{shawn pov}



Those words hurt. But I know this is all my fault, I really should've told her right after it happened. And now I've ruined it. This has left me feeling even more terrible than I felt about it before. And I didn't know that it was possible to feel this bad about something.

I stand there for a minute, trying to take it all in, then I go back into the restaurant and grab my jacket. Then I get into my car and drive away.

I get home and that's when I start to break down. I broke her heart. I was supposed to be the one to piece her back together again, but I just made her fall apart all over again.

I hear a knock on my door. "Not now please," I yell.

They come in anyways. Then I realized it was Aaliyah.

 
"What do you want?" I cry.

"I just wanted to see if you're okay," she smiles softly.

"No, I'm not, I messed up. Bad." I frown, putting my face in my hands.

"What'd you do?"

I tell her the whole story, going over every detail. If there's one person in my life who's really good at giving advice, it's my sister. She's only 12, and hasn't gone through much at all, but somehow she always knows what to do.

"Have you tried calling her?" She asks.

"No, I figure I'll let her have some time first."

"Okay, good start. Don't leave it too long though. Call her tomorrow and maybe invite her over? It's always better to talk in person about these things than over text or on the phone," she suggests.

"Okay," I smile weakly, "Thanks Aaliyah."

"Anytime," she smiles back, "Oh, and don't forget, when you talk to her, start with 'I'm sorry for being such an ass', or something like that. Then she'll know that you know you messed up." She winks.

"I guess admitting it is always the first step," I laugh, and she laughs as well. "Thanks again, I really do appreciate it." I smile.

✦

Even the next day, she won't answer my calls or texts. I've tried calling about 50 times, no answer. I even left multiple voicemails, and sent a ton of texts, too. Hopefully she comes to her senses soon.

{emma pov}

I haven't been answering Shawn's calls or texts. I realize now, though, that I need to let him explain himself, because still a small part of me knows he wouldn't do something like that to me without a good reason.

I'm a complete mess. Everybody in my house, Rachel, and my other friends all know because of how much I've been crying. I guess I just don't want it to be true. And I've been wearing his sweater and the bracelet he gave me. My days consist of sitting in my room, watching sad movies and reading sad books. This feels a lot like after Dylan, just less severe.

I think he finally gave up for awhile, realizing that I won't answer. But, soon after, he calls again, and starts to leave a voicemail. I listen to it this time, and he sounds so pained. There's this different, upset tone to his voice that I've never heard before. The next time he calls, I decide to give him a chance, and I pick up.

{shawn pov}

The next time I call, it doesn't go to voicemail. I wonder if something's wrong but then I hear her voice.

"I'm listening," She says.

"Oh, thank god," I say, smiling. "Do you want to come over? I think it's better if we talk in person,"

"Um, okay," she says awkwardly.

"Okay, see you soon."

She hangs up. Not long later, she arrives and I can tell she's been crying. A lot. There's this very saddened look upon her face that breaks my heart. It breaks my heart because I know I'm the one that caused it.

"Hey," I smile softly.

"Hey," She smiles back.

We go downstairs, and there is an awkward silence between us. I decide to start off by saying a simple apology. "Look, I'm so so sorry. I was a complete ass for not telling you in the first place, right after it happened. This is all my fault and I feel terrible for being such a terrible boyfriend,"

"I just can't believe you would kiss her! Shawn, we've been dating for a few months now, I guess I just thought you were different. You-"

"Emma," I try to stop her from rambling.

"You broke my heart. And to hear it from a text addressed to you, when her contact name has a kissy face emoji beside it? To hear that you" she pauses, cracking. "kissed her and didn't tell me? It was-"

"Emma," I say a bit louder.

"And the fact that she said she still loves you?" she cries, "The fact that you're so ashamed of me to not tell her that I'm your girlfriend and then kiss her? It hurts, Shawn, it really doe-"

"Emma!"

"What, yeah?" She says, flustered. She looks me straight in the eyes and I hold her hands.

