It had all been so bright under the water, and then so very dark. Now it was bright again, almost blindingly so.

It suddenly occurred to you that you had no body. For some reason this didn't alarm you.

People were shouting; they sounded scared, terrified in fact.

A tall blonde man was dragging the body of a girl out of the water. She was deathly pale, her eyes staring unseeingly at the sky.

She was dead.

This you knew innately, because the body was yours. Had been yours. Was it still?

For now.

A woman's voice interrupted your thoughts, but you ignored it, concentrating on what was happening on the street below you, for you were hovering in mid-air.

On your wrist, a silver bracelet sparkled in the sunlight. The bracelet which contained the tracker which these people had used to locate you.

"Call an ambulance, does anyone have a phone?!" a man with long brown hair and a metal arm and, by the looks of it, a broken leg, was shouting at passers-by, some of whom were backing away, some of whom were trying to help. They were slow, too slow, the ambulance would never make it in time. It was already too late.

It is not too late.

A woman who was also injured with red hair was clutching at your body and shaking it in what appeared to be disbelief.

Nat. Why didn't you feel sad? You loved her. You loved all of the people who were currently surrounding your body down on the ground, but you understood that there was some sort of barrier between you and them now.

Clint pulled Nat away from you so that Steve could start performing CPR while Bruce was reciting everything he knew about resuscitation. They all looked pretty worse for wear. Tony seemed to be dismantling his suit. You quickly realised what he was doing: he was trying to make a defibrillator.

"Tony you genius." you whispered, immediately struck by the fact that you could whisper.

You have not yet departed from this realm. There is still time.

Finally you recognised the woman's voice. Looking away from the chaos on the street below you, you turned to see Frigga.

You're dead.

Frigga smiled gently.

I'm afraid so.

Am I dead too?

Yes.

Why were you not panicking?

There is still time.

"Move, move!" Tony was shouting, and Steve moved back to let Tony attach two discs to your chest, with wires leading off of them to his suit. There was a large crowd of people gathered now.

"Get back." Bruce said, trying to clear as much space as possible. Tony wasn't waiting for a 'clear'.

"Now, JARVIS."

An electrical current surged through the wires and into your body, jolting it off of the ground momentarily. You felt yourself pulled towards the ground, towards your body by a seemingly invisible force.

It's working!

Y/N, will you do something for me?

What is it?

"Again."

Another shock, and you were pulled closer again to your body. One more and you'd be back.

Tell my sons that I love them.

You watched in anticipation as Tony prepared to shock you again, but Bruce put a hand on his arm to stop him.

"No, no, what are you doing?!" you shouted, feeling yourself beginning to float away again.

"Tony, it's too dangerous. You'd be running the risk of..."

"I know what I'm doing Banner."

"Tony, listen-"

"I can't let her die..."

"She's gone Tony. She's gone."

Tony's face crumpled and if you'd still had a heart it would have broken.

"No, Tony- Tony I'm here, I'm right here! Please!" you begged, desperately trying to stop yourself from floating away any further: an impossible task. Finally, panic gripped you.

"TONY!"

And with that Tony told JARVIS to shock you again.

You were propelled towards your body at speed with unimaginable force, and for a second everything was dark again.

Then the pain exploded, and you revelled in it.

You choked on the water which was filling your lungs, jerking upright and heaving to expel the liquid that was suffocating you. As you retched there were cries of amazement and relief from around you; hands clutching at you, towels and clothes being thrust towards you.

Dizziness descended upon you. Once you had ousted the contents of your lungs and stomach you lay back down and closed your eyes. It felt like you'd been stabbed through the chest with a bread knife and you were struggling to draw a breath.

You opened your eyes to tell someone that you couldn't breathe and saw only Tony, amazing, wonderful Tony who had just saved your life and was now sobbing uncontrollably. Reaching out to take his hand, you almost withdrew your arm when you touched him: he was boiling hot. It took your scrambled brain a moment, but you finally got there when you looked at your arm and saw that you were blue, really blue. Tony wasn't hot, you were cold. Really cold.

Now you thought of Loki. Was he okay?

Finally, sirens.

