26th November, two years later.

A D D I E

Walking between the green houses that lined the paddocks on the farm, was Maggie and Willa. Hand in hand, they giggled and ran across the dewy grass, the fall chill causing swirls of cold breath to make little clouds in their wake.

I watched on, smiling at Midge and Toto who barked, chasing them with excitement. Maggie looked precious in her knee high gumboots, a snug coat on and a beanie atop her dark brown curls. She was the spitting image of Margo, bringing me a piece of my sister each time she laughed or grinned.

"I love the new greenhouses, mom," Willa shouted, running her hand along the thick plastic covering of the round domes. Recently, my thriving indoor and outdoor house plant business had done well enough that I could expand production and even hire a couple of staff members to give me help.

Loaded with enough experience on running a business, it had been the perfect career move for me, combining what I knew and what I loved. I'd even done a couple of weddings as a horticulturist rather than a planner. There were some couples that preferred plants rather than flowers.

Lavender whinnied from her paddock and Willa looked over at her. "Can Maggie and me go for a ride?"

"Sure, you go and get the helmets," I said, starting a slow waddle across the grass so that I could collect my adventurous little daughter before she made a break for it. She was so like Margo in every way. Exploring, excited, undeterred by whatever obstacles might have been in her way.

Her cheeks were rose red, nose cold when she pushed her face against mine to give me a kiss after I'd lifted her up and perched her on the mound of my stomach. For being just thirty three weeks along, I was carrying rather large.

Zac assured me that was because we were having a little boy and he was going to be tall and built like his father. The thought made me smile, a little Zac, his golden tan skin and big brown eyes. Of course, there was every chance that our son could inherit my height, Zac assured me that would be just fine too.

Lavender was part of the family at this point, she'd matured so well, she was gentle with the girls, obedient, careful and slow when Maggie and Willa were on her back. She was still the most self aware horse that I'd ever met. Willa held Maggie's hand while I saddled her up and then we used the stepping stool so that Willa could climb on first and next followed Maggie, in the front, little fingers wrapped around the reins.

"Ride Ladder," Maggie squealed with excitement, she couldn't quite get Lavender out at the moment. But Ladder was just as cute.

"Yep," I said, double checking that her helmet was secure, Willa's too. "Ride Lavender. You say, giddy up, Lavender."

"G-up, ladder!"

Willa giggled and used the heel of her foot to give a gentle nudge in the side and Lavender walked. That was it. She knew she was only allowed to walk with the girls on her back. She didn't go far either, wide circles close enough that I could talk to Willa and she would hear me.

Willa was growing into a beautiful young girl, so self assured and sweet. After Raine and Milo's honey moon, we'd spoken to them about Will calling Raine and me mom and while Milo seemed hesitant at first, Raine was so thrilled at the idea, he couldn't say no.

It did make it a little bit difficult when we were all in the same room and Willa said 'mom' and both of us answered her. But we were making it work because that was what Willa wanted and it never ceased to amaze me that not only was I in her life, but she loved me so much, she wanted to call me mom. I never felt deserving, but I cherished it.

Heavy footsteps pushed through the wet blades of grass behind me, the slight slosh of damp earth being pressed on and raising again made me turn and find Zac approaching in a thick parka, his hood up and his hands in his pockets.

"You girls are up early," he stopped beside me and dropped an arm around my shoulder. "Happy thanksgiving, baby."

"Happy thanksgiving," I tiptoed to give him a kiss and held the hand that he had dropped over my shoulder, toying the wedding band on his finger. "The girls wanted to come outside and play. I forget that the cold doesn't exist at that age."

"You should have woken me up, I'd have brought them out."

"No, that's alright. I wanted to check on the greenhouses anyway."

"Everything going well?" He asked, pressing a kiss against my head, his lips lingering.

"Yep. We have a few dozen orders to send out over the next week, so that'll keep us busy."

"How about I look after Mags then," he suggested. "I'll take her into the showroom, let her win all of the customers over. She loves hanging out with the cars."

"She does," I smiled.

Zac's showroom was thriving too. He'd recently had a driveway laid that came from the road, through the paddock and to the show room doors with a little four car parking lot that customers could use so they didn't have to come through the dusty narrow track that used to be used for the dirt bikes and horses.

There were a constant stream of cars being imported and sold just as fast. Specialty cars, muscle cars, vintage classics. Whatever he could get his hands on. As well as the engine work that he continued to do in his new workshop. Between my plants and his cars, we had industrial sized sheds all over the property so that we could keep stock and fill out orders.

