Saturday, 6th October
5 months later

A D D I E

Today was truly the most beautiful fall day that we could have been blessed with. My living room window looked out on a green front lawn surrounded with a short white fence, huge trees with red and orange leaves sheltered the front of the house.

Maggie and I had recently moved into our little two bedroom cottage in Berry Creek. Just a street over from Willa. It could not have been more perfect. It had dark wooden floors, cream walls and lots of space. The front passage and corridor were wide, the bedrooms were big and the kitchen had a breakfast nook and modern appliances.

Willa loved it here. She said it was classic with all the comforts of modern living. It was recently renovated before I'd bought it.

Raine was getting married this afternoon and as I'd hoped, the weather was perfect. Warm enough for short sleeves, cool enough that it wouldn't hurt to be outside. Leaves rained from the trees and decorated the ground with striking fall shades that felt cozy and enchanting.

Maggie babbled from under her play mat on the large white rug that was laid out on the living room floor. Her little arms and legs kicked, swiping at the musical toys that hung above her. I couldn't wait to get her into the dress I'd bought for her.

"Let me just water the plants my sweet girl," I said, swiping up the watering can that I'd abandoned when I got lost admiring the view outside. I loved it here. So much. "Then we'll get you down for a nap so I can get ready."

She babbled in response, blowing bubbles and cooing.

As I swept around the room, watering the house plants on the shelves and the ones that hung from the ceiling, I couldn't help but feel my heart rate increase at the thought of seeing Zac again. It had been so long, over a year and it would be a lie to say that I didn't think about him all the time.

It was also astounding that I'd managed to avoid him for so long. Living in Georgetown meant that there was a huge chance I would run into him at some point, if not for the fact that I spent a lot of time with Raine, Milo and Willa. I'd even been picking her up from school once in a while.

She came over and spent the afternoon, doing her homework, playing with Maggie, telling me about what she's been reading or watching. I felt more whole and healed than I had in a long time. This place had never felt more like home, although, I did miss the farm.

Sometimes I was tempted to go and visit, even if I just sat at the end of the drive and remembered a time that kickstarted my journey to healing.

But no, if Zac saw me hanging around, he'd want to know what the hell I was doing. And I wouldn't know what to tell him.

One of the selling points of this home was the shelving that stretched half way across the living room wall. It was covered in books, plants, and of course, photos of Margo. I watered a fern sitting beside her picture frame and touched the edge of her smile.

"I miss you."

Maggie cooed, loudly, happily.

I turned around and grinned. "I'm coming baby girl."

Maggie had a nursery of her own where I'd put her cot and change table and drawers and all of the cute toys that I'd been given at my baby shower. But for now, she slept with me in my bedroom. Her crib was one that attached to my own bed so that I could easily slide her in and out for night feeds but she wouldn't risk falling out of bed.

I breastfed her until she fell asleep and then I gently tucked her in and went into the en-suite to get ready. An hour later I was wearing a new dress that came to the middle of my calves and unzipped at the chest. Which was intentional and convenient for feeding Maggie. It was a dark green made of gorgeous fabric which had a slight stretch and ruched around the waist.

I'd been doing a lot of walking and some exercise since Maggie was born and I wasn't unhappy with my body but it had changed. I was fuller than before and I was already thick around the hips. I had stretch marks lining the bottom of my stomach and thighs. It didn't bother me so much but it was definitely harder bouncing back now than it had been when I was fourteen.

"Right," I said to Maggie later that afternoon, putting her on my hip in her little ruffled dress that was the same colour as mine. She had a soft headband on with a flower on the top and I kissed her cheek. "Don't let me say something stupid to him, okay? I mean, what are the chances that I won't even bump into him?"

She blinked at me, chewing on her fingers.

"Thought so," I felt my stomach turn over. "Oh well. Here we go."

Because I'd taken off in the middle of planning the wedding, Raine had to hire someone else to help her out. I'd chosen the planner per her request and I'd still advised her over the phone, so I knew that it had all come together beautifully.

