Author's note: Hey guys!  I have a weird question for y'all: how do we feel about smut? I know people will have mixed opinions, and I'm not gonna be writing anything massively explicit  but I've reached a point in the story where I feel like I can't really ignore it for much longer ahh. Just wondered what your opinions were about it, obviously we're all imagining Y/N differently but for me she's like 18/19 but if there are any underage readers that kinda makes me want to boycott any smut XD I posted this on AO3 and the general reply was yes to smut, but wanted to ask you guys tooo. Let me know, I hope you enjoy this chapter! <3

...

Loki didn't go back to sleep. He was too busy thinking.

You knew.

You had known from the very start what he was, and yet... it didn't seem to bother you.

Perhaps it was sympathy. Or maybe you didn't understand what it actually meant to be a Frost Giant. You didn't know that this wasn't what he really looked like... or did you? How much had Thor told you? Did you know that he wasn't even a proper Frost Giant, cast out because he couldn't even be good at the one thing he actually was? He didn't know whether to be furious or grateful that his brother had told you so much; if he hadn't told you about it at the very start would things be different now?

It was getting light outside now; the clock on the wall read five past seven. You were still asleep in the chair, breathing evenly curled underneath the blanket you'd stolen from the other bed. Loki had been awake for just over five hours. He'd slept more in the past day than he had in the past year, not needing to sleep apart from to recharge his magic or when he was healing. In last night's case he'd needed both, which is why he'd slept for so long. He was still healing, but he didn't need any more sleep, just rest. He'd thought about using his magic to speed up the healing process, but knew that that wouldn't be a good idea so soon after being badly injured. So he sat. And waited.

He'd had had a lot of time to think in the last five hours, listening to the sounds of the city. 'The city that never sleeps', that's what you'd told him Midgardians called New York. He'd had enough sleepless nights since getting here to know that that was an apt title, there was never a moment of complete silence, even in the dead of night. This contrasted drastically to the cell he'd come from on Asgard, where there was rarely a moment which wasn't silent. He'd decided that he preferred the noise to silence.

Truthfully, these thoughts had only been present to stop him from thinking about what he should be thinking about. Why hadn't he told you how he felt. Just yesterday he would've given his right arm to have you know about his feelings for you, but then the moment actually presented itself and what had he said? Nothing. He'd just sat there, internally yelling at himself: tell her! Just tell her! Ultimately, the fear of rejection outweighed his need to tell you how he felt. He was a coward.

You shifted slightly in the chair, frowning in your sleep and exhaling as you settled into what must have been a more comfortable position. You'd been doing that a lot through the night; that chair wasn't a comfy place to sleep. Loki tried not to stare. He'd been trying not to all night, realising that it was odd to be watching you sleep... but he'd failed more than once, resigning himself to just watching you as you dreamed. Once you had even muttered something indistinguishable and smiled faintly, leaving Loki to guess what you'd said which had been so funny.

He was watching now as you moved in your sleep, wondering how long it would be until you woke up. You hadn't tried to talk about how he'd been shot earlier, which meant that you must have thought it had been an accident. As if he would ever let that happen by accident.

It was a while before Loki noticed that he was being watched, and when caught sight of Thor out the corner of his eye he almost startled. But not quite. The illusion was back up in an instant, without him even having to think about it. Scars covered. Vulnerabilities hidden. Just like always.

"You're awake." Thor said, moving from where he'd been leaning against the doorway to sit on the other side of the bed. Loki sat up, forgetting for a second why he'd been lying down in the first place, and couldn't help the hiss of pain which escaped him as pain shot up his side. Thor said nothing, which Loki was grateful for. He was fine.

"Yes. I'm fine." he said, trying to lean back discreetly to dull the pain.

"You didn't look that fine yesterday morning."

"I've been told." Loki replied, turning to look at you, again. It was like a reflex.

Thor looked at you too, and smiled.

"Did she tell you?"

Loki was instantly nervous.

"Tell me what?"

"Obviously not then." Thor chuckled.

"Tell me what?" Loki repeated, slightly more urgently than he had anticipated.

"She knew you were hurt before any of us realised that you were in trouble, at the party."

Loki frowned, confused. Thor waited, and sighed when he didn't cotton on.

"She said she felt it in her chest when the gun went off, and that she knew you weren't okay without seeing you..." he trailed off as Loki understood what he was trying to say.

"Not this again."

"Yes this again! How else do you explain it...?"

"I don't know Thor, but it's not soulmates – hang on, you didn't tell her about this did you?"

Thor's silence told him all he needed to know. Loki sighed, closing his eyes letting his head drop back in despair. Why?

"She had the same reaction as you."

How to feel? Relieved? Annoyed? But there was no time for that, because suddenly you were waking up.

Your eyes opened slowly, and then you caught sight of Thor and Loki watching you.

You still managed to look beautiful, even when you had just woken up from sleeping in a chair for five hours. Don't stare.

Your POV

When you woke up, it was to see Thor and Loki both sat watching you. Your hand jumped to your hair self-consciously, you probably looked a mess.

"Morning sleepy head." Thor greeted you, and you yawned in response.

"You okay? Is it healed?" you asked, turning your attention to Loki while rubbing your eyes to try and get them to open properly.

"Yes. It's fine." he replied.

You tilted your head and raised an eyebrow in disbelief.

"...almost." Loki conceded, moving a hand to where he'd been hit. It was then that you noticed that his scars were gone.

"I have news." Thor said, before you could say anything. You both turned to face him.

"First, Nick Fury was pleased that you risked your life for the mission, but he still wants that on you at all times." he informed Loki, nodding towards the cuff which was meant to prevent him from using magic, but now didn't, around his wrist.