"Dadda," Maggie squealed, pushing her ringlets off her face, only to have them bounce back. She needed a fringe trim. "Dadda, I ride ladder! See."

"That's awesome baby girl," Zac shouted back, giving her a thumbs up. Maggie's little front teeth were on full display when she grinned and copied Zac's thumbs up.

For someone who so adamantly claimed he wasn't ready to be a dad when he found out I was pregnant with Maggie, he'd taken to fatherhood as if he was made for it.

After we reconciled at Raine's wedding, we started dating again. It was slow in the beginning. He would pick me up with a house plant— not flowers— a house plant and he would take me on a date and then he would drop me off at home and we did that for about three weeks until we couldn't stand being apart any longer.

We were married within six months, I sold the home I'd bought when I moved to Texas, moved onto the farm with Maggie and life had been beautiful ever since. We decorated a bedroom for her together, we had Willa every other weekend and we saw her a lot in between. Zac and I continued to develop our careers while we raised our daughter.

There were still moments when I felt niggling bouts of guilt for living out the life Margo so desperately wanted. But she'd wanted it for me too. She'd wanted me to be happy and sometimes it was as if I could hear her, thanking me for raising her daughter, for loving her, for finally allowing myself to love and be loved. I missed her, I missed the potential of our futures and the things we'd planned. I missed looking forward to watching her be a mother.

But the circumstances couldn't be altered or changed and it would be senseless to sit down and let life pass by because I felt guilty that she wasn't here to live it with me. She'd have been furious if I'd done that. So I was doing what she no longer could and I knew she appreciated it. I knew I had her blessing.

Finally, after such a long time of hurt and loss and things going wrong time and time again, I felt optimistic and excited and full. It was as if I was being granted peace after surviving so much trauma. But I knew no matter what happened, whatever obstacles life might have had left for me, I had a lot of love around me to see me through.

"Should we take the girls in for a hot chocolate?" Zac asked. "Do you want one?"

"I'll have a decaf coffee this morning," I said. "I'm missing the real thing but I'll settle for pretend."

He kissed me on the nose. "Ooh cold," he gave me a few more pecks and then he jogged over to help the girls down from Lavender.

"Who wants a hot chocolate?"

"Me!" They said in unison. He lifted Maggie off first and it was one of my favourite things to watch because it was so effortless and she was so little in his arms. He set her on the ground and pointed to me.

"Go and see mom."

She ran, it was so slow and cute, her gumboots weighing her legs down but eventually she made it and I scooped her up.

The four of us headed back up to the house after Zac took Lavenders saddle and reins off. Midge and Toto must have come back while the girls were riding the horse because they were on their kennel decks, enjoying the morning sun as it broke through the tree leaves and shimmered on the beads of water coating the grass.

Zac flicked his hood off and started making hot chocolate while Blake was focused on the food preparations. The kitchen was a concoction of delicious aromas. Turkey, pies, hot bread, vegetables. She'd been up cooking at the crack of dawn so it was ready when our guests arrived at lunch time. It was Willa's weekend to sleepover, she'd been here since Friday night.

"Zac," Blake grumbled with amusement, holding a big pot of boiling potatoes while he blocked the sink. "Get out of the way, would ya?"

"Oh, sorry," he turned around and took the pot from his long time house keeper. "What do you want done with these?"

"Drained, thank you, darlin."

The girls and I sat on the other side of the kitchen island with our cups. Maggie had a sippy cup and no sugar in her hot chocolate but she loved it all the same. As I was lifting my mug, Zac, who had finished draining the potatoes, stood in front of the island, lifted his phone and told us to smile.

Maggie, ever the poser did not hesitate. Her smile was adorable, she showed off her teeth, her little nose scrunched up and her fringe of ringlets sat on her thick lashes.

"Beautiful," Zac smiled at the photo he'd taken and then he looked at Willa. "Why aren't you smiling?"

"Because my stupid braces look dumb in photos."

As sweet and special as Willa was, she was still a twelve year old girl, she was changing, puberty would be happening soon and on top of that, Zac and I had paid for her to have braces when she started getting more self conscious about her slight overbite.

"Will," Zac said, leaning his palms on the island. "You have a beautiful smile, kid. Braces and all. You got your mom's dimples. Can't see those if you don't smile."

She pursed her lips.

"Zac," I said, switching Maggie to my other knee because the one she was sitting on was going numb. "Slice up that orange for me babe."

