"Hey, let's go check out that stand, it looks interesting," Justine said. She wasn't actually here to look at any of the stands, but more to support me, which I was grateful for. 

          "As long as we go to the Spain one next, that's fine," my other friend Axel said, nudging me from behind just to annoy me. I of course didn't fall prey to this and simply stuck my tongue out at my Spanish friend childishly.

          "Okay," I started to say, "let's--" I froze. 

           There, standing just feet away from me was someone I hadn't seen since middle school. My eyes involuntarily zeroed in on him, and I scanned him from head to toe. Well he had definitely experienced a major glow up. His dark blond hair was styled elegantly, slight stubble adorned his sharp jawline, and a golden tan accentuated his brooding eyes. I never thought in my life that I'd find him attractive, but boy was it hard to tear my eyes away from him.

           "It's been a long time since I've seen him," I remarked out loud.

           Axel turned to see who I was looking at and said, "Rielle's brother?"

           I nodded. 

           "I met him at a party once, and he was pretty nice," Axel said, shrugging.

           Still not taking my eyes off of him I said, "He was kind of mean back in middle school."

           That wasn't true. Well, not entirely true anyway. The thing was, I hadn't thought about him in years, so my memory of him was still a little rusty. But as we weaved our way through the stands, my eyes constantly on the lookout for him, I found myself recalling bits and pieces of faraway memories. 

           We had been in swim team together back in middle school. I think that was the only time we interacted even if he was only a year older than me. The truth was that he was often angry when I saw him, and he wasn't exactly the nicest guy when he was angry. I remember he used to bang his sports bag against the fence as we walked past, a deep scowl on his face. If you dared talk to him when he was in one of his moods, he could be quite harsh. Because of that, my memory of him had been tarnished, but as I thought about him more and more during the fair, I remembered that he wasn't always like that. In fact, I was pretty sure I remembered instances when we would actually talk on our way to the pool, hanging behind everybody. Of course, this was when he wasn't pissed off, but I knew now the reason for him being so angry, and why he changed schools while his sisters didn't. 

           He was the eldest of three, and as such, probably more aware of what was happening in his family than the rest. Let's just say that his parents didn't get along very well, and well... from what I gathered from word of mouth, his father had cheated on his mom. It was one of those cases where the father cheated, then went off with the younger woman, and oh! She's pregnant! After knowing this, I understood why he had been angry all the time. I had even heard that he had refused to talk to his father for quite a while because of the way he had treated his mom. The problem is that no matter what he did, he remained his dad. How could you just not talk to your dad? Not to mention, he had apparently been having problems in school, especially because of this, and didn't have many friends. 

          In retrospect, I wish I'd tried a little harder to talk to him back in middle school those times we had walked side by side to swim practice. Maybe I could have done something for him, become his friend. Maybe if I had, we would even be friends today, but I was extremely reserved and shy at the time. That's the thing about looking back at what you've done. You always wonder what if? What if I had done things differently? What if I had said yes instead of no? What if I had spoken up just a little bit? Although dwelling on these things may serve for the future, it's best not to think on them too much lest we get wrapped up in the past when we should be living in the present. 

         Before I knew it, my friends had all left, and my mom was waiting for me in the lobby, ready to go, and yet my eyes were still scanning the room for him. And there he was, right in front of me. He was talking to a teacher with his mom and dad beside him. I instinctively slowed down my pace. I don't know why I wanted him to look at me, to see me and have some sort of flicker of recognition. But it didn't happen. He didn't even glance my way. He just smiled as he conversed with the teacher, his eyes lighting up. I can't remember what color they were now. 

          And then I was by my mother's side, walking out of the building and I left him behind along with my feeling of loss, just someone I used to know.

So... um, this is kind of out of the blue, I know, but this popped into my head today, and I just had to write it even if I do have homework to do. I always have ideas and tell myself I'll write them down later and it doesn't happen, so I was like, no this time! Anyway, this is actually kind of personal, and happened pretty recently. For the sake of privacy, I've altered some of the names of the people in the story, and omitted his name. For some reason, as soon as I saw him, I was just hit by a rush of nostalgia, you know? The what if is very real to me, and even now I'm wondering what could've been different. Oh well... I guess some things are just not supposed to be. Anyway, I actually loved writing this even if it's kind of short, and I hope you guys liked it too and could sort of relate. Please let me know your thoughts in the comments, and let me know if you like this kind of thing or not.