My heart was pounding, my throat thick as I drove into the farm gates and slowly made my way toward the area that had been designated to parking. There were cars and people all over the place. Most of those people were looking up at the sudden influx of dark clouds that had started rolling over the sky.

"Shoot," I murmured, getting Maggie out of her seat. The ceremony was outside, so I hoped that it wouldn't rain until the reception at least.

"Addie," I heard a squeal and turned around to see Willa running toward me in her beautiful dress, hair in plaits just like she'd wanted them done.

"Will," I gasped, looking at the light make up on her face. A bit of blush and mascara. Nothing major. "You look beautiful honey."

"Thanks," she grinned. "So do you. I like your hair."

All I'd done was some really loose curls that fell half way down my back. It was more than I'd done in a long time, usually it was swept up in a bun. As it was, I'd have a hard time keeping it down when Maggie's fingers kept getting tangled in it.

"That dress looks perfect," I said to Willa as we walked toward the house. She was wearing a long pale pink dress that almost touched the floor, she spun in a circle as we walked inside and nostalgia hit.

Even with all of the people taking up space and the fact that I'd only spent a little over a month here, this place was familiar in a sense that I couldn't understand. From the reaction I'd felt, you would have thought I grew up here.

"Aw look at Midge and Toto," I said about the dogs who were sitting just outside the dining area porch doors with little bow ties attached to their collars. "That's so cute."

"That was my idea," Willa said, full of pride.

"Such a good idea."

My eyes wandered the area, not recognising most of the faces that passed. Keith came shuffling through in a sharp suit and I gasped.

"Keith!"

He stopped and his smile turned into total delight. "Darlin', how wonderful to see you, and look at this gorgeous little girl. Maggie ain't it? Oh she's sweet as sugar."

Maggie giggled, her two front teeth had just broken through and it gave her already beautiful smile a whole lot of character.

"We'll have to have a proper catch up after the ceremony darlin," Keith was talking to me but his attention was focused on Maggie. "I've been sent to gather everyone for the ceremony. Take seats. It's all about to start."

"Of course, we'll catch up afterwards."

"Willa," he said. "Raine wants you upstairs quick smart. Said you weren't supposed to be wandering off."

She covered her guilty smile with her hands and started running upstairs.

Rows of white chairs with dark orange bows were arranged in the back garden. The flower beds sat behind a beautiful big awning that was wrapped in climbing vines and flowers, the pastor stood, waiting while guests took their seats.

The entire time that I slipped through the row of seats, I kept my head down and was careful not to look at the groomsmen lined up on the right hand side, because I knew he was there and I could feel him watching me and it was so unnerving, knowing how aware of his presence I was.

And then, almost on an accord of their own, my eyes looked up and moved over his tall frame in a tailored suit that hugged him like a glove. His hair was tousled and his stubble was short. He was so gorgeous that it winded me for a moment and memories came flooding back in full force, threatening to drown me the longer that our eyes remained locked on one another.

He let his gaze sweep over me, it was slow, intentional and it was entirely too much, I had to avert my attention and focus on Maggie who was sitting on my lap, gurgling.

She was such a relaxed baby, she didn't fuss a lot or cry unless she was super tired. It always felt like she was doing her best to make life easier for me.

For the rest of the ceremony, I didn't look at Zac. I watched Willa walking down the aisle, scattering orange rose petals on the ground, Raine in her stunning dress. It was a strapless mermaid fit with a detailed lace back and a veil. I quietly and politely declined when a couple of old women beside me asked to hold Maggie. Willa gave a short but sweet speech about how much she loves having Raine in her life and how happy she is for her dad.

The ceremony was gorgeous and when everyone wandered down to the barn, there was a lot of chatter about how beautiful it was. There was an antique wheelbarrow and wagon wheel and some hay bales stacked in the corner. It made the perfect place for photographs. Tables lined the outer edges and were decorated with glass centrepieces and dark orange name cards.