He raised a brow in confusion but did what I asked. When it was sliced, I took a piece and gave one to Willa. "Here," I said. "We'll be even now."

I shoved the orange slice into my mouth and smiled so that the rind was the only thing to be seen. Willa laughed and did the same, her giggle muffled by her mouthful of fruit. Maggie looked between us, her lips parted, her brows pinched and then she tried to grab the orange out of my mouth.

"Want some," she grumbled while I grabbed both of her hands and angled my face away so that she couldn't scratch my lips with her haphazard attempt to get the slice from me.

"Mags," Zac said, slicing a piece so that it was nice and small. "Mags, here, look. One for Maggie."

She settled down and let Zac carefully put the slice between her lips so that, she too, had a big orange smile. She giggled and clapped her hands and Zac quickly went back to the other side of the kitchen island so that he could snap a photo. We had a look at it afterward, the three of us with protruding lips and orange in place of teeth. It was cute.

"Oh no," Willa said after she'd taken her slice out and smacked her lips. "There's orange bits all through my braces.

"Oops," I winced. "You better go upstairs and brush to get that out."

She shot upstairs and Zac moved around Blake who was whipping cream so that he could lift Maggie out of my arms. "Should we get you down for a nap before lunch? Hmm? What time did you wake up?"

"She woke up at five."

"You should have woken me up," Zac murmured and leaned down to give me a kiss.

"It's fine, I'm used to waking up with her. Don't stress."

"Give momma a kiss," Zac held her tight and leaned down so that she could give me a kiss. "Say, see you after my nap, momma."

"See after nap, momma," she waved and waved and waved some more until Zac turned the corner out of the kitchen and headed upstairs.

"Do you need a hand with anything?" I asked Blake, knowing her answer before she said it.

"No, no, this is what I'm paid to do miss Addie. Besides, you keep off your feet."

Blake had been Zac's housekeeper for a long time, but she was more like family and I loved how much she cared about all of us. She looked after us in the same way that Margo used to look after me. Fussing with food, making sure that I was getting outside enough, cleaning up after me even when I insisted she shouldn't.

I was about to insist that I help with the desserts at least when there was a loud thump on the door, followed by the sound of roller wheels on the foyer floor and a well known hollering that echoed through the house.

"Hello? Addie you slag, didn't even come and meet me at the cab. Where the bloody hell are you?"

"I'm in the kitchen."

Irie appeared at the threshold with her leopard print luggage, sunglasses on her bald head and a wicked smile on her lips. "Happy thanksgiving doll. You are looking rather pregnant and I'd love to know where the girls are."

Blake tutted under her breath, exasperated already. She'd met Irie twice and found her entirely too much on both occasions. I understood that, Irie was a storm that never settled.

"Willa's upstairs brushing her teeth and Maggie just went down for a nap."

Her shoulders fell.

"Yeah, the timing was off but she'll be up again in time for lunch."

Irie spread her arms and walked forward. "Ah well, bring her in. How's married life? Mum life? Middle of nowhere life."

We parted from our hug and Irie sat down on the stool next to me, the room orbiting around her presence. As much as I used to complain about how loud and obnoxious I found her when Margo was alive, the truth was, Irie was selfless. She'd extended her hand to me in a time of need, when I was falling apart and suffering of a broken heart. Without her help, I wasn't sure where I would be today. Her spirit was unmatched and I'd love and cherish her forever.

"Life in the middle of nowhere is fantastic," I said. "It's quiet. Peaceful. It smells like fresh soil and—"

"Alright mother nature, settle down," she dug her hand into a bowl of chips that Blake had just poured. "I get it. You're one with the trees. I applaud that. I couldn't do it, that's for sure."

"Do what?"

"Live out in the country. So far from the road that I can't hear the traffic. It's too quiet at night."

"Oh," I nodded with understanding, so that's why you're going into a hotel tonight instead of bunking here."

She'd told me on the phone that she didn't want to be a bother so she'd booked a room in town. No matter how much I insisted that she wasn't putting us out, she refused to budge. I should have known it was more than manners. Irie had no issue inserting herself where she may or may not have belonged.

"Yeah, last time I felt like I was going to star in a real life horror film," she said, a shiver racking her tall slender frame. "So quiet, the occasional neigh or moo and that was it. It was the perfect setting for some psychopath to chase me through the fields with an ax."

"Zac would never let that happen," I grinned. "You have seen my husband, right? Tall, super fit, totally capable of fighting a psychopath off with his bare hands."

