{shawn pov}



the next day



I finally wrack up the nerve, and decide that I'm going to talk to her, and I know how I'm going to bring it up. It's time to fly home today anyways, so I'll just wait until we're home, that way it may make it easier, and we're both in our own environments. This way I have more time to rehearse what I'm  actually going to say to her.

I'm going to miss this. I mean, I know there will be more tours for me in the future, but not like this one. This one was special. Because I met her. And for that reason, nothing will ever be the same for me.

Once we get off the plane, I look for my family. I see them, and I immediately rush over and greet them.

Emma goes to see her family as well, they're right beside mine.

I can't help but wonder if they know. I told my parents, so that they would be expecting our distance and not make things awkward. But did she tell hers?

{emma pov}



Once I get home, I am relieved. It's good to finally be home after this long tour. But I'm also extremely sad. One more show and it's over. I tell my family that I'm extremely exhausted, and they understand, and let me go up to my room to rest for awhile.

"Hey," Dani looks over to where I'm laying on my bed, staring at the floor. "How are you? Did he ever come talk to you?"

I shake my head. "No," a single tear falls down my cheek.

"I'm sorry, I really thought he would," she frowns.

"I think I'm actually going to go for a drive, just to clear my head a little."

"Okay," she smiles, "Do you want me to come with you?"

"No, thanks. I think I just need to be alone for a bit."

"Okay, please be safe," she smiles as I get up and put on my leather jacket and grab my purse. When I get downstairs, and I put on my shoes.

I tell my parents I'm leaving, then grab my keys and head out to the car. It feels so nice to be behind the wheel again, but I haven't driven since the last time I was home, so it feels kind of weird.

I put my key in the ignition, and start driving down the street. I don't know where I'm going to go, I just drive wherever the road takes me.

I eventually make it to this side street, which is good because there's not as many people around. I'm a good driver, but not everyone is.

This street is also near a Tim Hortons, so I'll go there and get myself a coffee.

I can't believe this. He was supposed to believe me. Cam was supposed to tell him the frikking truth, not some stupid lie that'll make Shawn hate me forever. Shawn and I were supposed to be together.

Shawn doesn't deserve me. He never did. He's way too good to me, and I have way too many life problems that I've caught him up in too and I feel terrible about it.
 
 
 
I arrive at Tim Hortons, the one that is about 10 minutes away from my house. There is one closer but by the time I decided I would stop, this one was closer.
 
 
 
"Hi there, welcome to Tim Hortons. What can I get for you today?" The lady at the drive through asks.
 
 
 
"Hi, I'll have a medium french vanilla please,"
 
 
 
"Okay, is that everything?"
 
 
 
"Yes, thank you,"
 
 
 
"Okay, that'll be $2.11 at the first window,"
 
 
 
I pull up to the first window and give the lady a toonie and a dime.
 
 
 
Then I drive to the second window, and the man hands me my drink. "Enjoy!" He says with a smile.
 
 
 
I put it in the cup holder and pull up to the end of the driveway, about to make a left turn onto the busy Adelaide Street.

I look both ways before I turn, but I still don't see the car. It came out of nowhere, it turns so fast, right into the side of mine.

I scream, almost immediately feeling pain in my leg. The amount of blood coming out of the gash in my left leg is enough to fill an entire bathtub. Or at least, that's what it looks like. I could be hallucinating. My leg is trapped underneath the smashed in door. I start crying.

After a few minutes I start to drift off, but that's when I hear the sirens. People are rushing around, yelling, but I don't know what they're saying. I'm going further and further away from consciousness, and they cut open the side of the completely smashed car, take me out carefully, and set my limp body on a stretcher. The last thing I see is the roof of an ambulance before I drift away completely.

{shawn pov}
 
 
 
a few hours later



"You're so weird," Aaliyah laughs loudly. I just stuffed 14 giant marshmallows in my mouth.

It feels nice to be home again, making her laugh. I enjoy doing that in my free time, doing dumb pointless things just to make her laugh or get her out of a bad mood. This is what our relationship is like.

My phone rings in my pocket, causing me to roll my eyes, which makes Aaliyah laugh again. I spit all the marshmallows onto the plate in front of me, having no other choice.

"Ew!" she giggles, scrunching up her face. I laugh too.

The number that's calling is one I don't recognize, but I answer it anyways. "Hello?" I say, still chuckling.

"Hey, Shawn. This is Danielle Hall." She sounds upset.

"Hi Danielle, what's up?" I say, raising an eyebrow. She's never called me.

"Listen, I know what happened between you and Emma, and I know that the two of you aren't exactly on great terms right now, but I just thought you'd want to know that... there's been an accident." the expression on my face changes from goofy to completely serious. I can see Aaliyah's worried look out of the corner of my eye as this happens. "She's unconscious, has been since they got her into the ambulance."

"Oh my god," I whisper, putting my hand up to my mouth. "Is she going to be okay?"

"We haven't heard anything yet, but I'll tell you as soon as we find out," I can tell she's crying.

"Okay, I'm on my way. I'll be there in a few."

"What happened?" Aaliyah asks as I hang up.

"Emma's been in an accident. I need to go to the hospital."

"What? That's terrible! I want to come,"

"No, Aaliyah. I need to go alone this time. I'll be home soon."

"Okay, fine," she sighs.

I tell both of my parents where I'm going, then run to my car and hop in. I drive really fast, because I need to get there as soon as possible.

 
This is my fault. I should've just told her before. Now she was probably getting distracted with her thoughts and this happened.

I get to the hospital, and find a nurse.

"Hi, I'm looking to see Emma Hall?" I ask her.

"Oh yes, of course! I was actually just about to go see how she's doing now, so you can follow me, the rest of her family is in the waiting room, I think, and you can wait with them if you'd like." she says, sounding very kind.