Fairy lights started in the middle of the high ceiling and extended out to the corners. The table that I was sitting at was occupied by Tyler, May and a couple of other people that I didn't know.

"So," I said to the teens that I hadn't seen in a while, prying a napkin out of Maggie's grip. "College? What's the plan?"

May smiled. "I got accepted into Harvard medical."

"I can't even fathom being that smart," I said, inspired by her. "So you're both out of here then?"

"In a few weeks," Tyler said, watching May with nothing short of total admiration. "I've got a job lined up and all."

"Wow," I said. "That's great you guys. You've done so well."

Right now didn't seem like the best time to ask how things with May's father were going, so I didn't but I was glad to know that she was getting out of here and heading into what seemed like a bright future.

The room fell quiet for Raine and Milo's first dance, the lighting dimmed, leaving a simple spotlight on the floor above them. They were so in love, they couldn't take their eyes off each other and it was mesmerising to watch. After the dance was over, Willa and Milo started to dance, she stood on his toes and other couples joined the dance floor. Raine made her way towards me and melted at the sight of Maggie.

"Congratulations beautiful," I said, standing to hug her with one arm. "You look incredible."

"I'm so glad you're here," she said, her lashes were long and her golden brown cheeks had a shimmering layer of highlight on them. She was glowing. "Are you doing okay? I know you don't really know many people here, are you comfortable?"

"I'm fine," I assured her and handed Maggie over when she held out her hands. "I'm a grown up, I can cope without someone holding my hand."

That might not have been true a while ago, but ever since Margo died, and Maggie came along, I've had to step up and push myself outside of comfort zones. A lot had subtly changed and sometimes it was easy to forget that I'd spent a long time letting my big sister look after me.

"If you need to feed Maggie, or change her, or anything just head into the main house."

I said nothing, not sure how to respond because the house belonged to Zac now, Keith wasn't even living here and it felt awkward to accept that sort of offer without him being the one to suggest it.

"It's fine," Raine said, recognising my hesitance. "Zac was the one who wanted you to know that you're welcome to put the baby down for a nap if you need to."

"He did?"

She rolled her eyes, amusement in her smile. "You two are hopeless. Yes. It's fine. Are you still good to have Willa tonight? We can drop her off in the morning if that's easier?"

"No, no. I'll take her with me tonight. Enjoy your wedding night alone."

Raine smiled. Graciously, she and Milo had agreed to let me babysit Willa while they went and spent two weeks in Fiji for their honeymoon. They didn't leave until tomorrow mid morning, but it made sense to take Willa tonight.

Raine excused herself to mingle with some more guests and I had a chat with Keith about life in retirement. He couldn't speak highly enough of the village he was in and the activities, the new friends, the comfort. He seemed more vibrant than when I was living here.

Maggie started to fuss around the time the meals were being served but when it came down to her eating, or me, she won. I could have fed her in here, but she'd need a nap afterwards. If Willa wasn't coming home with me, I'd have just left, but she was having so much fun, I wasn't going to steal her away just yet.

"Addie?"

A shot of chill ran straight up my spine at the sound of his voice. My damn body was still giving me away, reacting to him in a way that was obvious and embarrassing. I turned around and looked up at a face that had been visiting my dreams for months.

"Hi, Zac."

He slipped his hands into his pants pockets. His jacket was gone and his shirt sleeves were rolled to the elbow.

"It's nice to see you."

"Yeah, you too," I said, jostling Maggie, who was getting restless.

"She's beautiful," he smiled at my daughter. "Maggie right?"

"Yeah."

Sadness seeped into his features, turning his dark brown gaze into a whirlpool of emotion that wanted to suck me in and pull me under. He tried to hide it with a smile.

"You wanna dance?"

"Oh um, everyone's eating," I looked around and shrugged. "And I have to go and feed Maggie. Raine said it was okay to use a spare bedroom?"

