Hey all!

Just a quick author's note- this is one of my favorite chapters, so I hope you enjoy it too. It also turned out pretty long.

Please watch the video attached, it adds to the feel of it (also never realized how hard it was to find videos from the last Bad tour show)!

Don't forget to comment & vote, and tell me what you think!

Lots of love,
~ShoamEmily

~

27th of January, 1989
Michael is 30, Angela is 24

Angela: "Ange! We gotta go! You said be ready at 12." Julia knocked on the bathroom door.

"In a minute!" I said.

Frustrated, I adjusted the bomber jacket I had put on in hopes to hide my lower abdomen.

It seemed more bloated since I discovered the truth yesterday, making me feel insecure.

My jeans were so tight, too, and I hated it.

And to top it all off, the makeup I wore barely hid the tiredness under my eyes.

I didn't sleep at all last night, and not because of a headache or nausea, but because my mind just kept racing.

All I could think about was this baby; how its father would react to the news, and what the future might hold for us.

Abortion had crossed my mind, but I doubted I could go through with it. Or, for that matter, would want to.

I sighed, dragging the last touch of lipstick on my lips before opening the door.

Julia and Lori were both ready to go, dressed in proper concert attire that I had picked up for them.

They still had no clue as to where we were actually going.

We grabbed our things, including some overnight bags, since we would be spending the night at my parents' in LA.

"Seriously, where are we going?" Julia asked for the millionth time as we settled into her car.

"I can't say, it'll ruin the surprise."

She scoffed, arms crossing against her chest. "But-"

"Would you just drive, Jules?" I asked.

"Fine."

We were off, and as we started the drive down to LA, I couldn't help the butterflies that fluttered inside my stomach.

~

We reached my childhood home around 6:30 that evening.

Barely having time to settle in, we all made our way back to the car.

Luciano rode with us, Rosa and my parents were in the other car, and never once did my brother stop asking about where we were going.

"Just tell us, Ange!" he insisted, again.

"We'll be there in a few, and you'll see. Now seriously Luci, stop it, or we're turning back." I rolled my eyes.

"I doubt we'll be turning back if it has anything to do with your boyfriend," he continued. "Isn't it his last sh-"

I hit his shoulder, not caring if I hurt him.

He wouldn't just ruin the surprise, but the entire evening.

Julia and Lori, who were up front, exchanged curious glances.

That's when we pulled up to the Los Angeles Memorial Sports Arena, as per my instructions.

Banners with Michael's face were everywhere around us.

"Ange, what..." Lori looked so confused.

"No way!" Luciano said. "I knew it!"

Julia, still not quite catching on, parked the car. "Why are we here, Angela? Isn't Michael Jackson performing tonight? Why would you want to go to a Michael Jackson conce-"

She cut herself off, gasping when she finally realized.

"So you did sleep with him that night!"

That night, and many nights to follow... That's how I found myself in my current situation, Jules.

Lori blinked, "What?"

"Isn't it obvious?" Julia eyed me. "He's 'Joey'! She's dating him!"

"Who?!"

"Michael Jackson, duh," Luciano rolled his eyes. "He even came to our house for Christmas."

Lori stared at me, just like Julia, but before they could say anything else, I pulled out the backstage passes Michael gave me.

"So... Are you guys just gonna keep staring at me, or do you want to meet him?"

~

We passed security without a hitch, and everyone who came with me seemed shocked.

It was Julia and Lori who gaped at everything, though, looking around our hectic surroundings.

Crew members were running around, there was yelling, and you could hear fans outside calling for Michael.

I wasn't as amazed by it, not anymore at least. One might say I've gotten used to it.

That's when it dawned on me; maybe I was getting used to his crazy world, and maybe we could work everything out.

"No fucking way," Julia gasped, snapping me out of my thoughts. "That's Frank DiLeo!"

Frank walked over to me with a huge smile, a typical cigar in his mouth.

He opened his arms, and I obliged, receiving a bone-crushing hug. "Angela!"

"Hi, Frank." I said.

The strong scent of his cigar almost made my head spin, the nausea finding its way back to my stomach.

He let me go, quickly greeting my family and friends.

Showing us to our seats, right on the side of the stage, he made sure we had everything we needed.

As everyone settled into their seats, the opening act started.

Frank pulled me aside, "Mike said he'll come say hi to everyone after the show, but he wants to see you before he goes on. I'll come get you in 30 minutes, alright?"

I nodded, figuring that would be as good a time as any to tell him about my recent discovery.

~

I followed Frank through the endless amounts of people running around, just trying to do their jobs.

We stopped in front of Michael's dressing room door.

