"Sh- SHUSH. Don't wake her up, she needs to rest."

"You don't need to worry about me waking her up, you've just done a magnificent job of it by shush-ing no less."

Dimwits.

You were smiling as you opened your eyes. On either side of you were Thor and Tony; Loki was sat on the bed next to you, for you were in the medical ward yet again.

"Hey kid." Tony scowled, obviously annoyed that Thor had proved him right.

"Hi." you replied in a whisper, suddenly overcome with emotion. You'd missed everyone. Sitting up in order to hug Thor and Tony only made your tears intensify (you weren't exactly feeling at the top of your game after the day's events and moving hurt), but it felt good to get it off your chest.

"How is everyone? What did we miss?" you asked when you were settled back against the pillows, wiping your face with the edge of the blanket. Tony started telling you about what had happened while you and Loki had been away (not a lot, as it transpired) and you sat and listened, content to just enjoy his company. Then you remembered that you should probably check up on Loki, despite the fact that you could feel and see that he was physically fine.

Are you okay?

Yes love.

Thank you for saving me from being crushed by a building I failed to hold up. Again.

The smallest hint of a smile.

It was no trouble.

As Tony talked Thor stood and left the room (not before reassuring you that he'd be back shortly), and about one and a half minutes later the rest of the team arrived in a chaotic mess of noise and, in Bucky's case, pizza.

The next half hour was a happy one; you were beyond relieved to be back at home. Loki was pleased to be back too, you could tell, although he would never have admitted this fact to anyone in a million years. The noise levels were starting to irritate him though.

"Guys, can you turn it down just a notch? My head..."

You were then showered in hushed apologies, and received an appreciative grin from Loki which no one else saw.

"We should probably leave you to get some more rest..."

"No!" you protested vehemently, sitting up to prove that you were fine, which you were in fact not. Everyone tried to make you sit back, but you were determined to get up. There was no way you were going to stay in the medical ward on your own when you were finally back home with everyone.

"Y/N, don't be thick, you're hurt." Clint was saying.

"Maybe so, but it's nothing life threatening. I can cope." you responded, reaching for Loki who had got to his feet and was now acting as your support beam, very aware of the fact that you were not to be persuaded back into the bed which you had just vacated.

"Meet you upstairs." you grinned through the pain, before preparing to teleport to the living room. Loki got there first, and in the blink of an eye you were upstairs.

"Awful idea." he told you, carefully lowering you on to the sofa.

"It's never stopped me before." You retorted, to which Loki responded with only an endearing eye roll. The rest of the team arrived about thirty seconds later and everyone got settled again; conversation returned to normal. Life was back to normal.

If only you'd known that the next two months would be the last months in a very, very long time that you would be able to call normal.

...

The next two months passed without incident (unless you counted Clint setting the toaster on fire and almost burning the whole kitchen down), and you settled easily back into the life which you called normal. Loki still went on missions for SHIELD, but he wasn't gone for half as long as he used to be, a fact which you were extremely grateful for.

Everything was fine until the morning Thor disappeared.

You didn't even notice until around mid-afternoon, but only because you'd been training with Nat all morning and it wasn't unusual for everyone not to be around on any given day. Upon entering the kitchen with Nat, it immediately struck you that something was wrong with Loki. He was above you somewhere, the roof?

What's wrong?

Thor is gone.

What? What does that mean?

"You okay Y/N?" Nat was peering at you; your confusion must have shown on your face.

"Loki is saying that Thor is gone." you replied, while simultaneously listening to Loki's reply.

He's not here, on Midgard I mean. I think he must be on Asgard.

Did he not say anything before he left?

No.

"Gone? What does he mean, gone?" Nat was asking, and now Steve had joined the conversation too. Bruce was listening in from a sofa across the room.

"What's going on? Thor's where?"

Loki chose this moment to teleport into the kitchen, making everyone apart from you startle. While Nat and Steve asked him questions you went about making yourself some lunch. You were worried about Thor, but you were also very hungry.

"I'm sure he'll be back this evening with a perfectly good explanation as to where he was." Steve said confidently. Loki looked unconvinced. He was worried, and that made you worried. But not worried enough not to eat your lunch.

Contrary to Steve's belief, Thor did not return that evening. Nor did he return the next evening. Or the next, or the next. Oddly, the longer Thor was missing for, the more relaxed Loki became.

"It means that it's more likely he's on Asgard, remember when we went for two days and a week passed on Midgard?"