"Of course," he said. "Yeah, please. Go ahead. Whatever you need."

"Thank you," I said, tasting regret on my tongue. How much I wished this wasn't the way things were between us. I never stopped wanting so much more.

But that was selfish because at the end of the day, I was a mother. It wasn't just me anymore and I couldn't ask someone with as much future and career potential as Zac, to take on me and a baby. He deserved a clean break and a fresh start with someone he could have a family with.

Outside, it looked so much later than it was. The clouds were low, dark, a thunder of rumble went across the sky and I awkwardly ran the whole way back to the house with Maggie on my hip. Just as we reached the back deck, thick raindrops pelted the awning and the downpour was furious within seconds.

"Seriously?"

The house was dim, not dark enough that I couldn't see but I still switched on the light in the downstairs spare bedroom. Thunder boomed, startling me while I sat on the edge of the bed and fed Maggie. Lightening flashed outside of the window. It must have been so loud on the barn roof. Although, the music was probably offering good competition.

After I'd changed Maggie and pulled the mattress off the base, I settled a snoozing Maggie down with a blanket. She was rolling now and I didn't want her to slip off the bed at full height.

Kissing her on the head, I pulled her headband off and left the room. There was no way I'd leave her in the house alone, so I wandered out into the kitchen and flicked the kettle on.

Watching the storm through the window was beautiful in a dark and haunting sense. There was something about heavy downpours on vast open spaces that was mesmerising. Lightening cracked in the open sky, sharp prongs striking down on the fields and illuminating the entire horizon.

The kettle hadn't finished boiling when it switched off, along with the lights, the fridge, everything.

"Power cut," I mumbled, feeling a bit nervous at the sudden plunge into a thick wall of darkness. I pulled my phone out of my pocket and started texting Raine, not that she'd probably see it, when I heard the dining room doors open.

"Addie?"

It was Zac.

"In the kitchen."

His phone light was blaring when he appeared at the threshold with Willa behind him, wrapped like a cocoon in a blanket. "Why are all the lights off?"

"Uh, the power cut?"

"Oh shit," he sighed and blew out a breath. He was drenched, his hair was wet, his shirt, his clothes were clinging to him.

"Did the power not go out in the barn?"

"No, it's run on a separate generator. We just came in to ask if you two wanted to crash here tonight? The storm is pretty bad and it doesn't look like it'll let up any time soon. That way you don't have to take Willa and Maggie out in this weather."

Admittedly, it wasn't a hard sell. The thought of being on the road in these conditions made me nervous, especially when I'd have two little ones with me that I considered more precious than life itself. "Actually, that'd be really great, Zac. Are you sure you don't mind? Will, you okay with that?"

Her blanket was covered in beads of water but she gave her head a quick, enthusiastic nod. Zac quickly went over to the scullery and disappeared inside, coming back with a handful of candles that he made quick work of lighting, casting an ambient light throughout the room. Flickering shadows danced across his profile, making his chiseled features all the more alluring.

"Maggie is asleep in the bedroom down the hall if you want to share with her?" I said. "We could put some candles in there too if you like?"

"On it," he put his phone light on again and turned on his heel. I watched the back of him, his wet, white shirt stretching across his broad shoulders and I wanted to put my arms around them more than anything.

Suddenly I heard Willa clear her throat, it startled me and I met her stare across the room. She stretched her mouth into a wide, knowing smile.

"What?" I said, suspiciously.

"Sleepover."

"Did you do this on purpose?"

She looked outside, confusion on her delicate face. "Yes, I am the goddess of weather."

"Very funny."

"I'm very tired," she dropped her blanket and skipped towards me. "I think I'll go and find some PJs and get into bed and go straight to sleep." She wrapped her arms around my waist, the front of her hair was a little damp but she'd mostly managed to avoid the rain. "I love you."

My heart felt as if it could smile in moments like these. "I'll come and tuck you in. I love you too."

___

We're nearing the end of the story guys ! How are you all enjoying it ? :)