The manager knocked for me, and I heard Michael's soft voice telling us to enter.

Our eyes locked immediately when the door opened, a grin appearing on face.

My heartbeat quickened at the sight of him, but the weight of what I had to say felt heavier than ever.

"You're on in 5, Mike." Frank reminded him before shutting the door.

I still stood by it, my mind screaming at me to move and go to him, but I didn't budge.

He came over to me instead, his arms pulling me to him by my waist.

Those large hands of his found my ass, making me come closer so our bodies would be pressed together.

My breath hitched when his hips accidentally brushed against my lower stomach.

"I am so glad you're here," he said, leaning down to press a long kiss on my lips. "A week is way too long..."

Michael's lips felt warm against mine, his kiss slow and tender, but my mind was somewhere else.

It was spinning, trying to figure out how to break the news to him.

My hands rested against his chest, trembling slightly.

"I missed you, too." I managed when he pulled away, shakier than intended.

He noticed, brows knit together, his hands gently rubbing my lower back. "What's wrong, Angie? You seem... Off."

I knew, just one small glance into his brown eyes and I would cave.

There was no escaping it, because he placed a finger under my chin, making me look up.

And there they were.

Lined with some eyeliner, but still those same eyes I loved so much.

How do I even say it?

"Michael..." I began, barely louder than a whisper.

He paused, sensing the shift in my tone. His eyes searched mine, softening. "What is it?"

I hesitated. My heart raced as the words seemed to be stuck in my throat.

But I had to say it because he had to know.

"I think I'm pregnant."

His expression changed, and those big brown eyes told me nothing.

He stared at me like he was trying to make sure he heard right.

Silence wrapped around us, cutting off the distant noise of the crowd and the busy backstage chaos.

"Are you sure?" he finally asked, voice flat.

I nodded, my heart still pounding in my chest. "I took a test yesterday, and... It was positive."

He blinked, still processing what I just said.

For a moment, I thought I might see some emotion on his face.

Joy, fear, anything. But his expression remained neutral.

Before he could say anything else, a crew member barged in, calling out his name. "Michael, you're on in a minute!"

The urgency brought him back to reality.

He looked between the crew member and I, the disbelief still clear on his face.

"I- I need to go." he stuttered, his voice full of confusion and a hint of panic.

I swallowed the lump in my throat, feeling disappointed.

This wasn't how I imagined telling him. But there was no time to process anything.

"Okay." I whispered, trying to hide the hurt in my voice.

He hesitated for a second, as if wanting to say something, but then the crew member was at his side again, ushering him towards the stage.

I watched him leave, feeling utterly vulnerable and alone.

All I wanted was to talk, to figure out what came next, but he was already being swept up into his world again.

~

I returned to my seat, the crowd's roar for Michael echoing in my ears.

My heart never calmed down, even as the lights dimmed, and the opening notes of 'Wanna Be Startin' Somethin' filled the arena.

I clapped along, forcing myself to smile.

Finally, the moment came. He stepped out on stage, and the crowd went wild.

He was totally in his element, the bright lights dancing across his face, his body moving so effortlessly.

And as the first few songs played, I could hardly focus.

My mind was everywhere, replaying the conversation we just had.

What if he doesn't want this? What if having a child with me changes everything?

When 'I Just Can't Stop Loving You' came on, he stole glances at me, and from time to time even turned away from Sheryl Crow to look me in the eyes.

It gave me a bit of hope, and most of the show I just focused on him.

Then came the intro for 'Billie Jean', the familiar baseline pulsed through my very core.

The music hit me, but it felt different this time.

Michael stepped into the spotlight, his presence commanding the attention of every soul out there.

His voice rang out, smooth and soulful, yet there was an edge to it.

It was full of emotion I had never heard from him before when he performed.

"She was more like a beauty queen from a movie scene
I said don't mind, but what do you mean, I am the one?
Who will dance on the floor in the round...?"

The way he sang those lines sent shivers down my spine.

I could hear the pain and uncertainty in his tone, a reminder of the responsibility that now hung over us.

He's been telling me about wanting to be a father, but would he want that with me?

Would he see this baby as a blessing, or would it change the way he sees our future, if there even is one anymore?

His movements became more intense, his body dancing with an energy that captivated everyone in the arena.

My stomach turned, my anxiety intensifying with every beat.

What if this ruined everything?

I took a deep breath, trying to calm myself, but my hands were sweaty, and my heart was racing.

I forced myself to focus on the moment, to appreciate the magic of the concert, of him.

Yet, it felt overshadowed by everything.

As he reached the second bridge, his voice cracked slightly.