"Right. Any interesting news?" Loki asked.

"Second, Mother has requested that we visit home." Thor continued.

"Oh." Loki said.

"With Lady Y/N." he added.

Your mouth fell open as both Thor and Loki looked at you.

"She... asked for me? Specifically?" you asked in astonishment.

"Yes."

"But... are you sure? How does she even know who I am? She's mixed me up with someone else." you insisted, heart pounding.

Thor shook his head, smiling. Loki was watching you in something like concern.

You stared at Thor with your mouth slightly open for a good ten seconds, waiting for him to laugh and tell you it was a joke. When he didn't, you let out a sudden delighted laugh, covering your mouth with your hand. You were going to Asgard.

"Do you think... will I be able to find out about my parents?" you thought aloud.

"I don't see why not..."

"When are we leaving?" you asked, your brain moving at a hundred miles an hour.

"Tomorrow morning. Is that okay? You're up for it?"

"Yes! Of course." you said happily.

Loki still hadn't spoken.

Can you go? I need to talk with Thor.

Charming. You'd slept in a chair all night to keep him company and this was the thanks you received.

"I should go shower. And get dressed." you said, standing up and stretching.

Sorry.

"We can talk more about this later." Thor told you as you returned the blanket you'd used to its rightful place on the bed.

"Yeah sure, see you later." you smiled, tugging the sleeves of your hoodie down over your hands as you left the room. Your neck was killing from sleeping in that chair.

Loki's POV

Loki tried so hard not to watch you leave the room.

"You asked her to leave. Why?" Thor asked. He was getting good at noticing when you and he talked through your minds. It was disconcerting.

"Are you sure this is a good idea? Why has mother asked her to come with us? I have a bad feeling about this." Loki said, the minute he was sure that you were out of earshot.

"You have a bad feeling..." Thor said, with a pointed look.

"Soulmates. Do not. Exist." Loki said through gritted teeth. This was getting tedious.

"I don't know why mother wants Y/N to visit Asgard with us. Maybe she's getting fed up waiting for you to make a move, like the rest of us." Thor suggested, his eyes sparkling.

Loki glared.

"Okay, okay, sorry." Thor said, backing down, visibly trying not to smile.

"Will Fury even let me leave here? I doubt he'll be very happy about letting me off of Midgard."

"I'll have to talk to Stark about that. I'm sure it'll be fine." Thor replied.

"What if her parents are dead. Or, I don't know, abandoned her for some reason." Loki said, looking at Thor in concern.

"I'm sure it's nothing that bad. And if it is, at least she'll know. Anything is better than not knowing." Thor replied.

"Perhaps not." Loki countered.

"Why are you so set on making yourself unhappy?" Thor asked, after a beat.

"What do you mean." Loki sighed.

"You're in love with her, aren't you." he said blatantly.

"Stop it. I'm not in love with anyone. Don't be ridiculous."

"You may be the god of lies brother, but you're not fooling anyone this time. Especially me."

Loki was on the verge of teleporting far, far away and never coming back.

"Admit it." Thor demanded.

"No."

"Why? I've seen the way you look at her. And the way she looks back at you."

Loki allowed the smallest spark of hope to ignite in his chest at those words, and it obviously showed in his eyes, because then Thor was leaning back in his chair and looking at him triumphantly. Shit.

"What are you waiting for?"

"I refuse to have this conversation with you."

"You have to-"

"I don't have to do anything." Loki injected vehemently. This wasn't happening.

Thor just sighed, finally seeming to realise that he wasn't going to help the situation.

"Whatever the reason for mother wanting Y/N to visit Asgard, it must be important."

"That's why I'm worried." Loki said.

"She's strong, she can handle whatever it is." Thor said confidently.

But Loki didn't want you to have to handle the truth if it was going to hurt you. Maybe Thor was right, maybe it would be fine, but why would you need to go to Asgard if it wasn't serious?

He didn't care what that Fury said, he was going to Asgard with you and Thor whether he was allowed to or not. It would be good to see his mother again. Odin... he would have to face him for you, and rely on the hope that he didn't condemn him back to that awful cell.

As for how he felt about you... he would just have to close his mind off again and wait for the right moment to say something.

But first he needed to work out what exactly it was he was going to say to you. Nothing about soulmates, that was for sure.

"Loki?" Thor was saying.

"What?"

"Are you okay?"

No. Nothing was okay. Everything was horrible.

"Yes."

"You've lost your touch. I can see right through you, god of lies." Thor smiled. Loki clenched his jaw so hard he thought it might actually get stuck there. Thor could be so aggravating.

"What exactly is it that you want from me?" Loki asked, his voice dangerously low.

"Just tell her. I promise you, it'll be worth it." Thor replied honestly.

Loki was hating every second of this. Mainly because he knew Thor was right: he had to say something to you. And the harsh truth was he had absolutely no idea how. There was a long pause while Loki wrestled with himself, head and heart yelling totally contradictory things at him. Eventually, for the first time in a long time, his heart won.

"How."

Your POV

You hadn't got any further than the other side of the doorway, just out of sight of Thor. That was where you'd been stood for the last few minutes, listening, with your heart in your mouth.

And that's where you'd heard Loki say it: 'How.' Only one word, but it changed everything.

Everything about your parents was forgotten as you tip-toed quietly away from the door, and then ran back the rest of the way to your room, just as you had last night. When you got there, you collapsed on your bed, and tried not to feel too... well, ecstatic.

You had to chill out, this didn't mean anything yet, you had to act as if everything was normal.

All you had to do was wait.