You were placed on a stretcher and given an oxygen mask and hooked up to a number of different machines. Tony came with you in the ambulance; a star struck paramedic stayed behind with the rest of the team to check them over. They were pretty banged up after the plane crash.

Tony stayed by your side for the next three hours while you were checked over a million and one times by a hundred different doctors and nurses for about forty two different illnesses, none of which you seemed to have.

And then finally, finally, you were allowed to sleep.

You did so for an entire day.

...

Back at the tower two days later, you were barely allowed to breathe for yourself. The team had never been this protective of you before, you weren't allowed to be left by yourself at any given time because apparently it wasn't unthinkable that you would suddenly keel over and die again.

Again.

You had died, and yet here you sat, alive. Breathing. Something had happened to you since you'd been revived on the edge of the Hudson River, something innate which you hadn't immediately been aware of. You viewed the world differently now, having died. You couldn't stop repeating it to yourself. You'd been dead, and you'd watched yourself getting brought back to life. For some reason you couldn't explain even to yourself, you hadn't told anyone about this.

And then there was Frigga.

Tell my sons I love them.

Which meant that Thor and Loki were alive. Frigga had told you no such thing, but for some reason you were now completely relaxed about the fact that the two brothers had been gone for over two weeks with no word. You would have felt something if Loki had died.

Which led you to start wondering if Loki thought that you were dead. You tried not to think about it, but it was difficult not to.

It was what you were thinking of right at this moment in time, sat on the sofa under seven blankets which Bruce had forced upon you the minute you'd sat down. He was feeling extra guilty, you knew, because he'd tried to prevent Tony from delivering the shock which had saved your life, even though he had done it with the best intentions in the world. According to the doctors it was a miracle that you hadn't suffered brain damage of any kind, or any serious internal injuries. You privately suspected that that was more down to you being Asgardian than a miracle.

"-in London, that's what I said, turn the TV on! JARVIS!" Tony yelled from the corridor, and came jogging into the room just as the TV came on.

"What-" you trailed off as Thor appeared on the TV. He appeared to be in London. Next to a very large spaceship which was currently heading towards what looked like a large, well-kept square garden surrounded by posh looking buildings.

The next few minutes were total carnage. Tony received a very loud phone call from Fury while the rest of the team gathered around the TV to watch glimpses of Thor flying around wielding Mjolnir as filmed by various news channels, none of whom had any idea what was going on. Loki was nowhere to be seen, a fact you weren't sure whether you were relieved or worried about.

After about ten minutes, the spaceship disappeared into a portal. And so, apparently, did Thor, because you didn't see him again. And wouldn't for another four days of torturous waiting.

The Bifrost wasn't exactly quiet, so the minute Thor returned you all knew immediately. Everyone jumped up and started towards the roof, apart from you. Because Loki wasn't with him.

"Y/N?" Tony asked. You stood up slowly.

"I think you should all stay here." you said, your throat dry. And then you teleported to the roof.

Thor looked so tired; you could see him trying to hold it together as you walked towards him, heart beating out of your chest. It took Thor three attempts to speak before he finally managed a weak "he"... and then fell to bits. You put your arms around him and he hugged you to him tightly, crying silently.

It took you a good minute to pluck up the courage to read his mind, even though you were already certain of what you were going to encounter.

Loki had been killed.

...

It was the longest evening of your life. No one knew what to do or say. You didn't know how to feel.

On the one hand, you were sure that Loki wasn't dead. On the other, you'd watched him die in Thor's mind. Your imagination had immediately run riot trying to think of all the possible explanations which could involve Thor seeing what he'd seen but resulted in Loki not dying, all as ridiculous as the next. You couldn't understand why your brain could not just accept it; you needed to grieve and cry.

It didn't happen.

Eventually everyone started to get tired, but no one wanted to leave you or Thor, so you pretended to fall asleep. One by one the team quietly left the room, until only you and Thor remained. Thor stayed for so long that you thought you might actually fall asleep, until finally he left about an hour and a half later.

You opened your eyes and looked out of the windows. The moon was rising up above the New York skyline, big and beautiful in the night sky. It wasn't yet dark enough for the stars to be totally visible.

You thought of Frigga. When you'd told Thor that you'd seen and talked to his mother one last time when you'd almost died he had at first not believed you, until you told him what she had said to you. Then he'd cried. You felt beyond awful for him; he'd lost his mother and his brother in what had probably only been about two days for him.