It brought tears to my eyes, and I could only imagine what he was thinking in that moment.

"People always told me be careful what you do, don't go around breaking young girls' hearts
But she came and stood right by me, just the smell of sweet perfume
It happened much too soon, she called me to her room..."

Oh, gosh. Am I his Billie Jean?

The song ended, and the crowd erupted into applause.

I knew we had to talk again.

But for now, I just watched him shine, praying that everything would turn out okay.

~

The closing notes for 'Man in the Mirror' played.

Michael hugged his dancers, before they presented him with flowers.

A bashful smile played on his lips, and he thanked everyone.

The music picked up once again, and he poured his heart out into those last few lines.

"Thank you, I love you." he said into the microphone, out of breath.

I watched as he disappeared backstage, on the opposite side of where we sat. His singers kept going, only for the song to fade out.

The crowd went wild, chanting his name, louder this time.

"That- that was so fucking amazing!" Luciano exclaimed.

"Luciano, language." dad warned.

My brother was right, it truly was incredible.

The energy still buzzed, even as everyone in the arena started clearing out.

Me, on the other hand, felt like I just wanted to disappear, somewhere I can be alone with him, even if it was just for a moment.

All at once, the conversation around us got louder, followed by cheering.

Michael emerged, still in his white button up from performing, with Frank and Bill by his side.

He silently thanked those surrounding him.

There was a hint on determination in his eyes as he searched for something, or someone.

They then landed on me, before making his way to where I was.

When he reached me, he offered his hand, then spoke lowly. "I gotta catch a flight to New York, something last minute. Come with me?"

Those beautiful eyes stared into mine; I saw how they glistened, almost pleading for me to agree.

"Y- yeah." I mumbled, taking his hand.

I glanced at my family and friends, not caring about how confused they all looked.

"Angela, where are you going?" Rosa asked.

"I'll call soon, I promise!" I called, as Michael gently tugged on my hand that he held, pulling me towards his manager and bodyguard.

I was definitely not ready for what happened next.

We stepped outside, only to be met by a sea of people and cameras, loud clicks filling my ears.

Michael wrapped his arm around my shoulders protectively, just when the flashes started.

His hands shielded my face while he took me to the car.

My face instantly buried in his chest, my fingers clutched the back of his white shirt, but the screams around us only intensified.

I let out a shaky breath, making him tighten his grip on me.

I knew at that moment, I wouldn't be able to hide from the public eye anymore.

This, him, his world, was slowly becoming mine, too.

~

The ride to the airport was quiet. Michael didn't say much in the car.

He stared out the window, his leg bouncing nervously, fingers tapping on the seat.

I tried to read his face, desperate to know what he was thinking.

But he never once turned to even look at me.

When we arrived at the airport, his private jet waited for us.

We moved fast, and when we boarded, I heard the engine come to life.

I settled into one of the chairs by a window, expecting Michael to sit across from me, but he didn't.

Instead, he took the seat next to me. His legs still bounced, eyes distant.

"Michael..." I started, my voice shaky. "About earlier-"

He cut me off, voice quiet. "Angie, not now, okay? I... I need to process this."

I felt a bit hurt, but nodded.

Maybe he just needs time. Maybe once we're away from everything, and it's just us, he'll talk to me.

I brought my knees to my chest. No matter how much I convinced myself that everything was okay, I couldn't.

The tears emerged as I looked out the window, and when we finally took off, they ran free.

Michael didn't reach out, only sat there, his gaze still far away.

~

28th of January, 1989
Michael is 30, Angela is 24

Michael: The plane landed with a gentle jolt, but my heart never stopped racing since we took off.

As we taxied down the runway, I glanced at Angela, who was seated beside me.

She didn't say much since we left LA, her eyes glossy all throughout the flight.

It tore me to pieces, not being able to comfort her, knowing I was the reason for her tears.

I was so in shock still, and I was sure she was, too.

I could see it in her distant eyes as she stared out the window. I knew what she was thinking about.

Hell, it was all I could think about, too.

Pregnant.

The word echoed in my mind.

I tried to say something when she told me, before they pulled me onstage, but the words just didn't come out.

I looked out the window myself, at the sights of New York City, trying to calm my nerves.

This was supposed to be my place, the one city where I could disappear and just... Create.

But now, everything felt different.

The plane came to a halt, the seatbelt sign dinged off, and I felt Angela shift beside me.

She sat up straighter, her fingers fidgeting with the hem of her jacket.

My throat felt tight as I glanced at her, wanting to say something, anything, to make her feel better. To make myself feel better.

And yet the words were lost to me.