"Okay thank you so much." I smile and follow her.

A few minutes later, we arrive in a hallway full of patient's rooms, and there is a waiting room at the end. I see Emma's family sitting in there. Danielle looks up from her phone and sees me, running over.

"How is she? Have you heard anything?" I ask, needing some answers. "How are you?" I lean down, pulling her in for a hug.

"I'm doing alright, my parents, not so much." she says and I follow her over to the waiting room.

"Thank you," I thank the nurse for directing me. "Will you tell us once you know anything?"

"I will let you know," she sends me a wink and a smile.

"Thank you so much," I smile back. She nods.

"Hi Shawn, how are you?" Emma's mom greets me. I can tell she's been crying too, her eyes are red and she has a tissue in her hand, which she puts in her purse before she stands up and gives me a hug.

"Hey, Shawn." her dad stands up and shakes my hand.

"I'm good, thanks. How are you holding up?"

"I'm alright, it's just hard that they won't tell us anything." she explains.

"Yeah, that's really hard. I'm sure they'll be here soon, though." I reassure her.

"Someone's optimistic," Danielle tries to lighten up the mood. I stifle a grin.

"What does optimistic mean?" Ryan asks, sitting on the chair beside Danielle. He barely looks up from the game on his iPod.

We all smile at him, but no one is in the mood to laugh, even if it is funny.

"Mr. and Mrs. Hall?" A blonde-haired nurse with a clipboard asks a few minutes later, and they both perk up, looking at her. It's not the same nurse that lead me here.

"That's us," she smiles hopefully.

"Okay, great. So, we just want to tell you that Emma is still unconscious, but she is very much alive. She has a few minor bruises, a broken leg, and a very minor concussion, but everything will be pretty easy to heal." she explains. Thank God she's alive. "We are going to let you see her now, as long as you stay quiet,"

 
"Thank you so much," Mr. Hall says to her.

We all follow her to Emma's room. She lets everyone in, but when I get to the door, she stops me. "Sorry, family only, bud,"

"But I'm her boyfriend," Well, technically, I broke up with her. But still.

"Okay, but I said, family only."

"This is bullshit. I need to see her, you don't understand," I feel a tear sting my eye, but I blink it away. Stay strong, Shawn. You need to stay strong for her.

"Sorry Shawn," Danielle pouts, biting her lip, "We'll get you in here soon, I promise," she sends me a reassuring glance.

Not wanting to cause a big scene, I walk back down the hall and into the waiting room. How can they do this? I get it, they don't want too many people in there. But they don't understand what this is doing to me. I feel like I'm about to go mentally insane.

 
I knew it. I knew I should've just talked to her before we got home. But again, I put it off. Just like every other stupid conversation I've ever needed to have with her. I told myself that it'd be okay if I left it for a bit. But, just like when Lauren kissed me, I put it off and it wasn't. It wasn't okay because now she got hurt because of it.
 
 
 
I've always put things off. My entire life, whenever I've needed to do something important, I put it off. It's because I'm nervous. Especially this time because she broke my heart.
 
 
 
I go to the small flower shop that is located inside the hospital. I pick out some bright red roses, and purchase them. They've always reminded me of her. Something about their beauty.

An hour passes, and Danielle comes back out. I force a smile, to give her the message that I'm not too upset. That I'm staying strong.

"Shawn, you can go in now," Danielle smiles, "The nurse came by and said that any other visitors can visit,"

"Really?" My eyes perk up. She nods with a smile. I smile giddily and she laughs at me. I quickly rush to the room.

"Woah, slow down there, Sherlock." Danielle laughs as I start running.

I bite my lip as I walk in, and as I peek around the corner, I see her lying on the bed. She looks so helpless. When I get there, her mom gets up from where she was sitting on the chair beside Emma's bed, and motions for me to sit there.

There is a tube attached to some device that has been put into a spot on her left arm. She is only wearing one of those hospital gowns and no makeup, but still, she could not look any more beautiful.

I pick up her limp arm and intertwine her fingers with mine. "Hey, baby," I whisper so only she could hear, even though I know she really can't hear me. I tuck a loose strand of hair behind her ear.

I sit there for awhile, then Mrs. Hall pipes in. "Shawn, we're going to go get something to eat, we'll give you some alone time with her," she smiles.

"Okay, thank you," I smile weakly.

"Would you like anything?" Danielle asks.

"No thanks, I'll get something a bit later,"

"Okay, have fun!" she says and they all walk out.

"No offence, but I was kind of hoping they'd leave," I laugh once the door closes behind them. "I got these for you," I say, holding out the roses to show her closed eyelids then I put them on the table beside the bed, behind the chair I'm currently sitting in.

"I'm so sorry, I practically did this to you myself." I shake my head. "I've been meaning to tell you this, But I guess I've just been putting it off. And I've been putting it off because- because I'm nervous to tell you.

"I'm sorry, Emma. I should've believed you in the first place. But, more importantly, I've realized something else." I pause for a minute, putting my head in my free hand, running my fingers through my hair, the one that's not interlaced with hers. "I do still love you, Emma. And that's exactly why it's been so hard. Because I didn't want it to be true." Everything starts coming back to me, moments of us together, when we went to Disney and Universal, watching her perform, singing to her, everything replays through my mind. "I should've told you before, I should've just told you, I'm so stupid, this wouldn't have happened. We wouldn't be here right now, you wouldn't be hurt like this. I wouldn't feel so-"

"Shawn?"

a/n
 
ooh suspense ik i'm sorry ☹️

ok let's be honest no i'm not sorry, i love leaving you guys in suspense hehe 😂💖
 
this was a bit of a long(er) chapter! i think i'm going to start making my chapters longer cause they're usually fairly short 😅
 
comment what you think!
 
~em 💗