"I never kissed back." I tell her.

Her eyes soften, and she takes a deep breath, calming down a bit.

"She came onto me, I never even kissed her. Listen, Lauren is my ex, and we broke up not long before the tour because we felt we were growing apart. On the day of grad, she came up to me saying how much she missed me and how she wants to get back together, and then she," I look at the ground. "kissed me and walked away. She didn't even let me talk when I tried to tell her about you. But Emma, I have no feelings left for Lauren, I promise. You don't have to worry about anything like that."

"I just, I don't know if I can believe you. I'm sure you're telling the truth, and it's not that I don't trust you, because I do, I mean, I want to, but it's just that my trust has been broken, badly, in the past like this and I don't know if I'll ever be able to trust people the same way again, I'm so sorry," She explains, crying.

"I'll do anything, anything, to earn your trust back," I plead. "I know you've been hurt before but I can help you to mend those scars and help you to learn to trust again."

"I still don't know. Maybe give me Lauren's number? And maybe I can call her to clear things up?" she suggests. I still haven't had a conversation with Lauren about this, maybe this is good. "Sorry Shawn, but I think that now, I just need some time," She smiles weakly, resting a hand on my cheek.

I put Laur's number into her phone, and she thanks me. Then she stands up, kisses me on the cheek, and just like that she's gone.

Now, there's really nothing I can do but hope that Laur tells her the truth. She will, she's one of the sweetest people I know, and knowing her she'll feel terrible about this misunderstanding. I'm sure of it.

{emma pov}
 
 
 
I have trust issues. I want to believe Shawn, but the truth is I'm scared. Scared that if I put all of my trust into someone that I'll get hurt again and again.

I've been talking to Rachel a lot over the past few days since I talked to Shawn. She thinks that I should just trust that he's telling the truth, and that he doesn't seem like the type of guy to lie about something as big as this. But I need to know for sure.

"Hello?" The voice on the other end of the line says.

"Hi Lauren," I say.

"Who are you? Do I know you?"

"I'm Shawn's girlfriend, Emma."

"Oh. My. God." She gasps. I can tell she feels really guilty.

"So, Shawn told me what happened." I explain, "And he told me that you wouldn't let him speak and you kissed him. Is that true?"

"Yes, and I'm so sorry, I don't know what I was thinking, I'm such a bitch, oh my God." She curses.

"Did he kiss back? That's all I want to know." I bite my lip.

"No, I swear it was all me. He might've a little, but if he did it would've just been out of shock or instinct. You have no reason to blame him for what happened, it was my fault," she says.

"Okay thank you, Lauren," I smile.

"No problem, I'm sorry for what I caused, I should've let Shawn talk when it happened."

"Apology accepted, you didn't know and I respect that."

"Thank you," She says. "Well, I better get going, but Shawn's an amazing guy. He would never try to hurt you like that, not on purpose. If he did, he would have one damn good reason for it." She laughs.

I laugh. "Well thank you, I'll let you go, it was nice talking to you."

"Same to you! I'll see you around sometime?"

"Yeah sure!" I smile.

"Okay, bye Emma."

"Bye," I reply, hanging up.

First Camila was telling me that Shawn's a great guy, and now Lauren, and they both know him really well. But I still don't want to have my heart break all over again like it did with Dylan.

And I know that Shawn isn't guilty this time, Lauren admitted that it was all her. But the fact still remains that he was going to wait to tell me, instead of telling me as soon as possible. I know that I can trust Shawn, I guess it's just that I'm hesitant, I'm not letting myself.

"I need to get help," I say to myself. Maybe Shawn will be able to help me like he said, or I could get someone else to help, but all I know is that I need it.

a/n
 
hope you liked this chapter! hope this cleared the drama up a bit haha sorry for the cliffhanger last chapter 😂
 
remember to vote, comment and share! 😛
 
instagram: @crazymendess
twitter: @midniqhtmendes
 
 
~em 💗