The car was waiting for us as we stepped off the plane, and Bill offered Angela his large coat when she shivered from the cold.

He led the way as we were whisked through the private terminal and into the black SUV that would take us to my penthouse.

It really was cold, the New York wind biting at us as we climbed into the back seat.

Angela slid in beside me, her knee brushing mine.

I glanced into her eyes quickly, but she averted them, looking down.

The driver pulled away, and the city came into view.

It was my turn to stare out the window, lost in thought.

Every part of me wanted to reach out, to say something that would make her feel safe, but the truth was, I didn't even know what I felt.

The car finally stopped in front of the tall apartment building, and the driver smoothly drove into the garage.

Bill got out first, scanning the area before motioning for us to follow.

I took Angela's hand, helping her out of the car, but her grip was loose.

We made our way up the private elevator to the top floor.

The ding of the elevator door echoed in the quiet as Frank found the keys.

Angela was silent beside me as we stepped inside my penthouse.

She gave Bill his coat back, a tight smile making its way to her lips.

"I'll call tomorrow." Frank informed, placing the keys on the kitchen counter. I thanked him and he and Bill hurried to leave.

The door clicked shut. As it did, my hands shook.

I wasn't used to feeling like this; so out of control.

Because this was out of my control, the entire situation. I breathed in and out, my heartbeat calming down a bit.

With my back to Angela, I tried to compose myself. I could feel her standing there, waiting for me to say something.

I turned around slowly, hands gripping the edge of the counter.

The words I wanted to say were there, on the tip of my tongue.

I watched her for a long moment, taking in the way carried herself.

Her shoulders were slightly slumped, and the usual confidence she had in her stand was gone.

The worst part of it was, she wouldn't even look at me.

"Angela..." I breathed.

She finally gazed up at me, her blue eyes wide and filled with clear doubt.

"What are we going to do?" she asked.

I opened my mouth, but again, nothing came out. I didn't have an answer. I wasn't ready for this, none of it.

I didn't plan to be a father so soon in my career, and I wasn't ready to share her with the world quite yet.

She was my little secret, and I wanted to keep it that way, although that train was probably long gone after last night.

"I don't know." I admitted, my voice breaking.

Her face fell, and I could see the disappointment in her eyes.

I hated myself for not having all the answers, when she needed them the most.

She turned away from me, walking toward the large windows that overlooked the city.

Manhattan was starting to wake up below us.

I couldn't stand the silence. I couldn't stand the distance between us, although I knew it was probably my fault.

"I just... I wasn't expecting this," I said, almost begging. "I mean, I always thought about having kids one day, but... Not now. Not like this."

She didn't turn around, my thoughts running as she stayed silent.

Go to her. She needs you. You can't lose her.

I pushed off the counter, walking toward her slowly, not knowing what would happen if I took the next step.

I reached out to touch her shoulders and rubbed them gently.

"I love you." I whispered.

She tensed under my touch, and I immediately pulled back.

Did I lose her, by not making my move faster? By not saying anything sooner?

Finally, she turned to face me, her eyes filled with unshed tears.

"I love you too, Michael, but this is real. This isn't some... Dream. This is our reality now. We're going to have a baby. I'm scared, and I wish we would have been more careful, but we can't change that. I just need to know you're here."

I could feel her words crashing down on me, somewhat suffocating.

I wanted to tell her I was there for her, that I'd be there every step of the way, but I couldn't lie. I wasn't sure if I was ready.

"I..." I started, and Angela's eyes narrowed, before she shook her head.

She stepped away from me, her back hitting the counter.

"I can't do this alone," she murmured, her breathing fast. "I can't..."

"You won't be alone," I said quickly, knowing she needed to hear it. "I just need time, Angie. Please, give me some time to figure this out."

Her expression softened, but I could still see the doubt in her eyes.

"How much time, Michael? Because we won't have too much time." she placed her hands on her stomach, her eyes dropping as if to remind me of what was growing inside her.

My chest tightened as I looked down at her hands.

The reality of it all finally hit me - the beautiful times we've had, however short, and the future that was coming whether I was ready for it or not.

I reached out again, placing my hand over hers.

I could feel a slight bump where her usual flat stomach was.

It surprised me, and I let out an accidental gasp.

Angela glanced up again, the tears now staining her cheeks.

"I'll figure it out." I promised, though I wasn't sure who I was trying to convince more, her or myself.

She closed her eyes, exhaling a shaky breath.

When she opened them again, the hurt and fear were still there, but she gave me a small nod.

I pulled her into my arms, holding her tight, but in the back of my mind, I couldn't help but wonder how we ended up here.