You on the other hand, like the rest of the team, only became more and more concerned as the days went by.

Exactly eight days after Thor disappeared, you, Loki, Clint and Bucky were sat around the kitchen island discussing some meaningless subject, when Loki stiffened suddenly and sat bolt upright. A second later he vanished. Clint and Bucky both looked blankly at you for an explanation; you looked back just as blankly.

"I think Thor might be ba-" you were rendered unable to finish your sentence as something very large and very solid hit you square in the chest, knocking the breath out of you. Or that's what it felt like anyway.

"Y/N? Are you okay?" Clint and Bucky both looked extremely concerned.

You didn't reply, couldn't reply. Grabbing hold of the table for support you concentrated on the stability of it to help you teleport up to the roof after Loki.

What happened? What happened, are you okay?

Thor was stood a few metres away from Loki on the rooftop, looking distraught. The pain that he was feeling was clear to see in his face. The pain that Loki was feeling was even clearer, for it was as though the pain he felt was your own. It was your own. He didn't reply to your question, shock crashing over him and you both.

Something awful had happened.

Thor opened his mouth to say something to you, and then closed it again as his face crumpled, overcome by emotion. You took a step back as one word from his mind entered yours.

Frigga.

Frigga was dead.

You stood in a loose triangle, Loki staring at Thor, Thor with his eyes closed as if to hide from what was happening and you looking between the two of them. The sheer volume of emotion that Loki was feeling was beginning to scare you; you didn't know how he was going to react.

"How?" Loki finally spoke, his voice constricted.

"She was... protecting Jane." Thor said in what was barely more than a whisper.

"The Midgardian girl?" Loki asked incredulously.

"Let me explain... lots has happened since I left-"

"Clearly."

Anger laced his voice, now dangerously low.

"Let's go inside..." Thor suggested, but Loki wasn't having any of it.

"Explain."

His voice wobbled and almost broke, but he held it together, glaring at Thor. You remained rooted to the spot, completely out of your depth. You'd never suffered a bereavement before and had no idea how to deal with a person going through one, let alone two gods going through one.

Thor started talking, explaining how he'd gone to London to see Jane after Heimdall warned him that he was unable to see her and how she'd somehow managed to absorb something called the 'Aether'. He had taken Jane to Asgard with him where Odin had said that she would die, and then the Dark Elves had attacked Asgard in an attempt to find Jane, sensing that she contained the Aether. Frigga had died protecting Jane and the Dark Elves had been forced to flee without their prize.

Your head was spinning, but Loki seemed to be taking it in his stride. You were stupid not to instantly realise why Thor's explanation was seemingly calming him down. He now had someone to blame for Frigga's death. Someone to seek revenge upon.

"Father has ordered me not to do so, but I cannot let Jane die: I must travel to Svartelfheim to confront Malekith. It's the only way to save her... and I'll need your help." Thor explained desperately.

Loki couldn't care less about Jane, you knew, but he cared a lot about going after Malekith.

"Of course we'll come with you." you said determinedly. Both brothers turned to look at you.

"No. You're not coming." Loki told you. You looked at him in disbelief.

"What makes you think that?" you asked incredulously.

"It's too dangerous."

"Yes. It is, which is why you'll need all the help you can get!" you retorted.

"Heimdall, Sif and the Warriors Three have agreed to help." Thor told you gently.

"I will not sit here doing nothing while you're all off risking your lives in another realm." you asserted loudly, half aware that you should not be yelling two people who had just lost their mother.

"You're not coming." Loki repeated.

"I can help! I can-"

"If something were to happen to you I would never be able to forgive myself. You're safe here." Loki said, in a way which almost made you back down. Almost.

"What about when something awful happens to you? You think I'll be able to forgive myself for not coming with you?"

"I'll be fine."

He wasn't even looking at you.

You looked at Thor for back up, but he was on Loki's side.

"Fine," you said, throwing your hands up in despair, "go and get yourselves killed. Say hello to all the others for me won't you." And with that you turned and walked back towards the door. You got halfway before remembering that you were able to teleport, something which you swiftly proceeded to do.

Once in your bedroom you sat angrily on your bed and buried your head in your hands. Loki was going to get himself hurt, or killed, you just knew it. After about thirty seconds your anger gave way to what it really was, worry. Soon after that the guilt kicked in. Loki had just been told that his own mother had died and you'd... god, you'd shouted at him.

You teleported back up to the roof. The roof which was now empty. A sob rose in your throat as you pressed a hand to your mouth.

What had you done?