Melancholy thoughts continued to plague you for the next few hours. You watched the moon rise higher and higher until it disappeared from your sight and you decided to go up on the roof, bringing a blanket with you for warmth.

You'd been expecting the roof to be deserted, obviously.

You'd certainly not been expecting to find yourself face to face with Loki, who, a split second previously, had arrived via the Bifrost.

The blanket fell from around your shoulders as you stared at each other wide eyed. Loki reached out and grabbed your forearms tightly, and then shook you slightly as if checking that you were real, which is exactly what he was trying to do.

You blinked up at him stupidly. Was this some sort of whacko side effect of dying? Life like hallucinations?

Suddenly he crushed you to his chest, one hand on the back of your head and one on your back, inhaling sharply as he did so. This was no hallucination.

"Loki-"

He let out a sob which sounded as though it had been lodged deep in his chest for a while as you whispered his name, causing tears to prick at your own eyes as you allowed your hands to slide up his back.

He was here. He was alive. You both were.

Loki shook as you held each other, his face pressed against the top of your head as you sobbed into his chest, all of the tears you hadn't cried over the past few weeks suddenly making themselves apparent. It took you a second to realise that you were both saying the same thing to each other, over and over.

I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry...

It felt so good to have his voice back in your head.

I shouldn't have yelled at you before you left... I'm so sorry, I was so worried-

Never mind about that, what happened to you? I felt- I thought-

He was unable to even think it.

I died.

Loki's hold on you tightened.

Someone tried to drown me, well, did drown me. The others found me and resuscitated me.

I felt it. It felt... it was the most awful thing-

I saw Frigga.

Loki drew away from you so that he could look at you properly. You used your sleeve to wipe the tears from his face.

"You what?" he asked, his voice hoarse.

"She spoke to me. Said that there was still hope for me, and asked me to tell you that she loves you."

There was none of the disbelief that Thor had shown, only love, and immense grief. He didn't reply, just nodded tightly, frowning as he bit his lip.

It's okay Loki.

"I didn't even get to say goodbye-" his voice broke, and you ached with sympathy for him. After a few more minutes of simply standing and holding each other, you realised that there was a very obvious question you hadn't yet asked him.

Why does Thor think you're dead? Again? There was a slightly accusatory tone to that last word.

Loki took a deep breath.

"I need to tell you something."

Yes, I think you probably do.

Odin is in a care home a few blocks away from here. I disguised myself as him to talk to Thor so he doesn't suspect anything. Asgard thinks I'm dead, and with Odin gone...

Here he pulled away from you and cast an illusion to make him look like Odin, holding his arms out. You stared at him in utter disbelief, before an astonished laugh bubbled in your throat.

"You can't be serious." you grinned.

Deadly.

Your face fell as he let the illusion drop.

What is it?

Lots of things. Mainly, ruling Asgard involves living on Asgard. But we live here...

Loki moved back over to you and took your hands in his. You knew what was coming, and the thought thrilled and terrified you in equal measures.

"Come with me."

A million thoughts and feelings passed between the two of you in a matter of seconds.

"I can't leave the team, Loki."

"You're Asgardian, it's where you belong."

"I may be Asgardian, but I'm an Avenger too. They're my family."

"You'd be safe! No one kidnapping you or drowning you..."

You laughed, you couldn't help it.

"Let's go, right now. We don't need anything."

You looked at him, right at him. His eyes were bloodshot from crying but he had the beginning of a smile on his face, knowing full well that you had already made up your mind.

One condition.

Yes, anything.

You let Thor and the others know that you're alive and safe.

Loki's face dropped.

"No one else needs to know. Just them."

He gave a resigned sigh.

"Fine."

You stared at each other for another second.

Are we really doing this?

I, your king, have already done everything. So yes, we are.

Well then Your Highness...

It's actually Your Majesty-

Oh, shut up Loki.

And with that he pulled you towards him again.

"Ready?"

You nodded.

Loki turned his face to the sky to call for the Bifrost to be opened. Within seconds you were being pulled up into the sky in the multicoloured band of light, away from the tower and Midgard and towards your new life on Asgard.

...