pulling me in for one last kiss before finally letting go of me.

I nod my head, a wave of emotions washing over my body once again. It didn't matter how long he was gone, he could still make me feel this way.

"Hey, you smashed your flowers?" He quizzically inspects the petals that were now bent, the leaves that were half plucked off, and the steps that were smashed into a straight line against the edge of the paper.

"I'll do it again if you keep complaining." I point my finger at the flowers, and he throws his hands in the air.

"Save it for tonight," Another wave of chills run all over my skin, mingling with the goosebumps that were already forming. The first night Logan was home, was always the best. Logans fingers trace my hand, finally grasping it for the first time in what felt like an eternity, he led me into the restaurant.

It was loud, the kitchen was right in the middle with open windows so you could see in. They were shouting back and forth the different food orders as flames shoot from the pans, almost engulfing the chef himself. Other Navy couples are scattered around the room, which made sense since this was the first place to eat when they got off the boat. It was almost like a tradition for the crew to come here.

None of them wanted to be bothered, just like we didn't. So it really works out for all of us even if we did come to the same place.

Logan and I were seated fairly quickly. The waitress had really short red hair hanging out of the bottom of her cap. They always dressed up like this when the sailors were back in town. I'm not sure how they knew, but they did. She wore a mock navy uniform, more like a pin up with a professional twist to it. Her teeth were almost blinding behind the bright red lipstick she wore.

"Here is where you will be sitting, is there anything else I can get for you?" Her voice was soft, and oddly easy to hear in such a loud room.

He waved her away, waiting for the waitress to bring us our drinks. The menus were always so crisp and clean and I held it in my hand thinking about the time my husband spent away.

"What do you want to know this time?" I ask, looking into those deep green eyes just like our kids had. They were so lucky to look like him. It made him being away only that much harder though.

"Everything, I always want to know everything." He smiles, leaning forward in his chair he places his hands on the table showing that he was fully engaged in what I had to say.

I told myself every time he left I was going to keep a journal, write in it every single day that he would always know what he missed. I tried for the first few weeks but life seemed to get so boring doing that. I found it forced me to focus so much on something that I couldn't change and I had to stop. So now I just tell him whatever comes to mind.

"The kids are doing great in school, Mazie is excelling like she always has and I wouldn't mention that to her because she is a little bummed right now." I open the menu looking for something good to pick at. I hardly was able to eat during this lunch. The nerves turning in my stomach made it difficult to keep anything down.

"Why is she upset?" His voice almost startles me. It is so familiar but yet so abstract and new at the same time. I'd dream of his voice for the last nine months and here it was, finally dancing in my ears.

"Well her teacher didn't think she put as much work into a project as she thought she did. It was good, so I don't understand why the teacher docked her for it, but she didn't try as hard as she usually does so it all makes sense," I placed the menu back on the table, there was really nothing that I wanted to eat.

"So did you talk to the teacher?" He asks, looking over his very own menu before setting it back down on the table. Conversations with him were so easy, so natural.

"No, I felt like this was a learning moment for Mazie and if the grade is really important to her then she will figure out how to fix it. I'm watching to make sure it doesn't go downhill." I smile across the table, trying to take in his face. He was neatly shaved, and the flowers -- though destroyed-- were placed on the seat next to us. His eyes were clear, and it looked like he was treated well on this deployment.

"Why didn't you talk to her teacher Ari?" He asks, setting his hands against the table. My heart skips a beat in my chest. I didn't meant to upset him. The mood of the conversation switches almost immediately. My mind spinning in circles as I try to explain myself.

He isn't here, he doesn't know how things are.

"I just..." Thankfully the waitress was there, setting down two glasses of water before attempting to take our order.

"I'll have the Navy Burger, no lettuce please." Logan stammers, handing her the menu.

"Side of fries with that?" She asks looking at him as if he was the most handsome man in the world.

He was, but still.

"Yes of course." He smiles, she turns to me, the smile fading off her face quicker than it had appeared.

"What for you?" Her words weren't as open, or as willing to please and I couldn't help but roll my eyes at this. Young girls always loved the thought of a military man, but they didn't know what they were getting themselves into.

"Can I just get your house salad with no tomato or egg?" I question, hoping she would catch that. I was allergic to tomato and hated the thought of eggs on my salad. She nods her head.

"What kind of dressing with that?" She asks, before turning on her heel ready to rush away with our menus.

"Ranch," Without another word she was gone.

"Did you see that?" I question pointing in the direction where she had gone. Logan shakes his head, leaning against the table once again.

"So what about Marcus?" I could tell he was still annoyed that I hadn't talked to Mazie's teacher, I just didn't feel the need to jump into her affairs like that, especially not at this age. She shouldn't learn that her mother was just going to safe her whenever she didn't do enough work to get the grade she wanted.

"Marcus is doing really well, he was held back for a little bit on his reading due to some issues when you first left but he is caught up now and honestly leaps and bounds ahead of most of the other kids." I took a drink of the cold water, hoping he would take that statement better.

"What do you mean when I first left? Are you blaming me for all of the struggles the kids face in school? Are you helping them with homework? Are they getting enough sleep at night?" The anger was starting to boil up inside myself. I shook my head, closing my eyes to take a deep breath.

"Yes Logan, I am doing the best I can with the situation we are in. I help each of them with their homework every night, but they really are good kids that have the drive to do it on their own. Mazie most the time has it done before we even get home and yes I do check her on it, every single time." I held the water in my hand using it kind of as a way to hide myself from him.

Usually it took us a little longer to get into our first spat. But as the years go on we realize how little time we have. How many more of these will we have to go through before we can be done.

Logan was trying to do a full career and with six more years on his contract there wasn't much we could do.

"I'm sorry Ari, I just get so stressed about them while I'm underway." I shook my head once again. He gets stressed about the kids while he isn't even dealing with them. Doesn't have to see them, or help them. He doesn't have to push them through their sadness when dad leaves and doesn't come home and on top of all of that work a job, and hold down the fort. Pay all the bills that you had to manage and juggle while still working a full time job yourself just to make it through the day.

Deployments are hard on everyone, but they are a hell of a lot easier when you have something to do. He always had something to do. The energy it takes to decide what to do, and plan out your day, and take care of the kids was exhausting. My body felt weak. Like I could fall asleep and just stay that way for the next hundred years.

"It's okay, it's good to have you home."