Irie swallowed her mouthful of chips, shaking her head at me. "You really just took the chance to flex the fact that you married a ten, didn't you?"

I laughed and then in sauntered my said ten, the faintest hint of a smile alluding to the fact that he'd heard our conversation.

"Irie," he gave her a nod and slipped his arms around my shoulders, standing behind me. "How are you?"

"I am swell, Zac. You?"

The two of them stared at each other for a moment and I had to smother a laugh. This had been going on since Zac and I got married. Irie wandered through his car collection and expressed that she desperately wanted to buy a 1964 convertible Pontiac GTO that he'd restored and painted dark purple with black detailing and wide wheels.

It was Irie through and through, the attitude, the modern shades on the classic exterior. The way the car screamed, look at me, I'm bold and I'm bad.

Zac had been ordered not to sell the car because Irie was going to get it next time she was in town and each time she'd come, she'd backed out, not convinced she could fork out the thirty eight thousand dollars it was going to cost. Zac kept it though, he wanted to see it in her possession, no matter how long it took.

Finally, Irie straightened up. "I'm going to drive it home tomorrow."

"Really," Zac asked, his chin atop my head. "You're going to buy it this time? For real? Because the amount of offers I've had on it in the last year and a half, I'm starting to think I can't hold onto it much longer."

"No," Irie snapped. "That is my car. I'm getting it. Tomorrow. I'll have a check. It's mine."

Zac clacked his tongue. "You're really sure?"

"Yes," she said.

"And you're going to drive it all the way back to California?" I asked. "That's a long drive."

"It's a road trip. You should come."

"I am way too pregnant to sit in a car for that long," I said. "After he's born, we'll take her for a spin. We could roadie to Vegas or something. Girls weekend?"

Irie inhaled a loud gasp and gripped my arm with her long stiletto nails. "Yes please. Do get that baby out of you as soon as possible. My fortieth is in three months. Best be good to go by then."

Zac laughed above me. I was due soon, but that didn't mean I would be able to leave my newborn for an entire weekend so I could tear up the strip with Irie. Still, I wouldn't crush her hopes. Even if I couldn't go for her fortieth, I would follow through with the promise because I was doing that a lot more these days.

Travelling, socializing, going outside of my comfort zone so I could experience new things and meet new people. I was doing what Margo had always wanted me to do because she was right, life started when I was living it.

Sitting around, hoping I would gain the same fulfillment my characters had by simply reading about them, was unrealistic. Sure, I was still a homebody, I continued to immerse myself in books and fiction, but when opportunity to create memories came knocking, I took them. 

"Hi, Irie," Willa walked into the kitchen, her dark brown waves on top of her head. Irie shot out of her seat and squealed.

"Look at you. Beautiful. You know, I love that smile. You have the cutest dimples," Irie started steering her out of the kitchen. "Your face would look perfect on a billboard. An ad campaign for. . . I don't know. Something. How's that boy you told me about on the phone?"

Zac came and stood beside me, his brows pulled tight as he stared down at me. "What boy?"

My sweet husband, so full of care and protection for the people he loves. There were just some things only moms were allowed to know though. Raine and I were in agreement on that one. I shrugged a shoulder and said, "I'm just as confused as you are."

He rested his hands on his hips and blew out a breath, his tousled hair licking the base of his neck. I stood up and pushed my fingers into it. "I'm in love with you."

His worried frown lifted into a smile. "Well that's a relief. After a year and a half of marriage, I wasn't sure." He kissed me, his hands cradling the underside of my bump. "I am so in love with you too," he whispered.

What did it all mean? Why did my sister die right before her life as a mother began? Why did I end up here, with the daughter I gave up, who happened to be family with a man who I consider to be the other half of my soul? I don't know. I can't ever answer those questions. The way the world works is bigger than I am and it might never make sense, but what I'm making of it now, that does make sense. I'll cherish it because one thing I've learned, everything happens for a reason.

____

Ahhh. The end. ! I loved writing this book. The characters. Their journeys. This is just a first draft and I usually go through and edit so I'll get around to that but I've already got a plan in mind for my next book. I really liked writing the book in full and then posting the chapters quickly and close together.

How did that work for you guys? It does mean a bit longer wait before I start posting again but it also means less of a wait between chapters. Haha.

Thank you so much for reading this book. I had this idea for quite a while before I wrote it so it means so much to me that it's out in the world now ! You know me, sometimes I come back and do bonus chapters. If I was to do that, what would you like to see ? :)

Love you all !